
Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/11926557.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Graphic_Depictions_Of_Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
  Category:
      F/M
  Fandom:
      Harry_Potter_-_J._K._Rowling
  Relationship:
      Lily_Evans_Potter/Severus_Snape, Lily_Evans_Potter_&_Severus_Snape
  Character:
      Lily_Evans_Potter, Severus_Snape, James_Potter, Eileen_Prince, Tobias
      Snape, Petunia_Evans_Dursley, Vernon_Dursley, Mrs_Evans_(Harry_Potter),
      Mr_Evans_(Harry_Potter), Sirius_Black, Euphemia_Potter, Fleamont_Potter,
      Bathilda_Bagshot, Alice_Longbottom, Frank_Longbottom, Tom_Riddle_|
      Voldemort, Bellatrix_Black_Lestrange, Lucius_Malfoy, Nagini_(Harry
      Potter), Albus_Dumbledore, Rabastan_Lestrange, Rodolphus_Lestrange,
      Kingsley_Shacklebolt, Remus_Lupin, Narcissa_Black_Malfoy, Madam_Rosmerta,
      Aberforth_Dumbledore, Sybill_Trelawney, Peter_Pettigrew, Avery_Jr._(Harry
      Potter), Mulciber_Jr._(Harry_Potter), Gellert_Grindelwald, Augusta
      Longbottom, Original_Character, Bartemius_Crouch_Jr., Minerva_McGonagall,
      Orion_Black, Walburga_Black, Regulus_Black, Kreacher_(Harry_Potter),
      Merope_Gaunt, Marvolo_Gaunt, Morfin_Gaunt, Tom_Riddle_Sr., Caractacus
      Burke, Helena_Ravenclaw, The_Bloody_Baron, The_Grey_Lady_(Harry_Potter),
      Rowena_Ravenclaw, Godric_Gryffindor, Helga_Hufflepuff, Salazar_Slytherin,
      Evan_Rosier, Wilkes_(Harry_Potter), Draco_Malfoy, Fawkes_(Harry_Potter),
      Dobby_(Harry_Potter), Dedalus_Diggle
  Additional Tags:
      Post_Hogwarts_AU, Post-Hogwarts, Hogwarts_Fifth_Year, Angst, Heavy_Angst,
      Fluff_and_Angst, Angst_and_Hurt/Comfort, Angst_and_Fluff_and_Smut, Angst
      and_Feels, Comfort/Angst, Rain, Spinner's_End, Cokeworth, Three_Years
      Later, Alternate_Universe, Alternate_Universe_-_Canon_Divergence,
      Alternate_Universe_-_Harry_Potter_Setting, Hurt, Emotional_Hurt/Comfort,
      Hurt/Comfort, Memories, Childhood_Memories, Feelings_Realization,
      Separations, Left_Husband, Married_Wrong_Person, Death_Eaters, Male-
      Female_Friendship, Friends_to_Lovers, Friendship, Best_Friends,
      Gryffindor, Slytherin, Gryffindor/Slytherin_Inter-House_Relationships,
      Hogwarts_Inter-House_Relationships, Hogwarts_Inter-House_Friendships,
      Revelations, Dark_Mark, Forgiveness, Second_Chances, Adulthood, Explicit
      Language, Drama_&_Romance, Romance, Childhood_Friends, Mistakes, Sexy
      Times, Marauders'_Era, Snily, Snape_&_Lily_Forever, Severus_&_Lily, Lily
      Evans_Potter_&_Severus_Snape_Friendship, First_War_with_Voldemort, James
      Potter_Bashing, Minor_James_Potter/Lily_Evans_Potter, Nudity, Partial
      Nudity, Regret, Suspicions, Daily_Prophet, Making_Out, Making_Up,
      Implied/Referenced_Sex, Implied_Sexual_Content, Kissing, Rough_Kissing,
      Gentle_Kissing, Love_Bites, Order_of_the_Phoenix_(Harry_Potter), Godric's
      Hollow, Wedding, Divorce, Post-Divorce, Flashbacks, Loss_of_Parent(s),
      Arguing, Pregnancy, Aurors, Malfoy_Manor, House_Elves, Snakes, James
      Potter_Being_an_Asshole, Poetry, Unexpected_Visitors, Forest_of_Dean,
      Camping, Bathing/Washing, Bathtubs, Oral_Sex, Cunnilingus, Sex, Making
      Love, Not_Suitable/Safe_For_Work, Sorry_Not_Sorry, Explicit_Sexual
      Content, Nightmares, Orgasm, Patronus, Snow_and_Ice, Secrets, Occlumency,
      Legilimency, Hogsmeade, Recruitment, Animagus, Past_Abuse, Past_Child
      Abuse, Past_Alcohol_Abuse/Alcoholism, Bullying, Blizzards_&_Snowstorms,
      Prophecy, Firewhiskey, Canon_Backstory, Backstory, Alternative
      Perspective, Fluff, Fluff_and_Smut, Romantic_Fluff, Pensieves, Lies,
      Fidelius_Charms, Secret_Keeper, Childbirth, Boy-Who-Lived_Neville
      Longbottom, Culling, Lullabies, Masturbation, Torture, Blood_and_Torture,
      Murder, Miscarriage, Avada_Kedavra, Cruciatus, Sectumsempra, Destruction,
      Betrayal, Post-Traumatic_Stress_Disorder_-_PTSD, Guilt, Survivor_Guilt,
      Grimmauld_Place, London, Peter_is_a_Little_Shit, Azkaban, Confrontations,
      Horcruxes, Harry_Potter_is_Not_a_Horcrux, Horcrux_Hunting, Slytherin's
      Locket, Resurrection_Stone, Implied/Referenced_Incest, Emotional/
      Psychological_Abuse, Sexual_Abuse, Child_Abuse, Abuse, Verbal_Abuse, Love
      Potion/Spell, Hogwarts_Founders_Era, Heir_of_Hogwarts_Founders, Room_of
      Requirement, Manticore, Tom_Riddle's_Diary, Fiendfyre, Basilisk(s),
      Babies, Happy_Ending, Eventual_Happy_Ending, Epilogue, Long, Phoenix
      tears, Birthday_Party, Voldemort_Dies, Evil_Voldemort, Wordcount:
      100.000-150.000
  Stats:
      Published: 2017-09-19 Completed: 2017-12-19 Chapters: 35/35 Words: 130499
****** Hope Remains ******
by Valardoheris
Summary
            It's been nearly two years since they left Hogwarts...

       Two years that have passed, leading them down differing paths and
                         farther away from each other.
       Severus Snape became a Death Eater, and Lily Evans married James
                                    Potter.

                But then on a stormy night, everything changed.
Notes
     This story was an absolute monster to write, which set me through so
     many different emotions and thoughts along the way. I am immensely
     proud of it, and love it with every fiber of my being.
     Happy reading, I hope to see you all to the end!
     It goes without saying that I own none of the characters, nor do I
     hope to profit financially from any of this. :)
***** The Tempest *****
Chapter Notes
     There is a portion of this beginning chapter taken directly from the
     brilliant J. K. Rowling in her seventh book, Harry Potter & The
     Deathly Hallows.
See the end of the chapter for more notes
 “The truth is all around you, plain to behold. The night is dark and full of
           terrors, the day bright and beautiful and full of hope…”
                              -George R.R. Martin
                                   [tempest]

Late_November_of_1979
Shadows bathed the cobblestone streets as rain fell in heavy, fat droplets from
the inky-black evening sky. The onslaught of the rain had been sudden and
relentless in its ferocity. The brick houses stood in forgotten rows, their
windows often marred with cracks or jagged edges of neglect, no sign of light
emitting from their depths. Spinner’s End had long been a scar on Cokeworth, a
memory of the industrial time when the mill had brought forth a hope and
promise of future for the working-class family. Those days were long gone, the
mill still standing as a ruin upon the horizon, symbolic of nothing except
neglect and the broken dreams and ambitions of a generation that had long moved
on, or remained behind to wallow in a state of destituteness. The figure kept
to the shadows, moving with aptness and a determination to keep out of sight.
The wetness had long washed the rubbish from the streets and sidewalks, little
sloughs replacing the once summer-kissed lanes. And still the figure leapt over
them, without so much as a splash or audible ‘click’ of a heel.
A sudden rumble of thunder, and then crack of lightening, briefly bathed the
scene in a strobe of bright white light. The figure looked up at the fading
etch of lightening, face momentarily silhouetted by the glow. Pulling their
black cloak tighter, they resumed their movements after the blackness had once
again enveloped them, slipping once more into the shadows. For every house
passed, not one showed even a remote glimpse of habitation, not until the end
of the lane. The very last house backed up to a tumultuous and dark river, once
the runoff of the mill, and most certainly brown and filthy by the light of the
day. The exterior was no different in appearance from any of the others, the
yard of no concern, white paint peeling from the door and along the trim. The
only sign of occupancy came from the dull glow behind the pulled drapes, almost
undiscernible unless standing at the foot of the front steps. The figure’s
black leather boots sunk slightly into the sucking, thick churn of mud, rain
cascading down the front of the cloak, and continuing in delicate trails down
to the sodden earth. For a long moment they stared, unmoving in their study of
the exterior of the place. As if answering their question, the door cracked
open with a loud and protesting squeak. The figure made it up two steps before
being grabbed roughly by the inhabitant of the crumbling house and slammed into
the wall beside the still ajar door, their hood continuing to conceal them from
view.
“And to whom do I owe this unannounced visitation?” the man questioned in a low
and precisely versed tone, his wand raised in defense, pressed to the throat of
the hidden figure.
He was tall, dressed in long black robes, his hair equally black and shiny,
falling to his shoulders, and slightly into his eyes with suspicion. The eyes
were narrowed, scarcely more than two black slits of distrust, his mouth a
frown, teeth slightly bared in dislike. The figure struggled silently in his
grasp, met with strength that overpowered its own, and forced to remain pressed
to the crumbling exterior of the house.
“Who sent you?” he spat, “The Dark Lord will hear about this transgression, and
you will be met with death- “
His words fell away as the hood of the cloak shifted slightly, and a curl of
auburn hair fell from its depths. Closing his partially open mouth, he stared
intently at the lock of hair as though he had seen a ghost, his complexion
paling even more than its normal shade. Slowly he moved his eyes higher,
studying the depths of the concealed blackness of the hood, and the hint of
emerald green eyes within. Loosening his grip on the figure slightly, he
wrenched the hood back, revealing the last person he thought he would ever be
faced with again.
“Lily?”
“Severus…”
A silence fell between the pair as they stared at one another with a multitude
of emotions melded into one. The rain continued to fall around them, though
they remained dry from the porch of the house. Dark eyes locked with emerald
green ones, both unwavering in their study of the other, both unable to find
the words that they wished to speak- So much had passed between them over the
years, much of it good, though some of it best left unsaid. It had been close
to three years since their lives had crossed paths, and time had changed them
both. Slowly Severus Snape lowered his wand from its place at Lily Evans’
throat, his hand falling to his side, and his grip on her shoulder loosening
until only his fingertips lingered in a quiet caress of the damp fabric that
shielded her from the rain. She didn’t smile, and her features gave no inkling
or hint as to why she had suddenly appeared on the doorstep of his childhood
home after so many years.
“Did you want to come in?” he asked her, his mouth dry, though finally able to
form words, his voice scarcely more than a whisper.
She nodded, moving from the wall he had pinned her against, and slipping
through the doorway and into the dimness of the Snape family home. He followed
her inside, shutting and barring the door tightly, and whispering an
incantation for good measure. When he turned back around, she had hung the
black cloak upon the standing coat rack by the door. Her head was bent, hands
moving over the front of her clothes, a dark floral long-sleeved dress, the hem
reaching just above her knee, leggings visible beneath. She tapped her boots to
remove any excess water from them, the black leather shiny from the rain,
reaching just below her knees. But her hair, as always, was what entranced him.
Long and red like fire, curls falling in loose waves to the small of her back.
Even after three years, three long years of swearing off of this girl he had
long pined for, long loved from afar, and knew deep down, that he could never
win her love… She still managed to bring an ache to his chest, and a flutter of
anxiety to his stomach at the sight of her. When she raised herself back up to
full height, her eyes once again fell upon his. The most stunningly green eyes
he had ever met, almond-shaped, and fiery with gold flecks. She licked her
lower lip, moistening the soft pink flesh that called to him.
She chose her path, and you chose yours.
“Severus, it’s been a long time…” she began at last, her voice the same, though
a deep sadness clear in its notes.
He swallowed and nodded, “Yes it has.”
“I- I know we left a lot of things unsaid…”
“That was your choice, not mine.”
She bit her lip uncomfortably this time, diverting her eyes, as she clasped her
hands together, “We were young...”
“Old enough that you couldn’t forgive,” he heard himself say, the pains of that
fateful day long believed dead flaring within him once more.
“You called me a Mudblood!” she shouted, her brow furrowing with sudden anger,
“What did you expect me to do?”
“To realize that I fucked up!” he shouted back, “I told you I was sorry! I
waited for hours outside of the Gryffindor Tower to see you, and to tell you
how much I regretted that- How much I knew, and still know, that I can never
take it back. Lily, don’t tell me that you believe for one second, that I
haven’t felt shame these past three years for what happened between us…” he
paused, stepping towards her, “You were my best friend! Hell, you were my only
real friend, and I fucked everything up. I drove you away from me, and into the
arms of that piece-of-shit, Potter. I loved you.”
She had been staring at him intently, though at his last revelation, her eyes
filled with tears, her face transforming with the emotions she felt at the
words he spoke.
“I was afraid to say it then, afraid of the rejection that I would face at
hearing you tell me I was only a friend… That I would only ever just be your
friend. But I have nothing to lose now, nor hide when it comes to you. I loved
you, Lily Evans. I loved you with every bone in my body and would do anything
for you… I still would.”
A sob escaped her, and she swayed on her feet, slipping to the dusty
floorboards of the forgotten living room, the furniture something of a time
machine to that of their youth, the walls lined with shelves, and the shelves
filled with tome upon tome and countless other books. She covered her face with
her hands and cried, the memories of their childhood flooding over her, and the
moment that had inevitably driven them apart.
“I’m sorry.”
“I’m not interested.”
“I’m sorry!”
“Save your breath.”
She was transported to that moment when she had begrudgingly left the common
room of the Gryffindor Tower to find Severus waiting outside the portrait of
the Fat Lady, his arms crossed over his chest, determined to see her. She was
wearing her white nightgown with a red robe open over her shoulders; angry and
hurt. She was just sixteen, but her emotions rendered her blinded by a
disregard for anything that her oldest and closest friend might tell her. She
wanted him to feel the pain that he had caused her, and she hoped that if he
could see her wounded by his words, that she might somehow be able to persuade
him away from the path he seemed determined to follow.
“I only came out because Mary told me you were threatening to sleep here.”
“I was. I would have done. I never meant to call you Mudblood, it just- “
“Slipped out?” she could hear herself say, her own anger overcoming her, “It’s
too late. I’ve made excuses for you for years. None of my friends can
understand why I even talk to you. You and your precious little Death Eater
friends – you see, you don’t even deny it! You don’t even deny that’s what
you’re all aiming to be! You can’t wait to join You-Know-Who, can you?”
She hadn’t even let him explain, she hadn’t wanted to. Nothing of his
explanations or thoughts mattered to her, and all she had aimed to do was wound
and hurt him with her words. Had it been her fault that he had made friends
with the likes of Avery and Mulciber? She couldn’t blame herself for that, he
had needed to make friends within his own House at Hogwarts School of
Witchcraft and Wizardry… But why did it have to be them? Why the supremacist
Pure-Blood families that sought to exterminate everyone who was not like them?
The likes of people who insisted that she was just a ‘freak’… The idea long
shared with her older sister. Lily had thought that Severus had been different,
that he had been able to see her for more than just how she had been gifted
with magic at birth… After all, he wasn’t a Pure-Blood either. But had he
joined the Death Eaters just as a means to impress her? To prove that he could
be something? And what had she done? For all of those years she had been
friends with the Slytherin, despite the pressures within their two rival
Houses, she had run into the arms of the one person she long couldn’t stand.
James Potter had tormented Severus for years, she had witnessed it first-hand,
and yet despite her long-felt dislike towards the Chaser of the Gryffindor
Quidditch Team, she had finally relented and gone on a date with him. More so,
she had married him shortly after the end of their seventh-year, the ‘perfect
couple,’ the Head Boy and the Head Girl. Look at how well that had turned out…
Maybe it had all been a farce she had been just too blind to recognize from her
own bitterness towards her old friend, and childish determination to hurt him
worse than he had her.
“Sev, I’m sorry,” she managed at last, her voice choked with tears, “I know you
can’t take back what you said, and I know that I can’t change anything that
I’ve done either… I hurt you, and I meant to… I wanted to! And all I did was
hurt myself just as much in the long run. I was fucking stupid, Sev! We both
were… But I should have listened to you, I should have cared more about our
friendship and everything that we had been through together. You were my first
friend! You knew me for a witch before I even knew it myself. I failed you, I
fucked up and I can’t take it back… I don’t expect you to forgive me, and I
don’t deserve you or your love, not after all of the things that I’ve done- How
I turned my back on you when all you wanted to do was talk.” She shook her
head, eyes filled with tears, her cheeks stained with the trails they had made
when falling from her eyes, “I should have- I should have…”
He knelt before her, a hand lightly covering one of her own, “Should have done
what?”
She swallowed a hard lump of emotion in her throat, her attention momentarily
snapped to the feel of his warm hand upon hers. She stared at it, his hand, his
touch proving the comfort she somehow desperately needed. Slowly she turned to
meet his eyes once more, utter seriousness coming over her, “I shouldn’t have
pushed you away. I should have thrown my arms around you and told you how much
you meant to me… How much you still mean to me. I should have told you that I
loved you, and that I was just a stupid sixteen-year-old that only wanted to
hurt you worse than you hurt me. I didn’t want more pain in your life, and I
could only see the Death Eaters bringing you that. Instead, I did it to you
myself. I drove you to them, I threw you away like garbage, and I’ve never been
able to forgive myself for it.” A new sob escaped her and she diverted her
gaze, the tears breaking from her eyes and falling in new waterfalls down her
cheeks and in droplets to the floor. “I lost myself when I drove you away. I
forgot everything that mattered most, and here I am now… Two years older and
with nothing to show.”
“You married him- “
She bit her lower lip, the taste of her salty tears overpowering upon her
tongue, “I left James.”
Severus found himself at a loss for words, his mouth slightly agape, and brow
furrowed as he studied the crumpled woman before him. “Why? Why would you do
that? And how did you even know I’d be here?”
She smiled, an expression both beautiful and desperately sad as her eyes found
him once more, “I didn’t know you’d be here… I had hoped. But I had nowhere
else to go. I had no one else to turn to, and I knew that my only chance was if
you were still here- Still in Cokeworth, still in Spinner’s End.”
He rose back up to his feet, fingertips and hands moving through his shoulder-
length dark hair, a loud sigh emitting from deep within his chest. His eyes
were closed as he rubbed his temples with his thumbs, the sleeves of his black
robe falling down to his elbows. Lily’s eyes darted to the branded tattoo upon
his inner left forearm, the skull with a coiling snake protruding from its
mouth and twisting around maliciously. She sat up on her knees, eyes widening
at the truth painted clearly before her for the first time. She covered her
mouth to stifle the gasp she was unable to hold back.
“God damn it, Lily…” he breathed, pinching the bridge of his nose, eyes still
shut, “I never thought I would see you again- You can’t be found here, it isn’t
safe.”
“I’m not leaving you again,” she managed, rising back up to her feet, “James
and I are through; I don’t know if we ever really were to begin with… Sev,
please- “
“You can’t just replace him with me because you’ve had some revelation!” he
shouted, rounding on her, “I came from nothing, Lily, and all I ever wanted was
you. From the first moment I laid eyes on you in the park; even after you
wanted nothing to do with me. There’s never been anyone else for me! And you
went off and married that monster…” he threw his arms out in frustration, “I
thought I’d finally gotten over you, and then somehow you show up on my
doorstep, the ghost sent to haunt me until the end of my days.”
“I’ll go if you want me to…” she whispered, eyes on the floor and the puddle
her cloak had left from the torrential storm raging outside, “I’m sorry, I… I
don’t know…”
His back was to her, and she watched as his shoulders visibly slumped, his
features softening from the rigidity and resentment he had loosed at being
reunited with her again after so many years, and so many previously unspoken
words. He turned, his eyes transformed to that which she remembered, uneasy,
insecure, and focused entirely upon her. He made the few steps that separated
them, “I don’t know either.” His words echoed hers, but when his arms closed
around her, pressing her body to his, she felt herself melt and cling to him as
though being parted would mean certain death. Her arms hugged tightly around
him, her head finding comfort in the hollow between his shoulder and neck. His
embrace was strong and almost crushing, though just what she somehow knew she
had desperately needed all along.
“I can still go,” she found herself telling him, her pink lips very close to
his ear.
The tip of his nose brushed against hers, their eyes remaining half-lidded
until he had moved just slightly away from her. His breath was warm on her cool
skin, and goosebumps prickled upon her exposed flesh from the sudden warmth and
tickle of his stubble. “I would rather you stay.”
She brushed her fingertips through his hair, lightly trailing them over his
forehead, and then the curve of his cheek and jawline, her eyes studying his
after a moment of exploration, “Do you forgive me?”
“Only if you can forgive me, Ms. Potter,” he told her, and despite his
vehemence at the emphasis upon her married name, she saw a sparkle of amusement
playing in the depths of his deep brown eyes.
“I should mop up that puddle,” she stated, observing the growing wetness from
her cloak upon the wooden floorboards.
“I think not,” he smirked, “I think you owe me something more than just
housework.”
“Oh?” she breathed, her lips grazing over his cheek.
His hands held firmly at her waist, a slight tremble noticeable when she moved
her hands down the roughness of his cheeks to his neck, and then pressed her
lips firmly to his, the sensation something comparable to electricity shooting
through both of their veins. He tasted of mint, she of vanilla. And as the
storm continued to rage overhead, Severus Snape and Lily Evans found each other
within a forgotten house, in a forgotten part of their childhood hometown.
Chapter End Notes
     I am SO excited about this story!!! :)
     I hope you all enjoy it as well- This is, of course, only the first
     installment.
     And please let me know with kudos and comments about what you think! 
     If you'd like to listen to the song that really led me through the
     writing of this chapter, you can do so here:
     Broken_-_Lifehouse
***** Break of Dawn *****
Chapter Summary
     The morning after the storm. Rain still falls outside, and questions
     still linger within.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
“Lay, lady, lay- Lay across my big brass bed. Stay, lady, stay- Stay with your
 man awhile... Why wait any longer for the one you love, when he’s standing in
                                front of you?"
                                  -Bob Dylan
                                     [bed]
In the early light of dawn, Severus stirred. Sleep did not come easily to him
these days, but he found himself strangely relaxed, a part of his mind somehow
eased. He sat up, the mattress bending slightly beneath him, as he moved his
legs to the side of the bed and his feet emerged, hitting the cool floor. He
rolled his spine in a ritualistic stretch, wiping the sleep from his eyes. The
rain was still audible in its continued showering upon the outside world, the
fresh smell of the storm flooding into the room from the cracked window sill.
He ran his fingers through his dark hair and rose from the disheveled sheets.
He strode nude from the small bedroom to the privy down the hall, and yawned as
he entered the space.
What was he doing?
“You’re a fucking idiot is what you are,” he told himself with a shake of his
head.
In the years since the end of his and Lily’s friendship, things had changed in
so many ways for the reserved Slytherin. He had always preferred quiet
listening and observations to moments of passionate discord that his peers had
often been so fond of. His actions the evening before had been unexpected even
to him. He was normally not one to react, but Lily had brought all of his long
subdued feelings and emotions to the surface. There had never been anyone quite
like her… He had never met another person who could bring him so much joy, and
yet shatter him so deeply. He sighed, turning the tab on the faucet and
splashing his face and hair with cold water. When he raised his eyes to the
cracked mirror above the basin, he stared at the reflection of the man before
him.
His dark hair hung plastered to his face, droplets still clinging to his pale
flesh. His cheeks were covered in a two or three-day beard, his eyes dark, the
shadow of circles beneath the sockets. He was no longer the boy who sought an
escape from this very house on Spinner’s End, from his neglectful mother and
abusive father. He was no longer a target for bullying and cruelty by the
Marauders, led by James Potter, the ex-husband, and former lover of his longest
friend. Hell, even she had ceased in enticing him when it came to her charms,
her beauty, kindness… What was he kidding?
“She can’t stay here, and you can’t protect her,” he told the reflection before
him.
After she had turned him away outside of the Gryffindor Tower in their fifth-
year at Hogwarts, he had made the longest journey of his life, one that was
merely floors from where she resided. He trudged alone, more alone than he had
ever felt before, to the Slytherin Dungeon and his new friends. “Death Eater
friends,” she had called them. She had been right; he couldn’t deny her that.
Lily Evans was not stupid, no, she was so much more than that… And he had
ruined everything. He stopped trying to win her affection and attentions after
their fight. He pretended to stop caring, to stop loving, to stop missing her-
All of which he was unsuccessful at. He watched in their seventh-year as she
entered the school as Head Girl, and on the arm of the Head Boy- James Potter.
She had looked radiant, happy, and as though he had never meant anything to her
before. It was as though they had become strangers, all communication ceasing
between them, even stares going unnoticed. They weren’t overlooked by him, but
he knew that there was nothing that he could do, and so he stomached this
reality- The fact that Lily was bound to make a future, and share a life with
his greatest rival and enemy. He pretended not to care. He pretended to hate
her and feel indifference towards the beautiful redhead. All of it lies.
Avery and Mulciber had welcomed him into their circle, their father’s both
longtime supporters of You-Know-Who. He was told that his abilities in the Dark
Arts were something sought after, and that he could be of a great use to the
supporting ranks of the Dark Lord. He was informed that he would be rewarded
substantially for his contributions to the cause, and become one of many that
were entrusted to the rise of the Greatest Wizard of All Time. What did he have
left to lose? There was no place for him outside of the walls of Hogwarts
School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. No place for him in this shithole of a house
with a broken mother, and alcoholic father whose best form of conversation with
his only child, and only son, was yelled obscenities, and the beatings brought
down from either his fists or belt.
Severus gripped the edge of the porcelain sink with a hard fist, his knuckles
white as he gritted his teeth, his jaw clenched almost painfully tight. He had
always known that he had inherited his father’s looks, his father’s face.
Tobias Snape was nothing but a drunk and useless excuse of a human being, and
Severus Snape had long hated the man he had been cursed to call ‘father.’ The
choice had been an easy one.
He remembered seeing the newspaper one hot August night, shortly after paying
his mother a visit. It had been one of the last times that he would see her
before she passed away, and she had been so excited to show him the column
within.
“Do you see it? That girl Lily- The one you used to hang around with; well
she’s a married woman now!”
“I see, mum.”
“Well aren’t you happy for her? The two of you used to be inseparable; what
ever happened?”
“We grew up.”
“I had always hoped that the two of you would open your eyes and see what a
perfect match you would have made… Too bad she’s a Potter now.”
It had brought about a new wave of hurt and pain he had thought impossible. She
was happy, she was married, and she was with a bastard like James Potter. The
photograph in the newspaper had shown an animated and unmistakably happy
couple. He knew that he should feel something reminiscent of joy or contentment
for the life that Lily would lead, but that was nothing short of a charade. He
had left his mother’s bedside and returned to his work alongside his former
schoolmates, and under the watchful supervision of Lucius Malfoy. The wealthy
and silver-haired Pure-Blood had been a Prefect during Severus’ first few years
at Hogwarts, and he soon proved a close friend and confidante.
If Lucius knew what transpired here, last night…
He dried his face off with a hand towel and made his way back to the bedroom.
As he stepped across the threshold he paused, finding himself glued to the
spot, the air nearly knocked from his chest. In the few rays of light that
slipped past the drawn blinds and into the space, his eyes fell upon the
sleeping form in the old brass bed of his youth. She was laying partially on
her side, and some on her stomach, her hair a sea of fiery curls splayed across
the pillowcase- A sharp contrast to the white linen. Her eyes were shut, pink
lips pursed in peaceful slumber, still swollen from the passionate kisses and
little bites from the hours prior. The curve of her slender and fair neck met
with an enticing dip at her collarbone, her shoulders bare, continuing all the
way down her arms to her wrists and hands. The white sheet was wrapped around
her middle, concealing her lower half, though just a hint of thigh, and the
backs of both knees and calves were visible, her feet were bent gracefully, the
toes painted a bright shade of lavender. His eyes moved over her in repeated
stares of mixed disbelief and adoration.
Lily Evans- No, Lily Evans Potter was a sight to behold. For all of his years
of anguish at the loss of their friendship, the never-ending ache of his broken
heart and wounded pride, Severus found himself still surprised that she could
elicit such feelings in him again after just one meeting… A meeting after three
years of silence.
Pull yourself together, man!
She whimpered something quiet in her sleep and shifted in the sheets, rolling
onto her back, her arms moving up towards the headboard, her head turned away
from him. The sheet slipped in her movements, falling down from her chest and
revealing her right breast exposed to the chilly morning air. There was no
diverting his gaze, and he fought a groan from deep within his chest as his
eyes fell upon the supple and perfectly rounded breast with a blushing pink
nipple pointing erect, and upwards, to the popcorn ceiling. He ran the fingers
of his left hand absentmindedly through his messy hair, blinking his eyes
repeatedly as he remembered the details of the night before- The events playing
out like a film through his mind.
She had kissed him, her lips soft and yet firm with desire. He had scooped her
into his arms, her legs moving around his waist, ankles crossing at the small
of his back. Her mouth had parted in a sigh, her eyes shut tightly, one hand
holding onto the back of his neck, tangled in his black hair, the other pressed
to his cheek, fingertips lightly biting into his stubble and the flesh beneath.
He had caught her lip in a playful bite with his teeth, dragging them across
that soft and sensitive skin and to the side of her jaw and then the softness
of her neck. The smell of her hair had been intoxicating, both clean from the
rain, and just a hint of lilac. He had pressed her into the door of the
bedroom, a groan catching in his throat as her hand slipped from his face and
down his front to clutch tightly at his robes.
“I missed you.”
“Never let go,” she had sighed, her eyes finding his, startling him with their
seriousness for a moment, “Don’t leave me.”
“Never again,” he had promised.
She had reached lower and turned the doorknob, and he pressed the door open
with her back, only setting her down once they were across the threshold of the
room. She pulled his robe from his shoulders as though their lives depended
upon it, his arms moving around her, hands pressed in a firm hold to her back
as he brought her in for another kiss. Her mouth opened against his, their
breaths hot with need and urgency as he had lightly licked her lower lip, his
tongue slipping into her mouth. She had pressed her palms to his chest, her own
tongue intertwining and dancing in equal exploration with his own. There was no
hiding his arousal, he knew she could feel his desire- He wanted her to. He was
absolutely mad for her, wanted her, craved her. And he could tell that she
seemingly needed him just as badly. He moved his hands up her back to the
zipper at the base of her nape, and pulled it downward, his hands moving to her
shoulders and steadily edging the fabric off of them. She had broken their kiss
then, licking her lips, her face flushed with the rush of ardor as she pulled
her arms free from the sleeves of her dress and stepped from the garment,
removing her leather boots and leggings at the same time, and standing before
him in nothing except for her black bra and panties.
His breathing had sped up at the sight of her undressing, and he stood frozen
to the spot as she rounded on him, her hands finding the hem of his dark grey
T-shirt and pulling it up his chest. He had taken it from there, discarding the
garment alongside hers upon the floor, and then undid his belt and began
unbuttoning the fly to his pants.
“Sev…?” the voice was quiet which called to him, and it took him a moment to
realize that Lily had woken up.
He stared at her, slack jawed for a moment, forgetting his nakedness, and moved
to the edge of the bed, sitting upon the mattress. The springs and bed squeaked
against his added weight, the sheets cold from his lack of presence and body
heat. He sat with his back to her, facing the cobwebbed wall, his hands once
again resting on his thighs.
Was this all just a big mistake?
He could hear her stirring behind him, the sheets moving as she rolled onto his
side of the bed, “Come back to bed.”
Despite her words, Severus found himself lost in his thoughts and the gravity
of his actions. He had dedicated himself to the Dark Lord and to his
supremacist cause. For three years he had risen through the ranks, befriended
the highest ranking supporters, and become a truly trusted member of the inner
council. And he had thrown it all away in one night. He had put himself in
utter peril at his lapse in judgement, at his weakness when it came to Lily.
But it wasn’t a mistake. No, he was certain of that. He could never, and would
never deny her. But his offense of bedding her, of potentially being caught
with a Muggle-born in his bed, in as prone a state as they currently were,
could mean only the ruin of them both if they were discovered.
Behind him, Lily sat up, brushing the sheet from her exposed form, and rose
upon her knees, pressing herself against him from behind, her arms moving
around him and lightly caressing up and down his chest. He closed his eyes to
her touch, the feel of the softness and smoothness of her skin and body sending
a tingle of desire straight to his loins. She kissed his neck, slipping around
the side of him and onto her feet. She stepped to the place between his legs,
her auburn tresses in complete disarray, her hands resting lightly on his
shoulders. She moved them to his neck and then his cheeks, forcing him to look
up at her, and meet her stunning green eyes.
“Is something the matter, my love?”
My love.
Her words broke his heart just as much as they filled him with a surge of
elation. He searched her face for any sign of dishonesty, and he found none.
She looked genuinely concerned and perplexed, and he shook his head in a silent
answer to her question, “No.”
“You’re cold,” she told him, her hands moving across his skin in touches that
did nothing but stoke his already building lust, “Come back to bed, let me help
warm you back up… I don’t want you to catch cold.”
He kissed the center of her chest, his arms moving around her, and nodded after
a short while. She smiled, her features set alight with happiness and moved
back into the bed, pulling him in beside her by the hand. They laid on their
sides facing one another, arms twined about the other, eyes locked in
contentment.
“Would it be terribly improper to stay like this forever?” she asked him, her
voice quiet, fingertips absentmindedly playing with the hair on his forearm,
and then across the light dusting on his chest.
He smirked, “It all depends on what you consider ‘proper.’”
“Is nakedness not proper, Severus Snape?”
He chuckled, his fingers playing amongst her auburn curls, “Perhaps not for
most, but I’ll take you however you see fit, Lily Potter.”
“Could we leave the surname off?”
He kissed her lightly on the lips, the tip of his nose playing with hers as he
stared deeply into her eyes, “I thought you’d never ask.”
Chapter End Notes
     I am beyond honored by the attention and positive feedback I have
     already been getting on this fic!
     Thank you all so much!
     ♥
     Song this time:
     Breakeven_(Falling_to_Pieces)_-_The_Script
***** Separation *****
Chapter Summary
     It was not a decision made overnight, but Lily somehow knew that a
     life with James Potter was not the future she wanted.
Chapter Notes
     I've got a nice long chapter for you all!
     Happy Friday!
     There is a portion of this third chapter taken directly from the
     brilliant J. K. Rowling in her seventh book, Harry Potter & The
     Deathly Hallows.
See the end of the chapter for more notes
 “He’s more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are
                                  the same.”
                               -Charlotte Brontë
                                   [goodbye]

Four_Months_Prior-_July_of_1979
Godric’s Hollow was a quaint little village, and just the place that Lily had
long imagined herself settling down in. Elements of the place had reminded her
much of Cokeworth and her childhood garden home. But this was someplace
completely new, and a fresh start for both her and James Potter. By the end of
her seventh-year at Hogwarts, Lily had known that she could not continue living
in the cottage on the quiet lane that overlooked the shadow of the old mill,
and the slum of Spinner’s End. Petunia had already left home, recently married
to Vernon Dursley, leaving only their parents residing in their childhood
abode. It was time to leave the nest, and she would do so with James. It wasn’t
that she hated her hometown, it was that she sought her independence, that she
was desperate for a life all her own, and one away from the memories associated
with Cokeworth.
Her late summer wedding had been the talk of the town, an event attended by
many of both magical and muggle backgrounds. She had been a blushing bride,
filled with excitement and nervousness. The wedding dress had been purchased
from a local shop in town; ivory and strapless, with a lace bodice and mermaid
fit. The lower portion was covered in elegant white petals, and the train was
modest, trailing just slightly behind her. As Lily had sat at the vanity in her
old childhood bedroom, just having completing the last details of her hair, her
mother had gifted her with ‘something blue and borrowed,’ her personal set of
silvery-blue pearls. James’ mother, Euphemia, had contributed ‘something old,’
a family heirloom of the Potter’s, her own grandmother’s handmade lace
handkerchief; pinning it beneath her skirts.
Mr. Evans had escorted his youngest daughter down the aisle, Mrs. Evans
sniffling with emotion at the sight of her daughter being presented to the
young man that waited for her. James Potter had looked exceptionally handsome,
dressed in very expensive dress robes, his hair actually appearing combed and
in order, the metallic frame of his glasses shining in the summer sunshine. He
had beamed at his bride, astounded by her beauty as she moved towards him, and
she had smiled with radiant happiness, tears welling up in her eyes as he took
her hands in his. There had scarcely been a dry eye present at the ceremony,
though Petunia and Vernon Dursley were a noted absence all together from the
scene. The celebration had gone long into the evening, the garden lights
glowing all around them and their guests as they held each other close and
danced to song after song. It had been as though they were the only two people
in the world that mattered. But even as she rested her head on the shoulder of
her new husband, Lily couldn’t help but feel as though something or someone
were missing from the festivities… She tried to subdue the feeling, locking it
away in the back of her mind.
The move had been a welcome change to the both of them, the small cottage on
the outskirts of Godric’s Hollow had been what both seemingly wanted and
needed. The location seemed right, both having been members of Godric
Gryffindor’s House during their years at Hogwarts; they even became neighbors
to the elderly scholar, Bathilda Bagshot. Lily had taken great joy in setting
up their little home, and James began finding himself more and more immersed in
work for the Order of the Phoenix. That first year had seemed perfect, almost a
fairytale at times. Unfortunately, it didn’t last.
Fleamont and Euphemia Potter had passed away shortly after Lily and James had
celebrated their first anniversary. Old age had claimed them both in their
sleep, a peaceful demise, though plunging their only child into overwhelming
sorrow for some months. They had left him everything, providing a very
comfortable life for James and Lily in the process. All the while, the strength
of the Dark Lord, Voldemort, and his growing power, left the wizarding world
reeling. It seemed daily that more and more muggles were being attacked, the
Death Eaters seemingly becoming more and more emboldened by the power of their
master. Around this time, Lily’s father passed away suddenly, and unexpectedly,
from a heart attack; her mother succumbing from a broken heart only a few
months after. The funeral had been a nightmare, with Petunia and Vernon Dursley
attempting all that they could to bar Lily and James from attending.
“She won’t even talk to me! She doesn’t understand how much I loved them too…”
Lily had sobbed one evening a few months after the fiasco of a funeral, on the
sofa in their living room.
James had just stared at her, “I don’t know what you want me to say. You
already know how I feel about your sister and her abominable husband.”
“She’s just hurting- “
“Lily, she’s a bitch,” James had sighed, “She doesn’t care about you.”
She had looked up at him then, the tears flowing down her cheeks, her mascara
smudged, “That’s not true! James, you don’t even know her!”
“I know enough,” he told her, “Forget about her! You have me.”
Sometimes I wonder if it’s enough.
“I miss them so much…” she had choked, the memory of her parents flooding her
with a new wave of emotion.
“I can’t do this right now,” he said with frustration, “I have to meet Sirius
and the other members of the Order. I’m already late.”
Lily had closed her eyes, letting out a shuddering breath, and turned to stare
into the fire burning in the hearth before her, unable to meet the eyes of her
husband. James had walked over to her, leaning down to kiss her, but she turned
her face away from him instead. Placing his hand on her jaw, he forcibly turned
her head and pressed a kiss to her lips, withdrawing it with irritation, and
then leaving her alone so he could Apparate from the front steps of their home.
When she had heard the distinct ‘pop’ that told her that he had gone, she wiped
her eyes with her hands and then reached for the latest edition of ‘The Daily
Prophet.’ It was all the same- Death and fear. She knew that she should be
proud of James and the others for their dedication to the Order; they were
trying to make a stand against the supremacy of the Dark Lord and his
followers, and that was something admirable to say the least. But she had never
before felt more alone and alienated from both her magical peers, and even her
husband. Flipping through the newspaper had done nothing to comfort her or her
hurt feelings. James just didn’t understand what she was going through, he had
no way to relate to the loss that she had felt from both her parents’ deaths
and the disownment by her older sister. No, James had always been the golden
child, the apple of his parents’ eyes. He had no idea what it felt like to know
that your only family was disinclined to communicate with you solely because of
being you. She had not sought the gift of magic, and as much as it had been a
blessing in her life, it had also been something of a curse in its own way.
She paused on a page of the paper, the animated photograph catching her eye. It
showed officials from the Ministry of Magic disrupting a group of Death Eaters
in an act of purported immoral behavior. They had not been guilty of any
specific crime, though were suspected of having plotted something unpleasant in
regards to a group of nearby muggles. She could not immediately identify anyone
within the image, though one figure stood out to her for some reason. Pulling
the newspaper closer, she inspected the figure in question, her eyes squinting
at the page. All of the Death Eaters wore long black cloaks over their robes
with their hoods pulled up over their heads, and intricate masks covering their
faces in order to conceal their identities. But one, just one, seemed familiar.
As he reached for his broomstick, his mask fell just slightly before he caught
it and pushed it back into place. But it couldn’t be…
Severus?
The recognition sent a wave of queasiness into the pit of her stomach. She
clenched the paper tightly in her quivering hands, her fingernails piercing the
thin paper, her grip crumpling and tearing at the edges. Her eyes closed and
she fought hard to steady her breath. She felt too warm and lightheaded, and at
once raced to the privy and vomited into the toilet, holding her red hair back
from the bowl.
He actually did it. He became one of them…
Lily had gone to bed before James returned home from his meeting. She had laid
on her side facing the wall, lost in her thoughts, and too preoccupied to
sleep. Every time she closed her eyes she saw the image from the paper, and
after a while it transformed into memories of her youth and the years at
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry that she spent with her best friend,
her first friend, Severus Snape. She smiled at the thought of their closeness
when she had first not understood the extent of her abilities- Back when she
had been able to make the petals of wildflowers dance when there was no breeze.
He had always been there for her, always willing to answer her questions
regarding the magical world that she had no prior knowledge about.
“How are things at your house?”
“Fine.”
“They’re not arguing anymore?”
“Oh yes, they’re arguing… But it won’t be long and I’ll be gone.”
“Doesn’t your dad like magic?”
“He doesn’t like anything, much.”
He had been an awkward boy, desperate for companionship and attention. Lily and
Petunia had been surprised by him when he had revealed her to be a witch. Not
all of their meetings had gone well by typical standards, but over time a
friendship had blossomed between the two magical youths. Severus had never been
very forthcoming when it came to his personal life, at least in regards to his
mother and father. The little snippets that he had divulged however, were
enough to reveal that Lily had a very different home life. She had never truly
learned the extent of it, but she could speculate from the few comments that he
made. She smiled at the memories that flooded her, brow furrowing as she
remembered her own husband’s first interaction with her former best friend, and
that of Sirius Black as well, when they had ventured to Hogwarts on the scarlet
locomotive for the first-year of their studies.
“You’d better be in Slytherin,” Severus had told her.
“Slytherin?” James had questioned, “Who wants to be in Slytherin? I think I’d
leave, wouldn’t you?”
“My whole family have been in Slytherin,” Sirius had told him.
“Blimey, and I thought you seemed all right!”
“Maybe I’ll break the tradition. Where are you heading, if you’ve got the
choice?”
James had mocked that he held the sword of their House founder himself,
“‘Gryffindor, where dwell the brave at heart!’ Like my dad.”
Severus had made a snorting sound and rolled his eyes.
“Got a problem with that?” James had spat.
“No,” Severus had told him, though he sneered, “If you’d rather be brawny than
brainy- “
“Where’re you hoping to go, seeing as you’re neither?” Sirius had interjected.
They had laughed at him, and she had been enraged by their disparaging remarks.
They didn’t even know him! And they never tried to either. They had mocked her
as well when she had insisted that they leave the compartment and find another.
James had even attempted to trip Severus as they had passed, and both he and
Sirius had called after them with, “See ya, Snivellus!”
Lily had been forced from her inner thoughts at that moment, James having just
entered their bedroom. He moved quietly in the dimness, undressing and then
getting into bed. He had rolled over onto his side, spooning close to her, his
arms moving around her, his lips finding her neck and then the bareness of her
shoulder. He moved his right hand up from her waist to the strap of the
camisole on her shoulder, slipping it down and planting another kiss where the
fabric had only just rested.
“Not tonight, James.”
He paused, “Why not? What’s the matter?”
She brushed his hand away from her and replaced the strap to its prior
position, “I just don’t feel like it.”
He rolled over onto his back and stared up at the ceiling, “You never seem to
feel like it anymore.”
“You’re right,” she told him, sitting up and meeting his brown eyes in the
darkness of the room, “Perhaps you should sleep on the couch.”
“What’s gotten into you?”
“Me? James, you just don’t get it.”
“You’re right, Lily, I don’t!” he told her, sitting up and facing her, “All you
do is mope around the house anymore.”
“I’ve tried to tell you why, and all you do is make things worse! I don’t want
to hear you complain about Tuney and say how she’s a ‘bitch' and ‘hates me' all
the time!”
“Well she does!” he shouted, “Maybe you should listen to me and move on! It
would cause you a lot less hurt in the long run.”
She shook her head in frustration and then threw back the blankets, climbing
from their bed and making to leave the room.
“Lily, wait!” he told her, catching her arm hard as she tried to move past him
and out the door.
Her eyes fell to his hand on her skin, raising them slowly to meet his stare
with narrowed green eyes, “Let go of me, James Potter.”
“Not until we talk about this.”
Lily shook his hand violently from her, exiting the bedroom, and slamming the
door behind her. James followed her, and the two stood staring as they entered
the living room, coals still glowing crimson in the fireplace. For a long time,
they stood there staring in quiet uneasiness at one another.
“Why were you always so cruel to Severus Snape?” she asked finally.
“What?” he asked her, his face contorting with confusion.
“Why?” she repeated, “You were horrible to him!”
“Lily, what are you talking about?” James continued, “He called you a
Mudblood.”
“Only because of your relentless bullying!” she shouted, tears burning in her
eyes, “He was my best friend and all you and your friends ever did was make his
life miserable.”
James rubbed a hand across his brow and blinked a few times as he thought about
how to proceed, “He was a Slytherin- I don’t know! Lily, this is ridiculous.
You haven’t spoken to that Death Eater since we were sixteen. Sixteen! Merlin’s
beard, it’s been four years! Why is it bothering you now?”
She allowed the tears to fall, “Because I loved him and all you ever did was
try and come between us! You acted like a complete asshole and never cared for
anyone but yourself! It might as well have been your fault that our friendship
ended… I’ve been such a fool.”
He closed the space between them, his hands lightly resting atop her shoulders,
“Lily, I love you. I married you because I love you. I always have. Where was
Snivellus when your parents died? Where was Snivellus when the Dark Lord began
his reign of terror? He’s with them now, you know? A Death Eater just as
despicable as the rest. Snivellus never even apologized to you for calling you
a Mudblood- “
“DON’T CALL HIM THAT!!!” she screamed, shoving his hands off of her, “And he
did apologize! I just didn’t listen… I should have listened.”
James threw up his hands in frustration, his neck reddening against the white
of his T-shirt, “This is so fucking stupid! I don’t understand what’s come over
you!”
“You’re right, you don’t understand. You’ve never understood me. All you’ve
ever wanted was me, and you’ve never even known me. And I was blind…” She shook
her head sadly, the tears continuing to fall from her eyes, “I just wanted to
hurt him, to try and persuade him in a stupid childish way into leaving his
obsession with the Dark Arts behind. I threw away my oldest friend and married
you… I made myself believe that if I tried hard enough that I could convince
myself that I actually loved you and that being with you was what I wanted. I
can’t pretend anymore.”
He lowered himself onto the sofa and bowed his head, his hands running back and
forth through his dark and messy hair, unable to meet her eyes, “So this is how
you really feel?”
She choked on the lump of emotion at the back of her throat, “I’m sorry,
James.”
He met her eyes slowly, tears shining in his own, “You’d throw everything away
that we’ve built, everything that we’ve promised each other because of some
late night revelation? Lily, please… Please listen to what you’re saying! It’s
not safe out there, the Dark Lord’s disciples are everywhere.”
Shaking her head sadly, “I can’t. I just can’t do this anymore.”
Lily had left James alone in the living room, returning to their bed for the
night. Neither slept from the words that were spoken between them, and the next
morning they found themselves met with continued awkwardness and arguing. There
would be no convincing her, she had made up her mind.
“Where will you go?” James had asked her as she packed up her things.
“Don’t worry about it.”
He scoffed, “We’re still married, and I still love you- “
“I don’t want to hear it.”
He licked his lips, watching her in silence for a moment, the jealousy finally
boiling out of him, “You’re going to try and find him, aren’t you? You’re going
to try and seek out that slimy traitor? Lily, think about this! Snivellus will
kill you! He’s dedicated himself to You-Know-Who and the purging of muggles!
Rumor from the Order is that it won’t be long until they start targeting
Muggle-borns!”
“James, I told you to stop referring to him by that name,” Lily sighed, “And I
know what the Order says; I’m a member too, remember? And I’m going to the
Longbottom’s. Alice is one of my dearest friends and she and Frank have said
that I can stay for as long as I need.”
“So that’s it?”
“I don’t know what you want me to say,” she told him, “I’m done.”
“What am I supposed to tell people?!”
“That we’re divorced,” she stated flatly, “Now give me your hand so we can
perform the enchantment.”
“No.”
She rolled her eyes, removing her wedding ring from her left hand and held it
out to him. He took it from her, examining the object for a long while, sighing
heavily, and then extending his hand to her as she had instructed. It was quick
and it was done. Without further words and fighting, Lily took hold of her
suitcase and headed out of the door, and out of the cottage in Godric’s Hollow.
James had wished that he could fight the urge to watch her leave him and
everything that they shared behind, but as the front door opened, he found
himself drawn to her. He watched in silence as she stepped out of the door and
seemingly out of his life. It would be a few months before she found the
courage to return to Cokeworth and attempt a reunion with Severus Snape- That
was if he still called the house on Spinner’s End home.
===============================================================================
Lily had awakened from her light drowsing, and turned her head from the
softness of its place on the pillow to see Severus standing in the doorway of
the bedroom of the house on Spinner’s End. He seemed lost in his thoughts, and
was standing naked as the day he was born. She had smiled, blushing slightly at
his boldness, her eyes moving slowly over his form. The years had aged him
some, just as they had her. His hair was much the same, still shoulder-length
and shiny black. He hadn’t shaved in a few days; his cheeks rough with dark
stubble. His body was still lean, though it had become noticeably more muscled,
the strength in his arms evident from his embrace the evening before. Across
his chest there was a light dusting of the same dark hair, a thin trail leading
lower and past his stomach. Dark hair covered his legs, and she blushed a
little deeper trying to avoid a direct stare at his manhood.
“Sev…?”
He had stared at her with surprise, moving to sit at the edge of the bed with
his back to her. She could tell that he was deep in his own thoughts, and she
couldn’t blame him for that.
“Come back to bed,” she had told him, eventually rolling over to his side of
the bed.
Lily had held him from behind for a moment, pressing her body against his,
relishing in the feel of him and his skin against hers. She planted a soft kiss
upon his neck, slowly moving around the side of him, and onto her feet. She had
shifted to the place between his legs, resting her hands lightly upon his
shoulders. After a moment of hesitation, she had slid them slowly up his neck
and to his face, compelling him to meet her eyes with his own. “Is something
the matter, my love?”
He had continued to stare at her, probably seeking to hide his thoughts from
her, though she once again caught a glimpse of the uneasy and insecure presence
that was reminiscent of the boy she had met when they were only nine years old.
Eventually he shook his head in a silent answer to her question, “No.”
“You’re cold,” she had told him, lightly caressing his skin with gentle touches
from her hands and fingertips, “Come back to bed, let me help warm you back up…
I don’t want you to catch cold.”
His kiss to the center of her chest had filled her with a sudden warmth, desire
blooming within her as he moved his arms around her and nodded after a short
while. She had smiled, genuinely happy for the first time in what seemed like
ages, leading him back into the brass bed by the hand. She didn’t want to stop
touching him and holding him, or having him do the same for her. She felt as
though she could stay with him forever, his eyes staring into hers with
adoration and bliss, the likes of which she remembered from their childhood and
time at school.
And then he had called her ‘Lily Potter.’
Shortly after he had kissed her, promising to never call her by her former
married name again, Lily’s eyes had once again been caught by the presence of
the Dark Mark upon her lover’s left arm as he moved his fingers lazily through
her auburn curls. “Have you ever actually seen him?”
“Who?”
“The Dark Lord.”
Severus frowned, retracting his hand from her hair and returning it to his
side. When it became clear that she was waiting and intent on an answer, he
sighed, “Lily, my life’s changed a lot since we last crossed paths.”
“As has mine,” she shrugged, “I never said that I judged you for it… I’m just
rather curious.”
He paused for a long moment, eventually speaking his answer to the ceiling of
the room, “Yes.”
“What does he look like?”
He shot her a glance of suspicion, his brow creased, and then returned his eyes
to the ceiling once more, “How am I to know that you’re not a spy? You have me
in a rather prone state, and you have to admit it’s a little peculiar you
showing up on my doorstep after so many years and then asking such pointed
questions.”
She rolled over on top of him, her body pressed against his, elbow lightly
pressed to his chest, her head resting against the palm of her right hand,
“Fine, I’ll tell you something in exchange, deal?”
He narrowed his eyes at her, his hands moving lightly around her, fingers
interlacing at the small of her back.
“First, I’m Muggle-born, which I’ve heard by the rumors are the latest targets
of You-Know-Who,” she began, and he rolled his eyes at the obvious, “Also,” she
continued, “My ex-husband and I are known members of the Order of the Phoenix.”
“WHAT?!” he nearly shouted, sitting up and backing away from her slightly, his
back pressed against the cool brass of the headboard, “Merlin’s beard, what the
fuck?!”
Lily pulled the sheet tighter around her, “I don’t care if you’re a Death
Eater, Sev- I don’t! I know what’s inside of you… I’ve seen the good in you,
and I know that there’s still good deep inside. I saw you in ‘The Daily
Prophet’ and it led me to where I am now. I love you, and us being on opposite
sides won’t change that.”
“Lily…”
“Do you love me?”
“What-?”
“It’s a simple question, Sev,” she pressed, “I’ll walk out of your life forever
if that’s what you want, but I don’t want to. I want you. I want us to be
together.”
“I love you, Lily,” he stammered, “But being together is not going to be so
easy! You’re right, I mean… It’s not like I can hide the mark from you, and
you’ve seen it. But everything is far more complicated than you make it out to
be. I dedicated my life to the Dark Lord after everything transpired between us
the first time… You don’t know the things that I’ve done, the things that I’ve
turned a blind eye to, or helped orchestrate myself. I’m not just a lowly
initiate when it comes to all of this…” he shook his head and sighed, “We’re
both in very dangerous waters.”
“The Order of the Phoenix would accept you if you switched sides.”
“It’s not so easy!” he exclaimed, "Lily, he'd kill me. They’d probably kill me
right now if they saw that I have you here with me… In my bed.”
She blushed, “Will you promise me something?”
He nodded.
“You’ll at least think about it?”
He diverted his eyes from her for a moment and then locked them with her green
ones and nodded pointedly. Though he didn’t say it, she could tell that he was
nervous that he had already divulged too much to her in the short span that
they had been reunited.
“Now, would he come here right now if you pressed the mark?” Lily questioned, a
sly smile upon her lips.
Severus looked at her incredulously, “I wouldn’t want to find out.”
Lily crawled closer to him, the sheet coming loose as she moved forward, and up
between his legs, until her mouth was mere inches from his lips, bracing
herself on the palms of her hands, “What if I touched it?”
His chest heaved with quickened breath, his pupils dilating with lust, “It’s
only activated when we, who have been marked, touch the brand with the tip of
our wand.”
She pressed a light kiss to his lips, and then sat back up, rotating his left
arm so that she could clearly see the symbol etched in black ink into his
flesh. She met his eyes, and then lowered to the tattoo and kissed it with the
most tender of caresses. It was a gesture that she hoped he would not mistake
for her intent and true feelings. She would not betray him, and she prayed that
he would not betray her either. Severus groaned at the attentions she had
bestowed on such a location, on his emblem of the dedication that he had vowed
to uphold when joining the ranks of the Dark Lord. What was she doing to him?
In just one night everything had seemingly changed. In response, he caught her
by the shoulders as she met his eyes once more, and he pressed his lips to hers
with a hard kiss, his strong arms encircling her and tipping her back into the
jumble of sheets as his passions finally overcame him.
Chapter End Notes
     Comments and kudos are gold for the writer!
     Song for this chapter:
     We_Are_Broken_-_Paramore
***** Tête-à-Tête *****
Chapter Summary
     Reunited and then forced to say "goodbye" all too soon...
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
 “Yeah, I’ve got a ticket to the moon- But I’d rather see the sunrise, in your
                                    eyes.”
                                  -Jeff Lynne
                                     [tea]
It had been just before dusk when the figure emerged from the back door of the
rundown house on Spinner’s End. Lily had pulled the black cloak tightly about
her, bracing herself against the bitter chill of the winter wind. Behind her,
and past the falling-down fence of the house, the canal churned in a violent
whirlpool of brown runoff; the water level heightened, rising dangerously up
the sides of the bank. As she briefly glanced back up at the window of the
residence, she thought for only a moment that she might have imagined a face
looking out at her. Severus. Or had it only been a trick of the mind? Was hope
playing some cruel trick upon her now that she had finally opened her heart?
The hood of the cloak shielded her face from view, disguising her identity to
any passerby. She had waited as long as possible- Partially from necessity when
it came to nightfall, and partly from a real effort to leave her lover’s side.
She had put it off long enough; possibly too long. Severus had been certain
that no one was watching though, and Lily had agreed when it came time for her
departure.
The back steps of the deck had been mostly rotted, the boards softened from the
dreary weather, and years of neglect. She had ventured down them alone, and to
the churn of mud and weeds that made up the forgotten garden. She glanced
around herself quickly, tightly squeezing her concealed wand beneath the
protective cloak. Lily breathed deeply, closing her eyes to the scene
surrounding her. An image slowly formed in her mind’s eye, whitewashed row
houses, a quiet street in London. Identical doors of richly stained finish,
antique hardware, and pretty little gardens protected by matching wrought-iron
gates. Number 713. She smiled slightly, and then heard the distinctive ‘pop’ as
she Aparated from Cokeworth, leaving Spinner’s End and Severus Snape behind.
Everything went black at once, and Lily instantly felt as though she was being
pressed very hard from all directions. The feelings associated with Apparating
had become increasingly dulled over the years, practice making her comfortable
with the popular magical form of transportation. She had never spliced herself,
though she knew plenty of individuals who had. When she had stopped feeling the
sensation of speeding through time and space itself, she opened her eyes. She
stood on the sidewalk staring up at the building she had only just envisioned
in her mind, the number 713 posted in large bronze digits to the left of the
door. Streetlights flickered on around her, and she slipped through the gate
and up the steps as if it had been all the sign needed. With her free hand,
Lily reached into a pocket that she often kept her wand in whilst traveling,
and extracted an antique bronze key which she placed into the lock of the door.
She turned it firmly, the ‘click’ sounding remarkably loud in the quiet of the
lane. She turned the doorknob and slipped into the residence, taking the key
with her. Once inside she quickly barred, bolted, and latched the door by hand;
exchanging the key for her wand, she then added a few incantations, quietly
whispered, for added security.
The entry of the house was modest, with a staircase leading upwards against one
wall, and an archway leading into the kitchen and main living space. Lily hung
her cloak on the rack beside the door, noting the other identical cloak already
in place. She smoothed her clothes and then made for the staircase, willing a
bath and change of attire. About halfway up the expanse, footsteps could be
heard audibly, giving her momentary pause.
“Lily, is that you?” a woman questioned, stepping into the foyer, looking about
and then finding the young woman upon the stairs.
“Alice!” Lily beamed, “Yes, I’m back!”
The two women appeared to be of very similar age, with Alice standing around
the same height, with a slender and yet athletic build. She had short mousy
brown hair and pretty brown eyes. She wore deep blue robes, her wand
instinctively in hand, having heard someone enter the house unannounced.
“I’ll want to hear all about it!” she smiled, “Shall I put on the kettle for a
spot of tea?”
“Please,” Lily nodded, “I’m chilled enough as it is. I won’t be long; I just
want to freshen up a bit first.”
“Take your time.”
The heat of the water instantly soothed Lily’s aching muscles and relaxed her
shoulders and neck. She washed her long red hair and soaked amongst the bubbles
and lavender oils until thoroughly clean and relaxed. She then rose, water
running in trails from her naked form, and wrapped herself in a towel. After
drying her hair and changing into comfortable black robes, she made her way
back down the staircase and into the living space of the house, finding Alice
already seated in front of a crackling fire with two piping hot cups of tea.
Lily sat at the opposite end of the couch from her friend, crossing her legs
casually beneath her, and pulling the cup of tea into her lap.
“Frank’s working late; he won’t be home for some time,” Alice stated, taking a
sip from her cup.
“Is there no meeting tonight?”
Alice shrugged, “Not that I’m aware of. But Lily, where did you go off to?
Where have you been?”
Lily took a sip of her tea, struggling to conceal her smile, “Cokeworth.”
“Your hometown? But why? There isn’t any family there-?”
“No,” she answered, “But there was someone that I had to see.”
Alice studied her friend with a mixture of curiosity and wariness, “Who?”
“You must promise me not to tell.”
“Lily…”
“Promise me, Alice.”
The mousy-haired woman sighed, she fidgeted with the tea bag still steeping
within her cup, and then nodded.
“I went to find Severus.”
“Severus? Severus Snape?”
Lily nodded; the look that her friend wore was one of mixed anxiety and dread.
A few moments of silence passed between the pair, neither willing themselves to
speak first. The secret just revealed sat awkwardly between them, both weighing
the severity of Lily’s recent actions.
“He’s a Death Eater, Lily,” Alice finally spoke, setting her tea cup down upon
the coffee table and turning to her friend, “We can only guess as to the level
of his involvement with You-Know-Who… Why would you go to seek him out? What
possessed you to do something so dangerous?! You could have been killed!”
“Sev would never hurt me,” she said with conviction, “Alice, I know what you’re
thinking, but believe me, you don’t understand the extent of it.”
“The Order would have a fit,” Alice sighed, shaking her head incredulously,
“You didn’t tell him you were a member…” she trailed off, seeing the expression
on the redhead’s face, her eyes filled with worry, “Oh, Lily! What’s come over
you?!”
“You don’t know him, Alice!” she exclaimed, “We’ve been friends for a very long
time- “
“You haven’t spoken since Hogwarts!”
Lily frowned, “You sound like James.”
“I’m not trying to,” Alice pressed, diverting her gaze with discomfort, “I’m
just concerned. I never really knew Severus, so I don’t claim to know the kind
of man that he was or is, but I don’t want you getting hurt either… What
happened? Did you find anything out?”
“It wasn’t really that kind of a meeting,” she began, “It was more for my
conscience and peace-of-mind… What’s happened between he and I over the years
has ultimately led me to having sought that moment- I didn’t even know that he
still lived there! It was really just a stroke of luck finding him. Honestly, I
didn’t know what to expect when I showed up on his doorstep in the middle of
the night. Alice, I didn’t even know what to say!”
“And?”
“And I cried,” she told her with a toss of her hands, “We yelled at each other
and I sobbed for how I had treated him so many years prior. I told him how much
of a mistake it had been that I married James… I know how much of a blunder it
was now.”
The expression that Alice wore was grim, though she remained silent, allowing
her friend to continue in her recanting of the past day’s events.
“You’re right, he’s a Death Eater,” Lily continued, “I saw the Dark Mark with
my own eyes. But he’s still the same man I knew from school, still the same
person I thought of as my ‘best friend’ at the end of the day. It was strange,
but it was almost like we were able to somehow pick up right where we left off,
as if there was no time lost. He forgave me, and I him.”
“But he still works for the Dark Lord…?”
Lily took a sip of her tea, “For the time being,” she admitted, “Though I
wouldn’t be surprised if he considered switching sides.”
“Lily, come on!” Alice exclaimed, throwing her hands up, “That’s like saying
Frank would stop being an Auror tomorrow, and overnight decide to become a
Wandmaker! Severus Snape made a vow to You-Know-Who if he wears the Dark Mark,
and Death Eater’s don’t change sides… How can you be so sure that he's any
different?” She studied the expression that briefly came over Lily’s face, her
cheeks reddening ever so slightly in a faint blush as she continued sipping her
tea. “You didn’t sleep with him-?"
“Alice!”
“Merlin’s beard, Lily!” Alice cried, “What were you thinking?!”
“The same thing that I thought on the night when I told James that I couldn’t
pretend to love him anymore,” she said slowly and quietly, eyes staring into
the roaring fire, “I screwed up my whole life because I thought that I could
push Sev into abandoning the Dark Arts and the likes of Avery and Mulciber… I
had hoped that by appearing indifferent that I might persuade him into living a
life not unlike that of you and Frank. But my childish actions pushed someone I
cared about above all others into doing exactly the opposite of what I wished.”
Lily paused, eyes meeting those of her friend at last, “Alice, I drove him down
this path… I can’t just walk away from him again.”
“Lily, you can’t blame yourself.”
“I can,” she laughed, the sound haunting and full of sorrow, “I loved him and I
abandoned him. I was no different than all the others who had forgotten him and
turned him away over the years. Sev was a brilliant student with so much
promise, and rather than being rewarded for his abilities, he was bullied by
the likes of James and Sirius.”
“But he didn’t want your help… He called you- “
“A Mudblood, I know. I’ve heard it from James, and now from you. I am well
aware. But believe me when I say I haven’t forgotten that moment- And I
understand that he can’t take it back. I know that what he said wasn’t remotely
right! There are times when I feel like I’ve finally gotten over it, and
suddenly the memory hits me again. I haven’t been able to truly shake the
feeling of being lashed out at by someone I considered my closest friend in the
world… But I can also understand that everyone makes mistakes, and everyone has
a breaking point. The Marauders bullied Severus mercilessly, and he was bound
to react eventually… Unfortunately, I caught the brunt of it. But I was not
entirely innocent myself. I have only myself to blame when it came to my own
pride at rejecting his apology, at ignoring his efforts to remain in my life.”
Alice moved closer to her friend, taking Lily’s tea cup and setting it upon the
coffee table beside her own. She then hugged her, remaining silent for a long
while. Lily held onto her, tears silently spilling from her eyes. “Lily, I
won’t tell anyone your secret. I just want you to be careful… I won’t even tell
Frank.”
“I love him, Alice,” Lily whispered, wiping her eyes.
“Then I will hope with you that he somehow sees the light and recognizes the
value of fighting alongside us, versus the evil, poisonous rhetoric spouted by
You-Know-Who.”
“James will never accept him.”
“No, he won’t,” Alice laughed, “But others should see the benefit of his
desertion if he defects as you suspect he may,” she paused, “I should also tell
you; Frank has said that James hasn’t told anyone about your divorce… He merely
claims you needed some time away from Godric's Hollow and desired my company,
as well as the quickened pace of the city.”
“I’m not surprised,” Lily muttered, “Oh well… How are you feeling?”
“Better,” she smiled, “The morning sickness is still unbearable and keeping me
out of the office- Which I can’t stand. Unfortunately, it only means longer
hours for Frank, but he doesn't seem to mind, and dotes on me so… How did I
ever get so lucky?”
Lily’s eyes fell on the stomach of her dear friend, the signs of Alice's
pregnancy still concealed due to the early stages of her condition. It had
scarcely been a month since discovering that she and Frank would be having a
baby. There had been fear and questioning by both in regards to the correct
timing of such an event- Especially considering the continuing strength of the
Dark Lord and his increasing numbers that seemed to grow with every day. But no
time would be the perfect time, and both had embraced the idea of becoming
parents with full hearts. The worst change to their situation was that
pregnancy had not been easy for Alice, the side effects of severe morning
sickness having been rather debilitating. The added addition of Lily beneath
the Longbottom’s roof had been a welcome change, with Alice having been forced
to take an extended leave of absence from her position as an Auror.
“Is it strange that I can’t stop thinking about him?” Lily asked after
finishing her cup of tea.
“No,” Alice smiled, “Have you looked out at the moon tonight?”
Lily gave a questioning look to her friend, eventually shaking her head, “No.”
“Frank’s always told me that when I feel lonely I should go and look at the
moon. He's always said to do that, because no matter the distance between us,
he’ll be out there somewhere looking up at it too... And thinking about me.”
It was late that evening when Frank Longbottom finally returned to his home
from his office at the Ministry of Magic. By that time, Lily had retired to her
own bedroom on the second floor, leaving the couple some much needed alone time
to catch up, and privately revel in one-another’s company. She dressed in a
white T-shirt and pair of cotton pajama shorts, brushing out her long auburn
hair, and then washing her face with cool water from the basin situated atop
the chest of drawers. She folded the blankets to her bed back, and just before
climbing in paused. She stared at the unslept in sheets, and then slowly moved
to the window across the room. Leaning her brow against the coolness of the
glass of the windowpane, she glanced up and out over the shadowy trees lining
the outside street. Perched high in the sky, surrounded by stars, was the moon.
Chapter End Notes
     Song for this chapter:
     Ticket_To_The_Moon_-_Electric_Light_Orchestra
***** A Dark Meeting *****
Chapter Summary
     Severus is summoned. The plot thickens...
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
        “When you stare into the abyss, the abyss stares back at you.”
                             -Friedrich Nietzsche
                                    [moon]
He had hated watching her leave.
As dusk had fallen all around them, Severus had found the aspect of being
parted from Lily unbearable. She had to leave, that much they both understood.
It seemed unfair though, finally finding one-another and then being forced
apart with the rise of the moon. He had never imagined that she would once
again walk into his life, let alone that she would reveal such profound
feelings towards him. It had left him reeling, faced with far more questions
than answers. He had been unable to resist her, unwilling to deny her or
himself any longer. They had made love, and not just once. It had been nothing
short of unyielding and intense, both of them clinging to the other and letting
go of any past inhibitions. He had tried to seem unfazed by her departure,
though inside it was leaving him breathless and full of anxiety. She had donned
the black cloak and taken the back steps into the abandoned garden behind the
house. He had snuck a glimpse through the window only once, certain that she
did not see him watching her go. When he next peeked through the glass she was
gone, the night closing in, the moon casting its lonely glow.
Severus had planned on his routine and usual monotonous work to overpower the
effect that Lily had had on him. Though her visit had been brief, her presence
was not so easily forgotten, and Severus found himself seeing her virtually
everywhere he looked. Even when he closed his eyes to attempt sleep, she
greeted him from behind his eyelids, her green eyes staring with unmistakable
desire and love. He felt like a lovesick fool. Somehow he had allowed her to
consume him so completely, in so little time. But she was unlike anyone he had
ever met. She had surprised him in so many ways upon their reunion… First her
presence all together. Mostly her revelation about leaving James Potter because
she had finally realized how much she had loved him all along. Him. He could
hardly believe her words. If only it had been before all that had transpired,
before he had sworn an oath to the Dark Lord.
He had expected her to shy away from his Dark Mark, the symbol of his
dedication and allegiance to the rebel cause. The brand was as imposing a
tattoo, as it was severe in style. The skull with the coiling serpent was
supposed to generate ominous feelings of fear and supremacy when it came to the
Death Eaters. After all, their master was the Heir of Salazar Slytherin. But
Lily had been curious about it. If she had felt disgust or dread at seeing it
blazed upon the inside of his left forearm, she hadn’t shown it. No, she had
done something Severus had thought impossible- She had actually kissed it.
“They would kill me if they knew,” he had spoken aloud, shaking his head
knowingly, “If only she hadn’t walked back into my life after all that’s
transpired… After all that I’ve worked for, and all that I've done."
He’d give it all up if it meant a life with her.
But it wouldn’t be easy or simple. He didn’t even truly know what it was that
he wanted. He felt as though his whole world had suddenly shifted, spiraling
out of control. Lily had sworn that the Order of the Phoenix would protect him
if he selected to defect- He had almost laughed. The Dark Lord would never
allow it. Severus knew that he wouldn’t survive such a transgression. None who
had ever sought an escape from the ranks of his rebel army had ever lived to
see the dawn of a new day. There had been few who had ever tried.
He would do it for Lily. He would give everything up for her.
“You lovesick fool,” he sighed.
The days passed without much consequence, with Severus returning to his normal
meanderings about the rundown house on Spinner’s End; his nights filled with
haunting dreams of a fair lady with almond-shaped green eyes and long auburn
hair. He was almost certain that he had imagined the smell of her lingering
presence upon his sheets. He had to see her again, there was no question. But
how could he contact her without fear of discovery from either her allies in
the Order, or his amongst the Death Eaters? As he found himself consumed in
constructing some flawless plan for them to once again rendezvous at a
specified location, he felt a searing warmth crawl across his skin. Pulling
back the sleeve of his black robes, he gazed down at the serpentine etching
upon his left arm, the black ink burning darker into his flesh with the
summoning of their master. Rising from his seat in the dusty living room he
fetched his mask from its secret place within a hollowed book. Donning it over
his face, he pulled on his cloak, the hood concealing his hair and any
uncovered skin from view. He clutched his wand firmly in his right hand,
closing his eyes to the world around him.
He envisioned the immense stone manor, intricate front gate of bended iron,
luscious grounds, and lights illuminating every window from the manicured
walkways below. A light wind blew cold from the north, stray leaves twisting
and turning in a powerful gust. There was the distinctive ‘pop,’ and Severus
found himself traveling in much the same way as Lily had when leaving Cokeworth
behind. When he next opened his eyes, he found himself standing very much alone
before the grand expanse of the Malfoy Manor; residence of his colleague in
operations to the Dark Lord, Lucius Malfoy. Clenching his jaw, Severus moved
slowly up the front steps and to the door, rapping upon it with the intricate
chrome knocker bolted into its immaculate and unblemished surface. It took the
shape of a snake, very like the sigil of Slytherin House, something not
uncommon amongst the Pure-Blood elite of the magical world. It was only mere
moments before the door opened, bright yellow light flooding the exterior steps
and the Death Eater standing alone. A house elf dressed in shabby rags had been
sent forth to greet the expected guest, stepping aside with a flinch as Severus
entered the space.
The interior of the Malfoy Manor never achieved anything less than looks of
wonder and awe. There was no denying the wealth of such a long-lined family,
and the Malfoy’s enjoyed flaunting their possessions and prosperity at every
turn. There was nothing that ever looked amiss or unworthy of such placement in
such a grand house. Furnishings and tapestries were nothing short of
intricately carved and detailed, plush and luxurious. Chrome snakes glittered
throughout the expanse, smoothly integrated into much of the surrounding décor.
Whether from chandeliers, candlesticks, portrait frames, or even paperweights,
the Malfoy’s were proud of their long line of ancestry supporting one of the
great founders at Hogwarts, Salazar Slytherin.
“Very punctual, Severus,” the smooth and droning voice of Lucius Malfoy
greeted.
Severus had scarcely noticed that he had arrived within the study of his fellow
Death Eater. The house elf quickly retreated out of sight, closing the door
behind it to allow the pair of wizard’s their necessary privacy. Lucius Malfoy
stood tall with an air of unmistaken entitlement. He was older than Severus, he
had been a Prefect when the awkward boy with lanky black hair had first been
sorted into Slytherin House so many years prior. He, himself, had long and
straight slivery-blonde hair, was very clean-shaven, and wore impeccably
tailored and expensive robes of solid onyx. His eyes were grey, his wand carved
from dark elm, and concealed within a snake-headed walking stick; the serpent’s
eyes a pair of glittering emeralds.
“Where are the others?”
“We are waiting on Bellatrix,” Lucius answered, his fingers interlaced and
resting upon the chrome snake-head, “The Dark Lord has asked for only the three
of us this evening.”
His words did nothing outwardly for Severus, though he felt his stomach roll
with unease at the thought of his tryst with Lily having been discovered so
quickly. No, it had to be something else. Worrying would only leave a door for
them to pry at- A trace of something unusual if they were to discern a sudden
weakness seeping into his every bone. He had stood stoically, his mask
remaining firmly in place, his eyes unwavering from Lucius’ stare as they
awaited the arrival of their third. The ‘pop’ had been inaudible from the
confines of the study, though the echoing and maniacal female laughter was
heard long before Bellatrix joined them.
“Off with you, filth!” she spat at the house elf, upon joining Lucius and
Severus, the creature nearly tumbling over itself in an effort to escape from
the frightening woman it had escorted, “Pardons my delay, gents. How fares my
lovely Cissy?”
Lucius breathed in slowly, “Your sister is well. She is resting in her rooms
while we see to our task at hand… The child within her grows steadily.”
“Her dream come true,” Bellatrix mocked, her voice heightening in pitch.
She was shorter than either man, rounder of build, with frizzy dark brown hair.
Her eyes were hooded and somewhat bulged in appearance, her robes were black
like those worn by the others. She had come without her Death Eater mask, her
wand held casually in hand.
“Shall we?” Lucius inquired to his guests after an awkward moment of silence
had fallen between them, “We don’t want to keep the Dark Lord waiting.”
“Why’d you wear your mask, Snape?” Bellatrix asked, “Afraid we’d all die of
fright when forced to look at your ugly face?” she cackled in that same laugh
from earlier.
“You’d do well to conduct yourself properly in my house, Bellatrix Lestrange,”
Lucius reprimanded his sister-in-law through tightly gritted teeth.
“Beg your pardons, Mister Malfoy,” she smiled sarcastically in her sing-song
voice, bending in a mock curtsey and nodding her pretense to Severus.
Severus and Lucius met each other’s annoyed glances, with the younger
eventually nodding in agreement that they continue to their place of meeting
with the Dark Lord. Without a further word, the silvery-blonde master of Malfoy
Manor turned and led the way from his personal study to the main sitting room
of the house. A fire roared within the intricate and grand fireplace, a single
high-backed chair positioned before the glittering red and orange flames. When
they were twenty feet from the chair, a ‘hiss’ was heard loudly, echoing
throughout the space, a large green snake uncoiling from its place on the chair
and slipping down onto the cool parquet flooring that filled the space. None of
the three Death Eaters flinched or acknowledged the impressive beast, allowing
it to explore the room as it best saw fit- They knew not to fear their master’s
pet, lest it was set upon them.
“My three lieutenants,” a high-pitched, though nearly whispered voice spoke.
“Master,” they all stated in response.
“We must make to proceed with the next step of my plan if we are expected to
overrun the Ministry by this time next year. You three are my most trusted
servants, and all of our plots and schemes rely upon how you proceed with this
next phase.”
“We are ready, Master,” Bellatrix spoke for all three, kneeling before the back
of the chair.
There was a rustling and then the hidden figure rose. Long black robes, and
pale white skin. A remarkable contrast against the continuously licking flames
of the fireplace. He was a tall and imposing figure, lean of build, with a
perfectly round and bald head. Just one look was all that it took to strike
fear amongst his supporters, but for his lieutenants, this was something they
had become- Certainly not comfortable with, but at least used to. His eyes were
blood red, his nose resembling that of a snake rather than a man- Two sharp
black slits, and very thin lips that concealed sharply angled teeth. He did not
immediately meet their eyes, his own attention focused upon the wand in his
right hand. He studied the weight and feel, the familiar balance of the
instrument. It was constructed of pale yew with a bone handle… Phoenix feather
core. When he finally lifted his gaze to look searchingly from each member of
his most trusted council in turn, his eyes still held that remotely dreamlike
look.
“I have three very important tasks that I wish to entrust each of you with,”
Voldemort continued evenly, “First Lucius, you will utilize your position
within the Ministry to continue in observation of the Minister of Magic and
those closest to him. We need to know what they are planning, when they are
most vulnerable, and who is of most importance amongst the ranks of their
Aurors and Security." Lucius nodded a silent affirmation, and Voldermort
proceeded, "Second, Bellatrix- “
She beamed widely in the attention bestowed from the powerful wizard before
her, remaining bowed before him, whilst her other two companions stood up
straight at full height.
“For you I wish the continued training and surveillance amongst our recruits
and your fellow Death Eaters. We must assure those who wish to join in our
cause that they are dedicating themselves to the powerful future of our magical
world. We must also focus upon abilities, as well as blood purification.”
“Master?” she questioned, brow furrowing.
“While we still aim for the cleansing of our race, I feel that we must also
acknowledge the value in members amongst our numbers that excel at various
forms of magic. Dark Arts, Potions, Transfiguration… Animagi would be a most
valuable addition. Those who are not descended from pure magical bloodlines
need not feel alienated when wishing to be a part of something so great as our
movement!” he paused, a grotesque expression resembling a smirk coming over his
lips, “Besides, once we have succeeded in overthrowing the farce that is our
current Ministry of Magic, and the poor-excuse of an institution, Hogwarts
School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, we need only reveal our truest intentions…
Servitude of those lesser members, a worthy reward for their efforts!”
She beamed at him, nodding with excitement.
“We will prepare a list of various individuals from our world which may fit
into probable recruitment- So long as the damned Order of the Phoenix has not
reached them first… You are to proceed accordingly, adding strength to our
already impressive numbers, and guidance to those on upcoming missions and
encounters. You may also enlist the assistance of your husband, Rodolphus.”
“Yes, Master. Thank you, Master.”
“And as for my most dedicated lieutenant,” the Dark Lord continued, stepping
past the kneeling woman and before the still masked Death Eater, “Severus, I
have an exceedingly important task that I can entrust only to you.”
Lucius and Bellatrix frowned, exchanging mutual looks of irritation at the
confidence of their master to the youngest member of the inner council.
“Leave us,” Voldemort told them, “What I have to say can only be heard by
Severus’ ears.”
Lucius extended his hand to his sister-in-law, helping her to her feet. The two
then made their way to the door of the chamber, lingering for a moment as they
looked back in curiosity at their master and Severus Snape.
“If I need say it again, I will take both of your ears,” Voldemort told them
with a hiss very similar to that of his pet, still slithering throughout the
room. When they had been left alone, the Dark Lord waved his wand in the
direction of the door, a silent enchantment assuring that their conversation
would remain private- Between only the two of them and the gargantuan snake.
Severus only then removed the mask which covered his face, his features stoic
and unmoving as he met the crimson stare of the powerful wizard before him, “I
am honored for your confidence, master.”
“You have proven yourself time and time again throughout the years… Lucius and
Bellatrix are steadfast in their loyalty and convictions to our cause, though
you are something of far more value. You are not unlike myself. Both of us are
not so lucky as to share the bond of my other lieutenants; they are Pure-
Bloods. You and I are not so filthy as to call ourselves Muggle-born, though we
both find mutual hatred when it comes to the unworthiness of our fathers.
Through your mother, blood no different in ancestry than that of the Malfoy’s
or the Black’s, flows. The same goes for myself. My mother, who gave me life,
also gave me the connection to my ancestor, the great Salazar Slytherin. It was
through that connection that I first learned why our movement was of such
importance. We must persevere! We must fight to keep the purity!”
Severus nodded, the words not completely unheard before.
“I knew that it was time to take a stand when I was denied the right- The honor
of teaching at Hogwarts. Dumbledore knows not the things I have seen, the
things I have learned from my travels and studies over the years. To understand
Defense Against the Dark Arts, one must learn the Dark Arts! How could anyone
expect us to defend ourselves competently without first truly understanding
what it is that we face?! He’s a fool, a mad old fool. This war, this struggle,
it’s all Dumbledore’s doing. He thinks he has the backbone to deny me? He will
fail. He will fail, as so many others already have when trying to stand up and
tell me otherwise. This is why I can trust only you, Severus.”
Again, Severus did not speak. He merely continued staring, his features
unchanged as he waited for Voldemort to proceed.
The Dark Lord turned abruptly from his lieutenant, pacing the room whilst
examining his wand once more, “You will leave your shabby existence in
Cokeworth at the end of the next moon cycle. I have procured the necessary
arrangements for you to travel abroad.”
“And where am I going?”
A sinister smile spread across the thin white lips, “You are to spy on Albus
Dumbledore.”
The words failed to fully penetrate the young man, and Severus found himself
shifting from first his left foot, to his right, and then back.
“It is a momentous task, yes,” Voldemort continued, “But one of absolute
necessity. I am certain that it is he who leads the Order of the Phoenix. It
was he who denied me the teaching post, so it must be Dumbledore who is trying
to organize an opposition to stand against our most noble cause. I wish for you
to find out for certain his rank within the Order, as well as anything else of
importance that might arise. I would not give such a task to anyone else… You
are to not return until you have learned where his loyalties truly lie, or
anything else of immense value. I assure you that you will be rewarded greatly
for this personal service to me.”
Lily. He’ll be taking me away from Lily.
As quickly as the thought entered his mind, he used practiced Occlumency to
force everything blank. Those were the kinds of thoughts he couldn’t afford,
and in a position such as this, face-to-face with arguably the most dangerous
Dark Wizard of recent ages. Severus could not risk the skilled Legilimency that
Voldemort was infamous for- One moment of relaxed thought could, and would,
most certainly be his last. He would have a month before the Dark Lord expected
him to proceed with his portion of the plan. A month to decide how he would
proceed, and whether he could afford to reveal any of his secret mission to
Lily.
“Can I expect your loyalty?”
Severus lowered himself before the immense evil that stood before him, lowered
upon bended knee, head bent in respect, “Yes, Master.”
Chapter End Notes
     Oh man, what will happen next?! AHHH!!!
     Song for this chapter- A personal favorite. ;)
     Zombie_-_The_Cranberries
***** The Black Owl *****
Chapter Summary
     Lily resumes her usual routine. But she finds it hard to keep her
     mind on task when her heart is so full.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
    “Nobody has ever measured, not even poets, how much the heart can hold”
                               -Zelda Fitzgerald
                                   [letters]

Mid_December_of_1979

Being parted from Severus had proved itself just as maddening for Lily. She
immersed herself with work for the Order of the Phoenix, attended necessary
meetings, and so on. For the most part she lazed about the Longbottom’s home in
London with Alice, the two young women relishing in their friendship and
familiarity. There had been numerous occasions where they would stay up late
into the night whispering before the fire, the coals nearly snuffed out with
the hour. On two separate instances, Frank walked into the living room to join
them only to be greeted by an awkward silence and watchful eyes.
“This is my house too!” he had exclaimed, not entirely upset by their
closeness, “I think you might be surprised by my ability to keep secrets.”
“Is that so?” Alice had teased, “Would you like to join our conversation?”
“I might,” he smiled, both hands cradling a hot cup of tea, “It all depends on-
“
“Boys,” Alice interrupted, “We’re talking about boys.”
Frank Longbottom cleared his throat awkwardly, sipping his steaming tea, “I’m
afraid I wouldn’t have much to add… I hope you are speaking in regards to Lily,
and not yourself at least.”
Alice blushed deeply, whilst Lily giggled. Frank straightened a little in his
seat, a smug smile playing at the corners of his lips. It was much the same
every evening in the comfortable home situated on a quiet street in London.
With every day the weather seemed to grow cooler, and more leaves continued to
fall. Winter was approaching, and with it a deep chill. The cold was not only
in regards to the change of the seasons, no, it was with the uncomfortable lull
in the Dark Lord’s usual activities. For some time, ‘The Daily Prophet’ seemed
silent to his recent movements and those of his Death Eaters and chief
lieutenants. Nobody had been seen preaching their dark supremacist views for
over a week… It left the magical world treading on eggshells, feeling as though
any moment might prove the sudden resurgence of their rebel cause. The Order of
the Phoenix had sought to learn what had caused the unexpected silence, but
their efforts had proven futile. No matter where they looked, who they spoke
to, there was no sign of any of the purported characters that made up the ranks
of You-Know-Who’s army.
“Someone must know something!” James Potter had exclaimed one meeting, his fist
slamming down hard against the wooden table the members were all seated around.
“Very astute,” Lily had murmured, rolling her eyes.
Her ex-husband had glared at her, opening his mouth to retort, but closing it
promptly with the nudge of his best friend, Sirius Black.
“They have all but vanished, and that is a very dangerous development,” Frank
had stated, “Kingsley and I have searched high and low for any hint of their
possible whereabouts and everything has come up empty.”
James stared angrily at Lily, his look conveying to her that he suspected she
had gone to seek Severus after their argument on the fateful night that their
marriage had ended.
“Mister Potter, if you have something to say, I suggest you say it,” she
addressed him calmly.
The awkwardness surrounding them had been thick enough to cut with a knife. Not
a member present spoke, all eyes fixated upon the Potters. After some time had
passed, James sighed, shaking his head. The meeting had not lasted much longer.
Lily had rose from her seat wordlessly, gathering up her notepad and a few
other items into the bag she wore over her left shoulder. She had walked right
past James, despite his opened mouth in a move to converse her in some mundane
conversation. She caught up to Frank, and the pair prepared to Aparate together
back to the house and Alice. Though often unable to attend, Alice was
determined to hear every detail of the meetings that her husband and best
friend frequented. Before they had been able to vanish from the meeting space,
a hand had caught Lily’s arm right above the left elbow. She whirled around and
found herself face-to-face with Sirius Black. He had always been handsome,
suave in his own way, with wavy jet-black hair and a well-kept goatee.
“May I have a word?” he asked her, “It’ll only take a short moment of your
time, I promise.”
Lily exchanged a look with Frank, and he nodded that he would wait for her.
Sirius offered his arm, and Lily took it. He then led her away from the bustle
surrounding the other members of the Order, and into a quiet alcove. “James is
a wreck.”
“And that’s my problem, how?”
“Lily, please…” Sirius sighed, “I don’t know what’s going on between the two of
you, but I’ve never seen him like this before. He’s not himself. I’m certain
he’ll make a fool of himself before too long as well. You have to talk to him.
You have to go home.”
“With all due respect, you don’t have a fucking clue,” Lily told him, “Sirius,
I don’t have to do anything. James has to grow up and start realizing that
people change. Feelings change.”
“You know James though,” he continued with a grim smile, “I don’t doubt he did
something foolish. He can be a downright bastard when he wants too, and I know
that. But he also realizes that he fucked up… Whatever it is he did. Just think
about it, ok? I know you don’t have to do anything that you don’t want to, but
think. Do you really want to spend forever living in the Longbottom’s guest
room? James would have you come home. He loves you.”
“Ok,” Lily told him, “I’ll weigh my options.”
In your dreams James Potter, in your dreams.
Sirius had nodded with politeness, content with her answer, though Lily knew
that he would certainly understand that something was far more amiss than
previous due to her responses. He had led her back to Frank, graciously bowing
his farewell to them before returning to James’ side.
“What was that all about?” Frank questioned through gritted teeth.
“I’ll tell you when we get back to Alice.”
===============================================================================
“Sending his friends to weasel information out of you, is he?! What an
imbecile!” Alice had cried at hearing the details of the conversation between
Lily and Sirius.
“It’s like I’ve told the two of you,” Frank added, “I don’t believe James has
shared any of the actual details of your divorce with anyone… He might be
hoping that it’s just a rough patch.”
“It’s a bit beyond just a ‘rough patch,’” Lily sighed, “Why can’t he just stop
all of this juvenile perseverance? It’s not like it’s going to work!”
“Have you told him?”
“I divorced him!”
“Listen,” Alice stated, her husband and best friend turning to look at her, “We
all know how James is… It’s going to take some time. And we can’t blame him for
hoping that he somehow might be able to change your mind. Yes, Lily! You’re
both stubborn, and you can’t deny that. It doesn’t matter that you’ve moved on-
Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy for you! But you can’t just expect James to
forget all about you overnight. It would be easy if he did, but you can’t deny
that his actions are not entirely shocking.”
She frowned.
“And you did make a pointed jab at him tonight…” Frank added.
Lily narrowed her eyes at the lone male presence, Alice’s attention snapped to
the words of her husband, “How so?”
“She mocked him at the table and then called him out after I had attempted to
divert the conversation back to actual operations regarding the Order of the
Phoenix.”
“I didn’t mock him!”
“Lily, you know you did,” Frank smiled, kindly.
Lily opened her mouth to respond, but the sound of a beak against the nearby
window drew the attention of all three wizards. Each was on their feet with
wand drawn in the direction of the sound, Frank taking the lead as he slowly
shifted the curtain back. A black owl sat perched on the sill, its yellow eyes
glowing in the darkness. Looking down at the ledge it stood perched upon, he
found a letter attached to its leg. Frank opened the window and removed the
parcel, the owl flying silently away, engulfed in the darkness.
“What is it?” Alice asked, brow furrowed, “It’s a strange hour to receive
mail…”
“It’s for Lily,” he said slowly, eyes meeting that of their guest, his arm
outstretched, the envelope extended in her direction.
Lily could feel Alice’s eyes staring holes into her as she took the letter,
turning it over in her hands, and examining the exterior with careful
watchfulness.
“Well? Is there anything on it?”
“No,” she said softly, “It’s blank except for just my first name on the front.”
“Do you recognize the handwriting?” Frank pressed, standing at her shoulder.
Lily shook her head, “No.”
“Look at the three of us fearing over a silly envelope!” Alice laughed, “We
have no reason to believe the Death Eaters know where we live, let alone if
they even suspect us as being members of the Order!”
“One can never be too careful, dear.”
Lily remained silent, fixated on the cream colored envelope. With a deep breath
she ran her fingernail beneath the seal on the back. She half expected
something to happen, but nothing did. She exhaled sharply, eyes still
expressing confusion as she pulled the parchment free.
Where green the land
The trees do grow.
Our summers once planned
Have turned to snow.
A sea of dew-
Flowers and the buzzing bee.
I need you…
Come away with me.
“Well, Lily?” Alice probed, “What is it? What does it say?”
Lily could feel her fingers trembling as she read over the poem a third, and
then fourth time. She tried with all of her might to refrain from smiling like
a teenager, words escaping her altogether.
“I’m going to go get ready for bed,” Frank stated, sensing the need for the two
women to be alone, the danger momentarily kept at bay, and retreated from the
room.
“I won’t be long,” Alice called after him, rising to her feet and moving beside
Lily to peer at the curious parchment. “Lily!” she exclaimed with delight after
her husband was out of earshot, “Oh, Lily! Do you think it’s from him?!”
She bit her lower lip, catching the excited gaze of her friend and then giggled
like a love-struck schoolgirl. She nodded, and the pair threw their arms around
each other in an embrace of mutual happiness.
“A poet…” Alice smiled, “Who would’ve thought a Death Eater would have such a
way with words! You must have really made a memorable impression.”
“Alice!”
“Are you going to meet him?”
“I think I must.”
“He didn’t tell you where though-? Is it written on the back perhaps?”
Lily placed the parchment back into the envelope without searching its reverse,
“There’s no need, he said it all in the poem.”
Before Alice had a chance to ask for more details, there was a thunderous
knocking upon the front door. Both women jumped, turning in the direction of
the noise, wands pulled defensively. Frank came bounding down the stairs,
skipping every third one, wearing his plaid pajama pants and a white T-shirt.
His wand was also pulled as he went to the door in cool inquiry.
“Frank?” Alice questioned, taking a nervous step towards her husband.
“Merlin’s beard…” he muttered, unlatching the door and disappearing for a short
moment before shoving two other wizards inside. “… The racket you’re making!”
Frank shouted, “Anyone could have heard you out there! You’d put my wife and
unborn child at risk?!”
“Frank, I tried to pull him away, I really did…” Sirius attempted to explain,
“I’m sorry! We’re sorry, isn’t that right, James?”
Lily and Alice lowered their wands, placing them once more in the confines of
their robes as they watched from the doorway opposite the commotion. Sirius
looked genuinely apologetic, and James looked inebriated. It was only moments
before he saw her watching them and made to reach her.
“Lily! My Lily… Please… Please come back! Lily, Lily… I love you, Lily. I’m
sorry.”
Sirius reached a hand out to pull his best friend back, but James shook it off
in apparent disgust, nearly toppling over from the quickness of motion, “Get
off of me, Padfoot!”
“Mate, we need to go.”
“She’ll listen to me this time- Just you wait and see…”
“No, you need to listen to me!” Lily shouted, stepping into the foyer of the
house and past Frank to the drunken mess that resembled her ex-husband, “Get
out, James. You’re drunk and acting a complete mess.”
“Lily, Lily…”
“Stop it, James,” she sighed, “Go with Sirius.”
“What’s that-?” he questioned, and with horror, Lily realized that she was
still holding the envelope that had only just been delivered, in her hand. The
change was quick, but the once apologetic drunk transformed at once with all-
consuming jealousy. “Did you find him then?” he spat, “Did you let him fuck
you?”
“That’s quite enough-!” Frank interjected, stepping between the pair, Sirius
taking hold of James by the back of his robes in an attempt to restrain him.
“You refuse to fuck me for months, and then just give in the minute someone new
asks you to spread your legs for him?!”
The sound of Lily’s open palm striking James’ left cheek echoed through the
silence that filled the front room of the Longbottom’s house. She was shaking
with rage, her hand tingling from the impact it had just made against the face
of a man she had once thought she might learn to love. Alice stood wide-eyed,
and Frank moved a protective arm in front of Lily as he stepped forward and
between the pair. Sirius retained his hold on James, his eyes equally wide from
the shock of Lily’s slap.
“Bitch… Nothing but a bitch.”
“Get him out of here, Sirius, before I’m forced to do it,” Frank seethed, his
wand mere inches from James Potter’s face.
As soon as the unannounced pair had appeared, the door shut once more. Lily was
alone again with Frank and Alice Longbottom, safe in their home on the quiet
lane. She would not let him steal her happiness... No matter how he might try.
Frank placed a gentle hand on her shoulder, his look conveying nothing short of
reassurance that she was safe. He then climbed the stairs again, once more
leaving his wife and Lily to themselves. The look shared between Alice and Lily
was one of many things, though Lily thought she could detect pity when it came
to James' loathsome state. Perhaps Alice had been right... It would most
certainly take some time.
Chapter End Notes
     Comments and kudos to let me know you like what I'm writing!
      
     The next chapter will be posted tomorrow and I can hardly wait!
     Song of choice:
      
     Wait_For_Me_-_King_of_Leon
***** Forest of Dean *****
Chapter Summary
     Led by a poem; two lovers destined to meet again...
     Nothing could ever keep them apart.
     ♡
Chapter Notes
     A good long chapter.
     There is a quotation from this seventh chapter taken directly from
     the brilliant William Shakespeare in his famous play, A Midsummer
     Night's Dream.
See the end of the chapter for more notes
            “I desire the things that will destroy me in the end.”
                                 -Sylvia Plath
                                   [embrace]


Late_December_1979

The hills rolled luscious and green as far as the eye could see. The many
ancient trees stood sentry over the small and well-concealed camp. A lone tent
sat situated nearby to a slowly trickling brook, shaded in the morning and
evening, though alight from the warmth of the sun in the afternoon. The
solitary traveler had made use of every spell known to them in an attempt to
keep the location a secret, their presence unknown to anyone who might stumble
off the beaten path. Unsuspecting travelers would find nothing more than an
abandoned stretch of land, no sign of the sole inhabitant to the place, or
trace of their belongings. The concealment charms took care of hiding them from
all prying eyes and unwanted guests. Severus had come to the not unfamiliar
location, seeking time alone and away from the Death Eaters and house on
Spinner’s End. He had sought the Forest of Dean as a means to clear his head
and figure out how to proceed with both Voldemort’s instructions and a possible
future with Lily. He had scarcely been able to give his assignment any of its
deserved precedence- His mind fully occupied with Lily from dawn until dusk. He
had folded against his better judgment, cursing himself silently as he had
composed the poem late one afternoon, and sent his message to her under the
cover of darkness. But would she come? He positively ached for her.
You lovesick fool.
The morning after he had sent the black owl on its errand, he had felt a
growing sense of dread fill him from head to toe. He had been cryptic in the
meaning of his note… Part of him became convinced that she would have no idea
as to the identity of the sender, or of where he wished her to venture. How
could she even find the location? It was stupid of him to have contacted her in
the first place, and now he felt even more lost for his hopefulness of her ever
finding him. She would not answer him; she would have no way to know of his
location, nor would she be so prone to her emotions in writing him a reply. No,
Lily was always the wise one; she would remain silent. And so he had waited,
alone with his thoughts, and longing for her company and affections.
Would she want him again?
He stirred at the memory of her heated kisses and pointed desire, damning
himself for his weakness. She wouldn’t come. It was far too dangerous, and he
was a damned fool for suggesting as much, for actually thinking that she might
desire him still… It was nothing- It had meant nothing. He would have to
convince himself that it was all just a surge of two lonely people's emotions
that had transpired between them.
The ‘pop’ that sounded through the stillness of the forest had him spinning on
his heel, wand extended in anticipation for possible confrontation. He knew
himself to be concealed to passerby, but that did nothing for the adrenaline
that pounded through his veins. He had discarded his robes for a muted button-
up flannel shirt, grey trousers fastened with a black leather belt, and muddied
boots upon his feet. He had grown out a light beard since having seen Lily
last, the facial hair helping to disguise him for when he would set out on
Voldemort’s dark task. There was a chill to the air, the feel that snow would
fall any day. There was scarcely a week left to December… He didn’t have much
time until the Dark Lord would expect him to reach Hogsmeade and continue with
his part of the plan. He shook away his thoughts, focusing again on the magical
and unannounced presence near to his camp. He stepped to the edge of the
protection field that he had in place and watched silently, waiting like a
hunter for his prey.
Through the shadows of the ancient evergreens, a lone figure emerged. It wore a
long black cloak and black leather boots. He watched it, waiting for a glimpse
or hint as to the traveler’s identity. A turn to the right hit him like a blow
to the chest- Fair skin, entrancing emerald green eyes, and deep auburn curls.
Lily. She had actually come. She looked like a spirit of the forest in her
graceful movements, the embodiment of beauty and fearlessness. He stepped
through the invisible barrier with quiet footsteps, his unspoken approach
causing her to turn quickly with reply, her wand pointed, lips pursed. Soft
pink lips. She lowered her wand slowly when she realized that his was not
pointed at her, eyes softening with recognition of whom she faced. A smile
spread across her lips and she moved in his direction with renewed urgency.
Forgetting her self-control, she raced forward, the hood of her cloak flying
back and away from her hair as she closed the distance between them. He took a
few steps towards her, the spasm of a smile playing upon his lips as he felt
the happiness slowly move upward through the whole of his body, and almost
overwhelm him. She nearly leapt into his arms, her embrace filled with joy at
being reunited with him once more. He backed up with her in his arms, through
the magical barrier surrounding his little camp, one hand pressed to the small
of her back, the fingertips of his other woven through her hair, holding her
head gently to his chest.
“How did you find me?” he heard himself asking her.
“I knew it was the Forest of Dean,” she smiled, eyes meeting his, “Or at least
I had suspected it might be. As for finding you, well, I merely closed my eyes
and envisioned myself with you. How you might look, how you smell and feel…”
“It looks like it worked.”
She laughed, “I wish I could say that it was my first attempt… But yes,
eventually.”
His hand moved down from the silkiness of her hair, fingertips lightly tracing
the curve of her cheek and the softness of her skin. His dark eyes searched
hers, words evading him as he found himself lost in the green sea of her
almond-shaped eyes.
“I missed you,” she told him, the smile disappearing from her lips, head
leaning into his touch, “I was afraid that you might have forgotten- “
He kissed away the rest of her words, the trace of uncertainty plaguing both
her voice and her lovely features. She melted against him.
“Never,” he told her with utmost seriousness, “You are always on my mind- You
are always in my heart.” And as he spoke the last word he took her hand in his,
and pressed it to his chest and the beating heart beneath.
Lily had kissed him in response, her soft lips sending a searing want thorough
every bit of Severus’ body. When she had parted from him she smiled once more,
“Show me around your little camp… You’ve picked a lovely spot.”
The tour was not a long one, given the simplicity of his exterior supplies, and
then the obvious view of the surrounding terrain and details of the protective
enchantments guarding the space. He pulled aside the flap of the tent, an
unremarkable canvas structure, not unlike those utilized by muggles. The outer
appearance was one of wear and tear, however, Lily’s breath was taken away when
she crossed the threshold. Wizard camping certainly had its benefits in
comparison to the mere human tradition of ‘roughing it.’ No, the inside of the
tent while modest, was nothing short of a small cottage in decorum and
appearance. There was a small kitchen, a bathroom, a wood burning stove, a bed,
and small table with two chairs. It was quaint, though comfortable, and
surprisingly tidy… Much more so than the house on Spinner’s End.
“It’s nothing much,” he told her, “I rarely stay at the house in Cokeworth
anymore… It’s rather a shock you caught me there when you sought me out.
Usually I utilize this- “ and he motioned to the surrounding interior, “I know
it isn’t much, but it’s comfortable, and allows me the ease of moving from
place to place.”
So I can stay one step ahead of the Ministry of Magic and the cumbersome Order
of the Phoenix…
“I like it.”
“Really?”
“Yes,” she nodded, taking in all of the surrounding space, “It’s really all
that one needs, and it must be nice to travel wherever you want across the
country with so much ease.”
He nodded, and Lily unfastened her cloak, draping it over one arm as she
stepped further into the tent. She wore acid washed grey skinny jeans and a
green camisole beneath a cream colored cardigan.
“I wasn’t certain you’d come,” he told her, his voice sounding oddly quiet as
he stared at the floor, “I had hoped, but I wasn’t certain.”
“You couldn’t keep me away if you tried.”
“Why is that?”
She smiled kindly, “I think you know, Severus.”
The sound of her speaking his name sent a tingle of pleasure down his spine. It
was much the same as it had been throughout his youth. He longed to make her
happy, to prove himself worthy of her love. He felt like a lovesick fool again.
But as much as he loathed the feelings of weakness whenever in her presence and
the sensation of his strongly built walls, surrounding his long buried
emotions, crumbling into nothingness… He relished in this second chance at
happiness in a life that had been so full of hurt and darkness for so long.
Their evening meal had been modest, with Lily offering to do the cleanup whilst
Severus headed out to chop some kindling for their fire, and bring in a
generous stack of wood to sustain the warmth of the tent through the evening.
Though magically able to offer far more comforts than muggle camping, there was
still no heating or cooling available when it came to temperature within the
actual living space. With winter upon them, and the real possibility of snow,
it was important that they be well-prepared for the length of the bitter cold
evening.
“Sev?” Lily had called from the threshold of the tent into the surrounding
darkness, deep shadows spreading from the enormous trees surrounding them. She
hugged her arms around herself and shivered against the blustery wind that
tousled her red curls. A dark figure emerged from the blackness, and Lily
whispered, “Lumos,” the tip of her wand emitting a bright and glowing white
light.
He had a heavy stack of wood in his arms, “Lily, you’ll catch the death of cold
out here, go back inside.”
She led the way as they reentered the tent, the chill of wind coming with them,
as Severus dropped the wood into a pile beside the cast iron stove and made to
return for a final armful, “I’ll be right back, you can start the fire if you’d
like.”
When Severus next returned to the tent, he found a fire crackling away, the
interior already beginning to warm. It would be a miracle if they didn’t find
snow on the forest floor in the morning with the icy chill in the air.
“Is there a way that I can take a bath?” she asked him after he had secured the
flap against the cold, and brushed off his hands, “I didn’t see a tub or
shower.”
He nodded and waved his wand, an antique-looking claw foot tub appearing out of
thin air. He pointed his wand at it, and it slowly began filling with steaming
water, “I can busy myself in the kitchen or wait in the privy if you wish the
privacy to undress…”
“No, it’s alright,” she smiled, a blush crawling up her cheeks.
He stared at her for a long moment with surprise, and then nodded. He walked
past her and into the small kitchen space to brew a pot of tea. Lily followed
him with her eyes, rising from one of the little chairs at the table and moving
to the foot of the bed. She unbuttoned and removed her cardigan and then pulled
off her camisole. She unzipped her boots and slipped of her jeans, casting a
look over her shoulder to Severus as she stood in just her bra and panties. He
turned at that very moment as he made to reach a cabinet where cups were kept,
his eyes meeting hers, arm remaining frozen in an outstretched motion. She
smiled, blushing again, and then straightened, turning slightly from him as she
unclasped her bra and dropped it with the rest of her clothing, slipping her
underwear off shortly after.
Severus blinked twice, unable to divert his stare, and silently cursing himself
for his blatant lack of propriety. She had only just arrived and he was already
ogling her like she was nothing but a piece of meat. Lily stepped into the tub,
and he watched as the smoothness of her porcelain flesh slowly descended into
the steaming water. First her calves, the backs of her knees, and thighs. He
breathed sharply inward as he watched the curve of her backside slip beneath
the water, the slenderness of her waist and her back next, and only the
slightest fleeting, teasing, glimpse of the side of her left breast. He felt
himself stifle a groan as he forced himself to look away and continue
retrieving the cups from the cabinet. A relaxed sigh from the water made him
close his eyes in response, fighting his growing urge to act with his cock
rather than his mind.
“Sev?”
The sound of her voice saying his name brought about a fresh wave of memories;
every one of them involving him fucking her at the house on Spinner’s End. His
name had come so easily to her lips each of the times he had moved inside of
her, passion building, until she had nearly screamed it in the throes of her
ecstasy. He shook his head, trying desperately to remain level-headed, and
turned in the direction of the tub, “Hmmm?”
“Would you mind passing me my soap?” she smiled, her hair wet, the droplets
standing out upon her fair skin, “I left it over there.”
He licked his lips and nodded, watching as Lily turned her attention back to
the calming and heated water surrounding her. He set down the cups on the
counter, running his fingertips through his shoulder-length black hair in an
effort to focus.
You’re acting like a fucking moron.
He took a deep breath and unbuttoned his flannel shirt, standing in a black T-
shirt, feeling the need to cool off before he lost complete control. He dropped
the shirt on the floor beside Lily’s little pile of clothing, and picked up the
bar of soap she had gestured to, as well as a small bottle marked lavender oil.
When he turned he found himself momentarily glued to the spot. Lily had her
head resting against the white enamel coating of the tub, the nakedness of her
body submerged beneath the still steaming water. She looked stunningly
beautiful in her stripped state; no makeup, no perfume, no hair products… Just
her.
She opened her eyes and met his dark ones, “Thank you, Sev.”
He nodded, setting the small bottle of oil beside the tub and retaining the bar
of soap in hand. She looked questioningly at him, but he said nothing, merely
kneeling beside her. He emptied a few drops of the oil into the water,
instantly perfuming it, and then dipped his hands at the surface of the water.
He worked a rich lather from the bar of soap, Lily’s eyes moving from his hands
to his eyes in watchful silence. He nodded at her and she moved her wet hair
over one shoulder, sitting up so that he might wash her back; he moved around
her and began doing just that.
“Where have you been since we last saw each other?” she asked after a few
moments had passed.
“Mostly Cokeworth,” he told her, “And a few other places.”
“Oh?” she questioned, “I went back to London. I’m staying with friends; you
see… They’ve been kind enough to put me up since I really have nowhere else to
go. They’re good people, I think you’d like them very much.”
Severus said nothing, merely continuing in his motions of massaging her tight
muscles, and washing her skin.
“James and I got into a little spat…”
Severus stopped in his attentions at once, retracting his hands from her at the
mention of his rival’s name.
She looked over her shoulder at him, “Supposedly I provoked him,” she sighed,
“Though he acted an absolute bastard in response.”
“What did he do?”
“He accused me of being a whore. I think the precise phrasing was, ‘You refuse
to fuck me for months and then just give in the minute someone new asks you to
spread your legs for him?’”
Severus clenched his fist hard, the bar of soap popping out of it and making a
small splash as it hit the water and disappeared below the surface.
“He was immediately reprimanded- “
“Did you tell him about us?” he interrupted, eyes narrowed, “Does he know about
me?”
Lily swallowed, biting her lower lip, “The night I left him I had mentioned
that I ruined my life because I was too blind to see that I cared for you. I
didn’t tell him anything… I’ve scarcely seen him since I left Godric’s Hollow.
It’s only at Order meetings that our paths ever cross, and even then I do my
best to avoid him as much as possible.” Severus’ accusatory stare remained, “I
didn’t tell him anything! He was drunk, Sev! Everyone present thought he was
just raving in his usual jealous ways.”
“Did he mention me by name?”
“No,” Lily told him, her wet hand covering his own on the edge of the tub, “He
only alluded to you so that I understood whom he referred to. There was no way
that anyone else would know. And he doesn’t! He only suspects… I never agreed
or disagreed with his accusation.”
“I believe you,” he told her at long last, “I do not believe you would
purposefully betray me… But we both must be careful. Even in being here, lost
amongst the trees and forest, we put ourselves at risk from both sides.”
She nodded, sadly, turning away from him, “We certainly haven’t made this
easy.”
“Aye,” he nodded, “But ‘the course of true love never did run smooth.’”
Lily looked at him with surprise, “Shakespeare?”
He shrugged, and resumed his washing of her skin, moving from her shoulders
down her arms.
“I couldn’t stop thinking about you… All I ever dreamed about was when I could
be back in your arms again.”
“That’s nice of you,” he smirked.
She shot him a glare and splashed him playfully in response, eyes widening when
she realized how completely she had soaked him, his hair sticking to his face,
his T-shirt visibly wet. He raised an eyebrow at her, a small smile forming
over his lips as he shook his head and rose to his feet. He pulled off his
shirt, adding it to the pile of clothing on the floor, and then moved to
unfasten his belt and the fly of his pants.
“Scoot yourself over, it looks like I might as well clean myself up also.”
She shifted in the bath, diverting her eyes as Severus climbed into the still
warm tub, his knees sticking out of the water, the heels of his feet resting
beneath the sudsy top, on either side of Lily’s waist. Her eyes searched his
revealed form, much the same as she had remembered it. She felt herself
blushing, unable to conceal its darkening shade of red when he met her eyes
after wetting his hair. Reaching beneath the water she found the slick bar of
soap. Tucking her legs beneath her, she lathered the bar and moved forward to
work her sudsy palms over his shoulders and chest. His eyes closed to her
touch, his head leaning back in utter contentment at her attentions. Lily
washed his stomach, eyes falling to the place between his legs. She couldn’t
make anything out due to the layer of soap film upon the water’s surface,
though she found herself tingling with want, hot with desire.
“Did you think about me?” she heard herself ask, voice sounding very small.
He opened his eyes, hands finding her waist beneath the water, his voice was
low, “Every day. Being parted from you was absolute torture.”
She leaned forward and pressed a gentle kiss to his lips, “I love you.”
The force of which he kissed her surprised even himself in its urgency. It was
as though he were a drowning man seeking air, a dying man who craved life. He
urged her lips open, her teeth lightly catching his lower lip in their mutual
desire. He sighed, slipping his tongue into her mouth, arms encircling her as
water could be heard audibly splashing from the confines of the tub that they
shared.
“And I you,” he told her, eyes meeting hers briefly before kissing her again,
lips trailing down her jawline and then the smooth curve of her neck.
She gasped, fingers moving through his slick hair, “Sev, I can’t wait any
longer… I need you. I want you.”
Leading the way, he stood, pulling her up with him as the water cascaded off of
both their naked bodies, and into the claw footed tub they had only just been
seated in. With a wave of the nearest wand, two towels flew to the pair, and
they stepped onto the dampened floor and dried themselves, their hair remaining
moist from the water. Severus tied his towel about his waist, moving to check
on the fire and add an additional log, the interior of the tent a comfortable
temperature against the chill of the outside world. When he turned back around
he felt as though the air had been forced from his lungs. Lily reclined nude at
the foot of the bed, her legs bent at the knee, pressed together, her hands
bracing her form as she leaned just slightly back, her auburn hair a darker
shade of red in its still damp state, her breasts hanging with perfection,
nipples hardened to the exposed air. He heard himself groan, eyes searching
over her hungrily, cock twitching beneath the confines of the towel.
“Make love to me, Severus.”
Words he had dreamed of hearing her speak for as long as he could remember.
She sat up, hands moving slowly from her hips up the flatness of her stomach,
each cradling a breast before lightly pinching a nipple, fingertips tracing
around the inner curve of each breast before continuing up past her exposed
clavicle, and interlacing at the nape of her neck.
He exhaled, closing the distance between them and kneeling before her. She
looked down at him, smiling lovingly, as he swept his hands from her ankles to
the backs of both knees, pulling her so that her bottom was just past the edge
of the mattress, forcing her to fall back onto her back as he parted her
thighs, resting the back of each knee on a shoulder. She stared at him with
those entrancing green eyes, slightly wide with surprise, a pinkness at each
cheek from him exposing her so fully to himself. He forced his stare away from
her face, looking down at her most private of places, moaning at the sight of
her folds and opening.
“Sev...? I- Oh!” Lily stammered, falling back against the blankets.
He had cut off her questioning and insecurities with one swipe of his tongue.
The sound of her reaction bringing about a sly little grin and a notable throb
to his cock. He took a deep breath, filling his nose with the clean scent of
her skin intermingled with the musky scent of her arousal. He pressed a kiss to
the small bud of pleasure just above her opening, the light dusting of her
auburn curls before him soft to the touch. She moaned loudly, arms splayed to
either side, hands kneading at the blankets. With every little attention he
made, she gasped again and again in a building, heightened pleasure. Then,
suddenly, her thighs pressed inward as she rolled her hips upward for more
pressure. He held her at bay, one hand resting high upon the inside of her
thigh to grant him continued access to her dripping center. If the sounds she
was making were any indication as to how he was performing in this desired
task, he considered himself to be succeeding in pleasuring her greatly. He
paused for a moment, his focus deterred to her squirming form upon the bed
before him, her hands having moved from their place at gripping the blankets to
her breasts, rolling the peak of her nipple between her thumb and forefinger
with each hand.
“Please don’t stop…” she panted, sounding almost feverish.
How could he deny her when she asked so politely?
He resumed his attentions, working at building her the rest of the way to her
peak. He focused in upon the swollen flesh of the sensitive bud at her
epicenter, sucking upon it lightly and pressing it with the tip of his tongue.
It wasn’t long before he heard a muffled moan and snuck a glance upwards to see
Lily with one of the pillows held over her head as her hips continued to rock
with building pleasure. He lapped at her folds from one end to the other,
continuing to circle her clitoris with his tongue until he was almost certain
he heard a muffled scream from beneath the pillow, followed by heavy breathing
and a sigh. He licked her once more and then sat up, unable to conceal the
cheesy half-smile plastered to his face.
“Oh, Sev… Oh my love.”
He unwound the towel from about his waist, sitting upon the edge of the bed as
she eventually gained control of her body once more. He needed her. Her pupils
were blown wide, dark from the passion she had felt wrack her from head to toe.
She was so lovely, even more so in her current state of mild disarray, when he
knew that he was the cause of it all. She pressed a kiss to his cheek,
motioning that he should join her further on the bed. Taking his hands in hers
she then rolled him onto his back, moving astride him, pinning his heated
arousal between her still dripping core and his lower abdomen. The sensation of
her wetness and the sight of her was maddening. It was enough for him to
remember to breathe. She was naked, she was sitting atop him, and she wanted
him. It still stunned him to think that she cared so deeply for him, that she
desired his touch, his kisses, and his cock. She stared right back at him,
nothing but desire present in her green eyes. She was flushed with own arousal,
her hair still dampened from the bath, falling in untidied waves about her
shoulders. He lightly brushed a curl behind her ear, the backs of his knuckles
lingering in a whispered caress upon her cheek.
He growled his desire at her, his hands moving down to her hips, pulling her
down to grind upon him, moving his own hips to rub her with his cock at the
same time. She moaned his name, head lolling back upon her neck, hips arched
just enough so that he could line himself up with her entrance. He groaned
loudly as the head of his cock slid into her. Slowly she sunk down upon him,
taking him in inch by inch- Severus grunting out her name, his hands reaching
for her waist and clinging to her soft flesh as though he would never again let
go. She was tight and exceedingly wet, and unable to conceal her own pleasure
at the feel of his cock stretching her in such a satisfying way. She stopped in
her motions when she had taken him fully inside of her, sitting very still on
top of him. Instinctively he bucked his hips against her, attempting to
encourage her to move, but she remained purposefully still.
“I love you, Lily.”
She bent down and pressed her lips to his, beginning to move back and forth,
grinding against him as they kissed. He felt himself tingle from the sensation,
enjoying the feeling of her movements, though needing something more. He did
not protest, finding himself thoroughly distracted when their kiss broke, his
head positioned in such a way that he was right between her breasts. He brought
his hands slowly up her hips and waist to the bouncing flesh, his thumbs
brushing over her nipples- Finding them stiffen at his touch, Lily’s movements
speeding up in response as she rolled her head back and moaned. He could bear
it no longer, his hands slipping back to her hips and emboldening her to rise
up until only the head of his cock remained inside of her, only to quickly pull
her back down as he thrusted up to meet her, creating such delicious friction.
He repeated his motions again and again, the sight of her riding him, one that
had only ever before been a thing of his dreams. He watched her in a lustful
fascination, her breasts bouncing with exertion of her shifting hips, her mouth
agape in ecstasy. He was certain that if he were to die tomorrow that he would
die a happy man thinking about this very moment. Her long hair brushed in a
tickling caress of his thighs, his own climax approaching at a cruel pace.
As if understanding that he wouldn’t last much longer, she bent down and kissed
him twice more upon the lips. She resumed her precise slow back and forth
grinding from earlier, nearly forcing his eyes to roll up into his head. It was
almost enough to push him over the edge, teasing and exquisite, though not
quite enough. His grip on her waist tightened, and he heard himself groaning
from deep within his throat, longing that she move faster and take him over the
edge. Meeting her eyes, he saw the sly smile upon her slightly swollen pink
lips.
Veela.
She kept to her slow movements for a few torturous moments more, but eventually
she sought to satisfy not only his, but her own need. She sped up, the sharp
increase in friction nearly forcing him to spill his seed within her at once;
she kept moving, chasing her own peak. Seeing how close she was he urged her
on, ignoring his own growing discomfort from the mounting sensitivity of his
cock. He clenched his jaw, eyes glued to her perfect form, hands holding
tightly to her thighs. He felt it before she gasped; her inner muscles clamping
down upon him with surprising force as she reached her peak.
“Sev! Oh my God…! Sev!” she cried, her hands moving through her beautiful red
hair.
It wasn’t long before she moved from him, his cock slipping out of her, and the
two of them rose silently to utilize the lukewarm water remaining in the tub to
clean themselves off. With a quick flick of the wand, the tub and remaining
water vanished, the lovers returning to the comfortable bed in the warmth of
the tent. Lily curled herself tightly into the space beside Severus, her head
resting on his shoulder and chest, a leg thrown across his, the fingers of her
right hand caressing up and down the center of his chest and the light dusting
of dark hair that grew there. He hugged her tightly, his right arm curved
around her back and waist, his left hand covering the right in its soft
stroking of his skin. It wasn’t long until both of their eyes grew heavy, sleep
conquering the pair as they drifted off into dreams of each other.
Chapter End Notes
     I have a feeling that this might have been the chapter we were all
     waiting for.
     And they never even drank the tea that Severus made!
     Song of inspiration:
     Fire_Meet_Gasoline_-_Sia
***** Snowfall *****
Chapter Summary
     Winter may rage outside, but within the confines of the little tent a
     fire burns.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
           “Never love anyone who treats you like you’re ordinary.”
                                 -Oscar Wilde
                                   [lovers]
Crimson eyes and translucent white skin. Skin so thin that one could almost see
the blood flowing through the blue veins that snaked across the skull. Snake.
The sound of malevolent hissing from the master’s pet. Nagini must be hungry
again- Only human flesh would do. The slit nostrils flared, teeth jagged as the
thin lips pulled away in a disgusted sneer.
Blood-traitor.
Voldemort lifted his wand, the pale yew seeming unnaturally aglow in the
dimness of the space. A well-practiced flick of the wrist and the bright green
light sprang forth. The words had been inaudible, everything seeming as though
it had been playing out in slow motion. Severus blinked twice, hands running up
the front of his black robes, shocked to find himself still alive after having
displeased the Dark Lord.
The laugh had been thunderous, high-pitched and methodical, the sound blood-
chilling.
He turned from his master to find the source of the amusement. Death. Not just
any either. His knees seemed to go out from underneath him, cold sweat
drenching his clammy skin as he reached for her lifeless form. Hair the color
of fire, eyelids closed, shielding her remarkably green eyes. Lily. She had
finally been his. And now she was dead.
Severus awoke with a jolt, his breathing fast, eyes wide. For a moment he had
forgotten himself to have been in the tent, well protected, deep within the
Forest of Dean. No one knew of his campsite, and no one knew Lily to be with
him… Lily. He turned to his right, finding his bed still shared with the deeply
dreaming girl that held his heart in the palm of her hands. She had rolled off
of him in their sleep, her hair a sea of fiery auburn curls in shocking
contrast to the white linens. He rolled onto his side, fingertips lightly
caressing through a lock, relishing in the silky-softness. Lily shifted in her
sleep, her backside pressing against his groin and his steadily stiffening
cock. He stifled a groan from her unaware attentions, his nose burying itself
within her curls, the soothing scent of lavender from their bath lightly
perfuming her tresses. His change of angle added to the burn within his blood,
the further hardening of his cock, as he pressed against her in a way that
proved even more maddening. He desired nothing more than to wake her up and
take her again- To prove to himself that she was very much alive, and that his
imagination had merely run away with itself as he had drifted off into a deep
slumber.
A quick glance across the short expanse of the tent proved the fire to still be
burning within the stove; they had no reason to leave the bed. He wanted her.
The insistent nature of his erection was proving itself nothing short of
annoying in the present circumstances. He was naked, and so was she- And God,
was she beautiful.
He would do it, he would wake her. Tentatively, he snaked an arm around her
beneath the covers, palm coming to rest upon her belly. He moved his fingertips
in a gentle trail of feather light touches up the curve of her waist and gentle
flesh of her arm. Shifting slightly, he grazed the tender arc of her breast,
middle finger lightly brushing her nipple, skin stiffening under his caress.
Moving steadily upward he traced the contour of her collarbone, gently tucking
her hair behind her ear as he pressed a tender kiss to her pulse point. Lastly,
he touched her lips, the pink skin parting, her breath warm against the pads of
his fingers.
“Lily?” he breathed.
She yawned, “Sev?”
He kissed the bare skin of her exposed shoulder, “You’ve filled me with an
ardor that I can’t seem to extinguish. Will you let me love you again…? Will
you allow me this weakness in your arms?”
“Your weakness is my own,” she told him, eyes glittering in the dimness as she
sought his dark gaze, lips curled up slightly at the corners.
It was all he needed. A surge of want came over him, his hands moving around
her, seeking the smoothness of her fair skin, his breathing quickened. He moved
his hips; rubbing his cock against the curve of her backside with need, his
arousal evident, eagerness causing him to part the fleshy cheeks of her arse as
he pressed forward. He groaned, lips leaving fleeting kisses upon the nape of
her neck. The movements felt nothing short of glorious as he continued fondling
and caressing Lily within the confines of the bed. His kisses grew more heated
with each press of his cock, tongue lightly tasting her skin as he gently
pinched one of her nipples.
“Oh…” Lily moaned, utterly pliant in his arms.
He moved his hand from her breast down to the opening between her legs.
Fingertips slipping through her soft lower curls, and she parted her thighs in
response to his hungry touches. He reached lower still, a groan of pleasure
emitting from deep within his chest as he found her wet- Fingers sliding easily
through the moisture she had produced. Lily sighed with pleasure, buttocks
grinding against Severus’ throbbing cock as she parted her lips and ran the tip
of her tongue across the pink flesh of her lower lip. As if guessing her own
building need, he took his middle finger and dipped it across the length of her
folds, pressing it inside of her.
She gasped, soft wet walls clenching around his longest finger.
Though further aroused by her reaction to his attentions, he sought something
more. Sought to satisfy his cock with that same squeezing sensation that her
innermost muscles had only just bestowed upon his finger. He slipped the digit
out of her, shifting slightly so that she might roll onto her back. He climbed
on top of her, drunk from desire. She bent her knees, feet flat upon the
mattress, then slowly brought them up to her chest. His eyes wandered across
her naked form, eventually falling upon her fully raised and exposed core. He
couldn’t wait any longer. He pushed himself into her in one stroke, burying the
length of his cock within her quim. He thrusted with slow, precise strokes, the
ecstasy of being inside her nearly consuming him. She moaned loudly, alerting
him to her own passions, forcing him to open his eyes and look upon her.
The sight of her was enough to illicit a moan all his own, his pace speeding
up. Her head was thrown back, lips parted, eyes closed in the throes of her
building passions. Every time he filled her she would gasp anew, brow furrowing
with pleasure, mouth agape. He couldn’t help but smile wickedly at the
knowledge of her true enjoyment at their coupling. Severus felt there could
never be another in his life- Had always known that she was the one for him. It
seemed that Lily felt much the same way. He certainly had no difficulty in
satisfying her… She had made that explicitly clear from each of their
encounters.
“Fuck, Sev!” she gasped, green eyes opening and locking with his dark ones,
“Oh… I love your cock. Oh!”
It was enough to send him over the edge. He shut his eyes tightly as he felt
her core tighten around him- Signifying her own release. He bucked in
uncontrolled thrusts against her, desperate to fall over the edge. He grunted,
pulling her legs up flush against his chest as he sought to be deeper still
within the confines of her. His sac bounced against her from his movements,
tightening with the preparation of completion. As release finally washed over
him, he moaned one final sound of pleasure, arms and legs shaky as he sought
rest anew from the intensity of their love making.
He slid from her, rolling onto his back and wiping himself off with a corner of
the sheet. She crawled to him, curling up in his arms as the two once more
drifted off into sleep. It was as though the nightmare had never happened.
===============================================================================
When Severus next awoke, he rolled over to embrace his lover, only to find
himself very much alone. The shadow on the tent walls led him to believe the
sun had long since risen, the fire in the stove long reduced to ash and coals.
Running his fingers through his tangled black hair he yawned, and then moved to
the edge of the bed. He pulled on a pair of boxer briefs, followed by a pair of
jeans and T-shirt. For good measure he added his long black robes and cloak.
Heavy socks and boots were all that remained before he unfastened the ties to
the tent door and slipped outside.
Just as expected, he found the Forest of Dean transformed overnight into a
winter wonderland. Snow lay in a thick blanket across the once clear forest
floor, the boughs of the evergreens hanging low and heavy from the dusting of
icy fluff that had been deposited in the night. Clouds hung in the sky, the
world no less magnificent in its splendor from lack of sunlight. On the
contrary, the snow still glittered like frozen diamonds. It was cold, and
despite his layers of clothing, Severus fought a chill crawling up his spine
and the uncontrollable need to shiver. A trail of footprints led through the
inches of snow, away from the warmth of the tent and to the edge of the magical
barrier that reinforced their privacy and concealment. He followed her tracks,
noting the immediate disappearance of their path at the edge of his spell’s
barrier.
Where had she gone off to?
Unwilling to wait for her return, or to find her in a state as his earlier
nightmare had forewarned, Severus gripped his wand tightly, and set out from
the camp to find her. As remarkably beautiful as the surrounding scenery was,
he couldn’t help but feel dread bubbling up within him the longer and farther
he ventured from the safety of the camp and the warmth of the tent. She had
probably left seeking firewood- They had run out by the time he had stirred
from his slumber. But why had she not left a note or told him of her
intentions? She had wanted to let him sleep. He had known the answer to his
question before it had even ceased in being asked.
After some time more, he came to a clearing. The snow was untouched, the trees
very still in their frosted state. Icicles hung from their low lying branches,
the remnants of a lazy brook frozen solid- All except for the tiniest of
trickles fighting to stay liquid despite the deep chill. It was silent,
beautiful and still, all except for the puff of air made visible from his
breath. He would have to turn around soon. There was no telling where she might
have gone off to, or if he had even been traveling in the direction she had
ventured. She probably hadn’t even come this far. He closed his eyes for a
moment, envisioning her traipsing back into the camp and tent to find him gone.
He didn’t want to worry her. It was time to return.
When he opened his eyes he was greeted with a familiar sight. A crystal-clear,
icy doe. She was silent and graceful, her hooves leaving the snowy surroundings
unmarred as she wandered alone through the expanse of the deserted space. A
wave of his wand brought about a familiar swirling of smoke and then formed
with the same precision into an identical creature, albeit slightly larger. She
trotted over to the other magical doe, nudging her with secret familiarity. The
pair circled the clearing once, before disappearing into the surrounding trees,
the glow of their magic fading with the end of the spell.
“I never knew your Patronus to be the twin of mine,” a familiar voice said from
behind.
He turned slowly to find Lily leaning on a tree, a pile of wood floating beside
her. She wore grey leggings and her same boots, his flannel shirt from the day
before, and her cloak open. Her cheeks were flushed pink from the cold. “It
wasn’t always.”
She studied him in silence for a time, eyes suddenly sadder in their stare,
“For how long?”
“Since you left the first time.”
“Why?”
“Because anything, even just mimicking your Patronus was a means for me to
somehow keep you close and never forget.”
She smiled, tears sparkling in her eyes. He went to her, hands cupping her
chilled and rosy face; their warmth startling to her. He kissed her softly,
motioning that they should return to camp. They made the trek back in a
comfortable silence, slipping past the unseen barrier and back into the safety
of the little site. Severus lifted the flap so that she might enter first,
following with the wood and restarting their fire once secured inside.
Lily began rubbing her cheeks furiously with the palms of her hands in an
attempt to chase away the bitterness of the cold, the fire crackling merrily in
no time. “How long do you plan on staying here?”
“I’m expected to move on in a few days.”
“Where to?”
He cast her a look that said it all.
“Why can’t you tell me?” she asked, arms crossed over her chest, “What if I
planned on coming with you?”
“You can’t,” he told her bluntly, “This is one of those journeys I must venture
on alone.”
“It’s for him isn’t it?”
“Lily…”
“Sev,” she sighed, sitting on the foot of the bed, “You don’t have to follow
him… There’s- “
“’The Order of the Phoenix,’” he scoffed, staring into the flames of the stove,
“You said that before, yes.”
“But why not?”
“I already told you.”
She fell back against the softness of the mattress and the chaotic blankets,
sighing in exasperation.
He went to her, sitting beside her on the bed and leaning over her, “Do you
really want to know?” he took her hand in his and gently rubbed circles.
She met his eyes, “Nothing you tell me will make me leave.”
He wished he could believe that.
As if hearing his inner insecurity, she took hold of the edge of his robes and
met his lips halfway in a kiss that spanned the distance between them, “Tell
me, Sev… Please.”
“The Dark Lord has three lieutenants- His most trusted servants. They are his
inner council, his blindest of followers to the cause he seeks to promote. They
are dangerous, they are loathsome, and they are despicable. They are not the
kind of magical-folk that can be reasoned with, that can change opinions
easily. You-Know-Who trusts them above all others in his rebel army, they alone
are responsible for countless acts of evil… Dark magic performed without
thought or concern of whom might be affected.”
“Dumbledore could protect you against them, Sev!” she told him, hand caressing
his cheek, “They would not be able to harm you if you sought our protection… I
can speak to him if you’d like… Not use your name, but see what possibilities
might be available. We may not seem a most formidable force, but we do have
resources of our own- But you must let us help you.”
“Lily, you don’t- “
“Dumbledore could protect you against his lieutenants!” she repeated.
He took both of her hands in his, eyes very serious, “I am one of his
lieutenants.”
Chapter End Notes
     Lily has learned that Sev is one of the three feared lieutenants of
     the Dark Lord.
     Sev has discovered Voldemort's suspicions to be correct regarding
     Dumbledore's role as the leader of the Order of the Phoenix.
     DUN DUN DUN...
     Song for this chapter:
     Never_Gonna_Leave_This_Bed_-_Maroon_5
***** Crossroads *****
Chapter Summary
     The aftermath of some very significant discoveries.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
      “Perhaps one did not want to be loved so much as to be understood.”
                                -George Orwell
                                   [forest]
His words echoed in her head.
I am one of his lieutenants.
I am one of his lieutenants.
I am one of his lieutenants.
The ability to breathe suddenly seemed to escape her, and she found herself
desperately struggling to remain calm. Her eyes betrayed her. She knew it by
the look that entered his own dark ones, the way he paused his calming circles
he had been drawing upon the back of her hand with his thumb. He knew something
was different now than it had been before. She would be lying if she told
herself otherwise. Severus was not just any Death Eater… He was one of the most
trusted confidantes to the Dark Lord himself.
How had she been so blind?
What had she done?
She felt herself go limp, a sense of hopelessness permeating the whole of her
form. She had just revealed Albus Dumbledore as the leader of the Order of the
Phoenix. She had put everything that they had long worked for and hoped for at
risk. But Severus had promised her that he would not betray her. She had done
much the same for him as well. She felt her head spinning as she tried to
comprehend the gravity of their situation for the first time. He had warned
her- Told her before that things were stacked against them. She now understood
the intensity behind his words from their time at the house on Spinner’s End.
Being caught with her in his presence proclaimed him instantaneously as a
Blood-traitor in the eyes of his supremacist colleagues. All of the risk, even
in seeking her out, in hoping that she might find him deep within the canopied
and evergreen wild- The Forest of Dean... Why would he put himself through the
danger and risk if not for questioning the very root of his loyalty?
Suddenly her disclosure of their highest member, of their former Headmaster at
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry seemed a very small transgression
indeed. Granted, the knowledge being placed directly at the feet of the darkest
wizard of recent decades was nothing to scoff at. It was the sort of thing her
fellow members of the Order would think impossible from someone such as
herself. It put not just their leader’s life in jeopardy, but all of them by
association.
“What now?”
His words seemed to dissipate within the confines of the tent. It was almost as
though he had never spoken them to begin with. His eyes were steady in their
stare, face blank- Concealing any hint of the own questioning and internal
battle that must be waging within.
“What is your mission from the Dark Lord?”
He opened his mouth to protest, but she raised a palm to silence him.
“Sev, we’ve come to a crossroads of sorts. I have promised you that I would not
betray you, and I intend to keep my promise. I have not sought you out blindly
to lose you again like I did so many years ago. I love you.” She placed her
hands on either side of his face, eyes locked with his, “I love you… But you
have to tell me what’s going on! I can’t lose you again. The years have changed
both of us, but you must recognize that by continuing to follow You-Know-Who,
you seek a world in which everything as we know it will change. A world where
you and I cannot exist… A world where he wishes me, and those like myself,
reduced to ash and washed from memory.”
“I would give it all up in a heartbeat for you- “
“But?”
“Lily, you don’t know what he’s like!” he exclaimed, fear suddenly shining in
his eyes, startling her with a chill to her very core, “He would kill me the
moment I defected- The moment he learned about you. He’s done it countless
times, and for far less. I told you before that I dedicated myself to his cause
fully and without reserve when we parted ways. I don’t claim to be proud of
some of the things I’ve done, the evil acts that I’ve helped plan and
orchestrate… My proficiency in the Dark Arts led me to finally find the family
and comradery that I have always desperately needed. You were far luckier than
I.”
“I had Tuney,” she laughed.
“And you know that despite her meanness towards you that she did- And probably
still cares for you more than she would dare admit,” he told her, “She was
jealous, and undeniably horrible to you and myself at times, but even I could
see that she loved you.”
Lily found herself pause at his words, tears stinging at her eyes from the
honesty of his observation. Something that James had never, and would never
have been able to understand in regards to the eldest Evans daughter.
“My father beat me and my mother mercilessly,” he continued, “I would have
given anything for a sister that took her pains of exclusion out upon me… It
would have certainly been a pleasant change from the fists and belt of a
bastard like Tobias Snape. But, Lily… I would not put you at risk ever. The
Dark Lord could beat me within an inch of my life and I would never amend my
feelings for you.”
The tears began falling from her eyes, and she let go of his face, shaking her
head in sorrow.
“I would never betray you, my love,” he told her, voice soft, hand resting
lightly upon her shoulder, “I may be forced to wear his brand- The mark of his
cause and my supposed loyalty for the rest of my days, but I will never stop
loving the muggle-born girl who first captured my heart at only nine years of
age.”
“So you must continue with his instructions?”
He nodded, “I have to.”
“Is there anything that I can do?”
“Stay strong and await my return.”
“I will have no way of knowing whether you live or die,” she sobbed.
He pulled her to his chest, cradling her tightly as she cried, hands moving
softly through her auburn curls and lightly caressing her back, “I would not
have become a lieutenant if I didn’t succeed at the Dark Lord’s tasks… I
suspect I will survive; sustained by the memory of you- Every inch of you. Your
smell, your touch… The very feel of you.”
===============================================================================
Miles away from the little camp in the Forest of Dean, a figure sat alone
before the remnants of a fire. He was wrapped with a comforter, hair in
disarray, much like the surroundings; much like his life.
How had everything fallen so completely apart?
It seemed only yesterday that they had been wed in the Evans’ garden in
Cokeworth- Not long after arriving in Godric’s Hollow to begin their life
together. He had carried her in his arms across the threshold of the quaint
cottage, despite her squeals of laughter and protest. They had vowed to build a
life together- For better or for worse.
She had given up on them far too soon… He was sure of it.
The knock that sounded upon the door seemed queer and very far away. Who would
dare interrupt him in the wallows of his sorrow and endless despair? James
Potter ignored the intruder on his doorstep, not even turning to acknowledge
the presence. In the time since Lily had left everything had fallen apart
around him- It was as though nothing mattered anymore if it meant a life
without her. He had given in and slept upon the couch, utilizing the common
living space of the small house as a studio apartment of sorts. He avoided
their old bedroom at all costs. Just passing by the closed door elicited
memories devastating in nature. He could not accept that their marriage was
over- That they were no more.
“James? I know you’re in there! Come on, mate!” a muffled voice called through
the heavy front door.
“Go away!” he shouted.
“If you don’t get off your lazy ass and open this door, I swear I’ll break it
from its hinges!”
God-damned bastard, his best friend was. He had told Sirius time and time again
that he needed to be alone, that he wished time to clear his head and really
think. Everyone within the Order of the Phoenix knew that he and Lily were
living apart. It was no secret, though an awkward and unfortunate circumstance
to say the least. Frank and Alice had welcomed his ex-wife into their London
home with open arms. He was certain that she had shared the details regarding
the end of their marriage with them; Alice was Lily’s best friend. But he had
been unable to utter those words… It was as though finally saying them would
prove that there was no possibility for reconciliation, and he wasn’t willing
to give in without at least trying. He loved her that much- Even if she thought
she no longer loved him.
For better or for worse.
The pounding upon the door sounded again, followed by one more muffled shout,
“If you don’t open this bloody door by the time I reach three, it’ll be coming
down!”
“Hold your fucking horses!” James boomed, rising to his feet and moving
barefoot to the entry. He unfastened the locks and opened the door, squinting
against the bright light.
“Merlin’s beard, James!” Sirius exclaimed, taking a step back and pinching his
nose, “You smell like you haven’t bathed in fucking weeks!”
“Go fuck yourself- “
“Now, now…”
“I don’t have time for this, Padfoot!”
“You have all the time in the world,” Sirius laughed, “I have a feeling I’ll
regret this, but- May I come inside?” James stepped aside, comforter still held
around his frame as he allowed his oldest friend, and very near brother,
admittance to the derelict space. Once inside, he closed the door, returning to
his place upon the sofa and leaving Sirius to look about the interior in utter
abhorrence. “Well, I can’t say that I like what you’ve done with the place
since Lily up and left, but I can say for certain that I very much doubt she
would consider taking you back due to the filth you’ve been squatting in.”
James grunted, not turning his attention from the nearly overflowing ashes of
the fireplace and a few nearly cooled coals.
“In all seriousness,” the visitor continued, “What’s happened to you, James? We
all can see it… Perhaps the other Marauders and myself most of all. You’re not
acting like your usual brash and bastard self. Moony, Wormtail, and I are
worried about you- Do you hear me?”
“Are you done?”
Sirius Black strode further into the space and around the front of the sofa to
face the shell of a human that had replaced his once vibrant friend. “You need
to move on- “
“Fuck you.”
“Maybe Lily was right,” he stiffened, narrowing his eyes at the man seated
before him, “If this is the sort of treatment you bestowed upon her, then I
applaud her decision in leaving you! I would have too! You’re not acting like
yourself. Lily has always been able to take care of herself- Her independence
and spirit was what first drew you to her. She’ll find someone else in no time
flat to appreciate her if you’re incapable of doing so.”
The jolt of movement was discerned by Sirius Black before James had succeeded
in casting his curse. He pounced on the man, pinning him to the floor, his own
wand pressed to the hollow of his throat.
“Do it,” James told him through gritted teeth, glasses askew on his face, “She
won’t be coming back.”
“Not if you don’t clean this place and yourself up,” Sirius sighed, shaking his
head, “I’ll help you, mate… Come on. Enough of all this!”
James submitted, raising himself to a sitting position upon the filthy
floorboards. He bowed his head, hands grabbing hold of his always-messy short
dark hair. “It’s torture seeing her every week at the meetings… I can’t help
but stare at her, but she doesn’t even see me anymore. It’s like I already mean
nothing to her- That I’m already a stranger! And unfortunate memory that she
can’t seem to get far enough away from.”
Sirius patted him comfortingly upon the shoulder, “I’m sure neither of you are
completely at fault for the way things have progressed… It usually takes two,
you know.”
“She told me she couldn’t pretend any longer… That she didn’t love me.”
“Prongs…”
“She told me that I’ve never understood her… That all I ever wanted was just to
have her, to possess her,” he shook his head, “Damn it, I’m just so fucking
lost!”
“Then show her that you want her. That you love her desperately, and that you
need her in your life! You have to let her know how important she is to you!
You can’t just sit by and neglect her emotions and dreams- Not that you have,”
he added quickly, seeing the glare bestowed upon him, “You both lost your
parents in the time that you’ve been together… She comforted you through all of
that.”
“And I tried to be there for her as well!”
“With your cock, or with your heart?”
James frowned, eyes lowered to the floor once more.
“Lily’s life has been one far different than anything you, Moony, Wormtail, or
I can relate to,” he continued, “I may have been disowned by my family for my
good looks and impeccable charisma- “
A hint of a smile teased the corner of James’ lips.
“Prongs, in all seriousness though,” Sirius told his disheveled friend, “It
wasn’t easy losing everything I had ever known; no matter how crazy for You-
Know-Who my mother and kid-brother were. The Black’s are a proud Pure-Blood
family- Their loyalty questioned much more recently, though forever proud of
their Slytherin ties. None of us can understand how strange and isolating it
must have felt to have been in Lily’s shoes when she discovered herself to be a
witch! Women are far different creatures, and it pays to utilize a little
sensitivity once in a while.”
“I tried!”
“Then you must keep trying!” he exclaimed, helping James to his feet, “No one
ever claimed that love was easy… You’re the only one of us to have actually
settled down, a feat in itself! But I have one question for you, and you must
swear to answer it honestly.”
“Ask.”
“Do you love her?”
“Of course- “
“Then you must fight for her! Fight to show her that she married you for all
the right reasons! She won’t question her affections for you if you prove
yourself worthy of her love. You must take her critiques to heart and change
yourself. Yes, you. If you truly love her, it’ll be worth it.”
Chapter End Notes
     I'm normally not a big fan of Sirius Black. However, the role he has
     played thus far is one of calmness and understanding. I can't say for
     certain how his character will develop as this tale progresses,
     though I do believe that he would hold the greatest sway over James
     in trying to lead him away from his gloom. Fuck_James_Potter. But a
     good friend always tries to help you out of your darkest times, and
     that is precisely what I was attempting to convey with their scene.
     Also, in case it wasn't clear, James has not revealed to anyone the
     actual fact that his marriage to Lily is kaput... That is a secret
     reserved for his own inner torment.
     Musical inspiration:
     All_of_Me_-_John_Legend
***** Return to London *****
Chapter Summary
     Parting is such sweet sorrow.
Chapter Notes
     There is a portion of this tenth chapter taken directly from the
     brilliant William Shakespeare in his famous play, Hamlet.
See the end of the chapter for more notes
 “And Lot’s wife, of course, was told not to look back where all those people
   and their homes had been. But she did look back, and I love her for that,
                           because it was so human.”
                              -Kurt Vonnegut Jr.
                                  [farewell]
New_Year,_January_1980
It seemed as though their time had been up before it even began. During her
time spent at the hidden camp in the Forest of Dean, Lily had gone through so
many emotions- Her heart both filling to the brim and then threatening to
shatter seemingly at a moment’s notice. She was in love- Of that she was
painfully aware. Severus had already proven himself to mean more to her than
she could very nearly comprehend. The knowledge of being parted from him filled
her with a growing sense of dread and unease. She had learned of his role- Of
his duty to the Dark Lord, and yet she was not frightened away. On the
contrary, she desired to remain at his side even more so. The thought of being
separated from him again, and forced to return to London, was possibly the most
terrifying prospect she had ever been faced with.
“When the time is right, I will find the means to contact you,” he had
promised, “It will not be by owl, of that I can assure you. It was a risk that
I should not have allowed in the first place. I must also ask that you not
return to the residence on Spinner’s End.”
Erasing every trace of me…
“No,” he told her, “Not erasing. I merely seek to protect you in any way that I
can.”
“How did you-?”
“The Dark Lord is a renowned Legilimens. He has made it a point for his
lieutenants to share in this feat. It is important, so that we may better serve
him on both our dark tasks and in outing the unfaithful amongst his ranks.”
She nodded solemnly.
“I can teach you Occlumency so that you can seal your inner thoughts,” he
offered, “It’s a very useful skill to have should you ever find yourself
cornered and questioned by the wrong sorts.”
“I would rather just remain safely at your side.”
He sighed, hands taking hold of her shoulders gently, “I know.”
“I hate that I have to leave this place and all that’s transpired between us
behind,” she continued, “I understand why you don’t want to reveal everything
to me, Sev. But you have to know that doesn’t make it any easier.”
“All will be revealed in due course,” he spoke into her hair, “I must wait
until the time is right. Even then, there is no telling if I will be received
as hoped, or still thought of as the enemy in disguise.”
“So you have considered abandoning You-Know-Who and his cause?”
He kissed her, neither confirming or denying her question with a true and
spoken response.
“Can you read my thoughts all the time?”
He laughed, “If I truly sought to invade your privacy in such a way, yes.
However, I usually prefer for you to speak your mind in due course, rather than
prying the answers I seek directly from you.”
Her almond-shaped green eyes gleamed mischievously, “What am I thinking about
now?”
===============================================================================
By the time Lily had made it back to the Longbottom’s home, number 713 upon a
quiet lane in London, darkness had fallen. She had barely closed the door
behind her when she found herself greeted by Frank and Alice- In their usual
defensive manner. One could never be too careful, and living under the same
roof as a pair of Aurors had made that quite evident. They had lowered their
wands at once, faces transforming from guarded to gleeful at the sight of their
dear friend. Lily had scarcely removed her black cloak by the time Alice threw
her arms around her, drawing her into a warm embrace. Wordlessly, Frank took
the discarded traveling garment that still remained in Lily’s outstretched
hand, hanging it on the coat rack beside those belonging to him and his wife.
“I’m so glad you’re back!” Alice smiled, “I’ve missed you terribly… And of
course I’ve been worried for you- “
“We both have,” Frank nodded.
“Of course you can take care of yourself just fine,” Alice added quickly, “We
both know that… But we can’t deny our fondness and attachment towards you since
you’ve come to stay with us.”
“It’s good to have you back, Lily,” Frank echoed with a smile, hand resting
knowingly upon his wife’s shoulder.
Lily was touched by their sentiment, not at all offended as Alice had appeared
concerned with. Though she continued to feel an unsettling emptiness at being
parted from Severus, she could not deny the warmth she felt at having been
reunited with Frank and Alice. In the span of the few months that Lily had
stayed with the Longbottom’s, she had quickly grown to love them just as much
as she might her own family- If they were still alive, or desiring her company
(unlikely when it came to Vernon and Petunia Dursley).
“There’s a meeting tonight,” Frank told them to fill the silence that had
momentarily fallen between them, “I should be heading out. It’s the last one
we’ll be able to have with Dumbledore in admittance for some time… What with
Hogwarts starting back up for the Spring Term soon.”
“Should I come?” Lily questioned, “It’ll only take me a minute to get myself
ready.”
“No, no,” he protested, “Why don’t you just settle in with Alice. Relax with a
cup of tea by the fire and catch up on all the news; I’m sure you have loads to
discuss in regards to your travels and adventures. Don’t worry about the
others! I will assure them of your safety and inform them that you will join us
next week.”
Alice’s expression was alight with happiness- Lily knew she was desperate for
details and the companionship of her best friend. Maybe Frank was right. Lily
nodded with a smile, “Please tell everyone that I’m exceedingly sorry for my
recent absences.”
“I will,” he smiled. He then reached for his cloak and drew it around him,
pressing a tender kiss to his wife’s cheek, “I love you.”
“I love you too.”
Without another word, Frank left the two women and passed across the threshold
of the front door. He disappeared with the decisive ‘pop,’ Aparating into the
inky blackness of the night. The pair immediately began securing the front door
once more with the usual combination of protective magic before once again
turning to face each other. Alice took hold of her best friend’s hand, leading
her into the cozy and comfortable back sitting room. A fire burned warmly in
the fireplace, and both women retired to the sofa with a steaming cup of tea in
hand. For some time, they sat in a contented silence, the glow of the red-
orange flames casting dancing shadows upon both their faces, eyes glittering in
the dimness.
“I presume you found him?”
Lily nodded, attempting to contain the cheesy grin of happiness that threatened
to spring forth.
Alice sat down her cup, pulling her legs up and underneath her. She placed a
hand habitually upon her stomach, over the steadily growing babe within. A
smile spread across her lips, “Where did you go?”
“Deep within the Forest of Dean.”
“And did you let him go deep within you?”
“Alice!”
“What?!” she laughed, “Lily, just you wait until you’re pregnant… Propriety is
nothing to me anymore. If Frank would allow it, I’d be getting mine upwards of
three times a day.”
Lily blushed, laughing at her friend.
“It’s a shame he has other responsibilities like work at the Ministry and
these- While important, bothersome meetings for the Order. How am I to help the
insatiable need that I seem to have for a good ploughing all the time?!”
“Oh, you poor dear…” Lily patted Alice’s hand, “Such a neglectful husband you
have!”
“I know; I know…”
Their eyes locked, and both women burst into a fresh wave of laughter.
“You look radiant,” Alice told her, retrieving her cup for another warming sip,
“When will you see him again?”
Staring into the tea remaining within her own cup, “I honestly don’t know.”
“Wasn’t that much the same last time?”
Lily didn’t respond, she merely continued staring into the cup held in between
her hands.
Taking the cup from her friend, Alice sat it upon the coffee table with her
own. She then took Lily’s hands in her own, her voice low and calm, “’Doubt
thou the stars are fire. Doubt the sun doth move. Doubt truth to be a liar- “
Lily’s green eyes met Alice’s brown ones as they spoke the final words together
in unison, “’But never doubt thy love.’”
===============================================================================
Hogsmeade had always been a picturesque little village. It had long been known
as the only all-wizarding community in all of Great Britain. Snow had long
since come to the Scottish Highlands, the small township blanketed in white. It
was really quite lovely- Not unlike something portrayed upon the front of a
holiday greeting card. It was far colder than the wilds of the Forest of Dean,
and also far busier with the traffic of people.
Severus had packed up his camp, hidden deep within the ancient evergreen trees,
the evening after Lily had departed. Bidding her farewell had been harder than
he had imagined. She would have stayed with him forever if he had only allowed
it- Frankly he was surprised that she hadn’t put up more of a fuss when he had
told her that his next leg of the journey must be alone. Their time together
had once again been far too brief than either had desired, but with
circumstances as they were, they had been lucky to have even managed that. He
hadn’t been sure what he had sought from Lily when first sending the black owl
to her with the cryptic poetic riddle. Had it been just to satiate his lust? To
sink his cock once more into the sheer ecstasy that was hidden between her
legs? No. He had never thought of Lily in that manner, and to have suddenly
begun to would have been nothing short of absurd. He loved her. Deeply- So much
so that the thought of her sometimes was enough to take his breath away. But
there were so many factors at play that threatened their happiness, and the
hope that they would ever, truly, be able to be together.
Albus Dumbledore was the leader of the Order of the Phoenix.
The confession of one of the Dark Lord’s long suspected theories had been a
surprise. Severus had not suspected Lily to divulge such a detail to him,
though he certainly would not seek to utilize the information in any manner
that might prove harmful towards her. As though seeking to ease her troubled
mind, he had too admitted something of grave importance- His role as one of the
three lieutenants. While his divulgence was not nearly as dangerous an
admission, it was imperative that she not tell a soul. Revealing such key
information could mean only that both the Ministry of Magic and members
belonging to her Order would hunt him mercilessly. He hoped that on his own he
might be able to uncover the truth surrounding Albus Dumbledore’s allegiance,
so that he would not directly be betraying Lily when forced to reveal his
findings to Voldemort.
He had come to Hogsmeade under the cover of darkness, seeking refuge in a
battered cottage on the outskirts of the village that the Dark Lord had ensured
was well protected. For how much Voldemort had turned his nose up in regards to
the house on Spinner’s End that Severus sometimes called home, this house was
nothing much better. Black mold crawled across the bathroom and sitting room
walls, paint peeling, and the floorboards stained from water damage. There was
a draft that seemed the very breath of winter, the bones of the house stinking
of disuse and mothballs. No manner of cleaning or magic was bound to make the
place any more tolerable, and Severus had half a mind to set his tent somewhere
up the nearby mountain and camp in comfort rather than remain in the refuse of
a dilapidated shanty-house.
It wouldn't be forever.
Memories of Lily were about the only thing that sustained him anymore, the only
prospect of a life worth meaning. He wondered where exactly she had gone- He
knew London, but he was curious about the details. He did not wish to utilize
his skill of Legilimency in seeking her innermost thoughts. Trust and honesty
would prove the only means of worthy knowledge when it came to her secrets. It
had been hard to open up to her after so many years, and he knew it was much
the same for her as well. But it had been easier this time for both of them,
and while an accomplishment, it had also brought about a curious sense of
unease to their budding relationship.
We have to learn to trust each other despite our allegiances… She has to learn
the truth of my intentions or else I risk losing her again.
He would not lose her again. It was a fact. Unfortunately, being locked up in
Voldemort’s safe house was doing nothing for his morale or piece of mind. As he
settled into the drafty and uncomfortable shelter that would be his home for
the foreseeable future, or at least until he learned the entirety of the
details which the Dark Lord sought, he found his mind drifting back to the
Forest of Dean and the hope of an escape from his new surroundings. Lily’s
question rang through his ears: “What am I thinking about now?”
He smiled, eyes closing to the secret fantasy.
Chapter End Notes
     Can I just say how much I love Alice Longbottom. ♥
     Also, thank you all so much for your continued trust and dedication
     to my story- You all make be feel very appreciated and loved with
     such encouraging comments and kudos!
     Tearjerker of a song for this chapter:
     Someone_Like_You_-_Adele
***** Dark Recruitment *****
Chapter Summary
     The Order of the Phoenix is faced with a strange new report about the
     priorities of the Death Eaters.
Chapter Notes
     I had not intended on posting this chapter so soon, but it's a
     special occasion of sorts, so woohoo! :)
See the end of the chapter for more notes
              “When a man cannot choose, he ceases to be a man.”
                               -Anthony Burgess
                                    [skull]
As much as Lily fought to keep her thoughts of Severus at bay, there was no
denying that he was, once again, always on her mind. It was worst in the
evenings, of course- And almost always as she drifted off into a restless
slumber. Sometimes she found herself plagued by nightmares and dark visions of
his untimely and gruesome death. More than once she had awakened sitting stark
upright in bed, a thin covering of sweat sticking to her pale skin, the light
of the moon casting a sickly shadow through the dancing curtains of her bedroom
window. Blood. So much blood and sadness. He was always only just out of her
reach, his hands reaching for her help, dark eyes pleading for assistance, and
not once was she able to reach him before a ghastly figure struck the killing
blow. Unmistakable green light... The telltale sign of the killing curse, Avada
Kevadra. She shuddered, throwing the blankets back over her head and fighting
to shake the overwhelming feelings that told her that she would never see him
again. During the light of day, it was always much more tolerable, and not
nearly as dark in imagery. Certainly her mind would wander, though it was often
to moments of their time in the Forest of Dean, or their first encounter after
so many years apart, at the old house of Severus’ childhood on Spinner’s End.
Most recently to the teasing fantasy she had tested his Legilimency with prior
to their parting...
Lips and tongues entwined, hands clutching blindly for soft flesh. Little bites
down the sides of her neck, culminating in a light sucking of her pressure
point. Goosebumps crawling up the skin of both arms, flesh tingling with
excitement and anticipation of where he might touch her next. She’d bite her
lower lip softly, pleading him for more. His hands would resume moving through
her hair, his lips barely pressing to the nape of her neck in a fleeting kiss,
and then moving down the length of her spine. She’d gasp, eyes darting to find
his, her pupils blown wide with desire. She’d very nearly cling to him, hands
moving down his chest and stomach, finding the bulge of desire that called to
her; touching him outside of his clothes was enough to cause a notable wetness
all her own. A warmth would begin in her chest, her nipples straining, nearly
chafing against whatever top she happened to be wearing. The same warmth would
slowly sink lower, filling her stomach, and crawling down her thighs and around
to the junction between her legs. Wetness forming, she’d instinctively press
her thighs tightly together, rubbing them with a steady and building need for
friction. A need that could only be quenched by the added breadth of his
hardened co-
“Lily!”
She snapped out of her fantasy and back to her surroundings. She was seated at
the usual long wooden table, surrounded by her fellow members of the Order of
the Phoenix. She blinked twice, hoping that a blush didn’t escape her at this,
most inopportune moment. Everyone was staring at her, perplexed expressions
upon all of their faces. She turned to her left, to the source of the voice
which had pulled her from the depths of her momentarily inappropriate daydream.
Kingsley Shacklebolt’s gaze was fixed upon her, eyes not unkind in his pointed
staring.
“Pardon me,” she managed, “What was the question, again?”
A twitch of the corner of his mouth let her know that she had not deviated long
from their necessary conversation, “Have you noticed anything odd in your
recent travels? Any sign that the Death Eaters might be on the move to less
populated areas? I think a logical fear might be that You-Know-Who is perhaps
seeking to ‘cleanse’ the outlying areas of Great Britain before focusing
wholeheartedly upon the mass population within our largest cities.”
Lily could still feel the stares of all her fellow members burning deep within
her as she sought the appropriate response to the Ministry’s Head Auror,
knowing that even the slightest fib would be detectable to him if his queries
grew any more detailed, “I can’t say that I was actively looking for signs,
though I didn’t notice anything seemingly amiss or out of place when I was on
holiday.”
Everyone nodded, seemingly satisfied with her answer, including Kingsley, who
resumed his conversations with the rest of the present members. The only part
of her time away that had proven somewhat disappointing in nature, was the fact
that she had missed out on the last few meetings that Albus Dumbledore had been
able to attend before resuming his post fully as the Headmaster at Hogwarts
School of Witchcraft and Wizardry for the recommencement of classes. It was a
small price to pay for such an amazing time spent alone with Severus… Even if
it meant a small twinge of guilt that never seemed to entirely leave her. It
was a forbidden romance to say the least, and even the itch to tell someone of
such importance as the secret leader of the Order of the Phoenix, could prove
of disastrous consequences. No, she would have to remain silent on the matter…
Severus had assured her that it was the only way, and that divulging too much
information could only mean the untimely death of the both of them. Even Alice
seemed to understand the dire circumstances surrounding their mostly secret
love affair, refraining from asking too many pointed questions, though Lily
could see the admitted restrain in her best friend’s discord.
“I have something that I think should be shared with the group,” Sirius Black
suddenly spoke, after a brief moment of quiet had fallen over the proceeding,
“I had a strange occurrence the other afternoon… I was approached by Rabastan
Lestrange.”
Murmuring suddenly plagued the room, eyes darting about uncomfortably, various
members shifting in their wooden chairs at the utterance of a known Death
Eater’s name.
“I had just been leaving the Leaky Cauldron, when he pulled me aside down an
alley a short distance away. He was very much alone, though I couldn’t help the
persistent feeling of being watched all the same. He wasn’t concerned with
hiding his allegiance to the Dark Lord either.”
James Potter looked visibly concerned, clearly having not heard this bit of
information spoken from his best friend until now, “What did he have to say,
Padfoot?”
The dark-haired man with well-kept goatee licked his lips uncomfortably before
continuing, running the fingers of his left hand through his wavy hair
absentmindedly, “He told me that the Dark Lord could use members like myself…
Pure-Bloods with unmistakable talents. He seemed to know about my abilities as
an Animagus, though wasn’t so blunt as to say it aloud- He alluded to it
though, and that was enough.”
“Unregistered-?” One of the members asked, though they were shut down with a
wave of the hand.
“Yes, yes… Long story,” Sirius replied noncommittedly, “There’s more than just
myself amongst you that can lay claim to the same feat,” he added, and though
most would not have picked up on their reactions, Lily noticed a decided change
in posture from the other Marauders present, James Potter, Peter Pettigrew, and
Remus Lupin. “It’s not important really… The point I was trying to make was
that while they’ve been ‘underground’ recently, or at least a hell of a lot
less active in their movements, I was openly approached by a Death Eater, not
four days ago, in an undeniable attempt to recruit me over to You-Know-Who’s
army.”
“And what did you tell him?” Lily found herself asking, all eyes momentarily
transfixed upon her.
“To bugger off!” Sirius grinned, a few members around the table clapping at the
bluntness of his response, “I told him to run back to his master before he
found himself landed in Azkaban.”
Kingsley Shacklebolt rubbed the palm of one hand over his smoothly shaven face,
apparently deep in thought.
“What’s on your mind?” Frank questioned his supervisor from the Auror Office at
the Ministry of Magic.
“It would seem that He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named has changed his plans,” he replied
slowly, “They’ve been quiet for a long while… Seemingly because of a change in
plans to their rebellious cause. It’s my guess, that Sirius was not the only
wizard approached by one of their ranks- Nor is it limited to men alone. It is
my assumption that the Death Eaters have been enlisted with a new task from the
lieutenants overseeing them.” He looked around at his fellow members lining the
worn wooden table they frequently sat at, eyes falling for a moment upon Sirius
Black, “Your allegiance to the Order is clearly not common knowledge to them,
and a good thing too,” he looked at each of the faces present, “We must all be
careful, there’s no telling why they suddenly seem intrigued with perusing
specific individuals for recruitment into their army, but it would not be out
of the question for every one of us to find ourselves face-to-face with a Death
Eater before too long.”
The remainder of the meeting was met with much distraction and whispering,
members clearly uncomfortable with the recent information shared by Sirius
Black, and pieced together by Kingsley Shacklebolt. It was recommended for
Aparation to happen in pairs or more from the meetings going forward; a
distinct understanding of safety amongst numbers. Lily and Frank lined up with
everyone else in preparation for departure, with Lily bumping into James
accidentally while waiting their turn.
“I’m sorry,” she said quickly, turning away before he could say anything to
her.
“Lily…”
She closed her eyes to steady herself against the urge to say something
spiteful, and turned to face her ex-husband with stoic stillness.
“Just, be careful out there,” he told her, eyes searching hers, then turning to
resume his conversation with Sirius and Remus.
“Well that was nice of him,” Frank whispered when she had turned back around.
Lily’s expression was enough to silence him until they had returned to Alice in
the safety of the house on the quiet street in London.
===============================================================================
“What do you mean they’re pursuing a list of potential assets to their cause?!”
Alice exclaimed the following evening, “What’s that supposed to mean?!”
“We don’t even know who’s on the list, or if it’s even a real thing,” Lily
stated quickly.
“She’s right, dear,” Frank said soothingly, “Just because Sirius was approached
by a Death Eater hardly means that everyone will be. It could have just been a
random coincidence.”
“But you said Rabastan pointed out ‘Pure-Blood’ as a factor when he cornered
Sirius in that alley,” Alice pressed, “While that may imply that Lily’s exempt
in their recruitment activities, you can’t deny that it would seem that they
are seeking to add more ‘preferred’ blood to their supremacist army… Frank, you
and I are Aurors! What does that mean for us?!”
“It means that they would have to be quite dedicated in their search for us,
especially given the fact that you rarely leave this house with the severity of
your condition,” he told her, squeezing her hand with gentle pressure, voice
lowering, “You know I’d never let anything happen to you, or our baby.”
She nodded, solemnly, the expression of concern unmistakable on her features.
“I don’t want you to think that I would stand by and not protect or defend you
either, Lily,” he added, “You are as much a part of our family now as anyone
else, and I would see you safe regardless of some recruitment ploy by You-Know-
Who.”
She smiled, touched by his consideration for her. Silently she wondered if
Severus was privy to this information- He must be. Kingsley had mentioned the
three lieutenants at the meeting, and she knew that any direct orders or
changes to the plans of the Death Eaters were always passed to the inner circle
first. It was they who would then spread the orders of Voldemort to the
followers in his ranks, making certain that everything went according to his
dark plans. But why hadn’t he told her? Perhaps it was not the most significant
of the Dark Lord’s current plans? Besides that, he had not attempted in any way
to convert her ideal over to those he had long ago proclaimed himself in
allegiance to. No, he had given her every indication that he was planning to
challenge his cause, and soon- Though he had certain obligations that he was
required to deal with before proceeding with a possible switching of his
loyalty. His orders were clearly not in regards to the persuasion of wizards
and witches in joining the Dark Lord. But if not entrusted with such a scheme,
then what? What dark plan had he been forced to abandon her presence with in
order to discover for Voldemort?
“So, we’re safe?” Alice had questioned her husband.
“For the time being, we have no reason to fear,” Frank assured her.
It was only a few moments after he had uttered his words that a knock sounded
upon the front door. The three of them turned at once in the direction of the
sound, the rapping pointed and unfamiliar. Frank frowned, brow creasing with
unspoken worry. Alice placed a hand upon the bend of his arm, her other moving
instinctively in a subconscious act of protection as it came to rest upon the
curve of her stomach; over the growing life within. He rose from his seat on
the sofa, his glance enough to tell both women that he expected they remain
silent and out of sight. Lily went to Alice, taking her best friend’s hands in
hers, the pair rising and moving to the edge of the sitting room so they might
overhear whatever might be said. Frank drew his wand, stepping firmly into the
foyer of the house and up to the well-sealed entry. No sign of fear or
intimidation escaped him as he stood before the thick wooden door, awaiting any
further sign of the unexpected visitor.
The repetition of the previous knocking, in much the same manner sounded, this
time followed by a sing-song voice, high pitched and eerily familiar,
“Longbottoms, yeah?! Open up, Frank and Alice… I know you’re in there!”
He shot a quick glance of warning to the two women, Lily and Alice pressing
their backs to the wall separating them from the entry. A cold sweat was
breaking out on both of their faces, a distinct humming of evil foreboding
sounding deafening within their ears. Frank unlatched the door, poised for a
potential duel if the defense of his family was at risk, slowly cracking it to
peer at the individual upon the stoop.
“Frankie, Frankie…” the voice continued, followed by the distinct clicking of
her tongue in a ‘tisk, tisk’ sound, “For a moment I was thinking you didn’t
appreciate my presence! And how very rude of you that would have been.”
“Bellatrix Lestrange?”
“The one and only,” she giggled, curtsying on the doorstep, “Might I bend your
ear for a moment?”
He stared at her, neither agreeing or disagreeing with her preposition.
She leaned in close, her breath warm and smelling of cloves as she whispered,
“Perhaps you wouldn’t mind inviting me inside, and out of this blasted cold?”
“I think it best we stay in our respective locations for the time being,” he
told her through gritted teeth, eyes narrowed.
“Have it your way,” she sighed, “I’ve been getting quite a lot of that lately…
The ‘Prophet’ has a way of making me seem rather an unruly character these
days- Not that they have a clue!” she shook her head, eyes darting back to his
face with a matching wide and crazed smile, “Your lovely wifey at home?”
“Never you mind,” he pressed, “Get on with it, will you?”
She made the same ‘tisk, tisk’ sound with her tongue, slowly shaking her head,
“A man ready to get down to business! The Dark Lord does value such ideals. You
and the missus are Aurors, and thankfully, Pure-Bloods it would appear,” she
continued, “The purity of blood has always been prized greatly by the Dark
Lord, and he awards loyalty with immeasurable wealth and prestige within his
ranks- You both could go far! Very far indeed… We are seeking to supplement our
existing forces with well-bred witches and wizards, as well as a few less
desirable others…” the last bit coming out a mumble of sorts, “I have been
entrusted with finding and informing specifically mentioned individuals-
Mentioned by He, the most powerful of wizards, the Dark Lord himself, of his
insistence that they see the true benefits in joining the side which seeks a
new and brighter future for all of the Wizarding World! The Dark Lord is a very
patient and just leader. He values like-minded individuals seeking to free
themselves from the backwards ideals that the current Ministry of Magic holds
in an archaic fashion. You, Frank Longbottom, as well as your missus, Alice
Longbottom, have come to his attention as primary candidates for supplementing
his ranks. You would be welcomed with open arms into our factions, not as lowly
Death Eaters either, but members of valued assets and ideals. Your lineage is
something that is greatly valued, as well as your abilities as Magical Law
Enforcement and the uses you may serve us within the Ministry as well.”
“And if we were to refuse?”
She clamped her jaw shut, a frown overcoming her features, “You would seek to
deny the great honor of being sought by the Dark Lord? He personally formed
this list of worthy individuals he wishes to have join his ranks… To deny him-
To refuse him would be something unheard of… It would be a slight of such
magnitude that he could not easily overlook!” she lowered her voice again, “And
you, whom have already imprisoned countless members of our cause to the
Fortress Azkaban, and interrogated and removed ‘traitors’ suspected within the
Ministry of Magic itself.”
“All of which has been proven! What else have you to say, Mrs. Lestrange?”
Her eyes darted in the direction of the two women concealed behind the wall
separating the entry from the living room of the house, filling Frank with a
building sense of dread and unease, “Your missus is pregnant, am I right?”
Alice stared at Lily with surprise and fear in her eyes.
“It would be a shame to see her not live long enough to bear you a Pure-Blood
heir,” Bellatrix continued, “A babe truly worthy of a place within the new
world as sought by the Dark Lord. My Cissy, my youngest sister is too with
child… A child worthy of the world in which we fight for!”
Frank was finding it harder and harder to hold his tongue, to resist the
building urge to slam the door in her face. It was undeniable that her
discovery of their home was unsettling, not to mention her threat towards the
viability of Alice’s pregnancy, considering her ongoing troubles with morning
sickness, and inability to continue at the Auror’s Office.
“Ah, but need I press you further?” she continued, stepping closer to the crack
in the doorway, “It is not just you and your wife that I seek… No, the Dark
Lord has also insured that I seek a missus Lily Evans Potter.” She smiled at
seeing the budding sense of unease creep into his features, “You seem to have
guessed correctly that I know she is staying here with the two of you… Her
filthy Mudblood status is not something I would prize within such noble ranks
as the Death Eaters, but the Dark Lord has assured that there is a place for
her within our cause as well- At least for the time being. Should she prove
herself unworthy or untrustworthy, I will not hesitate to exterminate her just
like the rest of her pitiful race.”
“Get out.”
“You would deny the Dark Lord-?”
“I said, get the fuck out of here!”
“You and your wife will have defied him thrice!” she shouted, eyes wild, just
as crazed as her curly dark hair.
“GET THE FUCK OUT!!!” and with his last bellowing shout, he slammed the door in
her face, his chest heaving as he stared at the thick wood separating them.
A silence settled for a moment, Lily and Alice stepping out from behind the
wall, and just over the threshold into the entry of the house. Frank shot them
both a look of apology for his outburst at the unsuspected visitor, knuckles
white on the hand that still tightly clutched his wand.
“Your rejection of this generous offer will not be forgotten,” the sing-song
voice of Bellatrix Lestrange called through the heavy door, “The Dark Lord does
not forget such offences as those executed by the likes of you! Watch your
backs, Longbottoms… We will seek you out when you least expect it. That goes
double for the filthy Mudblood you keep in your company!” She cackled a loud a
blood-chilling laugh, “I do love a good game of Hide and Seek…”
Chapter End Notes
     Damn her, that evil Bellatrix Lestrange.
     Also, holy cow! Over 1000 hits!
     I am so thankful to each and every one of you.
     Thank you so much for joining me on this adventure so far!
     Song of inspiration:
     Immigrant_Song_-_Trent_Reznor,_Atticus_Ross,_&_Karen_O
***** Prophecy: Part I *****
Chapter Summary
     Forced into a purgatory plagued with thoughts of the past, and what
     to do with his future, Severus must decide where his loyalties truly
     lie.
     What will he do when the information the Dark Lord so desperately
     seeks is placed at his feet?
Chapter Notes
     Somewhat graphic descriptions of abuse in this chapter- Please know
     your own limitations. I don't want anyone to feel uncomfortable.
     There are portions of this twelfth chapter taken directly from the
     brilliant J. K. Rowling in her fifth book, Harry Potter & The Order
     of the Phoenix.
See the end of the chapter for more notes
    “Stars, hide your fires; Let not light see my black and deep desires.”
                             -William Shakespeare
                                [cloudy night]

February_of_1980_-_Severus_Snape
Despite the quaint and peaceful nature of the tiny village of Hogsmeade,
Severus found himself often sinking into a familiar melancholy. He had never
enjoyed the visits that they had been permitted during his time at Hogwarts,
partially due to the unspoken probability that he would be attacked by the
Marauders if they managed to cross paths. His life had not been an easy one-
Not that anyone’s ever truly was, however, he couldn’t help but feel somewhat
jaded when it came to his luck.
Lily had always been a shining symbol of hope when it came to a future, but
even her older sister, Petunia Evans, had managed to dampen some of their
encounters in the early years. The auburn-haired witch had been a godsend of
sorts when he first learned of her talents. Up until then, all he had was the
unfortunate life in Spinner’s End with his alcoholic father and broken-shell of
a mother. Things had been as such for as long as he could remember… His father
unemployed and taking all his frustrations out upon his wife and son. Try as he
might, Severus could not remember the first time his father had cursed his
mother with abusive language, or finally began hitting her with the intention
of ‘shutting her up.’ Over time, Tobias Snape hadn’t even sought to hit her in
those discreet locations that meant neighbors and strangers alike wouldn’t be
privy to the abuse in their home. It was not unusual to find his mother
sporting two blackened eyes or a fresh purple bruise in the shape of his
father’s hand and fingers around her arms or even her neck. The first time he
had stood up to his father had also been the first time he had been dealt the
physical side of his abuse. Despite the screams of his mother, Eileen Prince,
his father had taken hold of him by a fistful of hair, and swung him with a
shattering force into a nearby wall. Tobias’ face had been inches away, the
scent of stale and sour alcohol permeating Severus’ senses with a nauseating
effect. He had been thrown to the floor, his shirt wrenched up over his head,
arms still remaining within the shirtsleeves.
“Don’t hurt him, please! Please, Tobias-!”
Severus punched a nearby wall in the disgusting safe house he was forced to
call home. Eyes closed tightly, body numb to the pain that forced its way into
his hand from the collision dealt to the crumbling walls. He was again numb,
just like when his father would undo the metal clasp of his belt buckle, and
pull the leather strap free from his pant loops, an evil grin plastered across
his face. A face that his mother had insisted upon reminding Severus was so
very similar to that of his own… That was the insufferable muggle part of him
that had made him an outcast even to those in his own House at Hogwarts. Tobias
had started slowly at first, eventually building to the nearly unfathomable
cruelty that he would later unleash. More times than Severus could count, his
father would first slap his mother with a deafening strike from the back of his
hand, before lashing his son’s bare back with the leather strap of his belt,
eventually moving into the depravity that included the hard metal buckle and
its scarring collisions. He was always beat until the blood flowed freely, his
mother’s sobs echoing throughout the squalor of their home, his father’s huffs
of exertion slowly fading as he left them upon the floor, searching out more
liquor.
Though initially greeted well enough by his Slytherin Housemates, conversations
had quickly evolved into who’s family had the longest ‘untainted’ blood lines,
and whom shared the most impressive ancestors and claims to the Wizarding
World. As far as he knew, there was not one Muggle-born student that had ever
found themselves sorted into the House which laid claim to the supremacist
founder, Salazar Slytherin. Even he had been something of a minority when it
came to being Half-Blood, his mother’s relation to the Pure-Blood Prince’s his
only saving grace. Making friends had never been easy for Severus, and matters
had been only been made worse when Lily had been sorted into Gryffindor, the
long held school rivals of his own House. To make matters worse, she had found
herself within the constant company of the same two boys who had sought to
bully him from the very beginning of their journey upon the scarlet Hogwarts
Express- James Potter and Sirius Black. Severus and Lily had maintained their
friendship for longer than most would have tried- Ties from their years prior
to Hogwarts keeping their bond strong. But the undeniable stares and whispers
from their peers had been exhausting, and then that incident where he had let
‘Mudblood’ slip. He had cursed himself for such a stupid transgression, the
rest having been history, with Avery and Mulciber having praised his slur
towards his once best friend.
“Filthy Mudblood! Stupid of her to think she could even speak in your
presence!”
“You’ll find someone worthy of your Blood-status soon enough!”
He had wanted to hex them both more than anything else in the world. What did
they know? He had just made the biggest mistake of his life- He had lost her.
He had thrown away years of friendship and the closest thing to love he had
ever really known, all because of one moment of rage… One moment where he had
been so blinded and tired of the constant mistreatment in his life, that he had
finally, and seemingly irreparably, hurt himself by such ill-treatment of the
one person who had always shown him kindness and respect. She had changed in
that instant, and it had appeared that she would never look at him the same, or
even acknowledge his existence ever again.
But she had come back.
With Lily’s reemergence into his life, Severus had found himself unexpectedly
pulled in two very different directions. One part of him was insistent that it
was all a mistake. That Lily was merely seeking his company because she knew he
had long pined for her- He was an easy replacement for James Potter, when all
she really sought was a rebound to once again stand firmly upon her feet. She
had told him all those years before that she wanted nothing to do with him
anymore. That he had made his decision, and that she could not- Would not watch
him ruin his life if it meant dedicating himself to the Dark Arts so fully that
he would even consider joining the Dark Lord’s cause. But then the other part
of him would chime in. She was his oldest friend. Lily Evans had always stood
up for what was right and been a loving and kind person. Even in that instance
where he would arguably make the worst decision of his life, he could not deny
the obvious facts-
“Leave him ALONE!” Lily had shouted as she stepped forward from the lake edge,
her auburn curls whipping in the breeze, almond-shaped green eyes narrowed in
anger. She had observed James cast ‘Scourgify,’ and all the pink soap bubbles
that had streamed from Severus’ mouth at once; the froth covering his lips,
making him gag, choking him-
“All right, Evans?” said James, the tone of his voice suddenly pleasant,
deeper, more mature.
“Leave him alone,” She repeated, looking at James with every sign of great
dislike. “What’s he done to you?”
“Well,” said James, appearing to deliberate the point, “It’s more the fact that
he exists, if you know what I mean…”
“You think you’re funny,” she said coldly, “But you’re just an arrogant,
bullying toerag, Potter. Leave him alone.”
“I will if you go out with me, Evans,” said James quickly. “Go on… Go out with
me, and I’ll never lay a wand on old Snivelly again.”
“I wouldn’t go out with you if it was a choice between you and the giant
squid.”
She had stood up for him, even though he had been made a fool of by the
Marauders once again. Remus Lupin, a Prefect, had just sat idly aside,
seemingly absorbed in his reading, turning a blind eye to the mindless bullying
of his best friends. But Lily, she had always taken her role as a Prefect
seriously, and not only that, but deplored the mistreatment of others for no
reason other than the fact that someone disliked them based on appearance.
There had been no denying that Severus had sought the expelling of the
Marauders on multiple occasions, but always as retaliation for the emboldened
bullying that they regularly bestowed upon him. There was question about the
obvious dislike between the five young men, but when it was unprovoked
attacking, Lily couldn’t just stand by and watch. Especially when it was
something so mindlessly absurd as four on one. She had been the only one
willing to stand up and say something. The only one who cared enough to defend
him when countless others sat by and laughed. Even after things had escalated,
with him hexing James with ‘Sectumsempra,’ and then being embarrassingly hung
upside down in the air… Even after James Potter had dropped him back to the
ground in a crumpling force, followed by Sirius’ addition of ‘Locomotor
morits,’ Lily had not backed down.
“LEAVE HIM ALONE!” she had shouted, her own wand out now, James and Sirius
eyeing it warily.
“Ah, Evans, don’t make me hex you,” James had said earnestly.
“Take the curse off him, then!”
“There you go,” James had sighed, muttering the counter curse, “You’re lucky
Evans was here Snivellus-“
And then Severus had made the worst decision- The one true regret of his life.
But, remarkably, even after having uttered such a horrible thing… A word he had
heard thrown about his Common Room more times than he could count, though never
uttered by himself, before that very moment in his life, yet Lily still
surprised him. Despite James’ roaring demands that he apologize, Lily had come
back with a noble retort all her own.
“I don’t want you to make him apologize,” she had shouted, “You’re as bad as he
is…”
“What? I’d NEVER call you a – you-know-what!”
“Messing up your hair because you think it looks cool to look like you’ve just
got off your broomstick, showing off with that stupid Snitch, walking down
corridors and hexing anyone who annoys you just because you can- I’m surprised
your broomstick can get off the ground with that fat head on it. You make me
SICK.”
Despite her feelings at the time, Lily had gone on to marry that leader of the
Marauders, James Potter. The very same boy whom she had claimed ‘made her
sick.’ It had been a hard pill to swallow, but Severus had accepted it… What
choice did he have? For years he had fought the torment of losing her
friendship, of losing the secret hope that she would one day love him. He tried
relentlessly to replace his feelings of loss with anger- Something masked
momentarily with his dedication to the Death Eaters and the supremacist cause
that most of his former Slytherin Housemates had pledged themselves to after
finishing their seventh-year of schooling. It had all been in vain. None of it
but a bandage pretending to heal a wound that would never heal. He loved her,
he always had. And with her new return into his life, the way in which she
looked at him, he knew that his answer had long been made up. He would have to
change sides. He would do anything if it meant the happiness and future that a
life with Lily symbolized.
===============================================================================
The thatched roofs of the cottages of Hogsmeade were still piled high with
snow, the crisp mountain air clean, though almost painfully cold when it filled
one’s lungs. With the recommencing of classes for the latest term at Hogwarts
School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, the village found itself quiet, serenely so,
as the magical inhabitants went about their usual meanderings with the hope of
the spring snowmelt fresh in all of their minds.
Severus had seen to his dark task bestowed upon him by the Dark Lord. He had
been given little to go on, and tracking Albus Dumbledore was certainly no
simple task. Everyone with a shred of magical upbringing had grown up hearing
about the Headmaster’s famous confrontation with Gellert Grindelwald. Their
standoff had occurred in 1945, a duel legendary in its intensity for the
vanquishing of a Dark Wizard who, until recently, had been considered one of
the most dangerous and despicable of all time. He had been imprisoned in his
fortress at Nurmengard, originally constructed to house his own opponents.
Grindelwald’s slogan, ‘For the Greater Good,’ which had long been carved upon
the exterior, was given a whole new meaning when he was finally locked inside-
The world saved from his dark plans. Any fear that Europe, or the rest of the
Wizarding World may have felt towards the original Dark Wizard, was dwarfed
with the steady rise of Voldemort. Thus, Albus Dumbledore was an intimidating
individual that it would not do well to be over-confident in tailing for
information.
So far he had only caught a glimpse of his former Headmaster twice. Not the
most encouraging prospect for nearly three weeks of work. On both occasions he
was either coming or going from The Three Broomsticks Inn, most likely having a
drink in the company of Madam Rosmerta. However, on the last of those
sightings, he had overheard one promising bit of information- Certainly his
best opportunity as of late.
“I suppose I won’t be seeing you for quite some time, Albus- “
“I have an interview for the Divination post in a fortnight,” he had told her
with that usual twinkle in his bright blue eyes, “I might stop in to say
‘hello’ if I have the time.”
Madam Rosmerta had stifled a laugh, “I thought you were planning on ridding
Hogwarts of that poppycock?!”
“As did I,” he had told her kindly, “However, this particular individual has
persuaded me that if there is any hope in the subject continuing, that I had
best give her at least an hour of my time.”
“Well, good luck!” she had called with her usual smile, “I can set one of the
rooms aside if you wish to meet with the candidate here?”
He shook his head, “She has requested The Hog’s Head Inn, I’m afraid… Not
exactly my first choice, but who am I to refuse?”
It hadn’t been much, but it had been something. Unfortunately, that had also
meant another miserable two weeks spent in the pitiful excuse of a house on the
outskirts of Hogsmeade. How Severus yearned to complete the task so that he
might return to his much more comfortable existence of camping throughout the
countryside of England, or even to the old house on Spinner's End. More than
that, he longed for the feel of Lily's smooth, soft, fair skin- And warmth that
her body offered him when she was laying naked beside him. It already seemed
uncomfortably like a distant memory, the silken feel of her red hair, and the
smell of the lavender oil she bathed with. He had to get back to her. And, he
hoped, that this would be the last time they would be forced to be parted. If
all went well, he might also be faced with a new life, potentially not in the
service of the Dark Lord. It was hard to imagine, and only time would tell if
he might be successful or not.
His feet sunk into the freezing slush as he made his way through the darkened
village of Hogsmeade to the less-than reputable establishment on the opposite
end of the town. He passed by the darkened windows of Madam Puddifoot’s Tea
Shop, Honeydukes, and the favored destination of the Marauder’s- Zonko’s Joke
Shop. Apart from a few bundled up individuals heading for their homes, the
streets were utterly deserted. He pulled his own black traveling cloak tighter
around him, the chill of the wind seeping into his very skin and bones beneath.
A dim light illuminated the windows of The Hog’s Head Inn; not nearly as
prominent or inviting as one might have found The Three Broomsticks. Then
again, the seedier establishment had never been known for attracting the kind
of clientele that sought an experience by means of exquisite meal and company.
No, if you were dealing in less-than legal activities, or seeking to go
unremembered while taking a quick stop in Hogsmeade, you would be far more
inclined to visit the less reputable business.
With a shove of the door he found himself inside, about ten or so others
scattered throughout the lower barroom space. Behind the bar, there was no
buxom witch with an enchanting smile- Instead, a broad-shouldered man of quite
an impressive height, with a long and tangled grey beard, and two brilliantly
blue eyes. He would occasionally look up and glance about the room,
periodically grunting his understanding when one of his patrons sought to order
another drink. Most of the time he focused intently upon wiping down his
various tankards and glasses behind the bar with a seemingly filthy rag, paying
no one much attention. Hung high above him, close to the cobwebbed rafters, was
the namesake of the establishment, the enormous mounted head of a hog, its
tusks a dusty ivory, beady glass eyes unseeing, mounted upon a shield-shaped
board. When Severus had stepped within, he quickly shrugged off any accumulated
melting snow from the outside, briefly stomping his shoes to rid them of the
additional slushy-wetness. His black hair was a mess, damp and tangled, falling
all about his head in disarray, partly obscuring his vision. He went to the
fire across the space, warming his hands in the radiating heat, snowflakes
melting in his dark beard- Still unshaved from before seeing Lily in the Forest
of Dean. He looked like no one; he had effectively become no one. He would not
be easily recognized, and that was good enough for the time being.
“Firewhisky,” he grunted to the imposing barman, voice sounding nothing like
his usual even, deep drawl.
The grey-bearded man grumbled something incomprehensible, setting a shotglass
filled with amber liquid upon the bar. He then ignited the fluid, a yellow-
orange flame crawling across the surface. The little glow set deep shadows upon
Severus’ face, and he frowned, turning from the man with the drink in his hand.
He downed it in one gulp, setting the glass back down upon the bar, face not
betraying the strength of the drink. He instantly felt warmed, the heat of the
concoction heating him thoroughly, as it slithered down and into his stomach.
As much as he hated liquor for what it had turned his father into, Severus
drank sparingly when it was expected. And for this role, this location, this
very moment in time, it only made sense that he should have at least one drink
to fit in with the surrounding crowd. If he hadn’t, he would certainly have
stuck out like a sore-thumb.
“A sickle,” the barman told him.
Without turning around, Severus laid the silver piece upon the counter,
striding away to a table bathed in shadows and silvery cobwebs. It was at the
foot of the creaky staircase that led to the second floor of the place; the
perfect spot to wait for his most opportune moment.
How would he go about it?
Would Dumbledore even want to hear what it was that he had to say?
The man had long held the Marauders in a favorable light throughout their
shared time at Hogwarts- A fact that Severus Snape had never truly forgotten.
All of those times that something had happened between them, there had always
been an excuse or a reason behind the bullying, the broken bones and
lacerations… Not to mention the bruised ego that he had always been left with.
Four on one… Or at least three on one, in ninety percent of the situations.
Remus Lupin had never been one to be quite as callous as the other three
Gryffindors he associated with, and being a Prefect had allowed him an easy-out
from their usual shenanigans. It had not, on any instance, ever stopped his
friends, James Potter, Sirius Black, or Peter Pettigrew, from tormenting
Severus incessantly and at every turn or opportunity. To the Professors at the
school, it had always been just another instance of ‘boys being boys,’ though
the incident with the Whomping Willow had finally proven something different.
With Sirius Black’s dark practical joke of showing Severus the means to subdue
the violent tree, he had put the Slytherin’s very existence at risk- But not
just his life, his humanity.
Much to Severus’ distaste, he had been forced to thank James Potter for saving
him from the fully transformed werewolf that resided at the end of the earthen
tunnel- The very same Prefect, Remus Lupin. It had been the beginning of the
end for his relationship with Lily; the truth of Remus' true genetics a
required secret, that Dumbledore had insisted remain concealed under threat of
expulsion. To make matters worse, Severus had also been forced to show James
some gratitude... A bitter pill to swallow when dealing with his worst enemy.
It wasn’t long after those events that his worst memory had occurred, leaving
him alone with only his fellow Slytherin’s for company. It had been the means
of beginning his dedication and focus to the rise of the strongest dark wizard
the world had yet known… A focus that would give him meaning when everyone else
had considered him a lost cause, a loser.
He did not want to interrupt Dumbledore in his interview, though he had to make
certain to speak with his former Headmaster, or risk losing an opportunity to
switch allegiances that may never present itself again. Slowly, he rose from
the shadowy table and climbed the steps leading to the second floor rooms.
The hallway was dim, lit by the occasional dirty lamp that cast a dingy yellow
glow upon the peeling wallpaper that adorned the walls. There was an
unmistakable smell of mildew, the floorboards somewhat spongey underfoot in
various places. He had no idea in what room Albus Dumbledore was conducting his
school business, his only hint the slight glow that emerged beneath the doors
lining the hall. Stopping at the first occupied room garnered no new
information. The second and the third were much the same, though the voices
within betrayed nothing to the scholarly tone of the aged wizard. It was the
very last door on the left that was Severus’ last hope. The window at the end
of the hall before him, showed darkness and a flurry of white snow behind it,
the blizzard once again whipping into full-force in the frigid Scottish
Highlands. Pressing the hollow of his ear to the wooden door, he waited,
listening patiently for any indication that he had finally found the right
room.
“Forgive me, but there is nothing more to say,” Dumbledore’s voice stated
calmly and gently, “This has been a very enlightening meeting, and I appreciate
your time… Unfortunately, I feel as though my earlier beliefs on the
continuation of the Divination courses at Hogwarts have been made abundantly
clearer still. I am sure you will find an establishment that appreciates your
talents, Ms. Trelawney, however, I do not feel as though our young wizarding
minds would benefit much from your ‘inner eye,’ or ‘second sight' at this
time."
“Professor, please!”
Severus straightened slightly, the doorknob turning with the impending exit of
his former Headmaster, the door cracking just slightly, “Thank you, again- “
“THE ONE WITH THE POWER TO VANQUISH THE DARK LORD APPROACHES… BORN TO THOSE WHO
HAVE THRICE DEFIED HIM, BORN AS THE SEVENTH MONTH DIES…”
The sound of the formerly ethereal female voice had transformed, quite
suddenly, to one harsh and hoarse; almost as though another being entirely had
spoken forth from her vocal chords.
“What in the buggering hell are you doing up here?!” the gruff voice of the
barman boomed from behind Severus, a large and powerful hand enclosing on the
collar of his black traveling cloak, “Listening in at people’s damned doors-
Have you no respect?! Get out of my place, you worthless git!"
Albus Dumbledore turned for one quick moment, and his strikingly blue eyes,
very like the barman's, stared straight into Severus' dark ones for the
briefest of glances. But before Severus had any opportunity to retort the
accusations of the grey-bearded man, or attempt to speak with his former
Headmaster, he had found himself dragged down the upstairs hallway, and then
the dusty stairs of the building. The front door of The Hog’s Head was flung
open with a burst of frigid wind, and Severus Snape found himself thrown out
into the raging storm beyond.
Chapter End Notes
     Uh-oh...
     Your song for this installment, another favorite:
     Heart_Shaped_Glasses_-_Marilyn_Manson
***** Prophecy: Part II *****
Chapter Summary
     Albus Dumbledore has returned to Hogwarts after the two week holiday
     break.
     As always in life, not everything is as it seems...
Chapter Notes
     There are portions of this thirteenth chapter taken directly from the
     brilliant J. K. Rowling in her fifth book, Harry Potter & The Order
     of the Phoenix, as well as her sixth book, Harry Potter & The Half
     Blood Prince.
See the end of the chapter for more notes
      “Greatness inspires envy, envy engenders spite, spite spawns lies.”

                              -Tom Marvolo Riddle
                                 [snowflakes]
February_of_1980_-_Albus_Dumbledore
The holiday break from the usual coursework at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft
and Wizardry had been a blessing for more than just the students belonging to
the four Houses. Though normally content to his duties as Headmaster of such an
ancient and noble institution, Albus Dumbledore had felt his mind wandering
more and more often as of late. The silence from both the Dark Lord and his
Death Eaters had left him feeling just as perplexed as the other members of the
Order of the Phoenix, the growing sense of unease hard to suppress. Tom Riddle
had always been a fascinating boy, both amazingly talented with a natural
ability when it came to learning all things magical, and yet displaying an
undeniable propensity for the Dark Arts that delved far deeper than a boyish
curiosity. Those same traits had been remarkably parallel to another youth that
Albus had himself associated with many decades earlier- Gellart Grindelwald. In
their young and informative years, they had, themselves sought a world not
unlike the one Tom, now Lord Voldemort, hoped to bring to fruition.
Ariana had been the end of his involvement…
A painful accident that could never be taken back.
He sighed, hand stroking through the long coarse hairs of his beard, mind
drifting far away to memories and thoughts he wished were anything but true. It
had taken years and years for Aberforth to speak to him again… His only living
relative, his brother no less. Allowing oneself to meddle in things such as the
power of the Dark Arts could never bring happiness. Albus Dumbledore felt that
he understood that fact better than most. What Tom Riddle hoped to achieve,
what he sought through his wicked acts could never be understood by the
Headmaster. He had met the boy when he still resided in Wool’s Orphanage in
London. It had been he, back when his beard was still a youthful auburn, who
had revealed to the youth that he was ‘special,’ that he would have a place to
learn and safely study the gift that he had been bestowed from birth.
“I know you are not mad,” he had explained calmly, “Hogwarts is not a school
for mad people. It is a school of magic.”
“Magic?” Tom had repeated in a whisper.
“That’s right.”
“It’s… It’s magic, what I can do?”
“What is it that you can do?”
“All sorts,” Tom had breathed, a flush of excitement rising up his neck and
into his hollow cheeks, “I can make things move without touching them. I can
make animals so what I want them to do, without training them. I can make bad
things happen to people who annoy me. I can make them hurt if I want to… I knew
I was different, I knew I was special. Always, I knew there was something.”
But even from that first meeting, it had been apparent that something was off
about the boy. Try as he might, Albus found himself having a hard time not
keeping a watchful eye upon him during his time at Hogwarts. It would prove, at
least in this case, that his first impression had indeed been a correct one. He
had no doubt, though he was unable to prove it, that Tom Riddle had been the
true opener of Salazar Slytherin’s Chamber of Secrets during his time at the
school. A fact that had led to the unfair expulsion of the half-giant, Hagrid.
There was no doubt in his mind that Armando Dippet had acted out of reaction
when presuming that a creature such as an Acromantula was the reason behind the
unfortunate death of Myrtle Warren- Moaning Myrtle. All of the signs, including
Tom’s earlier revelation from that same first encounter, had led Albus to
believe that the boy might indeed be the heir of the most opinionated founder
at their school, a strong believer in the purity of bloodlines.
“I can speak to snakes. I found out when we’ve been to the country on trips-
They find me; they whisper to me. Is that normal for a wizard?”
There was no way of knowing what was hidden in the bowels of the school- What
dark dangers Salazar Slytherin had left behind with the intent of ‘cleansing’
the school of unworthy blood… Apart from whomever had opened the secret
passageway, no one knew where to even begin to seek such a location. If the
ghost of Miss Warren had any idea, she was certainly still too emotional and of
no mind to speak the answer to such inquiries. It was most likely a serpent of
some sort, a creature left to slumber until awakened by the true heir of its
original master… A dark nightmare nearly one thousand years old.
Tom Marvolo Riddle had disappeared shortly after his education had concluded at
Hogwarts, reappearing some twenty years later to inquire about the open posting
for Defense Against the Dark Arts. Albus Dumbledore had struggled to maintain
composure when faced with his former pupil. Tom had long been a handsome lad,
tall and fit, with well-kept jet-black hair, and undisputable good looks. He
had always been deeply focused upon his education, never seeking the
distraction of young love like so many of his peers. That dedication to his
magical studies led him to become first Prefect, and then Head Boy. A feat not
overlooked by his Head of House, Horace Slughorn, who also made the boy a
starring feature in his bourgeoning Slug Club. But twenty years had transformed
the once strikingly handsome youth into an indistinguishable figure. Dark magic
and evil wanderings often led to such changes, and it was nothing short of
staggering in its severity.
He closed his eyes, remembering the memory that Horace Slughorn had long ago
allowed him to view, knowing fully well that it had been tampered with.
“Sir, I wondered what you know about… About Horcruxes?”
“I don’t know anything about Horcruxes and I wouldn’t tell you if I did! Now
get out of here at once and don’t let me catch you mentioning them again!”
He sighed, knowing full well that it could only be something so horrible as the
aforementioned that might succeed in transforming a person so completely- Into
a mere shadow of their former self. He could only hope that Horace had not
divulged too much, and that with time he might actually reveal the truth behind
the obscured portions of the memory he had shared. Albus could also only pray
that he had succeeded in removing ‘Secrets of the Darkest Art’ from the
restricted section of the library before Tom had been able to read its
contents. Why had they ever allowed such a book to be in the school’s
possession? It seemed an unfathomable prospect that he couldn’t help but
question his predecessors for allowing… If they even knew.
Returning to the meetings of the Order of the Phoenix proved a pleasant
distraction at least. Unfortunately, they all seemed plagued with much the same
questioning as to the current motives and whereabouts of the rebellious cause.
One thing had caught him off guard, and that was the absence of one of their
most dedicated members- Lily Evans. He did not wish to pry, and could tell from
the look on her husband, James Potter’s face, that it might not be the best
subject to broach in the company of the whole of their numbers. A passing
conversation revealed to him their separation, though not the extent of such- A
detail of which he did not seek to know, for it was none of his business. He
was informed that she was staying with Frank and Alice Longbottom in London. He
had then proceeded to question Frank, though not too pointedly, merely seeking
the knowledge that Lily’s life was not in danger. It seemed to not be, from the
information that was passed to him, though he was not certain of how truthful
the answer had really been… A factor that he was not sure if the Auror was
directly responsible for, or if it was, in fact, Lily’s own doing. She had
every right to seek her own privacy, though he couldn’t help but feel a twinge
of unease for the safety of his former pupil, the once Prefect, and later Head
Girl during her time at Hogwarts.
He had not managed to see Lily during the two weeks that he attended meetings
with Order members, though had been assured of her return by Frank Longbottom
during their last meeting- Shortly before his return to the Scottish Highlands.
It was a shame he couldn’t see her with his own eyes to make certain of her
safety… Anyone coming from muggle-born origins was certainly at risk these
days, and he only sought her shelter from the supremacist storm that raged
seemingly everywhere. It had been that same evening that he had received a
written request from one Sybill Trelawney- Also a former student, seeking an
interview for the available post of Divination Professor.
It had taken every bit of reservation to not condescend or ignore such a
request… His personal feelings being hard to set aside in regards to the
ludicrous subject, that was frankly- Hogwash. But, Sybill could, quite
possibly, possess the same abilities as her Great-Great-Grandmother Cassandra
Trelawney. There was the faintest chance, faintest! And for such a reason, he
had felt himself obliged to allow her the opportunity to interview for the
post. If the rumors were true, Seers often did pass their skills down through
generations, and with one so famous as Cassandra Trelawney in their heritage,
he felt that it was worth a shot. However, that did not mean he believed
anything would come of it! In fact, no generations between the pair seemed to
have a shred of the ‘inner eye’ or ‘second sight’ that Cassandra was renowned
for. Even Sybill had been an average student during her time at Hogwarts… Never
once had she given him or a colleague the impression of her possible possession
of such aptitudes. If she proved false in her claims, he would politely decline
her services. It was a simple fact.
It was on the very day that he had received her response that he found himself
seated in The Three Broomsticks chatting idly with Madam Rosmerta. Though he
didn’t fear sharing with her his disappointment in regards to Sybill’s choice
at meeting across the small village at The Hog’s Head Inn, he kept one fact a
secret… He felt as though he was being watched. On both occasions that he had
ventured into Hogsmeade since returning to his post, he had the faintest tickle
at the back of his head that could only mean eyes following him through his
trivial wanderings. He knew well enough that the feeling stopped as soon as he
had returned to the Hogwarts grounds, which left him even more convinced of the
seemingly unseen presence. But when he thought ‘unseen,’ he knew better than to
assume Potter, Black, Pettigrew, or Lupin. While the boys had certainly
utilized the Potter family heirloom of the mysterious Invisibility Cloak during
their tenure at Hogwarts, this was something altogether different. This was an
individual, he was certain of it, that was carefully monitoring his movements.
But to what gain? And for whom?
Lord Voldemort was the obvious answer, albeit a rash conclusion.
“I suppose I won’t be seeing you for quite some time, Albus- “ Madam Rosmerta
had smiled to him as he opened the door to take his leave.
“I have an interview for the Divination post in a fortnight… I might stop in to
say ‘hello’ if I have the time.”
She had stifled a laugh, “I thought you were planning on ridding Hogwarts of
that poppycock?!”
“As did I,” he told her kindly, “However, this particular individual has
persuaded me that if there is any hope in the subject continuing, that I had
best give her at least an hour of my time.”
“Well, good luck!” she had called with her usual smile, “I can set one of the
rooms aside if you wish to meet with the candidate here?”
He shook his head, “She has requested The Hog’s Head Inn, I’m afraid… Not
exactly my first choice, but who am I to refuse?”
Albus Dumbledore had barely stepped outside into the momentary sunshine, when
he caught a fleeting glimpse through squinted eyes of the swirl of a black
cloak disappearing behind a nearby building just within his peripheral vision.
He frowned, brow furrowing slightly, his instincts clearly having pointed him
to the correct conclusion of being watched. He proceeded upon his walk back to
the castle with a slow and leisurely pace, not willing to seem nervous from the
recent observation. The individual probably didn’t realize that they had been
glimpsed, which led him right back to his initial suspicion as to the source.
It was just as he was crossing the barrier of Hogwarts’ protective field that
he paused for the briefest of moments, bending to brush a well-placed tangle
from his robes. It was enough of a moment to peek at the edge of the nearest
building from the corner of his eye. Though not the most ideal of glimpses, he
caught the briefest of looks at the wizard who had been tailing him. Black
robes, tall and thin, longer dark hair, and a heavy beard to match. He couldn’t
see the eyes, nor would they have revealed much, though there was no mistaking
the angle of the jaw, or the aquiline nose.
Severus Snape.
===============================================================================
Albus had made it a point to avoid The Hog’s Head Inn whenever possible. It
wasn’t so much that he sought to dodge an encounter with his younger brother,
Aberforth, on the contrary, he understood explicitly how much they both valued
their own space. Though hardly able to call one another friends, they could at
least tolerate a few moments of necessary conversation when it was required of
them. There were hardly two wizards that had less in common, or held more
unspoken words between them, but on the matter of the Order of the Phoenix,
they could always find common ground and agree. When Tom Riddle had returned to
Hogwarts after his long absence, seeking the Defense Against the Dark Arts
posting for the second time, it had been Aberforth who had informed Albus of
the Death Eaters waiting for their master’s summons from the shadows of the
seedy Hogsmeade bar. A well-kept secret between the pair, their relationship
occasionally proved quite beneficial.
At precisely seven-thirty in the evening, Albus Dumbledore knocked upon the
door at the end of the narrow hallway on the second floor of The Hog’s Head
Inn, having managed to slip past the downstairs patrons unnoticed, his presence
only known to his brother who was occupied with the bar and customers below.
There was rustling within, followed by a fumbling of the doorknob, as the door
was pulled open to reveal an eccentric witch with frizzy dirty-blonde hair, and
eyes magnified to an enormous size behind her oversized glasses. She hiccupped
upon seeing him, a blush of nervous-embarrassment crawling up her neck and
cheeks.
“Good evening,” he nodded to her, “Sybill Trelawney, it has been quite some
time.”
She stepped aside to usher him into the space, a room not worth mentioning for
its furnishings or adornments. She had pulled up two rickety chairs to a
nightstand that was draped in vibrant plum-colored fabric, a crystal ball set
atop the uneven piece of furniture. She was a homely woman, small of frame, her
common robes made all the more ornate with the addition of multiple shawls
draped over her shoulders, as well as various gold and silver chains hanging
from her neck, one adorned with a large piece of rose quartz. Every finger of
her hands had some kind of ring on it, whether studded with a gem or plain.
Bangles jangled around her wrists, and she smelled strongly of cooking sherry.
He could tell she was anxious by the way her eyes kept darting around the room,
to everything they could focus upon, except him.
“I foresaw that you would be on time,” she managed, voice cracking.
“Would that be because I am punctual?” he thought to himself, “Or perhaps
because she heard my footsteps upon the stairs or the creaky floorboards of the
hallway outside of her room?”
Now, now, Albus.
“This crystal ball belonged to my Great-Great-Grandmother,” she continued,
moving to one of the chairs, hands lightly moving above and around the heirloom
object, “We could begin there… Or perhaps with tea leaves-!”
“Calm yourself, Sybill,” he said not unkindly, sitting in the empty seat
directly opposite of her, “You need not even make a prediction of any kind… I
am here merely to speak with you as to your qualifications, and what brought
about your interest in joining the Hogwarts faculty.”
“Divination, sir!” she breathed, eyes widening even more- He had thought it
impossible until seeing it, “The great art of my ancestress, the famed Seer,
Cassandra Trelawney.”
He nodded, jaw clenched tightly.
“I have traveled near and far since leaving Hogwarts, my abilities with the
inherited ‘inner eye’ leading to successful readings to countless witches and
wizards… My ‘second sight’ has never led me astray yet.”
She seemed desperate, painfully so.
“What kinds of predictions have you made, if I may ask?”
“All types!” she exclaimed, an awkward smile spreading across her lips,
“Fortune, fame, beauty, romance- “
He held up his hand to stop her, shaking his head, “My dear, how many have
actually come to fruition?”
Her jaw clamped shut at once, a slight tremor appearing in the muscles of her
jaw. There it was. Just from that change, from the diversion of her eyes, he
knew the truth all at once. She had been using the name of her paternal
ancestor in order to garner a following, a fame of sorts. She clearly lacked
the abilities herself, desperate as she might be to possess that same aptitude
of legend. It was evident that she was riding the coattails of Cassandra
Trelawney in order to bring about some sense of productivity to her life, even
if it meant falsely ‘seeing’ the future and conning unsuspecting wizards and
witches out of their well-earned silver and gold. Just as he had suspected.
“P- P- Professor?” she squeaked, color draining from her face.
He rose from the chair, “Unfortunately, it would seem that we may have already
reached an impasse of sorts… I am glad that I could give you this opportunity,
Sybill. You certainly deserved as much, given your background. I should be
heading back to the castle.”
“B- B- But wait! You should at least allow me to read your palm, or bring out
my tarot cards!”
“Forgive me, but there is nothing more to say,” he stated calmly and gently,
“This has been a very informative meeting, and I appreciate your time…
Unfortunately, I feel as though my earlier beliefs on the continuation of the
Divination courses at Hogwarts have been made abundantly clearer still. I am
sure you will find an establishment that appreciates your talents, Ms.
Trelawney, however, I do not feel as though our young wizarding minds would
benefit much from your ‘inner eye,’ or ‘second sight.’”
“Professor, please!”
His hand closed around the doorknob, turning it and making to leave, “Thank
you, again- “
“THE ONE WITH THE POWER TO VANQUISH THE DARK LORD APPROACHES… BORN TO THOSE WHO
HAVE THRICE DEFIED HIM, BORN AS THE SEVENTH MONTH DIES…”
He spun around with shock and surprise at the change which had overcome her,
both physically, and transforming her voice from its once ethereal nature to
one of hoarseness and harshly uttered words. Her eyes were blank and unseeing,
body limp and seemingly possessed. However, this was clearly not the Dark Arts
at play- No, she was actually having a prophecy!
“What in the buggering hell are you doing up here?!” Aberforth’s voice boomed
from the hallway, “Listening at people’s blasted doors- Have you no respect?
Get out of my place you worthless git!”
Albus Dumbledore had turned back around at the sound of his brother’s voice,
eyes locking upon a familiar pair of dark ones just beyond the slightly ajar
door. It was the same figure that had been stalking him from afar on both
previous trips to the little village. Severus Snape had been caught red-handed,
the back of his black traveling cloak tightly gripped by the grey-bearded
Aberforth. There was no time for them to speak, of that much was certain, for
he was already being dragged from his position at the door and most likely to
be ejected from the building within a few moments.
“AND THE DARK LORD WILL MARK HIM AS HIS EQUAL, BUT HE WILL HAVE POWER THE DARK
LORD KNOWS NOT… THE ONE WITH THE POWER TO VANQUISH THE DARK LORD WILL BE BORN
AS THE SEVENTH MONTH DIES…”
It was almost as if it had ended just as quickly as it had suddenly begun, and
the message itself, was monumental in value. How much had he heard? Why had he
been lurking just outside of the door? There had been no way of him knowing
that Sybill Trelawney would actually be able to make a prediction of any kind.
After all, only moments before, Albus had thought she was just as much a fraud
as he had ever seen. Clearly he had been proven wrong. But what of Severus
Snape? Despite the cryptic nature of the prophecy, it was not the sort of thing
one would want shared to Voldemort… Especially when it sought his destruction,
and the means to end his reign of terror upon the Wizarding World. He had seen
something in those dark eyes when briefly locked with his blue ones. He was yet
to know for certain what it actually was, but something led him to believe that
this suspected Death Eater, that this servant of the Dark Lord, might actually
prove valuable to their cause. He had to find him before it was too late-
Presuming he had not already Aparated into the night to the side of his master,
and shared the portion of the prophecy that he had learned.
Sybill Trelawney collapsed into one of the worn chairs that she had set aside
for her interview with her former Headmaster, looking utterly spent and
exhausted from what had just occurred. One glance told him that she had no
recollection of what it was that she had actually divulged… Perhaps not even
realizing that she had even made a true and real prediction at all. She would
need protection, especially if word was to get out that she shared some of the
same talents as those of her ancestress. Much to his disdain, it would appear
that the Divination program would have to continue at Hogwarts, at least a
little while longer.
Chapter End Notes
     Dumbledore and Sev talk in the next chapter...
     How will it go? Also, you will notice that the full prophecy is
     somewhat different than in the original canon. This is, of course,
     intentional.
     Thank you all again for such wonderful support! I love the kudos and
     comments more than I can possibly say! :)
     Song of choice:
     About_A_Girl_-_Nirvana
***** Prophecy: Part III *****
Chapter Summary
     The aftermath of a very telling event.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
                 “What is now proved was once only imagined.”

                                -William Blake
                                     [ice]
Severus returned to the dilapidated house on the outskirts of Hogsmeade with a
decisive ‘pop’ from his Aparating. Once inside he wasted no time in throwing a
long abandoned dining chair against one of the molded walls, breaking it into
multiple pieces. Angry was not even a close enough emotion to describing the
boiling rage that had built inside of him.
“God damn it all!” he shouted, punching the same wall previously bashed with
the chair.
How would he be able to proceed with this new bit of knowledge…? It was
precisely what Voldemort had sought he learn! He hadn’t intended upon following
so completely through with the Dark Lord’s requests- He had hoped to speak with
Albus Dumbledore and find a way out! Yet here he was, hopelessly stuck. He had
been ejected from The Hog’s Head Inn; unable to utter even a single syllable to
his former Headmaster. To make matters worse, it had appeared that he had been
eavesdropping- Not entirely untrue, though not with the intention of sharing
his findings to the Dark Lord. They would never believe him. He was a known
Death Eater, branded with the Dark Mark, the loathsome symbol that did nothing
but pledge his loyalty to the murderous and rebellious cause. He was one of the
three lieutenants- A detail he was certain remained a secret known only to
Lily. What would he do? How could he proceed from this?
The pecking beak upon the nearby window brought about a reality check, and he
strode to the waiting owl and untied the parchment rolled at its ankle. It flew
off immediately, certainly seeking shelter from the blizzard that continued to
rage.
You will return to The Hog’s Head Inn.
Be there in one hour.
-A.P.W.B.D.
Severus torched the document immediately, reducing the parchment to blackened
dust. He felt dread and hope merging within his stomach while he pondered the
potential outcome of the meeting, and what his future might have in store.
===============================================================================
Upon returning to The Hog’s Head Inn, Severus found the door unlatched, and
once again pushed his way inside. The once crowded barroom was now empty, all
except for the same grey-bearded man who had thrown him from the premises
earlier, and then Albus Dumbledore. The three men stared at each other for a
long while, none of them willing themselves to be the first to speak. Just as
Severus was about to turn and leave, certain he had misjudged the meaning
behind the short note delivered earlier, his former Headmaster rose to his feet
and crossed the space to stand before him.
“We must speak,” Albus told him, blue eyes searching over the younger man’s
features, “I fear there is much we both need say, and we must attempt to trust
one another, no matter how difficult that may be.”
“Bloody Death Eater…” Aberforth grumbled with quiet dislike.
Severus shot him a glare that would have caused any of the lower ranking Death
Eaters to quiver in fear, then nodded his agreement to the familiar Dumbledore,
and followed him to the back apartment of the Inn. They climbed another
staircase to a humble sitting room that was unremarkable all except for the
large portrait of a young blonde girl wearing all blue, and holding onto a
favorite book. Her eyes were sweet, but vacant in their stare, her pink lips
slightly turned upward in a very ‘Mona Lisa’ styled smile. After another
awkward moment of silent questioning between them, Albus slowly motioned that
his former pupil should take a seat in the chair opposite him.
“I don’t claim to understand the reason for your crouching outside of Sybill
Trelawney’s room earlier this evening,” he began, stroking his long white
beard, “Perhaps that is where we should begin…? It has been a few years since
we last crossed paths, Severus. I see that time has changed you in many ways.”
“You know nothing about me.”
“Perhaps,” Dumbledore continued, eyes once again meeting with Severus’ dark
ones, “However, I know the rumors, and I know that you’ve been watching my
movements quite carefully on each of my visits to Hogsmeade. I saw you the last
time, outside of The Three Broomsticks Inn… That is, I had suspected it was
you- Though any doubts I may have had were quickly diminished after this
evening’s events.”
Severus clenched his jaw tightly, fighting the urge to grind his teeth. He had
known that tailing a wizard so great as Albus Dumbledore would prove
exceedingly difficult, though he had thought he had managed to take every
precaution at not being found out. On all of his other missions for the Dark
Lord, he had never so much as left a trace of evidence, or a clue as to his
identity. This was something new, and he felt an undeniable sense of unease.
Also, if Dumbledore had known, as he said he had, then why hadn’t he approached
him? Why hadn’t he hexed him there in the street and had him hauled away to
Azkaban?
“Why were you lurking outside of that room?” Dumbledore repeated, long fingers
folded together upon his lap.
“It wasn’t like that- “
“Like hell it wasn't…” Aberforth grumbled, leaning upon the doorframe of the
room, arms initially crossed over his chest, and then taking a long, deep swig
from a bottle in one hand.
Albus turned to face his brother, an indescribable expression upon his face.
That was, he showed no sign of outward emotion or thoughts, it was all his
eyes- The same eyes shared by the younger man who owned and managed this
establishment. Aberforth grumbled something more under his breath, and turned
to leave, allowing the two men their privacy for the duration of their
conversation.
“You were saying…?” Albus prompted his former student, returning his full focus
to the young man seated before him.
Severus cleared his throat, eyes trained upon the powerful wizard before him,
“I didn’t seek to eavesdrop on any conversation you were tangled up in. I
needed to speak with you, and I sought to find you, and then wait until you had
finished any business you had been attending to. I don’t deny that I overheard
you tell Madam Rosmerta about meeting someone for the vacant Divinations post;
that’s precisely how I knew where you would be.” He paused briefly, voice
steady with honesty, “When I was discovered, it was not as I had planned.”
“I see.”
His remark was irksome, but Severus breathed through his irritation, repeating
himself, “I only wished to speak with you, sir. I could very easily have
ignored your request if that wasn’t my intention to begin with… Why would I be
sitting here with you now, if all I had wanted was to listen in on your
conversation, and hear about some prediction made by a witch that has obviously
been faking her abilities prior to that, somewhat unfortunate, yet inevitable
moment in time?”
“That is the question of the hour, isn’t it?” Dumbledore nodded, “Perhaps I
asked you here to understand the details surrounding your surveillance of me
these past few weeks-?”
“It’s been closer to a month,” Severus interjected, followed by a pointed,
“Sir.”
“Has it, now?”
Severus fought the growing sensation to roll his eyes at the man seated
opposite him. Was he just giving him the benefit of the doubt, or had he truly
not noticed Severus’ presence until that moment two weeks ago? If so, his
movements and techniques had not been entirely terrible after all. It wasn’t
much, but it did give him a little sense of pride knowing that he had, if only
for a little while, managed in outmaneuvering one of the greatest wizards of
all time. After a few moments, his attention snapped to the portrait of the
young girl that hung on the wall between them. She was pretty, though there was
something tragically sad about her that he couldn’t quite put his finger on.
“My sister,” Albus said after a short while, his gaze also fixed upon the
portrait, his voice quiet and reflecting a sense of melancholy, “Her name was
Ariana.”
Despite a building curiosity, Severus nodded his understanding of the relation,
“She was very pretty, sir.”
A small smile spread across the aged man’s lips, “Yes she was,” he took a deep
breath, “Are the rumors about your allegiance to the Dark Lord true?”
Severus stiffened slightly in his seat, though pulled up the sleeve of his left
arm in response. The Dark Mark stood out upon his pale skin in its unyielding
onyx ink. He stared at the symbol in quiet discomfort, the once pride garnered
from loyalty to his master, as well as the fear instilled in so many people,
having worn off. Dumbledore’s stare was fixed upon the brand etched into the
young man’s skin, face not revealing any indication as to what his innermost
thoughts might reflect.
“For how long?”
“Since shortly after leaving Hogwarts.”
“So you followed through with the plans your little band of Slytherin friends
had agreed upon, then…” he said bitterly, “Such a waste.”
Severus dropped the sleeve back into place, concealing the tattoo once more
from sight, “I couldn’t agree more.”
His words caused a visible change in his former Headmaster, the old man’s
startling blue eyes fixed upon Severus’ dark ones. There was questioning there,
and disbelief. How would they proceed now?
“Sir,” Severus began, straightening some in his seat, “I am prepared to share
much with you… More than you possibly would expect, or even yet know yourself.
Life has thrown an interesting curve in my path… A twist which requires my
honesty, and my willingness to seek out what’s truly right. Though it has not
been an easy conclusion to reach- Brought about from many late nights alone
with my thoughts, and dreams of what my future might entail… I have finally
come to my conclusion.”
“Which is?”
“I wish to inform on the dealings of the Death Eaters and innermost workings of
You-Know-Who… Something that I believe could prove most valuable to yourself,
as leader of the Order of the Phoenix.”
Albus Dumbledore eyed him with surprise and suspicion at his claims regarding
his leadership of the opposing force to Lord Voldemort’s rebel cause, “Why
would you presume that I have ties to that organization?”
A smirk spread over his lips, “A little birdie told me.”
“I’m sure I don’t know what you’re talking about- “
“Oh, I think you do,” Severus interrupted, “If there is any question as to my
motivations for seeking you out that still ring loudly within your ears, I’m
quite sure that said birdie, would have no problem in vouching for my honesty
upon the subject.”
The Headmaster threw up his hands in a quiet sign of confusion, “I am quite
certain that there is no one within my circle of association that has open
contact with Death Eater’s, such as yourself, on a regular basis… Certainly not
on friendly terms.”
Severus was quiet for a moment, considering how to best proceed. There was no
question that the divulgence of his confession was not enough to convince the
wise wizard before him. Though certainly intrigued by the information that
Severus had provided so far, Albus Dumbledore needed more to go on- Convincing
him wholeheartedly would not be an immediate feat. He had not wanted to reveal
too much; hoping that it might be a task accomplished on his own, but that was
proving more and more unlikely as their interaction continued.
“Mister Snape,” Dumbledore pressed, “I believe it is, as they say, ‘your
move.’”
“Have you noticed the absence of anyone within your inner circle recently?”
Severus questioned slowly, “Someone who’s missing presence may have caused
slight alarm due to a number of factors, but who might have let slip that they
had been traveling alone on an unexpected holiday?”
A twinkle in the old man’s eyes led Severus to understand that a realization
had set in.
Leaning back in his chair, Severus interlaced the fingers of his hands,
dropping them into his lap, head held high, “Your move, sir.”
Chapter End Notes
     What now Dumbledore?! BOOM!
     Such a great 'drops mic' moment. ;)
     Haha.
     Song for this chapter:
     Paint_It_Black_-_Ramin_Djawadi
***** Enter the Doe *****
Chapter Summary
     The aftermath of Bellatrix Lestrange's uncomfortable encounter on the
     Longbottom's doorstep, building to the present timeline.
Chapter Notes
     There is a quotation from this fifteenth chapter taken directly from
     the brilliant William Shakespeare in his famous play, Julius Caesar.
See the end of the chapter for more notes
 “One man to live in pleasure and wealth, whiles all other weap and smart for
             it, that is the part not of a king, but of a jailor.”

                                 -Thomas More
                                     [doe]
The presence of Bellatrix Lestrange had brought about an immediate change in
Frank Longbottom. Years of being an Auror led him to hold a strong deposition
in the face of unsettling situations- The same could be said for his wife,
Alice. However, this was something entirely different, and absolutely rattling
for the pair. How had the Death Eaters learned of their address? Had they been
watched and tailed by the loyal supporters of the Dark Lord? And if so… For how
long? To make matters all the more unsettling, Bellatrix had seemed too aware
of a few pointed details. Alice’s absence from her post in the Auror’s Office
was something of common knowledge, but unless privy to files or personal
knowledge, her pregnancy had not been something regularly discussed. The fact
that she knew of Lily’s presence in their household had been another thing
altogether… A fact only privy to members within the Order of the Phoenix.
Was it because of her Legilimency, or more devious-? Was there possibly a
traitorous source of information being fed to the Death Eaters? To Lord
Voldemort himself? Was there a rat within the ranks of the Order of the
Phoenix?
Frank had wasted no time in organizing things immediately following his denial
of Bellatrix’s proposal. Her words had cut both women deeply, if they had also
effected Frank in some way, he didn’t show it.
“Watch your backs, Longbottom’s… We will seek you out when you least expect it.
That goes double for the filthy Mudblood you keep in your company! I do love a
good game of Hide and Seek…”
He had insisted upon them hurrying to fetch any necessary items from the house-
They would need to leave immediately. While Alice rushed into the master
bedroom, Lily found herself firmly rooted to the spot, unable to move. Frank
had kindly pressed her shoulder with a reassuring hand, motioning that she
follow his wife’s lead. When Alice reappeared in the entryway, she quickly
wrapped her cloak around her, staring at her best friend with mounting unease.
“Lily, you must hurry,” Frank told her, “We can’t afford to linger if they mean
to act upon their threats.”
“I’m not going.”
“What?!” Alice gasped, eyes widening, “What are you talking about?!”
“Lily,” Frank said slowly, “My parents won’t mind you coming with us; I assure
you that there is more than enough room.”
“It’s not that…”
Alice went to her best friend, hands taking hold of her just above her elbows,
“Stop this! You’re coming with us! You heard her- “
“I couldn’t possibly impose,” Lily interrupted, “I understand the danger, and I
don’t intend to put myself at risk. But it’s late, and you’ll both need someone
to bring you the things that you’ve left behind in your haste to leave. I don’t
qualm you for fleeing- I would do the same if it meant protecting my family,
but I doubt they will seek to act on such threats immediately… I could be
wrong, and if I am, then I will have clearly made a stupid err in judgment. But
you must go without me. I promise to follow you when things have settled down
some.”
“Frank-?!” Alice sputtered, tears streaming from her eyes, desperate for him to
do something in the way of dissuading her from the decision she had seemingly
set her mind upon.
“Lily, please…”
She shook her head, “Go.”
“I will send someone to stay here with you once we arrive at my parents’ home,”
he told her firmly, “You may insist upon remaining here for the time being, but
I will not see you left alone for the dogs. Expect someone before dawn. And
make certain to know of their identity before allowing them entrance.”
With a muffled wail from Alice, Frank then opened the front door, arms
encircling his wife, and with a ‘pop’ they both had vanished into the darkness.
Lily was quick to close and bar the door, reenchanting the heavy wood with the
usual protective spells, and then sinking to the floor, head in her hands.
It had been less than an hour later when a knock rapped lightly upon the door
she was still sitting before. She rose to her feet, ear pressed to the heavy
wood, waiting.
“Lily…? It’s Remus…”
“Prove it.”
“We were Prefects together,” the voice began, “Your sister’s name is Petunia,
you were born and raised in Cokeworth. My Patronus is a wolf… Yours is a doe.
Your husband possesses a remarkable garment that was regularly used by himself
and his three Marauder’s during our tenure at Hogwarts…”
Lily unlatched the door, allowing the visitor admittance to the residence,
quickly shutting it once he had crossed the threshold. Gently motioning her
aside, the tall and thin man whispered a number of incantations upon the door
before turning to face her. He had thin scars across his face, green eyes, and
dirty-blonde hair. He did not remove his cloak, merely stood with eyes
searching her, waiting for her to speak.
“I’m so grateful Frank sent for you and not James.”
Remus snorted, a smiled spreading kindly over his lips as he took Lily firmly
by the shoulders, “Why did you insist upon such madness in staying here?
Augusta would have been perfectly fine with your addition to their home… Lily,
you have to understand the risk in remaining behind.”
She nodded, diverting her eyes from his, “I don’t wish to put anyone at risk… I
just feel as though it was in some way my fault for Bellatrix coming here… Not
directly, obviously. But as she said, I am the ‘filthy Mudblood’ that they
would seek before pursuing Frank and Alice.”
“Lily- “
“You know it as much as I do, Remus,” she laughed, the sound full of sadness.
He pulled her in for an embrace, “Enough. She’s insane. You know that just as
much as the rest of us do. You were one of the smartest people in our year, and
I know you better than that.”
“I would rather be their target than Frank or Alice,” Lily told him, voice
muffled against the fabric of his cloak, “I wouldn’t have been able to live
with myself if the Death Eaters had followed through with their threats and
robbed my best friend of her child and life.”
Remus’ grip tightened briefly around her, clearly unaware of most of the
details surrounding the unexpected encounter. Sensing his curiosity, and
knowing full well that he wouldn’t abandon her or try and force her to leave
the house before she was ready, Lily led him into the back sitting room and
told him everything.
===============================================================================
Remus Lupin remained in Lily’s company for the duration of her stay at the
Longbottom’s abandoned house. Though always returning in the evenings, he was
frequently absent during the daytime, leaving Lily ample time alone with her
thoughts. She had been in contact with Frank and Alice since their hasty
retreat, though remained undecided when it came to joining them. They were
adamant that she join them; unwavering in their beliefs that she was not a
burden to their safety. How could they be so sure? Guilt plagued Lily at every
turn. When it wasn’t because of her blood-status being a danger to her dearest
friends, it was an ache deep within her heart regarding Severus. She had no
idea where he was, what he was doing, or if he was alive or dead. Did he think
about her as often as she did him? She was almost certain that he did, but that
didn’t make their forced separation any easier. She longed to be with him
again- To tell him of Bellatrix’s rattling threats. Had he known that she would
come? If so, why hadn’t he warned her? Would he be able to tell her whether or
not the threats were, in fact, idle? Meant only to sow fear in the hearts of
those who refused to join the Dark Lord’s side? She had a feeling that they
wouldn’t be.
One thing stood out to her still… Bellatrix seemingly had no knowledge of hers
and the Longbottom’s allegiance to the Order of the Phoenix. It had seemed much
the same when Rabastan Lestrange had approached, and attempted to recruit
Sirius Black. Was it a mere coincidence, or something more sinister? And, had
anyone else been targeted for attempted recruitment? Meetings had been
abandoned briefly with the unexpected resettling of Frank and Alice. Remus had
assured Lily that an owl had been sent to Dumbledore, as well as other methods
of communication, in order to inform him of the incident. Strangely, Albus
Dumbledore had remained seemingly silent on the matter, leaving the Order
members in a helpless limbo.
It was late one night in February that his silence would finally come to an
end; an unexpected knocking sounded upon the once front door of Frank and Alice
Longbottom’s home. Remus had left Lily alone in the sitting room while checking
the identity of the unannounced presence. When he returned, he was accompanied
by an older man with a salt and pepper grey beard, and vibrant blue eyes. She
had seen him only a few times before, and knew him for Albus Dumbledore’s
younger brother, Aberforth.
“I’m to have you join me,” the visitor told her, “Albus sent me.”
Lily felt her mouth go dry as she stared at the man before her, opening her
mouth in an attempt to question.
“We don’t have time,” Aberforth told her gruffly.
Lily looked at Remus and he shrugged, “Probably just has to do with all of this
business surrounding Bellatrix.”
She looked back to Aberforth and he grumbled something under his breath in
irritation at the delay, “Can’t say either way- You coming or not?”
“It would seem I don’t have much of a choice.”
“I’ll be here when you come back,” Remus told her with his attempt at a
reassuring smile.
With that, Lily rose and led the way to the entry, where she donned her black
traveling cloak, and then led the way outside. Aberforth roughly offered his
left arm to her, the gesture more reminiscent of practicality than chivalry.
Unspoken nervousness betrayed Lily as she gently took his arm with trembling
fingers. He shot her a look of surprise, his eyes softening slightly. It wasn’t
much, but it helped ease her racing mind just slightly, as they vanished with a
‘pop’ into the darkness of the night.
When they stopped spinning and lurching through the confines of time and space,
Lily found herself standing in almost knee-deep snow, a thunderous flurry of
wind and snow whipping violently all around her. The firm pressure of
Aberforth’s large hand upon her arm, and the shadow of his looming frame
reminded her that she was not alone, and he made to lead her through the
swirling blackness of their disorientating surroundings. Just as she could
barely feel her fingers or her toes, she found herself pulled inside of a
building, the door barred behind her. Hanging his cloak upon an empty hook, he
motioned roughly for Lily to hand him hers as well. His beard and hair were
encrusted with the ice and snow from the raging blizzard, and he motioned
wordlessly for her to warm herself by the fire. She did so without speaking,
her blood immediately thawing and resuming its flow through her veins. He
joined her not long after, squeezing and rubbing is large hands against the
sudden, and drastic change in temperature. Lily could feel the chill leaving
her- The snow thawing from places upon her hair, replaced with a cool dampness
that dried rapidly against the heat of the fire.
“Hogsmeade.” It was not a question, and the sound of her voice in the emptiness
of the Inn seemed odd and foreign.
Aberforth grunted, nodding, “My place; Hog’s Head.”
She stared into the fire, the dancing flames all shades of red, orange, and
yellow. It was entrancing and hypnotic, her mind racing with countless
questions. She was certain that they would be answered soon enough.
“Albus is up in the back,” he told her at last, “Best I show you the way.”
Without further banter between the pair, Aberforth strode behind the bar,
motioning that Lily follow, and then gestured to the door set back into the
shadows.
“Thank you,” Lily told him, and then slipped out of sight.
The stairs were dimly lit, much like the barroom, and she climbed them with a
building sense of unease and curiosity, the light at the top growing more and
more bright with each step she took. At the top she straightened her robes,
smoothing the front with the palms of both hands. She then straightened to her
full height and knocked upon the slightly ajar door.
“Please enter, Mrs. Potter,” the familiar voice of her Headmaster sounded,
though Lily cringed slightly at the mention of her ex-husband’s name.
She pushed the door aside and was momentarily frozen in place. Her former
Headmaster was seated in a high-back armchair beside a low-burning fire, his
blue eyes trained upon her from behind his iconic half-moon spectacles. His
hands were folded in his lap, his long beard white and standing out in contrast
to the deep purple of his robes. As intimidating a presence as the older man
always was, his authority unmistakable, there was no sign of malice or
displeasure in his lined features. A movement from the nearby shadows drew
Lily’s attention from this familiar figure, the leader of the Order of the
Phoenix. She felt her heart nearly stop at the sight of who also waited in the
upstairs room, tall and trim, black robes billowing about his lithe frame,
shoulder-length jet-black hair, and deep, dark eyes. Forgetting her summons of
Albus Dumbledore altogether, she crossed the space that separated her from her
lover, arms and hands reaching up to his neck and pulling his lips down in a
crushing kiss upon her own.
“Well, well…” Dumbledore chuckled, “I suppose that settles any doubts I may
have had in regards to the relationship between the two of you.”
Lily’s kiss was filled with want, pain, confusion, and so many other emotions.
But most of all a relief to see the man she loved alive, and seemingly well.
Severus had been much more reserved in his response to her amorous greeting,
hands lightly encircling her, though breaking away before things became less
than chaste. The corners of his mouth lifted just slightly in a subtle show of
his happiness of being reunited with her, his eyes shimmering with mutual want,
and the promise of ardor and passions to come.
“I didn’t know what to expect when Aberforth told me that you wanted to see
me,” she said to her former Headmaster, cheeks flushed from her kiss with
Severus.
“I fear there is much to discuss,” he told her, “This night has been an evening
of some very telling information, as well as the details surrounding the events
that have recently involved the Longbottom’s and yourself.”
Severus frowned, eyes searching Lily.
“I can tell you later…” she told him quietly.
“Mister Snape, would you please excuse us for a few moments?” Dumbledore
inquired, “I would like to speak with Mrs. Potter alone.”
Severus pondered the request for a moment, and then nodded firmly. He turned to
Lily just before leaving, and took one of her hands in his, bringing it up and
planting a light kiss to her knuckles. She smiled, and his eyes glittered with
mutual delight in having been reunited with her. He then made his way out of
the room and closed the door with a firm ‘click’ behind him.
“Would you sit with me?” Dumbledore asked when the sound of Severus’ footsteps
had faded.
She nodded, joining him in the armchair opposite situated opposite, “Thank you,
sir.”
“Lily, I’m not sure where to begin…” He paused, pressing his fingertips
together, “What-? Umm… Well, we all know of your separation from James- “
“Divorce,” she interrupted.
Dumbledore concealed his surprise well, though there was no mistaking the
change in his air, “Pardon me, my dear, but for how long? Since you left
Godric’s Hollow?”
She nodded, “I don’t believe the details are worth repeating, but it was in my
best interest to leave a marriage that had no hope in ever bringing me the sort
of happiness or fulfillment that I deserved.”
“I do not have judgment,” he told her, palm raised, “I am certain that you had
your reasons, though I do not seek to conceal my surprise at finding out this
detail. James has remained rather tight-lipped upon the subject, as I am sure
you have noticed.”
“It’s not my business to tell him how he should cope with such a life change.”
“Of course.”
“How much has Severus told you?”
“Enough,” he shrugged, “Lily, what makes you believe that he actually has
changed? That the information that you have shared with him, no matter how
trivial in nature, he has not passed directly to the Dark Lord himself? It
concerns me that he knew of my involvement with the Order of the Phoenix…
Something I know the members to only be privy to.”
She felt a sudden drop of deep unease fill her stomach, guilt leaving a bitter
taste in her mouth, “Sir, I never wished to endanger anyone… Or to play a
dangerous game when it came to balancing my emotions and my allegiances. I
never told Severus a thing until I was aware of where his heart truly lay. I
promise you that. I have no reason to believe he is using me or planning to
betray me to You-Know-Who. If he had wanted to, I am certain that he already
would have.”
Albus Dumbledore studied her in silence for some time, clearly weighing her
words and judging for himself what his next move would be. “You’re right, he
could have killed you, and most likely would have been dealt with in much the
same manner for consorting with you under the nose of the Dark Lord, had he or
any of the lieutenants or Death Eaters been made aware of your tryst. You have
put yourself at a very great risk- A suicide mission, really. It’s rather a
miracle that you have made it this far unscathed… The both of you. It’s a
curious thing, though- Severus Snape sought me out whilst still following
through with his orders from the Dark Lord. At least that’s what he tells me. I
sense no treachery within him; he has seemed as sincere and level-headed an
individual as the boy I remember from his days at Hogwarts.”
“I assure you that I have noticed the same thing myself.”
He smiled, “Lily, you were one of the brightest minds Hogwarts has ever seen,
certainly within your year. I have always prided your courage and sense of
right and wrong. I believe you. I believe that you and Severus somehow
rediscovered each other after so many obstacles stood in your way. As much as I
will always disagree with his decision to join with the Death Eaters after
leaving Hogwarts, I also know him to not change his stubborn tendencies at the
drop of a hat. The two of you were close for a very long time, and the
comradery of a Gryffindor and Slytherin is not something often unnoticed by the
faculty of such an institution as Hogwarts. If anyone would know him for truth,
it would be you, I am certain… And Lily, I have no reason to not trust in your
judgment or sense of character. I could see right away that beneath the hard
façade that Mister Snape wears so well, that he already feels shame for his
past deeds. I don’t doubt that he will look upon the Dark Mark with dread and
disgust in the years that follow.”
“What do we do now, sir?”
“We forge a plan,” he said simply, “A way forward that might prove an end to
this madness and a return to peace and normalcy for everyone, no matter their
blood-status.”
“And what of Bellatrix Lestrange?”
“Her presence, as well as that of Rastaban’s with Sirius Black, alarms me
greatly,” he admitted, “I have not inquired to Severus about the extent of his
knowledge on such details… However, I do feel as though it is necessary to find
out.”
“Does this mean that you will accept him? That you will help protect him when
he defects?”
Albus Dumbledore’s expression changed to the stony one from earlier, not angry,
though not revealing of more than he wished to make evident.
“Sir…?”
“Yes, Lily?”
“You’re planning on using him, aren’t you?” she whispered, “You want him to spy
on the Dark Lord and the Death Eaters… To reveal whatever innermost workings he
can.”
Selecting his words carefully, “It is an opportunity that doesn’t present
itself every day… I feel as though we would be foolish to not utilize him for
the extent of his knowledge and abilities to infiltrate their ranks.”
“He could be killed!”
“Which is precisely what will happen if we don’t act,” he told her, “If my
suspicions are correct, Lily… Especially after what I learned today, and
Severus in part himself, we have a long road ahead of us in removing the Dark
Lord from his throne of power. It will not be an easy one… It is daunting to
even I, but there is no other way. If we sit by and do nothing, we will die.
And if we fight without being fully prepared, or aware of the extent of the
Dark Arts which he may have utilized in preserving his own place in our magical
world, we are also doomed.”
“So there is no other way?” she questioned softly, head bowed in sadness, “I
have finally been reunited with the only person I have ever truly loved with
all of my heart, and I must be willing to let them go-? To watch them die when
I know that they love me just as much in return?”
“’It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves,’” he quoted,
“Everyone has a choice, including both you and Severus Snape. We must all weigh
what is right and what is wrong… There is a role in this that we all must play.
Lily, you must hold onto your feelings for each other, for they are a rare
gift. And you must learn to trust in the unknown; to have faith in his
abilities, and know that he must make a decision for what is right in his own
being. Love is not easy. It is challenging and painful, and heartbreaking. But
it is also beautiful and fulfilling, and perfect when you find the person whose
soul is the parallel to your own.”
Lily wiped her eyes, knowing the truth of the aged man’s words. She breathed
deeply, meeting his eyes and found herself nodding slowly. He was right… There
would be no future for anyone if Voldemort had his way.
“Now,” Dumbledore continued, “Should we allow for Mister Snape to join us once
again?”
Chapter End Notes
     We're getting into some heavy plot, y'all.
     I hope everyone is still enjoying the story as much as I am. And can
     I just say Dumbledore's second to last paragraph... Wowza. Pulled my
     heartstrings. ♡
     Also, I thought that Remus was the best choice for staying with Lily,
     because he wasn't bound to be annoying and overly pressing about the
     "James issue" as Sirius might have been.
     :):):)
     Song:
     Sweet_Little_Lies_-_Michael_Franti_&_Spearhead
***** Secrets & Spies *****
Chapter Summary
     An alliance is forged, and a secret plan formed.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
 “You only live twice: Once when you are born, and once when you look death in
                                  the face.”

                                 -Ian Fleming
                                    [lily]
While Lily and Dumbledore spoke together in the upstairs sitting room, Severus
made his way downstairs to the deserted barroom. The coals burned in a low red
glow from the fireplace, Aberforth staring into the dimness, a pipe held firmly
between his teeth. He did not turn around or show any sign of awareness to
Severus’ presence, the smoke encircling his head. Severus paused behind the
bar, uncertain of how to proceed, unwilling to risk startling the abrasive
younger brother of his former Headmaster.
“Kicked you out already, Death Eater?”
Severus squeezed his fingers tightly into a fist at his side.
“Ain’t nothing in my place comes free,” Aberforth continued, nearly spitting
out the last words with obvious revulsion, “Especially to the filthy likes
aligning themselves with You-Know-Who.”
Hold your tongue, Severus.
Aberforth turned to face the younger man, eyes narrowed with dislike. He said
nothing, though his look alone spoke mountains. They remained that way, eyes
locked in a mutual distrust and quiet irritation at the presence of the other.
After what seemed like an eternity, the even sound of Albus Dumbledore’s voice
called down the stairs, beckoning for Severus to return to the small upstairs
room, “You may rejoin us, Mister Snape.”
When Severus returned to the room occupied by Lily and their former Headmaster,
there was undoubtedly an air of discomfort about the space. Lily looked
melancholy, whilst Albus Dumbledore was his usual, unreadable self. He raised
an eyebrow in question, eyes moving from the Gryffindor to the Slytherin. With
a wave of his wand, he conjured another armchair out of thin air, “Won’t you
have a seat?”
Slowly, the dark-haired man lowered himself into the chair located between Lily
and their aged Headmaster, waiting.
“Mister Snape,” Dumbledore began, “I will not deny that the circumstances
surrounding our recent communication have certainly been unexpected. I am sure
that you are aware that it is not every day that a known member of the Death
Eaters seeks a new existence…”
“I presume that Lily has helped with some of your suspicions and questions
surrounding my intent on following through with such tactics?”
“Sev- “
He looked at her, his expression as much unreadable as the aged man beside him.
“Mrs. Potter has left nothing to question in regards to your loyalty or
devotion,” Dumbledore spoke evenly, ignoring Lily’s cringe at her ex-husband’s
surname, “I can only hope that your affections are equally shared when it comes
to her… She risks much, and certainly you are aware of such.” Severus opened
his mouth angrily to retort, but Dumbledore continued before he was able to
speak, “You both risk more than many would, though I can’t say that I’m
entirely surprised. As I expressed to Lily in your absence, the two of you were
close for a very long time- It is not something that has been overlooked by
myself, or others throughout the years. You were both very talented in your
tenure at Hogwarts, certainly intelligent enough to excel in your studies and
keep, for the most part, out of trouble.” He looked at Severus specifically,
“It takes great courage to admit when you have realized the error of your ways,
and a stronger man yet, to seek to make amends. I may not agree with your
decision to have joined the Death Eaters. I can’t claim that many will ever
truly understand what compelled you to do such- However, a part of me cannot
deny the memory of a younger version of this old man who sits before you… I was
a man who could have easily fallen down that same road which seemingly
bewitched you, a road filled with the promises of a great power that the Dark
Arts can offer.”
Severus was surprised, an odd expression coming over his face at the personal
revelation of the great wizard known for the famous duel with Gellert
Grindelwald. A duel where the power of goodness won over evil darkness. Could
he have heard correctly? This man known for his good deeds had once nearly been
tempted in much the same way as himself?
“Lily vouches for your character, and that is enough for me,” Dumbledore
concluded, “I believe that you seek a redemption of sorts for your past
misdeeds.”
Unable to find the words he wished to speak in that moment, Severus swallowed,
nodding pointedly, “Thank you, sir.”
“Lily, does anyone apart from Frank and Alice know of your divorce to James?”
Dumbledore inquired, turning his focus to the redheaded female before him.
“Not that I’m aware of, sir.”
“Good. We must do well to keep it that way.”
Severus frowned, clearly less than amused.
“Allow for me take care of James,” their former Headmaster continued, “I will
make certain that he understands the importance of continuing in his silence on
the subject. If anyone questions you directly, I believe it would be in your
best interest to tell them that the two of you are ‘working through your
differences,’ and have a renewed understanding for the ‘value of your marriage
from time spent apart.’”
“Sir-?” Severus bit out, his displeasure obvious.
“It will only do to keep up appearances,” he explained with a casual wave of
the hand, “As uncomfortable as it may prove, I believe that it will be in the
best interest for members of the Order of the Phoenix to believe as though
everything is continuing to go ahead according to plan. Lily’s marriage- “
“Former marriage,” she corrected, blushing deeply, eyes diverting quickly to
Severus and then back.
“… Is of common knowledge amongst our numbers, and I fear that revealing the
truth may only sow familiar decent that was common in your formative years at
Hogwarts.”
James Potter and the Marauders.
“Sir,” Severus pressed, “Forgive me, but how will your informing Potter of the
truth make matters any different?”
The glimmer of a smirk crossed the aged man’s lips, “I assure you both that
James will not be of any concern. He may be displeased- Assuredly, in fact.
However, he will hold his tongue and mind his manners when it counts, without
betraying the truth of the matter amongst our ranks.”
“And why must it be a secret?”
“He has plans for the both of us,” Lily said quietly, her voice sounding
foreign even to her own ears.
“Aye, I do,” Dumbledore nodded, tapping his fingertips together in thought as
he waited for Severus.
The younger man narrowed his eyes, clearly suspicious of what his former
Headmaster had in store. Lily reached for his arm, her hand gently pressing
just below his elbow. Severus looked at her, eyes studying her closely for a
moment, then breathed a quiet sigh as he tipped his head in a gesture meant for
Albus Dumbledore to continue.
“I wish for you to tell your Master of what you heard earlier this evening.”
Lily’s expression was one of complete confusion, considering she did not know
the details of the prophecy uttered by Sybill Trelawney only a few hours
before. Albus Dumbledore did not expect for Severus to keep it a secret from
her, the details of said prediction, however, their time was limited, and he
did not seek to repeat the fateful words at that precise moment in time.
Clenching his jaw tightly, lost in thought for a moment, Severus finally
nodded, “If it’s what you wish… As long as it is a benefit for both the good of
the Ministry and the Order.”
“It is.”
“Consider it done.”
“Lily,” Dumbledore said, turning to her again, “I wish for you to stay here
until I send word that you may return to your former home in Godric’s Hollow.”
“But-!”
He held up a hand to silence her, “You must trust me, my dear. It will not be
permanent, but it must be the case for now. I need your word that you will keep
up appearances and try to be cordial for the benefit of the Order as a whole.
You’re stubborn,” he chuckled, “But you must understand that I do not plan on
keeping the two of you apart,” he paused, adding an amused, “As if I could.”
Lily closed her eyes, biting her lower lip in frustration, though eventually
nodded her understanding.
“This is only the first step,” he told them, “And I will not have the Order
kept long unaware of your assistance to our cause, Mister Snape. It will all be
revealed in time; it has only yet to be made apparent when that moment will
be.”
“What do you wish of me in the meantime?” Severus questioned.
“To continue in your usual duties for the Dark Lord. I only wish that you
commit much to memory, and proceeding as necessary. You are to be our eyes and
ears… A difficult undertaking, to be certain, though of immense value.”
“When do you wish for him to go?” Lily asked quietly, both men turning to look
at her.
Dumbledore’s vibrant blue eyes were kind as he looked upon his former Head
Girl, “I was hoping by first light… That should give you at least a little time
together.”
===============================================================================
Something was different between them, as Lily and Severus retired to their
vacant room at the Inn. Things had changed in such a way that had only formerly
seemed a distant hope. Despite the joy that they both, there was also an
underlying sense of dread. Dumbledore had accepted Severus, despite any initial
misgivings, but in his usual cryptic way, he had also left much to question.
The room was dimly illuminated from one antique lamp, the yellow light casting
a hazy glow throughout the small space. It wasn’t much- Aged wallpaper and an
old bed that had clearly seen better days. Everything was in need of an update,
though the furnishings were hardly of much consequence. They would only have a
few stolen hours together at most before Severus would need to resume his
duties- Obligations of high importance to both Lord Voldemort and Albus
Dumbledore.
“I’m not sure what I think about all of this,” Lily said at last, her voice
sounding hollow.
“What do you mean?”
“Just… Everything,” she sighed, sitting upon the foot of the bed, “I didn’t
know what to expect when he called me here! Certainly not that I would be met
with you…” she met his eyes, “Not that I’m unhappy to see you, it’s just…
Unexpected.”
“I wasn’t sure when the moment would arise,” he told her, sitting alongside her
on the bed, “But I had no other option given the circumstances.”
“And so you mentioned me.”
“I attempted to leave you out of it for as long as possible, but I was given no
other choice when it became apparent that he would not trust the word of a
suddenly repentant Death Eater alone.”
“I’m not angry,” she told him, “I was just surprised.”
“It has been quite the day for surprises.”
“Longer for me, I’m afraid,” she sighed, “Did Dumbledore tell you about the
recent appearances of various Death Eaters surrounding a recruitment upheaval
for the Dark Lord?”
He shook his head, his dark eyes intently focused upon her green ones.
“It all began with Rabastan Lestrange approaching a member of the Order one
evening a few weeks back. I’m not certain how many of our numbers are being
targeted, whether incidental or otherwise, but there was an unexpected and
rather unsettling visit at the place where I was staying about a week ago.”
Severus took hold of her slightly quivering hand, raising it to his face and
lightly placing a kiss upon each fingertip in turn, “Who was it?”
“Bellatrix Lestrange.”
“You realize that she is hardly of stable mind,” he stated slowly, “Though I do
not doubt she was successful in planting seeds of fear in her wake. She has
always been good at frightening others and using her insanity to shatter the
comfort of those she comes into contact with. When the Dark Lord bestowed upon
me this mission- To follow and view the movements of Albus Dumbledore, he also
sent his other two lieutenants forward with dark assignments of their own. Of
this I have already explained to our former Headmaster, but Lucius was tasked
with resuming his watchfulness over the Minister of Magic and the inner
workings and movements of the Ministry itself. Bellatrix was entrusted with
recruitment to our cause… A special list outfitted with the most sought after
minds and talented witches and wizards in current existence.”
“But how did she know where to find us?”
He shrugged, “We may be the inner circle, but where the Dark Lord finds his
information, and how he seeks to utilize it is his own knowledge entirely. I
know not of whom constructed the list, or how they knew where to find you or
anyone else. I swear to you, that I didn’t even know of your name being added
for recruitment purposes… You were always a bright mind and compassionate
individual. Your aptitude in potions and charms would have certainly been
prized qualities.”
“But I’m- “
“He would only seek to use you for as long as necessary,” Severus interrupted,
voice full of seriousness, “He would have you help until your use was
exhausted, and then see you exterminated, or placed into servitude.”
“Because of my blood-status…?”
“Of course.”
Lily bowed her head, already having sensed the majority of Severus’ facts on
the matter, “She is such a terrible creature.”
“Of that I can agree fully,” he said quietly, brushing her hair back over one
shoulder, his fingertips removing the tension from her stresses away with every
passing caress.
“I must confess something to you.”
“Hmm…?”
“Alice knows about you,” she found herself telling him, “I have stayed with her
and Frank ever since my divorce, and she’s my best friend- It’s no excuse, I
know… And I’m sorry for it. I never had intended on it being something of
dangerous knowledge.”
“Has she told anyone about me?”
“No,” Lily told him immediately, “I am certain of it; not even her husband.”
“I presume she advised you against it?”
“In the beginning, but she knows how happy you’ve made me- “ her words fell
away into nothingness when she saw the expression which had come over Severus’
face, “What?”
“Just knowing that I bring you happiness,” he told her, smile vanishing from
his lips, though remaining within his dark eyes.
“Can you forgive me?”
“There is nothing to forgive, my love,” he told her, “I only wish that we
didn’t have to keep our feelings a secret.”
“Hopefully it will only be for a short while,” Lily agreed, “As Dumbledore
implied. I don’t know what I’ll do while you’re gone again! It’s one thing
being cooped up with Frank and Alice, or even Remus…” she paused, “But
returning to that cottage in Godric’s Hollow, to James… All I will be able to
think about will be you coming back to me.”
“I will be in absolute misery for every moment that I am forced to remain away
from you- But you must know that it is you alone who will sustain me; your very
essence etched into the deepest depths of my soul.”
“And what of James?”
“As much as I deplore him, I trust in the promise of our former Headmaster, as
well as your virtues,” he pressed her palm to his lips in a gentle kiss, “You
will be true to me.”
It was not an order, just a genuine trust and conviction within his voice. Lily
smiled, her heart lurching with a happiness that filled her chest, despite the
knowledge that they would again be forced to part from one another with the
dawning of the sun. She moved her arms around him in that instant, pressing her
lips fully against his, no longer able to sustain herself on conversation and
promises alone. She needed him- No, wanted him… And it was all but apparent
that he had been restraining himself with equal effort. Words left them
altogether as more carnal urges began to prove themselves a truly persistent
itch in need of being scratched. His tongue flicked across the silken skin of
her lower lip, seeking admittance to her mouth. She obliged him with a heated
sigh, pulling him closer still as he deepened their kiss. Perhaps it was the
mutual knowledge of imminent departure which spurred them on, but there was an
unmistaken, unbridled urgency in their amorous coupling that had not been
present before.
Lily snaked her fingers through his jet-black hair, nails lightly grazing
against his scalp and pulling a groan from his lips, forcing their kiss to
break. His hands lightly played at the sides of her waist, one slipping beneath
the buckle of her traveling cloak, located at her throat, and unfastening the
garment, stripping it from her fair frame. She made to do the same, hands
seeking soft flesh and the feel of skin-on-skin. Chancing a glance at his face,
she was met with the sight of his pupils blown wide with desire, his breathing
quickened from the increased rise and fall of his chest beneath her hands. The
hand remaining upon her waist moved steadily upward, lightly cupping the side
of her face as he pressed his lips to hers in a tender kiss. Parting slightly,
he stared continually into her stunningly green eyes, his hand slipping down
her jaw, fingers trailing over the sensitive skin of her neck, the curve of her
shoulder, and then down the center of her chest to the curve of her bosom,
leaving goosebumps in the wake of his feather light touches. She leaned in to
kiss him, but he backed away at the last moment- Just out of reach. She tried
once, twice more, and the very same response met her with each attempt. He was
teasing her; she knew it by the mischievous glimmer in his eyes, and bit her
lip from frustration, and the growing need to feel the sensation he seemed so
content upon denying her. Seeking to return the favor, she moved her hand from
its place upon his thigh to the straining front of his trousers.
The effect was immediate, and he let out a hot breath against her neck in
response. He covered her hand that was positioned between his legs with one of
his own, pressing it down firmly against the hidden, heated flesh beneath.
Smirking just slightly, a thin sheen of sweat forming upon his brow, he led her
in small movements of pointed rubbing, just slightly upward, and then downward
to match. She leaned forward, her forehead resting upon his own, the index
finger of her free hand tracing his lips, and then dipping inside of his mouth.
The digit was met with the immediate feel of his tongue swirling about it, and
then the pointed sucking as his eyes closed in quiet satisfaction. She sighed,
removing her hand from his groin, and rising from her seat upon the bed the
move between his legs. Severus leaned back, arms supporting him as he took in
the beauty of the only woman he had ever loved, the only woman who would ever
hold the whole of his heart in the palm of her hands. With a playful smile upon
her lips she leaned in close, pressing her fingertips gently to his chest and
then trailing them down to the hem. She pulled the shirt up and over his head,
fingertips resuming their earlier movements over the smooth muscles and pale
skin that was lightly dusted with dark hair.
He strained to meet her lips, and she leaned in just a fraction from kissing
him, “Not yet.”
Before he could immediately register her words, she had pushed him back, and he
lost his balance, falling back upon the lumpy mattress with a gentle ‘thud.’
Lily’s fingers moved down past his bellybutton and to the edge of his pants,
fingers deftly unbuckling his belt and then the button and zipper of his fly.
She then gripped the fabric and pulled the clothing from his legs, all the
while he was left in a daze from the sensation of her hands moving over his
skin and undressing him with her own sexy earnestness. He watched as she stood
before him, eyes roaming the naked expanse of his form, her own hands stripping
her clothing off piece-by-piece. She was beautiful, she was everything he had
ever wanted, and he hoped she understood just how much she meant to him by the
actions he had set forth to redeeming himself. He didn’t seek redemption for
the benefit of his conscience alone- No, he sought righting prior wrongs and
showing her just the sort of man he truly wanted to be… That he knew he was
deep inside. It had all been because of her, and he desired nothing more than
to love her and bring her happiness for all the days he lived.
She crawled toward him, leaning over top him, lips lightly grazing his.
Sometimes it was staggering to realize that it was real and not a fantasy… This
surge of burning romance and passion that filled both of them so entirely. The
feel of her breath was maddening, her touch electric. Cradling the back of her
neck he pressed his lips to hers with the force he so desired, his other arm
snaking about her waist and flipping her beneath him in one fluid motion. She
giggled, the sound music to his ears as he smiled with unrestricted happiness
when her eyes met his. He covered her face in quick little kisses, hands
smoothing through her auburn curls, the giggling continuing until she was
flushed and breathing heavier still.
“Am I a fool for feeling like this?” he heard himself whisper to her in
question.
“If you are, then I suppose I am as well,” she smiled, emerald eyes glittering.
He sucked lightly on her earlobe, the tip of his cock meeting her wet entrance,
“Then we should enjoy every moment of our downfall.”
Her head craned back and she arched her spine at the feel of his hot, blunt
head against her folds, mouth slightly agape, eyes half-lidded. Slipping his
arm beneath one of her legs, he brought it to his hip, the back of her knee
resting at the crook of his elbow. With a lingering kiss, he thrusted himself
inside of her, sheathing himself fulling within her exquisite depths, eyes
closing as he melted into the feel and sensations of her. His Lily.
Chapter End Notes
     *Happy sigh*
     I just love Sev and Lily SOOO much!
     Song for this installment:
     It_Will_Rain_-_Bruno_Mars
***** Playing the Part *****
Chapter Summary
     Severus leaves for Voldemort's headquarters, while Dumbledore must
     persuade Lily and James to make nice.
Chapter Notes
     So this chapter is REALLY long.
     Normally I try and keep them to a more manageable length- But this
     one kinda got away from me. However, I think it's worth it, and I
     hope that you all enjoy and agree... It's necessary plot and would be
     weird to spread over multiple chapters.
     Happy reading! :)
See the end of the chapter for more notes
     “Monsters are real, and ghosts are real too. They live inside us, and
                             sometimes, they win.”

                                 -Stephen King
                                  [cigarette]

March_of_1980
Severus left just before the light of dawn. The raging blizzard had died down
outside of the warmth of the Inn, leaving the village of Hogsmeade shrouded in
a fresh dusting of white powder, the stars causing twinkles of glitter to
reflect upon the icy surface. Lily had awoken with a start when he had bent to
kiss her goodbye, only partially awake.
“I love you,” he told her, the fingers of one hand moving through her hair.
“Must you go?”
“You know I must.”
She reached for him, the sheet slipping down and off of her body, the cool air
instantly causing goosebumps to rise upon her fair skin. Severus groaned at the
sight of her bathed in the starlight, wishing he could stay with her and make
love to her again. It took almost every bit of restraint in his body to pull
himself away from her, to remember the necessity of completing the task that
Dumbledore had entrusted him with.
“Please?”
Merlin’s beard he wanted to… He wanted nothing more than to remain wrapped up
in her warmth- In the scent of her and the feel of her.
“You know that I cannot.”
She pouted, kissing him all the same, “I love you- Come back to me.”
“Nothing could keep me away from you.”
He had slipped away from her shortly after, knowing full well that any more
time wasted would mean he quite possibly would never leave. He had a task to
uphold, an important mission worth completing… It meant far more than just
finding comradery and meaning. Everything had changed with the addition of
Lily, and the pressing desire to redeem himself for past misdeeds. This would
be only the first of many secret errands for the Order of the Phoenix, he was
certain of it. And as dangerous as it was, spying on one of the strongest and
most dangerous evil wizards in recent history, he knew that he was the only man
for it. Who else could there be? Who else would dare put their life in so much
jeopardy? No one would suspect him, lest of all the Marauders from his days at
Hogwarts, let alone the members of the Death Eaters, who believed the
lieutenants to be untouchable and unwavering in their loyalty to the cause. The
world was deathly still as he stepped outside into the chilly winter air.
Tomorrow was March, and that meant the onslaught of springtime. Perhaps his
fortune would continue to change and transform for the better with the thawing
of the snow. He could only hope.
Severus Snape had never been one for impractical musings, and turning around to
have one last look at the Hog’s Head Inn, seemed something of a strange
sentimentality to have come over him. He had refrained from watching Lily leave
out of his life on both prior occasions that they had met, and why this one was
any different, seemed almost foreign in nature to him. Was it because he
finally associated the nature of their relationship? The deepness of his
emotions, and the pressing desire to keep her safe, even before himself? He
turned around, his black cloak sweeping across the pure snow, a silent shadow.
His breath hitched in his chest as his eyes fell across the figure in the
second floor window. Hair like fire, eyes like emeralds, and skin smooth and
pale, naked as the day she was born- A vision of loveliness, a picture he could
live off of for the rest of his days.
===============================================================================
Albus Dumbledore had been adamant about the lovers entrusting him with
persuading James Potter. It would be no easy task in bringing Lily’s ex-husband
over to their side, though it was pivotal that appearances be kept if the Order
was to eventually receive Severus as a fully-fledged member. The time was not
yet right to share the details of his break with the Dark Lord’s side, or of
his relationship with Lily. There was always risk when it came to making others
aware of the circumstances surrounding any defection from Voldemort’s ranks,
but this was even more dangerous.
“I am using him as I must,” Dumbledore had told himself with some conviction
after the events of his meeting with the pair of former students, “Nothing in
life is free, and we would be fools to not understand the magnitude and full
potential of endless possibilities presented to us through this very rare
opportunity…”
It was not every day that a Death Eater became disenchanted with the
supremacist rhetoric that the Dark Lord preached. They hadn’t even known the
identities of the lieutenants, or what they might have been involved in. Though
nothing Severus had revealed to him had been entirely surprising in nature or
context, it had been telling just the same. He had given them a greater
understanding that they were on the right track with their suspicions of just
how much the Death Eaters were being placed throughout the Ministry of Magic,
and other formidable institutions of the Wizarding World. He had entrusted
Severus with speaking the details of the small part of Sybill Trelawney’s
prophecy that he had overheard, whilst not revealing the later details. The
young man hadn’t asked about what more had been said, and had seemed truthful
throughout his questioning. It was imperative that Voldemort not suspect
anything was amiss when it came to such revelations, and believe that loyalty
had not changed. To have a spy of such placement within the inner circle of
such a Dark Wizard, meant that the opportunity would likely not present itself
again. No, they must learn to trust one another, learn that they must strive
for a better world in which future generations could hope to live fruitful,
long lives.
He and Lily could prove valuable when it came time to seek out the Horcruxes…
Albus Dumbledore shook his head, forcing the thought from his mind. Although it
was undeniably a necessary task in order to defeat the creature that Tom Riddle
had transformed himself into, now was certainly not yet the time. He needed to
focus on the task at hand, trusting that Severus would see his portion through
to completion, before returning to report on the details of such an encounter.
In the meantime, he needed to figure out how to approach James Potter about
this matter surrounding Lily. There was no hope for them to actually work
through their differences and salvage their relationship, that much was
obvious. Lily had clearly moved on, and her devotion was staggering in scale.
There had always been something about the awkward Slytherin youth, and the
radiant Gryffindor Prefect, and later Head Girl, which had made the faculty at
Hogwarts root for them against all odds. All, that was, except for the
Headmaster. Dumbledore could not deny that he had never found himself much
concerned with the amorous pining of students under their supervision. Potter,
Black, Pettigrew, and Lupin had often been some of his more favored students.
They had the propensity for breaking the rules, and sneaking around the many
secret passageways of the castle and grounds, though there was always something
akin to pride he felt for the band of Marauders. A good portion of it stemmed
from their belonging to his same House, and then from their unwavering
friendship towards a werewolf… Something not often seen in their world. But
they had been troublemakers, and nightmarish when it came to their cocky
interaction with much of their peers. James especially had long been hot-headed
and arrogant. He could scarcely count how many times the boy had been given
detention, or had been sent to his office for a good scolding. Perhaps he had
long been too lenient on him for his misdeeds… Actions he had long attributed
to coming-of-age, and growing up. Perhaps James was really just immature and
believe himself entitled?
He would need to put aside any personal feelings, any sensation of parenting or
need to explain James Potter’s actions into a sort of excuse. There were only
two possibilities for how a reaction from him might be received, depending on
how he elected to proceed.
“Lily will be returning to your marital home.”
“You’ve convinced her?!”
“Yes, though she despises you and is only doing it because of me.”
It was the truth, though certainly less than tactful in nature.
“Lily has agreed to return to Godric’s Hollow.”
“She has?!”
“Yes, but not for reasons you might suspect.”
“What-?”
“There are detailed plans in the works, and I need to keep her safe. The others
will only suspect that you are attempting to salvage your marriage.”
“Then, there’s hope...?”
“No, she’s moved on… As should you.”
Wrong, wrong, wrong. It would be no simple task, and he must not reveal too
much or suffer disastrous consequences. Perhaps a lie would be the best option,
rather than forcing him to suffer the truth. It was only a temporary
arrangement anyways. No matter, he would need to make certain to speak with
Lily in depth in regards to what exactly went on at their meeting. With a
steady throbbing growing more and more apparent in his brain, he rubbed his
temples against the headache forming. He was already regretting his persistence
with dealing with James Potter.
===============================================================================
Lily felt the familiar pangs of nervousness as Albus Dumbledore led her
wordlessly through the mazelike halls and corridors of Hogwarts School of
Witchcraft and Wizardry. It had been three days since Severus had departed into
the unknown; three long days that Lily had been cooped up with only Aberforth
for company. She had not expected for the elder Dumbledore to request her
presence yet again, lest of all within the castle that she had spent so much of
her young life at. They had met one another halfway, at the Hogwarts Station,
trudging through the familiar grounds at a brisk pace. The silence was not
uncomfortable in nature, for Lily had grown somewhat familiar in knowing that
her former Headmaster would speak when ready. It was past curfew within the
school, and they ran into not a soul living or otherwise. Eventually they came
upon the foreboding gargoyle guardian upon the third floor and stopped
abruptly.
“Time for a new password, Headmaster,” the stone creature grumbled in its usual
abrasive tone.
“Ah,” Dumbledore nodded, “Yes, but of course… Lily, would you do the honors?”
“Me?” she squeaked, surprised by the suggestion. Her nerves were already
rattled by the reminiscent quality of being back within the confines of the
castle. Though she had scarcely ever received a detention during her tenure at
the school, she felt as though it were still, somehow, a possibility.
“Come now,” Dumbledore pressed, not unkindly, his blue eyes twinkling.
“Pixie Puff?”
He smiled and nodded his approval, “You remember my fondness for sweets… An
excellent choice.”
The gargoyle gave a grunt and leapt to one side, allowing the pair entrance.
The familiar moving staircase greeted them, providing the way up to the
Headmaster’s Office. Once inside, Albus Dumbledore barred the door behind them
so that they were afforded the necessary privacy. The room was large and
beautiful, circular, and full of the kinds of knick-knacks and trinkets that
could keep one’s attention fully occupied for days on end. Silver instruments
stood on tables, making uniquely different noises and occasionally emitting
little puffs of smoke. Behind the large and formidable desk, the Sorting Hat
sat upon a shelf, along with the brilliant silver sword of Godric Gryffindor-
The rubies in its hilt nearly glowing a deep blood red in the dimness of the
hour. Surrounding them, the walls were covered in the portraits of all the old
headmasters and headmistresses that the school had ever known. Some feinting
sleep, some actually snoring and drooling in their frames, and others openly
staring with an unmistakable curiosity.
“You will be returning to Godric’s Hollow after our discussion,” he told her,
“I believe it is time we give the Hog’s Head back to Aberforth.”
“Oh…” Lily heard herself say.
“My brother has the tendency of becoming rather unpleasant when he feels as
though anyone has seemingly worn out their welcome, and I do not wish for you
to suffer that fate.”
“He has been nothing but courteous.”
“That is good to hear,” he nodded, “And although he has not openly suggested
that it is time for you to move on, I know, as I am sure you do yourself, that
it is time for us to move forward with your part of the plan.”
Lily nodded, eyes diverting to her shoes, hands clutching hard at the sides of
her traveling cloak.
“Now, I do not wish to send you in blindly,” he proceeded, moving across the
room and opening a cabinet, “Which is why I suggested that you join me here.”
When he turned, he had in his arms a stone basin with runes and strange symbols
carved around the edge, seemingly full of a silvery substance, cloud-like, and
swirling, though nearly liquid from certain angles. It was a Pensieve, of that
much Lily could discern from merely looking upon the object. It did not
surprise her in the slightest to learn that Dumbledore possessed one, or that
he had so completely utilized the item for storing and reviewing his many
memories… For a wizard as famous as her former Headmaster, it seemed rather
obvious a possession. What memories and ideas, thoughts and discoveries swirled
in the depths of the basin were a vast and intriguing prospect, though
something altogether overwhelming. What was it that he wished for her to see?
“I have spoken with James Potter, and I wish for you to be privy to our meeting
before returning to your once marital home,” he told her as he placed the
object gently upon his desk, answering her inner questioning at once.
Though disappointed to some degree, wishing that it had been something of far
more interest, Lily had suspected as much, and nodded in understanding as she
waited for him to continue.
“I suspect that you know what this is?”
“It is a Pensieve, sir,” she stated, much like she would have if still in
attendance at Hogwarts, “A device intended for storing and reviewing memories.
Though I have not utilized one myself, I have read that when revisiting
thoughts, it is something akin to being there yourself… To watching it unfold
before you, though being unable to change it in anyway.”
The corner of his mouth twitched into a slight smile, “Very astute, as I would
have only expected.”
“Thank you, sir.”
“Now, will you join me? Let us have a look into the meeting with your ex-
husband so that there will be no surprises waiting for you.”
Lily moved beside the aged man, and watched him. Using the tip of his wand, he
poked the contents of the basin, and then lowered his face to the edge of the
ornate stone, dipping his face into the silvery substance within. She stared
for a moment, eyes widening, though quickly snapped herself out of it,
proceeding in much the same manner as her former Headmaster. How would they get
back out? She presumed it would be as simple as leaving a theatre at the final
curtain call. Dipping her face into Albus Dumbledore’s memories was a strange
and certainly unusual experience that she had never believed would become a
part of her life. She found herself dropping through unformed surroundings
until she landed firmly and gently upon her two feet, seeming to stand upon
solid ground. She was within her old living room in the cottage in Godric’s
Hollow, though the appearance of the space was staggering in its changes. It
was filthy and unkempt, clearly the result of James’ forced bachelorhood, and
depression from her walking out on him. Albus Dumbledore stepped to her,
lightly pressing her arm to make certain she knew him to be the real and
present man, and not the memory which would undoubtedly be appearing shortly.
“They will not be able to hear us, nor will we be able to change what has come
to pass,” he told her quietly.
Lily nodded, eyes moving around the space, the structure that was familiar,
though life that had seemingly fallen to pieces. Though she did not wish to
renew her life with James Potter, she could not deny the small amount of shame
and pity that rose within her at the sight of his devastation at her desertion.
She had known her decision to be right in walking out of that life, in ending
her marriage and electing to find her own happiness… But that didn’t make
seeing his struggle any less sorrowful in its extent.
“Mister Potter.”
“Sorry about the mess,” James had mumbled, everything about him seeming foreign
to the memory of the man Lily had once known.
“Nothing that isn’t expected,” the twin of the man standing beside Lily spoke,
and with a flick of his wand, everything began moving and spinning, whirling
and flying back into place. It was mere moments before the house was less of a
warzone in appearance, and had regained a livable standard.
James had blushed at the quick work his former Headmaster had made at tidying
up the space, and motioned for him to take a seat. Dumbledore took the chair
beside the empty fireplace, and James sat upon the sofa he had been clearly
using as a bed. He pulled a cigarette from the pack on the coffee table, lit
it, and inhaled deeply, exhaling smoke into the room.
“I have noticed that there has been a change in you,” Dumbledore began, “After
seeing the inside of your home, it is obvious that the break in your
personality runs deep… Lily is gone?”
“You already know she’s been staying with Frank and Alice.”
“Correct. But is she coming back?”
He shrugged, focusing his attention upon the cigarette and the swirling grey
smoke, rather than the question posed to him.
“James, you’ve heard about the attempt of recruitment in London, I presume?”
Dumbledore continued, “You know that Frank and Alice were forced from their
home…?”
“Aye,” he nodded.
“Yet you have no curiosity as to the whereabouts of Lily- “
James slammed a fist down upon the coffee table hard, the ashtray rattling upon
the surface, the aged man clearly unsurprised by the sudden outburst. “I would
assume she’s gone with them to wherever they’ve gone off to.”
"And you would be incorrect in your assumption, Mister Potter. She remains at
risk."
“She- WHAT?!” he exclaimed, eyes meeting the familiar blue ones across the
room.
“Lily was not about to put others at risk, and given Bellatrix Lestrange’s
threat, felt it best to remain a target on her own, rather than be the reason
the Death Eater’s might seek out her closest of friends, and a pregnant woman
no less.”
“Where is she?”
“She remains in the house in London.”
“WHAT?!” James bellowed, rising to his feet, “We have to go get her out of
there, we have to move her somewhere safe…!”
“She is being looked after, I assure you.”
“By whom?” James nearly spat, jealousy clearly boiling beneath the surface.
“I don’t see how it- “
“BY WHOM?!”
Dumbledore sighed, “Remus Lupin.”
James inhaled deeply upon his cigarette, the ash glowing red as it grew to
nearly the filter. He then crushed the remnants in the ashtray before lighting
up another to take its place. “So one of my closest friends doesn’t even tell
me what’s going on…”
“He was under the strict orders not to speak of his posting to anyone.”
“Yours, I’m guessing?”
Dumbledore chuckled, and nodded, “I found him the logical choice.”
“As opposed to her husband?!”
“James, I have been informed that you are no longer married… Thus, I would
respectfully correct you in stating, ‘as opposed to her former husband,' which
would be correct.”
James fumed, turning in a circle, seemingly unsure of where to go, or how to
react at being wrong in reference to the woman he had once been married to,
vowed to spend forever with, and clearly still cared for deeply. “Who told you?
Was it Sirius?”
“No, it wasn’t Mister Black,” Dumbledore replied calmly, “It was Lily.”
James stopped at the mention of her, betrayal written across his features. They
softened, somehow even more broken-down and devastated by the revelation that
Lily had admitted such to the leader of the Order of the Phoenix. He wasn’t
surprised, it clearly wasn’t that, but the fact that she was so comfortable in
speaking about the end of something that had once meant so much to the both of
them- At least seemed to, was hard to hear just the same.
“It was my decision to send Remus to look after her, before convincing her to
seek residence elsewhere,” Dumbledore continued.
“So she told you of the end of our marriage? Of our life together, and of
everything that we had promised and vowed to make a reality…? Everyone knows!
I’m a buggering fool to resist the urge to speak about it myself. I’m sure
Frank and Alice know every damned detail, every single fucking mistake I’ve
ever made!”
“I am not here to point fingers, or to open old wounds.”
“And yet you show up and begin questioning me about her?!” he shouted,
incredulously, “Do you not think that she haunts me at every turn? That I have
tried to be the ‘bigger person,’ and respect her choices? I fucking loved her
with every bone in my body, with every breath that filled my lungs, and she
threw everything away because she never cared a lick about me. She told me that
day she left that she sought redemption for past failures; for not forgiving
that slimy motherfucking Slytherin snake- Snivellus. Fucking Severus Snape.”
James was seething mad, the cigarette teetering on the edge of his lips,
Dumbledore remaining stoic and silent before his former pupil just the same,
“She left me. SHE LEFT ME! I have tried to move on, tried to focus on the tasks
at hand surrounding the downfall of You-Know-Who, and even the pointless
distractions offered by Sirius and my other mates. Nothing works. NOTHING!”
“I wish for Lily to come back here.”
James laughed, the sound spiteful and hollow.
“She needs to be kept safe.”
“Have Remus do it.”
“Remus has other obligations that he must see through to completion,” the aged
man pressed, “You know that his work within the wild ranks of the Werewolves is
nothing short of necessary when so many of their kind are aligning themselves
with the Dark Lord. We need not speak more on the subject, for it is not the
one which is of importance between you and I.”
“Lily would never agree to it.”
“What if I told you that it was her idea?”
Lily stared at the true and present Albus Dumbledore beside her, shock and
surprise playing at her face. She opened her mouth, though her silenced her
with a wave of his hand, motioning that she continue watching the scene that
was unfolding before them.
James stared at his former Headmaster with equal stunned emotion that Lily had
only just expressed.
“I asked her where she would go, for she could not stay in London unless
suicide was something she fancied. She wasted no time in thinking upon the
matter, and immediately said you.”
“What-? But? I thought…” James was unable to form the words, and instead
collapsed upon the sofa once more, outing his cigarette in the ashtray and
placing his head in his hands.
“Despite the troubles you have faced between you,” Dumbledore told him, “There
was no hesitation when it came to understanding that she would be safe here
with you… That you would be able to protect and look after her in these trying
times and dangerous circumstances.”
“Does she hope to return to Frank and Alice?”
“Of that I do not know.”
“Do you know of her motivations to come back?”
“I cannot say,” he told the younger man, “I did not ask, nor did she offer a
reason.”
“Perhaps there is hope…”
Albus Dumbledore notably hesitated, something that would not have been apparent
to James, given his lowered gaze, though was unmistakable to Lily as she
continued to watch in uncomfortable silence, “You would need to bring that
possibility up with her.”
“Do you know if she went to find Snivellus?”
“James, may I offer you a bit of advice?”
The change in his former Headmaster’s tone had James looking up in obvious
curiosity.
“If a reunion is, in fact, what you seek… A potential mending of your
relationship, towards friendship, or otherwise- “
“You know it is,” he interrupted, sitting up a little taller, determination in
his features.
“Then you must realize that your own feelings must be put aside. Do not mistake
me, for I do not mean your hurt and everything else that has come between you
both. I refer to Severus Snape. You know, just as much as all of us, how close
Lily was to him for most of her life. If it is any part of the reasoning behind
your initial separation, I think you might do well to consider thinking before
you speak. You are, of course, entitled to any personal feelings you may have,
and Merlin only knows- As does the rest of the Wizarding World… How much you
will never be able to befriend or understand Mister Snape. But you must
understand that if it is a sensitive subject to Lily, you must be able to put
your own animosity aside for the sake of her.”
James clenched a fist tightly at the mention of his rival’s name, though
eventually let it go, nodding his understanding, “I will have to try if it
means hope for a future with her.”
“Precisely.”
Lily once again stared at the living and breathing man beside her, wishing that
he would only allow her the outburst she so longed to have. Dumbledore once
again shook his head, “Only a little while longer, and then you may ask me
whatever it is that you wish.”
“She can home if she wants to,” James said quietly.
“Excellent,” Dumbledore responded, rising to his feet, “We will need to do a
Fidelius Charm on your home, of course. I feel it will be a necessary
precaution in order to preserve the safety of the both of you, considering the
Death Eater’s interest in Lily. We will also need to figure out a Secret Keeper
for this place… Perhaps myself?”
“No,” James told him quickly, “I don’t mean to offend, sir. But I see no need
in allowing anyone apart from Lily and myself knowledge of this location… Best
we keep it the fewer the better.”
“Not even Sirius Black?”
“No,” James repeated again, “Just Lily and I. The Potters… As I hope for us to
one day be again.”
The scene around them began to grow more and more dim, everything becoming
hazy, and then going out of focus before turning black. When Lily next looked
around, she had returned to the Headmaster’s Office at Hogwarts, and she
stepped away from the desk and the Pensieve upon it, collapsing into a high-
back chair across the room beside the fire. Dumbledore joined her, taking his
seat in the other, interlacing his long fingers and waiting for Lily to ask all
of her burning questions that he had not allowed of her while viewing the
memory.
“I don’t even know where to begin…”
“It always seems most appropriate to start at the beginning, my dear.”
“Sir, I know that you believe me safest in returning to James and the cottage
in Godric’s Hollow,” Lily began, “But don’t you realize that you gave him false
hope of a reconciliation between us?”
Dumbledore thought for a long moment before responding, “I bent the truth,” he
admitted, “However, you saw through the interaction between he and I, that
James continues to care very much for you despite everything that has
happened.”
“Which is flattering, I’m sure,” Lily stammered, “But it is of no consequence
to me. I have Severus now… What do you think James will do when he learns about
that?”
“I hope to see him a changed and accepting man.”
Lily shook her head, trying to find the reasoning behind Dumbledore’s opinions,
“You know James Potter just as much as I do, or any of his friends… Sir, he
doesn’t think like that, and he won’t accept Severus and I being together!”
“Lily- “
“No, you aren’t listening!” she exclaimed, “You are trying to find a reason for
‘bending the truth’ as you admitted, but you must realize that James Potter is
not the sort of man to change in his opinions overnight! I appreciate your
convincing him to allow me to return home- Not because I want to, because I
don’t! But because it is what you wish for me in the greater picture of
preserving the Order and its members.” She paused for a moment, chest heaving
from her outburst before continuing, “I would never return to that house from
my own means… You lied to him about it being my idea. If it were up to me I’d
be anywhere else.”
A silence fell between the pair, before Albus Dumbledore finally spoke, “I
understand your fears, for it was a risk that I selected to take. I hope that I
will not be proven wrong in my judgment…” He paused, “I don’t want you to
believe that I am doing this only with the greater hope of reuniting the two of
you; somehow rekindling a flame that was outed many months ago. I have seen the
interactions between you and Mister Snape firsthand, and I know you both to be
enamored with one another. Do not forget that I was young once, that I, myself,
have known love and heartbreak… Anything can happen, a moment can change
everything in the blink of an eye. You must do what makes you happy. If that
means being with a defector from the ranks of the Dark Lord, then that is your
choice. If it means mending your former marriage, then that id your
“So am I to keep Severus a secret from him?”
“I believe that it would be in your best interest to keep that detail private,
unless he gives you some reason to divulge the information of your own accord.”
“I- Ugh…” Lily hung her head forward in mixed frustration and exhaustion.
“It will only be temporary, I assure you.”
“For how long?”
“Of that I cannot explicitly say,” he told her, “Until the moment is right to
reveal Severus’ true loyalty… Which may coincide with the Dark Lord discovering
his betrayal first hand.”
“How would he come to know of it?”
“How did he come to know of your whereabouts with Frank and Alice? Or of Sirius
Black in his wanderings?” Dumbledore was even in his answers, and serious in
his stare, “Lily, there’s an informer within our organization… Within the Order
of the Phoenix.”
Her mouth opened in both fear and surprise.
“No one would know you were staying with Frank and Alice unless they were a
member of the Order,” he continued, “The information that the Dark Lord is
receiving is not the kind of which one can attribute to simple deduction of
watchfulness amongst the Death Eaters. I have suspected it for some time now,
and I know it is nothing that Severus may have learned from you. It is most
definitely someone close to us who seeks our downfall.”
“Who?”
“I am not sure.”
“So placing me with James-?”
“It seemed the only logical answer, and the Fidelius Charm will only act as an
additional precaution in order to keep the pair of you safe. You don’t have to
love each other, but I hope that you both may at least find some common ground.
With time, it is my belief that James might even learn to tolerate Severus in
his admirable contribution to the Order.”
Lily had a hard time believing such, but she did not wish to continue arguing
with her former Headmaster about the qualities or lack thereof, her ex-husband
possessed. Instead she trained her gaze upon the deep blue eyes before her,
framed by the half-moon spectacles, “What of Severus and I?”
“As I recall, your last ‘holiday’ was spent in the company of one another,” he
ignored Lily’s blush, “It appears as though you both managed well enough on
your own, and I see no reason for that to not continue. I have a task for the
both of you which is of the utmost importance… However, I do not wish to reveal
the extent of it until Severus has parted from the Dark Lord completely. It
will take many months, possibly years to complete- A task which may become all-
consuming in more ways than even I could possibly imagine. Now is not yet the
time.”
Though her curiosity pressed her to question the aged man further, Lily held
her tongue, “And what am I to tell James when I select to leave the confines of
the cottage?”
“My dear Lily,” he smiled, “I would hate to see anyone make the critical
mistake of stepping between you, and anything that you have set your mind to.
It would be only a daft fool who stood at the end of your wand and tried to
keep you hidden away; forbidden from seeing your plans through to completion.
It would be my assumption that James would reconsider his words rather quickly,
if he made such a foolhardy attempt to keep you without your freedoms.”
“So I am to come and go as I wish?”
“If there is any question in the matter, I would beseech you to contact me, and
I will put Mister Potter straight. But that doesn’t mean you are to act
recklessly, which I would not suspect you of ever intentionally doing.”
After another brief silence had fallen between the pair, Lily nodded at her
former Headmaster, rising to her feet, “I suppose it’s time that I return to
Godric’s Hollow.”
Chapter End Notes
     I feel kinda bad for James???
     Not really.
     And DANG, guys!!! Thank you so much for the continued love and
     support with kudos and comments. They always make my day! ♡♡♡
     Song:
     Samson_-_Regina_Spektor
***** Serpents & Lions *****
Chapter Summary
     Severus returns to Voldemort bearing news of the Prophecy.
     Lily makes a 'homecoming' to Godric's Hollow, and the cottage once
     shared with her ex-husband.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
    “It’s only after we’ve lost everything that we’re free to do anything.”
                               -Chuck Palahniuk
                                    [gate]
When Lily arrived at the front gate of the little cottage in Godric’s Hollow,
she wasn’t quite sure how to feel. She knew that it was not only for the good
of Albus Dumbledore and the Order of the Phoenix for her to return to that home
she had once shared- A life she had shared… With James Potter, but also for her
own safety as well. Though her former Headmaster had not revealed all in their
short few meetings, Lily knew him to be playing her fate- As well as that of
Severus and all of them really… It was not unlike a game of Wizard Chess; she
only hoped that he proved a brilliant player. For how long she stood before the
house, she wasn’t sure. It was still cold out, the wind whipping across her
solitary frame and causing her black traveling cloak to equally furl in the
gust. Her emerald green eyes were trained upon the heavy wooden front door, but
her feet remained glued in place. She was uneasy, that much was obvious. It
wasn’t so much being back in the presence of her ex-husband that brought about
such feelings either. It was far more about being alone together, and what they
would have to talk about. In the many months that they had traversed Lily’s
leaving, they had not once had a moment in true isolation with just each other.
Just breathe.
Her fingers tightened in their grip around the handle of her suitcase- The same
one she had originally left with. Her auburn hair tickled at her neck, and she
bit her lip slightly in an attempt to urge herself forward. She was being
silly. She knew it to be true, but why was she suddenly so besides herself with
childish questioning and unease? It was like she was back in Hogwarts again,
and not in the best of circumstances.
“Are you planning on standing at the gate all day, or do you intend on coming
inside?”
The sound of James’ voice snapped her immediately from the trance she had
seemingly fallen into. He had, at some point, opened the front door and stood
staring out at her, arms crossed over his chest, expression of equal unease and
nervousness to that of her own. His dark hair was messy- Like it always was,
his glasses reflecting some of the light of the setting sun. He tried to smile
in a welcoming way, but it came out something much more reminiscent of a
grimace.
At least he seems to be just as uncomfortable as myself.
Taking a deep breath, Lily unlatched the gate and made her way the short
distance to the front door. For a moment she and James just stared at each
other in close proximity, neither saying anything, nor taking a step forward or
back. Eventually, James stepped aside, motioning her into the house, which she
complied with, the door closing firmly behind her. Lily had not been sure of
what to expect when returning to her former home, having seen the mess of
things from Dumbledore’s visit in the Pensieve. What was certain, was that she
had not expected for it to be so transformed further still. James had, very
obviously, deep cleaned everything. From the floors to the walls, from the
fabrics to the surfaces. A fire crackled merrily in the fireplace, the interior
warm and comforting- How she remembered it long ago being. Her face flushed
against the sudden warmth, her cold cheeks burning slightly at the change of
temperature.
“Let me take your cloak?” James asked timidly.
She nodded, setting down her bag and unfastening the front buckle, “Thank you.”
After wiggling out of the garment, Lily smoothed her clothes, looking around
the room with familiarity, “I see you’ve kept the place up nicely…”
“It’s been more of a recent transformation, I assure you,” he told her,
motioning her to take a seat by the fire, “Bachelorhood has been something of a
whirlwind when it comes to keeping up with household chores. I often find it
much easier to continually put it off, telling myself that I’ll return to it
sometime later… That then transforms to days, or weeks… Or just not at all.”
She nodded, lips pursed, folding her hands in her lap.
“Can I get you some tea?”
“Please,” she smiled, “That would be nice.”
In a few moments she was presented with a piping hot cup of somewhat watery
Darjeeling, though grateful for the added warmth in brought with every sip.
James sat on the opposite end of the sofa, occasionally attempting to look over
at her when Lily seemed to be unaware. She did not miss the sidelong glances,
though she selected to not remark upon them either. It was a strange enough
situation for the both of them, and she didn’t see how beginning their time
together with more awkwardness or misconstrued actions would be of any benefit.
“I was thinking you could take the bedroom if you like,” James managed after a
short while.
“Oh…” Lily began, setting down her cup, “I don’t mind sleeping out here. I
mean, that’s very gracious of you, but this is your house after all… I hardly
see it appropriate in my taking your bedroom from you.”
Our old bedroom.
James looked at her, and then quickly diverted his gaze into the dancing flames
of the fire before them, “I don’t sleep in there. I mean, I haven’t- Not since…
Well, you know.”
Lily felt the pangs of guilt and discomfort quell up inside her at his words.
She had suspected as much from the images within Dumbledore’s Pensieve, but
hearing James verbalize them was another thing entirely. She had never intended
upon breaking his heart… In driving such a wedge between them. It had not been
completely her fault- The blame had been equal in reaching the end of their
marriage. She didn’t want the bedroom, not truly. Probably for much of the same
reasons that James didn’t either. It had been their room… Their matrimonial
bed. A place they had once seemed wholly and contentedly in love. They had
laughed together, talked and whispered well into the first traces of dawn’s
light… They had held each other in times of sorrow and times of joy. They had
made love as though there were only the two of them in the world. But for every
good memory, there had also been bad. Maybe not always, and perhaps not
overwhelming the happiest of times they had shared together over the years… But
enough that they had reached a breaking point in July of 1979. It was a
startling thought to realize that they had been apart for eight months. So much
had happened and changed. And nothing could ever be the same… And Lily knew
without thought and question that she would not change her mind.
“If you would prefer that I take it, I won’t object,” she told him, once again
biting her lower lip.
“I- Uh…” James turned and met her eyes with his brown ones, “Thank you, Lily. I
would appreciate it.”
“Would it be alright if I go and place my bag in there?”
“Of course,” he nodded, his trademark cocky smile coming over his lips, “I
believe you know the way.”
She smiled, glad to see that they were both attempting to emerge from their
shells. It would certainly take some time, though there was already some
promise that their arrangement might not be all bad. “Dumbledore informed me
that you haven’t selected a Secret Keeper for the house.”
He stiffened slightly at her mention, “No, I haven’t.”
“I believe,” Lily continued, “That it might be a good idea. I liked your idea
of it being safer still if it’s only you and I that know, but Dumbledore does
raise a good point in it being ideal if one other is aware in case of emergency
or otherwise.”
“And who would you have me choose?”
It was an honest question, and not one she had given much thought to, nor did
she truly care as to the decided individual. Knowing that their former
Headmaster suspected a traitor within the ranks of the Order of the Phoenix was
certainly something she held in the back of her mind though. She didn’t dare
reveal as much to James, knowing that the information had been spoken to her in
the strictest of confidences, so she knew to proceed carefully. Luckily, the
options of suggestion seemed rather simple to her.
“Perhaps Moony, Padfoot, or Wormtail?”
He smiled at her familiar use of the nicknames of his best friends.
“I just think that they have always been loyal to you… They are your longest
and most trusted of friends, and I would think any of them a perfect option.”
“Perhaps you’re right,” James nodded, leaning back on the sofa and stretching
out his arms, briefly staring at the ceiling, “Dumbledore suggested Sirius,
though I think it a rather obvious selection, wouldn’t you say so?”
“He is your best mate.”
“Right you are,” he smiled his cheesy grin again, “But the other two are sound
possibilities… Perhaps Peter since I doubt anyone would suspect him… Hell, he
probably won’t even suspect it!”
Lily smiled, “I’ll leave the details of it up to you.”
===============================================================================
The blood-red eyes lit up with surprise, nostrils flaring as his lieutenant
walked through the grand doors and into the large room. Nagini slithered across
the floor in some corner of the space, always watchful of her Master- Such a
loyal pet. For some time, the two men stared at one another in mutual respect
and acknowledgment. Voldemort moved from his place at the high-backed chair
before the fire, and approached his youngest and most valued servant.
“Master,” Severus greeted with a half bow.
“Arise,” the Dark Lord hissed, a frightening expression coming over his face-
It was a smile, though far more crazed and evil in appearance, “You have
returned to me.”
“Aye,” he nodded, “I believe you will be most pleased with what I have
uncovered.”
“We shall see,” he replied clipped, motioning for the younger man to accompany
him closer to the fire in the dim space.
“Master, your suspicions regarding Dumbledore as the leader of the Order of the
Phoenix have proven most correct,” Severus began, “It appears he forwards
suggestions via Owl Post from Hogwarts to various locations across the United
Kingdom, members of the Order then organizing their movements accordingly. It
would seem that his true attendance to such meetings is limited, often
coinciding with school breaks and holidays. Perhaps emergencies as well when
they arise… And, of course, depending upon severity of such instances.”
Voldemort showed no emotion from the details bestowed upon him, though it was
obvious that he was pleased by the information. He folded his slim hands, “And
how did you learn of this information? For observing him alone?”
“No, Master,” Severus told him quickly, “If I were to have gone on observation
alone, I scares would have ever uncovered the details you so sought to confirm
in belief. In Hogsmeade alone, I may have observed him three or four times at
most, and was certain to keep my distance at all times. What I learned, was
gained from more careful prying- “
“By which, you mean spying?”
“Yes, Master.”
“And were you careful to go unnoticed?”
A slight pause, “I returned to you after learning a bit of information that I
believed fulfilled your last part of my mission… However, I was unfortunately
caught part of the way through. I should have set up better precautions, but- “
Voldemort silenced him with a wave of the hand, rising from his chair and
taking two steps towards Severus, “The severity of your being found will depend
upon what it is that you have uncovered… I hope that it is good. Though I
suspect I will not be disappointed, for you are unlike my other lieutenants
when it comes to your honesty and loyalty. Lucius would try and wave away any
blunderings with a bribe or commitment to added finery. He thinks galleons and
sickles will turn any man to his side; what am I to want with riches and
monetary wealth? We are seeking a new age! Wealth does not buy power in magic
or strength amongst masses…”
Severus stood steady before the powerful wizard before him, head held high in
an attempt to show a sense of fearlessness, but also respect.
“What did you learn of value to our cause?”
“A Prophecy, Master.”
He scoffed, “There has not been a true Prophecy since the time of Cassandra
Trelawney…”
“During my time in Hogsmeade I learned about an interview that Dumbledore was
holding for the vacated position of Divinations Professor. I had thought much
the same thing as you, Master- However, this was the real thing, I assure you.”
“Perhaps it would be best for me to see it myself.”
There it was.
Voldemort was planning to use his Legilimency proficiency to prove Severus’
learned knowledge true. Where before it may have proven of no concern, he would
have to be very careful in making certain that the interaction in the Hog’s
Head Inn was all that his Master became privy to. Any added interactions from
his time with Albus Dumbledore and Lily would prove almost certainly fatal if
uncovered. He did not plan on having his life stolen from him after he had
already gone through so much to make the necessary movements to breaking free
of the Dark Arts and ranks of the Death Eaters. He would not have his risk be
for nothing.
“I welcome you,” Severus told him, kneeling before the foreboding figure, “It
would be my honor, Master.”
The sensation was immediate, familiar, though deeply uncomfortable, but quick.
In a flash the Dark Lord was within his mind, viewing his memories of the night
at the Inn whilst the blizzard raged outside. It felt like an invasion of
privacy- It most certainly was, but he knew that he would be safe in the end,
for he had given him no reason to distrust.
“Forgive me, but there is nothing more to say,” Dumbledore’s voice stated
calmly and gently, “This has been a very enlightening meeting, and I appreciate
your time… Unfortunately, I feel as though my earlier beliefs on the
continuation of the Divination courses at Hogwarts have been made abundantly
clearer still. I am sure you will find an establishment that appreciates your
talents, Ms. Trelawney, however, I do not feel as though our young wizarding
minds would benefit much from your ‘inner eye,’ or ‘second sight' at this
time."
“Professor, please!”
The door cracked just slightly, “Thank you, again- “
“THE ONE WITH THE POWER TO VANQUISH THE DARK LORD APPROACHES… BORN TO THOSE WHO
HAVE THRICE DEFIED HIM, BORN AS THE SEVENTH MONTH DIES…”
“What in the buggering hell are you doing up here?!” the gruff voice of the
barman boomed from behind, “Listening in at people’s damned doors- Have you no
respect?! Get out of my place, you worthless git!"
And just as soon as he had entered his youngest lieutenant’s mind, Voldemort
had left it, spinning away from him and facing the fire deep in thought.
Severus rubbed his temples against the headache of having been invaded by such
an interaction, though knew he had succeeded in passing this first and
worrisome test.
“You have not spoken of this to anyone else?”
“No, Master.”
“We must keep it that way for a time,” Voldemort said calmly, his voice
emotionless, though Severus could tell he was thinking hard upon the details of
the portion of the Prophecy that was overheard.
“As you command.”
“This has been very useful, Severus…” he hissed, back still turned to him, “You
have proven yourself a most dedicated and loyal servant, as I have always
known. Thank you. You may leave now… I shall call upon you when I have decided
how we will next proceed.”
===============================================================================
Lily had left Godric’s Hollow for the weekend, to pay a long overdue visit to
Frank and Alice. It would be their first reunion of sorts since the incident
involving Bellatrix Lestrange in London. She had left early in the morning;
James having seen her off with a friendly wave from the door. It had seemed
that their arrangement was working out swimmingly thus far, though there was
still a certain element of awkwardness and discomfort between them from time to
time. James had been overwhelmed to say the least, though he could tell that
Lily was having just as much difficulty from time to time as well. He had taken
her suggestion to heart when she voiced her agreement with Albus Dumbledore on
the subject of Secret Keeper. Seeing it as a means to further the goodwill
between them, James had decided to heed her recommendation and approach one of
his former Marauder’s about their assistance in the matter.
It was shortly after lunchtime when he went to the Leaky Cauldron to meet the
individual in question, taking a seat in a far corner of the pub and ordering a
pint while he waited. He glanced at his watch, noting that his companion was
late, and lit up a cigarette in the meantime. It wasn’t long after, that the
sound of quickly scurrying feet met his ears even through the sound of
conversation amongst other patrons of the establishment. He looked up just as
the short and overweight man in question slipped into the booth across from
him. He wiped his brow, beads of sweat standing out upon his pocked skin. His
dirty-blonde hair was in disarray, something horrendously reminiscent of a
comb-over and mullet hybrid, though scarcely describable in its fashion. His
black robes were a bit too long, most likely an affordable option to hold with
his disproportionate body, though in desperate need of being hemmed. His eyes
were small and beady, and placed too far apart. His nose and meaty lips seemed
strange accompaniments- Features that did not seem to fit his face. His mouth
was agape, a usual, and unfortunate occurrence. James took another deep drag
off of his cigarette, clenching his jaw at the moronic expression upon the face
of his mouth-breather of a friend.
“A- Apologies for being a touch late, Prongs…”
“Wormtail, I have grown used to it,” James sighed, crushing the cigarette into
the ashtray between them, “In fact, you’re quite predictable when it comes to
disappointment.”
The rat-like man chewed on his lower lip, flinching at his friend’s words. His
hands moved about fidgety, seemingly unable to still his nervous movements.
“I am sure you have been made aware of my current situation…”
“In what way, Prongs?”
“Lily’s come back… She’s staying with me again.”
Peter Pettigrew said nothing, though his mouth hung open in usual stupidity.
“I intend on mending what was broken between us.”
“G- Good for you, Prongs! Lily’s always been such a nice girl, I think that’s
just tremendous!”
James took a deep breath, always a touch unsure of why exactly he, Sirius, and
Remus had ever selected in allowing Peter to have been their fourth. What was
it that he offered? He wasn’t proficient in almost anything magical... Nearly a
Squib when it came to abilities. All throughout their tenure at Hogwarts School
of Witchcraft and Wizardry, he had somehow finagled his way into being a part
of their little club- One of the elite Marauders. He was humorous… Perhaps that
was it? But it wasn’t from actual comedy or quirky jokes. No, they always
laughed at him. It might have seemed cruel, but for all the amusement that he
had offered them over the years, they had felt something akin to obligation
when it came to protecting him from the incessant bullying that he would have
undoubtedly suffered if it weren’t for their friendship. But that didn’t mean
that they ever really enjoyed his company or companionship… He was odd, and
always had been. But he was loyal, and of that James was certain.
“The thing is, mate… I have something important to ask of you. Something that I
can’t just ask of anyone either.”
“What is it?”
“They’re putting a Fidelius Charm on my home. I need to select a Secret Keeper
for added measure of security. And well, I believe that there would be no other
wizard perfect for the role than yourself.”
“M- Me?!” he squeaked, jumping in his seat, eyes darting about the barroom
surroundings in obvious discomfort.
“Are you up for the task? Yes, or no, Wormtail.”
“I- Uh… Prongs?! Me?! Are you certain… Not Padfoot? I would’ve thought you’d
select P- Padfoot before me… I- I- “
James rolled his eyes, already annoyed at the conversation, and not wanting to
elaborate further for the surroundings that they were in. It wasn’t that he
distrusted Tom or the Leaky Cauldron, for he knew that members of the Order
often frequented the establishment for the safety it provided in not admitting
known Death Eaters on premises… Not that they often showed their faces in
public once discovered. Nonetheless, it was not a conversation that he had
intended on having gone even this long. He was beginning to lose his temper,
which was something he found all too often an occurrence when forced to
interact with Peter one-on-one and without the added support of Sirius and
Remus to keep him in check.
Calm yourself, James.
“Yes, or no.”
The beady little eyes of Peter Pettigrew studied his sausage-like fingers
before once again meeting those of his long-time friend, “I- I suppose. I would
be honored.”
Chapter End Notes
     I absolutely despise Peter Pettigrew. He is a horrendous creature, to
     say the least. There will be more of him in this fic, for he has a
     part to play. But goodness he gives me the creeps, and I hate having
     to involve him- But involve him, I must.
     As for James and Lily, I feel they're both uncomfortable and acting
     pretty appropriately given the circumstances right now. And though I
     am not saying I trust James or like him- I DON'T! He is making an
     effort for now at playing nice.
     Song for this round:
     Mama,_I'm_Coming_Home_-_Ozzy_Osbourne
***** Phoenix Feather *****
Chapter Summary
     Months go by...
     Lily falls into a routine of sorts with James.
     An invitation posed by Frank and Alice offers the lovers a reunion
     and the welcomed presence for a very special occasion.
Chapter Notes
     Another rather LONG chapter.
See the end of the chapter for more notes
 “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what
        you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
                                 -Maya Angelou
                                   [feather]
July_of_1980
Four months rolled by at an unforeseen pace. Sometimes it was speedy, and other
times it seemed unbearably slow. There was scarcely a word between Lily or
Severus during their time of separation, both understanding it to be in their
best interest to not push their luck when it came to their already precarious
situation. Albus Dumbledore was absent from the meetings of the Order of the
Phoenix- Not anything unusual, given his dedication to the role of Headmaster
at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. That, however, did not stop his
cryptic news from reaching their meetings when it came to Severus’ recent role.
Kingsley Shacklebolt, who often ran the meetings in their leader’s absence, had
made it abundantly clear more than once.
“Dumbledore writes that there will be ‘changes within the Dark Lords ranks’… He
speaks of an ‘eye within.’”
“All plans are going forward as expected,” he told them one recent evening, “I
have been rreceiving regular reports, and can assure you that the mole is a
‘wealth of knowledge’ and continues ‘stockpiling information’ for our efforts
at succeeding in this war.”
If only she knew that he was safe.
The living situation with James, while uncomfortable, and less than ideal, had
proven surprisingly better than she had initially suspected. Though there was
no doubt in her mind that he hoped for their reunion, she knew better than to
be led astray. Severus was her everything now, and despite any prior feelings
she may have coaxed herself into believing at one time, Lily knew better than
to let her loneliness take advantage when she was in such a vulnerable state.
Though James Potter was certainly trying- Pulling out all the stops, no less…
She had eyes for only one wizard, no matter how guilty her ex-husband might
make her feel. Severus was risking his life in ways that none of them could
imagine or comprehend in severity, while they all remained in relative safety.
There were times, when in meetings for the Order, that her mind would wander
all together. She couldn't help wondering about where he was, what he was
doing, and whether he thought about her from time to time. She was certain that
he did, but it didn’t make anything easier.
It was after one of their most recent meetings that Frank Longbottom pulled her
quietly aside before his departure, “Alice is nearing her time, you know.”
Lily felt a pang of heartbreak at having been kept away from her best friend,
even if it meant the better likelihood of safety for both parties. “Knowing
Alice, I'm sure she’s ready.”
He had laughed, “You are correct… She’s miserable with the late stages that
pregnancy include, and counts the days until she can hold our baby in her
arms.”
“I can’t wait to meet him or her,” Lily smiled, a little sadly.
“That is what I meant to speak with you about,” he continued, “I know that
Dumbledore has meant your placement with James as a means to ‘keep up
appearances,’ and to allow for safety with the circumstances surrounding- Well,
you remember them just as well as we do.” He paused, “But I have been in recent
correspondence with him, and he has agreed to a lapse in said stipulations for
the time being.”
Lily stared at her best friend’s husband, waiting for more.
“He has said that you may come stay with us at my parents’ until Alice gives
birth.”
“He has?!”
Frank smiled, “Alice was rather insistent upon it… You know how she can be. And
well, she really hasn’t been her same usual and cheery self since you’ve taken
up residence elsewhere. She needs you, Lily. I know that I’m her husband, and
that I’m just as important as any man could be given our situation, but it’s
different… She wants to have a familiar face besides mine there, and well, I
agree. It seems foolish for you to be kept so far away when you’ve been there
since the very beginning when it came to her pregnancy. You’re like a part of
our little family, and it really hasn’t felt the same without you being there
with us.”
Lily felt her heart warm with his kind words, a building excitement growing
within her at the thought of being reunited with her best friend for such a
momentous occasion. How could she refuse? And if Dumbledore had said that it
was a reasonable and allowed exception to their decided living situation, she
could see no reason that would keep her away.
“When would you like for me to come?”
“As soon as you would like,” he told her, and lowering his voice, “I hope you
will not be offended, but we have asked that Dumbledore extend the invitation
to a certain individual as well, hoping that they may also be able to find the
time to break away from prior commitments.”
Lily stared at him in confusion. He couldn’t mean- He didn’t know…
Frank licked his lips, casting a wary glance around them to make sure that they
continued to remain very much alone, “Alice finally indulged the information
which you had been concealing- It was only with permission from Dumbledore,
though. Please don’t be angry with her or myself…”
He knows about Sev.
She couldn’t pretend that she was entirely surprised. Alice had promised to
keep her secret hidden, but from her husband had not been an easy feat. It
wasn't anything that Lily could be upset with, for she trusted the pair of them
completely, and was certain that it had only been after careful consideration
that Alice had even sought an answer from their former Headmaster in regards to
the question. She knew that Dumbledore would have certainly been unsurprised-
He had the uncanny ability to seemingly know everything before it was truly
revealed. But perhaps he had felt something resembling proudness in the fact
that Alice would ask his permission before telling Lily's secret to someone she
had pledged marital vows to. None of this made Lily any less surprised, though
she was glad to see that Frank appeared welcoming in nature- Certainly enough
to have somehow reached out to the person who meant so much to her in a
friendly invitation. But would he come?
Lily had scarcely heard from Severus since being parted from him at the Hog’s
Head Inn on the cold night of the blizzard. She had known him to be safe, for
she had been given no reason to suspect otherwise when it came to his well-
being. Letters arrived once a month, and were usually only a few short words in
length.
I’m alive.
I miss you.
I love you.
I long to see you again.
Every time a note had arrived Lily felt as though her heart had skipped a beat.
She carefully balanced the line of contentment and dread as she sliced open the
seal and removed the parchment with each delivery and passing moment. Would he
be alive or dead? When would they finally see each other again? Was it all for
naught?
“Will you come?”
“Hmm…?” Lily managed, returning to reality.
“Both Alice and I would love to have you come and stay with us until the baby
is born, if it is something you wouldn’t mind…” he repeated.
“Of course!” she beamed, “How could I possibly say no?!”
“And you aren’t upset about-?”
“No, no…” she said quickly, “If Dumbledore has expressed his ease in the both
of you knowing, as well as extending the invitation, then I have no reason to
feel anything except gratitude at the kindness you both have once again
bestowed upon me.”
“Excellent!” Frank smiled, “We will await your arrival.”
Now to just let James know.
Even though they had resumed living together, things had not changed between
them when it came to their personal relationship. The cottage and Godric’s
Hollow was not an uncomfortable place to reside in- To even call home for that
matter, but it was no longer their home. And they were no longer lovers or even
friends… They were acquaintances, and that was a fact that Lily had never let
stray very far from her mind. Despite all of this, they had managed to rebuild
some… Though it was really only enough to keep them on a comfortable roommate
basis. Both of them had their needs and wants in life, and though James
attempted to include Lily in his, she remained decidedly distant. It was in the
old bedroom that they had once shared, that she stashed the short notes Severus
had sent to her, and where she often contemplated her future. How much longer?
Where was he at that very moment? Meanwhile, James’ questions of what they
would have for dinner, or who’s turn it was to clean the bathroom seemed
ridiculously unimportant compared to those internal thoughts and moments of
loneliness
They had Aparated separately to the abode in Godric’s Hollow, Lily returning
first to the empty house and starting a fire at once to heat the chilled space.
James’ entrance was loud and immediately known, the door closing just a little
too hard behind him. They went about their usual evening routine in much the
same fashion as always, with the pair of them eventually finding themselves
seated upon opposite ends of the sofa.
“I’m not sure what Dumbledore’s thinking about trusting a Death Eater, or
whatever he’s got going on with You-Know-Who’s army…” James said after a long,
though not uncomfortable, silence had fallen between them, “What do you think?”
“I’m not sure,” Lily managed, selecting her words carefully, and not looking at
her ex-husband as she spoke, “But I’m sure he knows what he’s doing…
Dumbledore’s always had a keenness for understanding things that most of us
have a hard time comprehending or giving vision to. If he sees value in such an
alliance, then I’m sure that it will prove exceedingly valuable to our efforts
in ending this terrible war.”
“What if he’s wrong?”
“I don’t know.”
Another silence fell between them before James again spoke, “I owe you an
apology.”
“For what?” Lily questioned, finally looking at him, her expression filled with
honest confusion.
“For what I said to you when I was drunk and barged in at Frank and Alice’s
house,” he began, “Sirius had warned me that I would only make things worse,
and he was right.”
Yes, he was.
“But I didn’t care,” he continued, “I wanted to make you hurt just as much as I
was… And I was bloody stupid for acting like such a fool. It seems I’ve always
acted a complete fool when it comes to you, Lily. You’d think I’d have learned
a thing or two in the time that we were married,” and he paused at the
difficulty that the last word brought him, “But I guess it shows that I
haven’t. I’m still just as much that toe-rag you hated in school, and I deserve
everything that’s come my way. Sorry isn’t enough… I've treated you horribly
and I never listened to you enough.”
“James- “
“I’m not asking for your forgiveness right now,” he interrupted her, “I know
I’m not worthy of it... But I just wanted to let you know that I understand
that I was wrong in saying the things that I did, and in acting the way that I
have… I hope that someday we both can find happiness. But Lily, I’d be lying if
I said I believe I’ll ever be quite as happy with anyone besides you.”
She bit her lip, “Thank you.”
He nodded and turned back to stare into the fire.
“Frank asked me if I would be willing to stay with them for a few weeks until
the baby is born,” she said at last, the words feeling odd as they fell into
the space between them after the intensity of James Potter’s confession, “It
would seem that Dumbledore has approved of such, and I just wanted to let you
know that it is my intention to go and be present.”
“I think that’s nice.”
“You- What?”
He chuckled, “Alice is your best friend, and I think that it’s nice of them to
ask for you to be privy to such a monumental moment in their lives. The fact
that Dumbledore has approved of your return to them for such, seems only
natural. Were you expecting I would try and keep you here?”
“I’m not sure what I was expecting,” she readily admitted.
“When will you be off?”
“Tomorrow afternoon, I suspect.”
He nodded, “Then I wish you a most pleasant holiday of sorts.”
===============================================================================
Lily’s arrival at the home of Frank’s parents, Augusta and Robert Longbottom,
was well received. She had met Frank ahead of time, as to accompany him to the
location, given its concealment with a Fidelius Charm to match that of the one
on James’ home in Godric’s Hollow. Once inside the posh Victorian-inspired
home, Lily was greeted as a long-lost family member at once. Despite her
incredible size, Alice hefted herself from the antique chaise and caught Lily
in a strong hug. The two women giggled at their reunion, besides themselves
with happiness. It wasn’t long before their laughter dissolved into tears,
their embrace turned one of much more need rather than joy. Frank escorted his
parents from the room, quietly mentioning that he would make proper
introductions after the ladies had a moment to themselves.
“Oh Lily, I’m so sorry!” Alice exclaimed, wiping her eyes, tears still
shimmering unshed, “It’s not like I haven’t seen you since everything happened…
But goodness I miss you!”
“I know, Alice,” Lily smiled, heart heavy at their exchange, “Sometimes I just
feel so lost.”
“How has everything been? How is it being back there with James?”
“Oh, I don’t know.” Lily let out a heavy sigh, “He’s not terrible… It’s just
the arrangement and the circumstances surrounding it. I don’t want to be there
any longer than I have to be, but he’s up to something.”
Alice frowned deeply with worry, leading her best friend over to the sofa and
sitting.
“I don’t think anything malicious,” Lily clarified, noting her friend’s
expression, “But he wants me… Possibly even still loves me. It’s just awkward
and less than ideal.”
“Well, I’m glad that you’re here with us now,” she smiled, “It’s how it should
be. Though I was afraid you might not come after learning that I had divulged
your secret… I’m sorry, Lily.”
“Alice, I should have never expected you to keep it from Frank. It was a lot to
ask, though I appreciate you keeping my confidence for as long as you did. You
never had to.”
She laughed, “It wasn’t easy, but I would do it all again if you asked me.”
“Have you heard anything from him?”
Smirking wickedly, “Of whom do you inquire?”
Lily swatted her playfully on the shoulder, “Stop it!”
Alice rolled her eyes, “Fine. He’s expected this evening. Dumbledore has
already briefed the four of us in regards to the necessity of remaining silent
upon the subject of his time spent under Augusta and Robert’s roof. While Frank
and I are certain that acting as though it was only you who came to stay during
the time leading up to the baby’s birth, my in-laws have selected to have their
memories altered at the end of your time spent here.”
“Obliviate?” Lily questioned.
Alice nodded, “They have no argument about him coming to stay, and find his
sacrifices very admirable in the face of assisting both the Ministry of Magic
and the Order of the Phoenix. They just would hate to be the ones held
responsible for possibly leaking information that could in any way be traced
back to Severus as a source.”
“That’s very kind of them.”
She shrugged, “They’re wonderful people. I’m only sorry we frightened them from
the room with our happiness at seeing each other again…”
“Should we join them?”
“In a moment,” Alice smiled, “Lily, I doubt Frank told you, but I just wanted
to say ‘thank you’ again for agreeing to come and stay. I’d be lying if I told
you I was anything but nervous when it came to the actual birth… Honestly, I’m
terrified. I know it sounds silly, and I shouldn’t be- Everyone keeps telling
me that everything will go swimmingly. ‘Women have been having babies since the
dawn of time, why would it be any different for you?’ Blah, blah, blah. Lily, I
could die.”
“Alice- “
“No,” she continued, holding a hand up to silence her best friend, “I could.
And while unlikely, I need to ask you something. Will you be the Godmother?”
Lily’s frame and features softened at the question, and she took Alice’s hands
in hers, “Of course! I would be honored. But you’re going to be fine, I want
you to know that.”
“I hope so,” she smiled, “At least I’ll have you to hold my hand with Frank for
support.”
It wasn’t until very late in the evening that Severus Snape arrived to the
hidden home of Augusta and Robert Longbottom. He had made certain to arrive
under cover of darkness, and on a night plagued by lack of a moon. The true
owners of the house had long retired for bed, but Alice and Frank had remained
up and waiting beside Lily for the moment their last guest would arrive. With
the light knock upon the door, Frank was up with wand drawn in an instant,
stalking off to make certain that everything was as it seemed. Lily and Alice
had remained in the sitting room, eyes staring off in the direction that Frank
had disappeared, waiting with held breath. When Frank reappeared he was
smiling, hands tucked into his pockets as he moved to sit beside his heavily
pregnant wife. In the next moment a dark figure stepped into the dim light of
the doorway. Long and sweeping black robes and pale skin, deep dark eyes, and
jet-black hair that was pulled back away from the face. There was a hint of
shadow upon his cheeks, and though a little thinner than normal, Severus Snape
seemed much the same man as the one Lily had last seen some months ago in
Hosmeade.
When their eyes met they instinctively seemed to lock in unspoken understanding
and comprehension. Both of them were alive and well despite all odds, all
obstacles continually placed in their path. Lily rose from her seat and crossed
the space between them, her hands reaching out and taking hold of his. Cold but
very much there. It was as though she had to touch him to make certain that he
wasn’t just some cruel figment of her imagination playing tricks upon her.
“I was starting to believe I’d never see you again,” she heard herself tell him
in something of a half-whisper.
He gently reached up, fingertips grazing the soft curve of her neck as he
brushed a stray auburn curl behind one ear, “You know nothing could ever keep
me away from you.”
“Ahem,” Alice coughed pointedly, and Lily blushed a deep shade of crimson.
“Sev, I would like for you to meet Frank and Alice Longbottom,” Lily
introduced, “They are my very best friends, and have been the most kind and
understanding to me since the very beginning.”
Frank stood and extended his hand, smiling, “Already met at the front door, but
no harm in a repeat?”
Severus nodded, taking the hand and shaking it firmly, “Agreed. Thank you for
your invitation. Though unnecessary and unexpected, I appreciate any
opportunity to see Lily, and of course, those who mean a great deal to her.”
Alice smiled, “She speaks very highly of you.”
“Alice-!” Lily blushed again, eyes lowering to the floor as she felt her cheeks
burn.
Severus chuckled lowly, arm loosely encircling Lily as he sought a seat in the
room.
“My beautiful wife- “ Frank motioned theatrically.
“I feel more like a balloon that’s about to pop,” she sighed, straightening,
“You’ll forgive me for not greeting you like a proper lady, I hope? I’m Alice.”
“It’s a pleasure,” Severus told her with a nod of the head, sitting beside Lily
on the sofa situated opposite Frank and Alice’s.
“Can I get you anything to drink? Or a bite to eat?” Frank questioned,
motioning instinctively towards the kitchen.
“No thank you,” Severus told him, “For the moment I am content with just
sitting awhile.”
He nodded and rejoined Alice on their sofa, an arm affectionately slipping
around her shoulders.
“How long will you be staying?” Lily asked him.
“Well… That depends,” he began, “At the moment I am under no obligation unless
summoned, which would only be in the instance of something immensely important
occurring. Unlikely from what has been going on. So I am, in a way, your
servant.”
“You are welcome to stay as long as you’d like,” Frank interjected.
“Thank you,” he replied, a hint of a smile playing at the corners of his mouth,
“You are both very kind. Please do not think of me as ungrateful, it just takes
some time for me to find myself completely at ease… The expectations and façade
I have been balancing sometimes take a little time to break down. I would hate
for any of you to believe otherwise.”
“It’s understandable,” Alice smiled kindly, “What you’re managing is something
none of us could fathom, and I can only imagine what kind of stresses it might
put upon both body and mind. Just know that our kindness is reflective upon our
gratitude for the sacrifices that you are making, and the strength we can only
imagine that it takes to put yourself regularly and readily in such a dangerous
position. We wish for your stay to be as enjoyable as possible, and for you to
know that you are welcome to anything within our home.”
Though outwardly Severus showed his usual proper and starched exterior, Lily
could tell that just a bit of his usual ice towards anyone other than herself
seemed to be melting.
===============================================================================
It had been just shy of two weeks that Severus and Lily had been staying with
the Longbottom clan, when a scream sounded through the old house in the middle
of the night. Lily’s eyes were still blurry from sleep as she sat upright in
bed, her red hair falling in messy curls around her. Severus had been silent in
his movements, though far more prepared for whatever nightmare might be
awaiting them in the once quiet of the night. His wand was immediately in hand
as he gently pushed Lily behind him; allowing his adrenaline to propel him into
defense and ready action.
“Sev?” Lily yawned, “What do you think-?”
He silenced her questions with a kiss, and then pressed his index finger to her
rosy lips as he rose from the bed to slip on his black robes. “I need you to
stay here.”
She pouted, the expression enough to pause him.
“What if it’s Alice?!”
“And what if it’s not?” he shot back.
A pounding sounded upon their bedroom door and he swung back around, wand
raised and teeth bared in a silent growl, his chest, and the light dusting of
dark hair upon it, visible beneath his unfastened robes. Lily stirred from her
place on the bed, pulling the blankets up and around her naked form, reaching
for her wand that still lay on the nightstand nearest her, and the dark-framed
glasses she sometimes wore first thing in the morning, or just before bed.
“It’s Frank!”
Severus cursed under his breath as he unlocked the door and wrenched it open to
face the wizard in the hallway. Frank Longbottom appeared just as frazzled and
on edge as the rest of them, his thinning hair standing on end in places, and
his robes bearing a mixture of pajamas and forgetfulness in his rush to become
decent. For a moment he and Severus stared at one another in silent
consideration, both of them slowly lowering their wands at the sight of the
other.
“Frank?” Lily questioned, and Severus turned slightly to look at her, allowing
Frank the ability to see her as well, “Is everything alright?”
“It’s Alice,” he sputtered, “She, uh… It’s time!”
“Where is she?”
“Our room,” he managed, and seeing Lily rising from the bed, clinging to the
blankets, he turned around politely to allow her the privacy of dressing, “She
needs you… Says she can’t do it without the both of us there.”
Lily dropped the blankets and pulled on one of Severus’ grey T-shirts and then
a pair of underwear and her own robes. Not wasting the time in fastening them
completely, she left them open in much the same manner as her two male
companions. Reaching for a hair-tie, she then threw her hair up into a messy
bun, “Well she’s going to have one hell of a time with both of us being here!”
Frank laughed, though it sounded more nervous than anything.
“I love you,” Lily told Severus, pressing a kiss to his lips, a hand finding
its way briefly to the bareness of his chest.
“Is there anything I can do, Frank?” he asked, Lily slipping out into the
hallway.
“My father’s waiting outside of the room if you’d care to join him in a while,”
the anxious soon-to-be-father managed, “I’m sure Alice will want everyone to
see the baby when it’s time.”
That was all they could say because another scream shook the house in that
instant, and Frank took off running in the direction of his wife, Lily close on
his heels.
“MERLIN’S MOTHERFUCKING BEARD!!! GODDAMN IT, WHERE ARE YOU FRANK?!”
It had not been long after their appearance in the bedroom that the mousy-
haired woman seemingly relaxed, her mother in-law still blushing from the
explicit outburst that had left her daughter in-law’s lips. Both Frank and Lily
took a tight hold upon Alice’s hands, her grip harder still, and within the
hour a baby had been born. There had been screaming, blood, sweat, and tears
shed by all… And the addition of a beautiful and perfect baby boy. Alice had
sobbed when he was placed within her arms, swaddled in a white and blue
blanket, his little features all perfect in every way- A vision of both his
mother and father in combined miniature.
“He’s so handsome,” Lily whispered, fingertip lightly caressing his tiny hand.
“He’s perfection,” Frank told his wife with an affectionate kiss to her cheek,
turning to wipe his eyes.
“My little Neville. My darling boy.”
When they had managed a few quiet first moments of reflection, of careful
examination that he had all ten fingers and toes- Not that they would have
minded if one was missing or added… They allowed the addition of Augusta and
Robert to come and see their new grandson, and the quiet shuffling presence of
Severus bringing up the rear.
“This arrived for you shortly after the delivery,” he told them, passing the
envelope to Frank.
The new parents exchanged an expression of surprise, with Frank eventually
opening the unmarked letter and extracting a small note of parchment.
“What does it say?” Alice asked, cradling her sleeping son in her arms, her
face alight with happiness.
“It’s from Dumbledore,” Frank told the room, “He wishes to be the first to
congratulate us on the awaited delivery of our new addition.”
“That’s very sweet,” Augusta beamed, her eyes filled with nothing but pride for
the little baby.
“There’s more,” Frank added, and reaching into the envelope he extracted the
most beautiful scarlet plume any of them had scarcely ever laid eyes upon.
“What is that?” Robert Longbottom questioned, squinting.
“A Phoenix feather,” Severus answered, his own voice betraying a hint of awe.
“They’re very rare,” Lily added, eyes glued to the glorious plume.
Frank nodded, “He says, ‘A plume worthy of a babe with such promise for the
future.’”
Chapter End Notes
     So I've said this a bunch, but dammit, I freaking adore Frank and
     Alice.
     Obviously they are not the traitors to the Order of the Phoenix, just
     making that abundantly clear.
     Over 2000+ hits!!!
     I love you all, thank you so much for continuing to read and
     bestowing kudos and comments upon this fic.
     Song:
     I_Don't_Want_To_Miss_A_Thing_-_Aerosmith
***** Evil Incarnate *****
Chapter Summary
     Voldemort has a meeting with Bellatrix Lestrange.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
 “It’s really a wonder that I haven’t dropped all my ideals, because they seem
  so absurd and impossible to carry out. Yet I keep them, because in spite of
      everything, I still believe that people are really good at heart.”
                                  -Anne Frank
                                   [candle]
August_of_1980
The interior of the Malfoy Mansion was dim, candles and lamps emitting a dull
yellow glow throughout the grand interior of the space. As with most evenings,
Lucius Malfoy sat up in his study managing his various affairs. To run such a
sprawling estate certainly took up a great deal of his time, but with the
addition of his newborn son, it was a welcome quiet. Draco was the heir that he
and Narcissa had hoped for, a healthy boy with a destiny for great things- A
future that would be made bright and full of splendor thanks to the efforts of
the Dark Lord. The link between the Malfoys and the Blacks was an obvious
choice when it had come to the marital connection of Lucius and Narcissa. Both
of their lineages were two of the oldest, and boasted ‘untainted’ bloodlines
when it came to so many others. While Lucius was an only child, raised in the
very house he now took responsibility for, his wife had been the youngest of
three sisters. They had both attended Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and
Wizardry together, with Lucius beginning his education at the ancient
institution in 1965, and Narcissa starting hers in 1966.
Theirs had not been a love at first sight romance. Lucius had always been far
too immersed in his responsibilities when it came to his schoolwork, and later
his appointment of Prefect. But Narcissa had long watched the tall and silvery-
blonde man from afar, and his poise and undeniable lofty-air had been nothing
short of extremely attractive to her. In time, he had taken notice of the quiet
Slytherin that was a year younger than himself. She kept popping up when he
least expected it, and with time little features unique to only her had become
ingrained in his every thought and daydream. When it wasn’t her two-toned
blonde and deep brown hair, it was her dark eyes and the ruby-red lipstick she
had taken to painting upon her lips. Despite his arrogance- And Lucius knew
himself to be arrogant at times; a trait he had always considered himself
deserving of, given his place of high-birth in the magical world- They had
somehow managed to realize the mutual attraction and feelings between them. The
rest had been history.
“Lucius,” a sing-song voice greeted, pulling him from his memories.
Looking up from his desk he saw the shadowy figure of his sister in-law,
Bellatrix Lestrange. Her slightly bulging eyes were heavily-lidded, her dark
hair a disaster of ringlets seemingly blown about her head with no rhyme-or-
reason of arrangement. She had been three years older than himself, a curious
individual well-remembered from his first few years at Hogwarts. Even in her
youth she had been something of an unpredictable and cruel individual. It had
only been around her sisters, Andromeda and Narcissa, that she had ever
seemingly transformed into something resembling a distant form of normalcy. She
had been one of the first to align with the Dark Lord in his steady rise of
power, she and the likes of her husband Rodolphus Lestrange, and his brother
Rabastan Lestrange.
“I was unaware that you were calling upon us this evening,” Lucius responded,
his features revealing nothing of the surprise or irritation that he felt at
her unannounced presence.
“The Dark Lord has bid my presence for a meeting.”
“Funny,” he told her coolly, “He never mentioned such to myself.”
“Well, I’m supposing that he didn’t find it any of your business,” she smirked.
This is my house…
“How is my Cissy?”
“Motherhood seems to suit her well,” Lucius drawled, his grey eyes surveying
his sister in-law with unwavering distrust mixed with dislike, “She is never
far from our son.”
“After seeing to the Dark Lord, I think I shall go and peek in on them,” she
grinned crazily, “My little Draco should know his only Auntie.”
“Have you forgotten about Andromeda?”
The transformation which overcame Bellatrix was immediate, “Filthy blood-
traitor!” She spat out the words as though her middle sister had never meant
anything or been anything other than disgusting or a disgrace to everything
that she ever held dear in her life, “She made her bed with the House of Black
when she decided to run off and marry that Mudblood… She is no sister of mine
or Cissy’s!”
Lucius smirked at the reaction, always satisfied to put his unpleasant relation
in her place when the right moment presented itself, “A shame that the once
noble House of Black has to contend with so many recent cases of embarrassing
associations with members seemingly caring nothing about their bloodlines and
the importance of maintaining such ancestry into future generations.”
He had hit a nerve. That much was apparent from the shaking anger that seemed
to well up within the very bones, the very being of the witch that stood before
him.
“You cannot deny the treachery of your sister, or of your cousin- “
“They are nothing to any of us,” she seethed.
“And yet they still live and breathe,” Lucius continued, “It must be something
of a slap to the face to know that a traitor like Sirius Black still holds the
surname of your forefathers, and that despite his allegiances to the Order of
the Phoenix, he is the heir to your family line.”
“If only Regulus hadn’t perished,” she sighed, disgust in her voice at the
truth behind her brother in-law’s words regarding the position that her cousin
held, “Sirius is just as much a blood-traitor as my sister… He was disowned
years ago, much like Andromeda after we learned of their intentions at soiling
our family’s good name.”
“Pity they will forever be a tarnished spot upon your name.”
Bellatrix opened her mouth to retort, determined to continue in their
discussion and the defense of her family, but she was silenced by the chiming
of the grandfather clock as the new hour arrived. She glared at Lucius,
snapping her jaw shut, and then turned on her heel to make her exit from the
study and continue to the sitting room for her meeting with Voldemort.
The room was warm, a low-burning fire in the enormous fireplace, and two high-
backed chairs pulled up into the radiant light emitted from the flames. Nagini
lay coiled loosely by Voldemort’s feet, lifting her scaled green head in an
alerting ‘hiss’ at Bellatrix’s entrance. The pale and sinister Dark Wizard
arose from his seat at her entrance, the door closing behind her. She was on
her knees upon the floor, the large and imposing snake beside her, though
showing no fear at its presence.
“Master,” she greeted, head bowed in a sign of respect.
“Arise,” he told her in is hushed, though high-pitched voice, motioning for her
to take a seat in the upholstered chair opposite his.
She obliged, sitting with her arms and hands resting upon the arms of the
chair, and unmistakable tremble exuding from the tips of her fingers.
“Your efforts at recruitment have not gone unnoticed,” he told her, “Though I
must admit that I had hoped for more when it came to the list we had formulated
for your task.”
“Master, I- “
He waved a hand to silence her, “It is not entirely your fault. I know you to
be dedicated in your efforts, and I had high hopes for the addition of the
individuals that we sought. There was potential amongst all of them to help
bolster our ranks and our desirability to the masses. But some things just
cannot be… They will all quake with fear when they realize the magnitude of
their decisions to refuse us. Even the Mudbloods and Half-Bloods who would have
been rewarded with life! Even if it meant a life in servitude.”
“You are right, Master,” she nodded, “Thank you, Master.”
He folded his long slender fingers together upon his lap, red eyes unwavering
in their stare at his longest lieutenant before him, “Have you been questioning
your position lately, Bellatrix? Have you seen me as unfair in my leadership?”
The look which came over her was one comparable to if she had just been
violently slapped, “No, Master! Never!”
“I feel as though both yourself and Lucius may have felt as though I had
granted Severus an unfair task in our last meeting,” he continued, “Do not deny
it, for it was explicitly clear, and I will not hear lies escape any of my
lieutenant’s lips. I have need for the both of you- The three of you, still.
And despite your failures at the last assignment I entrusted you with, I know
that this next task will be far more to your liking in more ways than one.”
She licked her lips, waiting.
“As you know, Severus returned from his assignment a few months ago,” the Dark
Wizard began, “And in his time away from us and the other Death Eaters, he
learned some very important information- Things that will undoubtedly shape our
cause in necessary means to ensure our victory over the Ministry of Magic and
the other simple-minded fools that believe in equality for all kinds of magical
beings and creatures alike. Do you know what his task involved?”
“You had mentioned spying upon the supposed leader of the Order of the
Phoenix,” she told him.
He nodded, “Yes, that is correct. And as you are aware, we now know my
suspicions to be very much accurate. Albus Dumbledore oversees the group of
individuals which seek to defy our rebuilding of a new and better world…
Something that must be dealt with before we may seek to reshape the Ministry
and other age-old institutions that have for too long held sway over the
‘proper’ way witches and wizards see to their day-to-day lives. We must reward
those for their pride in blood-purity, and punish those who seek to eliminate
it. Whilst observing Dumbledore, Severus learned a very key bit of information
that even I could have not predicted. And while I am not entirely concerned
with such trivial things as ‘Prophecies’ when it comes to magic, this one was
startling even to myself.”
“What was it, Master?”
He searched her face, noting the spark of fear that had suddenly appeared in
her eyes, “I have not yet spoken of it to Lucius, though he will not remain
uninformed as to the content for much longer… Severus only heard the beginning
portion; how much remains I am not certain, though I would argue that it is
enough to go on for now, and possibly forever. What he overheard was: ‘The one
with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches… Born to those who have
thrice defied him, born as the seventh moth dies…’”
She gasped, “Master?!”
“Yes, Bella? What do you take it to mean?”
“A… A baby?”
He smiled, his lips and face contorting into a frightening expression much more
resembling something of nightmares rather than amusement, “It would seem that a
child has been born with stronger magic than our world has scarcely ever seen…
A prodigy of sorts that might prove to rival the abilities of any of the
greatest wizards of all time.”
“Never yours, Master.”
“A foolish statement,” he frowned, and she shrunk back into the chair with a
cringe, “Despite the unreliable nature of seers and divination, there has not
been a true Prophecy told since the time of the great Cassandra Trelawney; a
witch truly renowned for her abilities. And while I might normally think in
much the same way as yourself, this was not just any witch who spoke of what
might come to pass… This was a relation of that same great seer of old.”
“What are we to do, Master?”
“You,” he began pointedly, “Are to do me a great service, as I know you to be
able to perform.”
“Anything!”
“You will need to rally a team once more,” he began, “The same individuals
utilized for your last assignment will be fine. When you have adequately
prepared yourselves, it is my intention that you are to break into St. Mungos
and retrieve the records pertaining to the births of all magical children born
at the end of this past month. This is only the first step.”
“And what is the second step, Master?”
“We will begin the process of crossing every name off of the list in due time,”
he told her, “Though it will be of my deepest regret to purge our world of the
potential great minds born to a new generation, they are only a few…”
“All-?” Bellatrix breathed, eyes widening with fear that was for her recently
born nephew.
“No, Bella.” His words were quiet, his voice momentarily filled with something
vaguely reminiscent of a soothing nature, “Only those fitting the parameters of
the Prophecy as overheard by Severus. Those whose parents have ‘thrice defied’
me. It will take some time to figure out, though the records will certainly
speed up the process immensely when it comes to cross-referencing with known
supporters of the Order of the Phoenix, and others who have pledged insolence
to my cause. I assure you that little Draco Malfoy is safe from the culling.”
Though she attempted to hide it, the visible relief she felt at Voldemort’s
confirmation that her nephew would be safe was undeniable upon her face, “It
will teach them to see reason… If it means the elimination of their children,
they will have to see why they must join our cause!”
“Precisely,” he nodded.
“Master?”
He waited for her question.
“How are we to formulate a list to cross names off of in regards to the
information that we receive from the records at St. Mungo’s? We have no true
confirmation of the members of the Order of the Phoenix, and we would want to
make certain to select the correct newborns when following through with this
task- Wouldn’t want one to slip through the cracks.”
“I am certain that we will not have a problem with managing that,” he told her
emotionlessly, “There have been some very unexpected updates recently…
Occurrences that I do not yet wish to divulge in their origin to even you or
the other lieutenants. But rest assure, dear Bella, that there is a rat within
the Order of the Phoenix, and the allegiance that they are proving to our cause
is not one to be overlooked. It will only be a matter of time until we have
what we want.”
Chapter End Notes
     DUN DUN DUN...
     Song of choice- A big favorite from my days in high school:
     Sister_-_She_Wants_Revenge
***** A Secret *****
Chapter Summary
     James makes a discovery.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
       “If I said I was madly in love with you, you’d know I was lying.”
                              -Margaret Mitchell
                                   [prongs]
“He is a handsome little lad,” Lily smiled at her best friend cradling her
newborn son.
“And smart too!” Alice exclaimed, staring at her son with adoration, “Though I
can’t prove it, I’m quite certain he swaddles himself tighter than Frank and I
leave him.”
“He’s already exhibiting his magic- That’s amazing!”
“I never knew I could feel so strongly towards anything or anyone in all my
life,” Alice told her, “It’s astonishing sometimes… Do you think you and
Severus will have one?”
“One-?”
“A baby!”
Lily blushed deeply, finding herself at a loss for words, “I- Umm… Well, I’m
not sure. We haven’t exactly spoken about it.”
It was at that moment that Neville’s eyes popped open and widened. He began to
scream and fuss in usual infant distress, ending all conversation between the
two women. Alice cooed and patted him, humming and trying all of the usual
tricks she had recently become so familiar with. While being a usually calm and
easy baby, there were certainly moments such and these that left her at a loss.
He would wail and writhe with abandon for seemingly no reason, leaving her
struggling to figure out a way to return him to his usual relaxed self.
“You might need to go get Frank,” she told Lily above the shrieks of the
newborn, “He might just need his Daddy…”
“May I?”
Both women spun around in surprise, not having heard the entrance over
Neville’s fussing. Severus had slipped into the room in his usual dark garb,
his dark hair hanging a touch longer than usual, just past his shoulders.
Wordlessly, Alice rose and passed the unruly infant to the tall and slight man,
Lily watching with equal intrigue. Severus cradled the boy with a somewhat
strange familiarity, rocking and bouncing him gently, before quietly singing
something in his low and deep voice.
“Paid ag ofni, dim ond deilen
Gura, gura ar y ddôr;
Paid ag ofni, ton fach unig
Sua, sua ar lan y môr;
Huna blentyn, nid oes yma
Ddim i roddi iti fraw;
Gwena'n dawel yn fy mynwes.
Ar yr engyl gwynion draw.”
It was mesmerizing in a way, and both women stared entranced by the calmness
and gentleness of the former Death Eater before them. In the nearly three weeks
that Lily and Severus had spent in the home of Augusta and Robert Longbottom, a
change had overcome Lily’s oldest friend. Though he remained distant and quiet
about his tasks and the goings-on surrounding the innermost workings of
Voldemort and his followers, he had slowly become more and more friendly
towards Frank and Alice. Was it because they had proven to mean so much to her?
Or was it because of the kindness that they had shown towards him in allowing
him to stay in their family home without questioning his loyalty? Somehow it no
longer mattered. However, it remained remarkably the tenderness he was showing
to the tiny baby boy. As soon as he had begun, Neville had quieted, watching
with an entranced expression upon his face, and by the final words he had
nearly fallen asleep. Silently, Severus then passed Neville back into Alice’s
arms and turned to take his leave from the room.
Before Alice had an opportunity to say anything, Lily was on her feet and
following closely at his heels. When the two of them were very much alone in
the hallway outside of the sitting room, she finally managed her question,
“What was that?”
He smiled, “My mother used to sing it to me when I was a child. I guess I’ve
never forgotten it, though I can scarcely do it justice in comparison to her
own singing.”
“I thought it was lovely.”
“Thank you,” he replied, “The Princes had ties to Wales, so I think it was a
means for her to remember where she came from, as well as remind her of better
times.”
“Alice asked me if we would ever consider having a baby,” the words had left
Lily’s mouth before she had realized it, and she blushed deeply, knowing that
she couldn’t reach out and snatch them back.
A curious twinkle appeared in his dark eyes for a moment, along with an amused
smirk.
“I- I…”
“What did you tell her?”
“That we hadn’t exactly discussed such matters,” she managed, cheeks hot with
embarrassment, “And then Neville- “
He took a step towards her, the radiant heat from his body easily felt by her
in the close confines of the corridor in which they stood, his voice sounded
deeper, though the words he spoke were scarcely more than a whisper in volume,
“Lily are you suggesting that you would like to have a child?”
“I don’t- No. I mean, well- “ She looked anywhere besides his eyes which were
seemingly staring holes into her, “Merlin’s beard…” she sighed, “Fuck, Sev- “
His hands went to her waist and suddenly his lips were very close to her ear.
She felt dizzy from her proximity to him, the heat of his breath sending
goosebumps upon her skin and eliciting a growing sense of desire and budding
heat slowly inching downward through her core. She felt the need for friction
and pressed her thighs together, a momentary solution for the need that she
truly sought.
“Perhaps that is what we should do,” he told her in a low growl, “It would seem
that a good fucking might be exactly what you want.”
===============================================================================
It felt that as soon as their time together had begun, it had already started a
timer to when they would be forced to part again. It was not all bad news,
however. Though Lily would need to return to Godric’s Hollow and the cottage
that she unfortunately shared with her ex-husband, a promising change had
occurred where Severus was concerned. Augusta and Robert, Frank’s parents had
reconsidered their need of Memory Charms for the time being, and with the added
agreement of Frank and Alice, they had decided to open up their home to Lily’s
lover. He had declined politely at first, though after Albus Dumbledore had
agreed to the situation everything had moved quickly. It would be a temporary
arrangement, for that was only appropriate given the dangerous factors
surrounding all of them. But it was agreed upon that if Severus was willing, he
would have a place to stay until the first of November. The news had filled
Lily with utmost happiness, knowing that to slip away to Frank and Alice’s
would be a much more reasonable explanation for her absence than a mere
traveling holiday of sorts. For one thing, James was much more likely to be
understanding in her leaving of the cottage if it meant to spend time with
known supporters of the Order of the Phoenix who would be obliged to assist in
protecting her.
Nonetheless, returning to Godric’s Hollow had been nothing short of bittersweet
when it came to abandoning her dearest friends, their newborn son, and the man
she loved behind. Goodbyes had been quick, filled with friendly embraces and
promises of seeing each other again soon. For Severus she had lingered,
momentarily unwilling to leave the safety and comfort that was his arms.
“I love you,” he told her into the shell of her ear, “Be safe.”
“And you as well,” she smiled, “I won’t know what to do without you.”
The corners of his mouth twitched in the sign that he was fighting a smile,
“I’m sure you’ll manage… Know that nothing will keep me away.”
She placed her palm upon his cheek in a lingering caress, and then pressed her
lips to his once more before turning and Aparating into the sunset.
Despite her disappointment at having to return to the tiny cottage that she
shared with James Potter, Lily tried her hardest to put on her best face and
act as pleasant as she possibly could. He had greeted her with a smile and a
warm meal ready and waiting upon the table. The smell of roasted meat and gravy
was mouthwatering, and the sight of a mixed green salad and two goblets of
pumpkin juice had her realizing just how hungry she actually was. They sat
across from each other at the table, eating in silence for some time before
James decided to speak.
“How was your time with Frank and Alice?”
“Wonderful,” she smiled, swallowing a bite of food and dabbing at her pink lips
with a napkin, “It was lovely getting to see them and share in the birth of
their son. He’s precious! Such a cute little baby.”
“And everything went well with the delivery?”
Lily nodded, “You know Alice… Screamed and cursed her whole way through it, but
held tightly to Frank and mine’s hands all the while pushing. She did
splendidly.”
“I’m sure Frank will have much to tell at the next Order meeting.”
“I hope so!” she laughed, “It’s amazing how quickly they develop and change
even after only just entering the world. Little Neville’s already showing
little magical signs… Nothing crazy, though adorable in their own ways.”
They had stared at each other for a long moment after Lily had concluded her
words, James noticing the sparkle in her almond-shaped green eyes from the
pride and fascination she had with the magical babe. Part of him felt a pang of
sadness, at knowing they could have easily been Frank and Alice… The baby
theirs. If only things had been different… If only they hadn’t broken and
stopped everything between them. Lily would have made a wonderful mother; he
was certain of it, and fatherhood would have maybe forced him to be more of a
man. There was still a slight chance it might happen for them… He had to
believe in it. Seeing the happiness in her every expression had an infectious
way of making him realize just how much he had taken for granted when it had
come to their relationship before. Had she ever expressed wanting to have a
child with him during their marriage? If so, he had never truly listened. Maybe
Sirius and Dumbledore were right in their observations of the man that he had
become. Maybe he was guilty of just never listening to her- To anyone but his
own selfish self. And, more painfully, perhaps Lily was right. Even in their
short reunion of living under the same roof, he had felt as though he was
somehow cohabiting with a woman that was very different from the one he had
married straight out of Hogwarts. Perhaps he never really did take the time to
get to know her as she had suggested when she left him.
“Thank you for the lovely meal, James.”
He coughed instinctively, coming out of his inner thoughts, “Of course, Lily.
It’s good to have you back.”
She cleared the table and washed the dishes; a respectable trade-off
considering his work on the meal. After drying her hands, she gave him a
friendly smile, heading off in the direction of the bedroom they had once
shared, “Goodnight, James.”
“Goodnight, Lily.”
It felt strange to be back in that bedroom, and even more odd that she would be
sharing it alone. After so much time in the company of Severus, under August
and Robert’s roof, to suddenly be alone in a double bed seemed nothing short of
peculiar. The sheets were cold, much like the rest of it, and she shivered as
she made herself comfortable. Though James had been just as kind as when she
had left him weeks ago, it just wasn’t the same. She appreciated his efforts,
though she already couldn’t wait until she was able to leave again. Closing her
eyes, she was greeted by the familiar illusion of Severus. She remembered the
surprise she had felt at hearing him quietly sing to the tiny babe- An action
she had never expected, though heartwarming in its intimacy. She cringed at the
familiar thought of awkwardly telling him about Alice’s question about them
someday having a child of their own. To her surprise, he had not seemed
completely opposed to the idea. Despite her own flustered responses, he had not
openly expressed an opposition to such a future. She smiled remembering how it
had been just the opposite when he had suggested they sneak off to bed.
Lily rolled onto her side in an attempt to make herself more comfortable and
fall into the sleep she so desired. But try as she might, sleep continued to
evade her. She should be exhausted from the emotional separation that she felt
from being removed from the people she most cared about and being thrust back
into this false life she was forced into living at the side of her ex-husband.
It had been nothing short of liberating to feel like she could truly be herself
again under the Longbottom’s roof. Now she was forced into once again
concealing the details of her life that would prove dangerous if revealed to
the wrong sort of individual. But was James so untrustworthy? Lily knew the
answer at once. She could not tell James- Especially not about her love and
future that she fought so hard to share with Severus. No matter what Dumbledore
had told her, no matter what he had tried to tell James, she knew that he would
not receive hearing her true break with him and passions for another. It would
be cruel, and something she just couldn’t bring herself to do… No matter how
much she wished their growing friendship could handle it.
She sighed, closing her eyes again in an attempt to reach sleep, though finding
herself greeted with images from her vivid imagination instead.
Silken dark hair, pale skin, and deep, dark eyes. His hot breath upon her skin
and mingling with her own in a kiss- Mint with just a hint of lemon. Soft lips
with the slight scratching-tickle from his unshaven cheeks; the hint of a
shadow from not yet shaving for the day.
She clenched her jaw, rolling onto her other side in an attempt for the
coolness of the sheets to douse her building desire. One hand clutched at the
edge of the blankets, her other instinctively resting upon her upper chest.
Fingers slightly calloused, caressing through her hair and down her neck. His
lips finding her pressure point and slightly sucking before trailing to her
collarbone and nibbling just slightly. Goosebumps erupting across her skin, the
building warmth moving slowly lower and lower. It lingered at her stomach for a
moment, butterflies fluttering, before slipping lower still, deep into her
core.
She rolled onto her back, hands moving through her auburn hair in frustration,
before slipping once more beneath the covers. The slender fingers of her left
hand trailed down the center of her chest, tracing the curve of each breast and
then moving to her left nipple where the cautiously circled the sensitive
flesh.
He would kiss her breasts, his tongue teasing at her nipples before pressing a
kiss to her abdomen, his fingers sliding against her moistening, collecting the
building wetness between her legs. His thumb would find her apex- Lightly
pressing her clitoris before slipping his longest finger inside of her.
Lily’s own hands slid down her sides, following the curve of her smooth skin.
She slipped her right hand through the soft curls of her mound and to the
slickness she knew to be present lower. Quietly gasping as her fingers moved in
much the same manner as Severus might, she rolled onto her stomach, kicking the
blankets off of her in the process, slipping two fingers inside of her core and
thrusting her hips with desire.
He had nipped at her jawline, his lips finding hers, tongue slipping into her
mouth. She had clung to him, his hand slipping from its place between her
thighs. Reaching between them she had found his hard, aching cock, stroking it
with her fingertips. He would groan, his breath alighting goosebumps anew
across her skin, her nipples hardening so much that they hurt, her own passions
undoing her as she attempted to undo him.
She rocked her hips against the sweet pressure that her hand offered, thumb
swirling across the bundle of nerves atop her opening.
He had hooked her legs around the bend of his arms in much the way she always
enjoyed, revealing her nakedness to himself in a way that still managed to make
her blush, and to bring a light sheen of sweat to his brow. She was beautiful,
every bit of her, and he was nothing but handsome to her.
Lily could feel herself nearing her peak and pulled a pillow down to stifle the
cries that were bound to tear from her lips upon reaching her climax. It was
only after the throws of her spent arousal had torn through her that she had
been able to finally find slumber.
===============================================================================
As August faded to September, Lily had found herself just as much frustrated by
the less than desirable living situation she was forced to remain in. She
wished that Dumbledore would relent and just allow for her and Severus to stay
with Frank and Alice. The offer had all but been stated during her time spent
with them, both before and after the birth of Neville. Augusta and Robert had
said as much to her as well… The house was certainly large enough that she
should would not be considered a burden in any way. But she had to remain
patient; as much as she hated it. To make matters all the more complicated,
Lily had found herself dealing with the added burden of overwhelming nausea
more and more frequently- Especially in the early hours of the morning, after
rising. Not even a piping hot cup of tea had the desired effect in soothing her
queasiness. It was then, that a chill of realization rocked her so hard that
she was forced to sit down.
No… It couldn’t be.
And yet, it was just enough that she knew it would eat at her unless proven
certain. To her added luck, James had not been home that afternoon, having left
to go meet his old band of friends for some kind of outing. Lily had slipped
into her Muggle clothes and ventured into town, only to quickly return to the
cottage and hold her breath as she waited on pins-and-needles for the result.
She would have just enough time before having to leave for her appointment in
London.
                                      ***
When James Potter returned to the cottage in Godric’s Hollow from his afternoon
with the Marauders, he found it empty. Lily had told him that she would be
spending the weekend with Frank and Alice again, and that suited him just fine.
He took off his jacket and hung it across the back of one of the dining chairs
before looking around the house in a quiet moment of observation. Though he
couldn’t say for certain, he had the impression that his and Lily’s
relationship had been moving in the right direction. Glancing at the table he
noticed her note.
Sorry I missed you, James.
I hope you had a nice time in London. I’ll see you Sunday evening.
-Lily
P.S. I didn't have time to get started on my chores... Again, I'm sorry!
She had actually been sorry that she hadn’t been able to tell him ‘goodbye.’
No, that wish was a silly one. He shook his head, if anything she was just
being polite. But still, she had actually left him a note, and that was the
first time he could recall her doing such since nearly as long as he could
remember. Before settling down, he figured he’d tidy up the restrooms, it
seemed ridiculous to wait for her to come back and do it when it was such a
simple task. With a smile, he thought that perhaps she might even realize the
added effort he had made.
As he cleaned the master bathroom he looked around at the feminine touches that
were uniquely Lily. A part of his heart ached for her, wishing that she would
see just how much he had changed and how much he still cared for her. As he
picked up the little cleaning bucket to leave the space, his eyes spotted
something unfamiliar in the little trashcan. Ignoring propriety, he took the
item from its place in the garbage and stared. For how long he remained in that
position staring at the pregnancy test he had no idea. But when he retrieved
the box from the trash he was certain he already knew the answer to his burning
question. A ‘+’ was prominent in the little box, and after consulting the
packaging he found that it was indeed as he had thought.
Pregnant.
But who-? And before he had an opportunity to complete his own question, he
threw the items back into the trash with a burning force. It couldn’t be his.
There was no possibility, and tricking himself into believing it was nothing
but a farce. Dumbledore had lied to him. Who knew how many others had already
lied to him when echoing his deepest wishes. Sirius? Peter? Remus? They were
all his friends, his most trusted companions… But did they know? He had been
wasting so much energy and hope for something that would never be. He had been
made a fool. Was Lily laughing at him even now? Laughing with Frank and Alice
and- A cool numbness crept over him at the thought which had yet to enter his
mind until that very moment. Who was the father? Stepping into her bedroom-
Their old bedroom, he caught a glimpse of a piece of parchment sticking out
from one of the drawers on the chest.
I long to see you again.
There had been no signature, and nothing else written. But James Potter was no
fool, and where there was one, he was certain there would be more. He didn’t
need to seek them out, he didn’t need to concern himself with whatever contents
the rest might contain. And besides that, there was no way he could ever prove
his suspicions of who the author actually was in identity. But the handwriting-
He knew that handwriting. Almost feminine in form; a far neater script than he
and his mates had ever been able to form. They had occasionally managed to slip
a sheet of his notes away when attempting to copy an assignment, or cheat their
way through an important exam in their days at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft
and Wizardry. He clenched a fist in immediate anger, the rage boiling just
under the surface from the memories that suddenly flooded him.
Severus Snape.
Chapter End Notes
     The song that Severus sings to Neville is an old Welsh lullaby called
     Suo Gân.
     He sings the last verse of it in traditional Welsh.
     (Idea taken in part from the sung counter-curse to Sectumsempra).
     Translated into English it would be something like:
     Sleep my darling, on my bosom,
     Harm will never come to you;
     Mother’s arms enfold you safely,
     Mother’s heart is ever true.
     As you sleep there’s naught to scare you,
     Naught to wake you from your rest;
     Close those eyelids, little angel,
     Sleep upon your mother’s breast.
     Sleep, my darling, night is falling
     Rest in slumber sound and deep;
     I would know why you are smiling,
     Smiling sweetly as you sleep!
     Do you see the angels smiling
     As they see your rosy rest,
     So that you must smile an answer
     As you slumber on my breast?
     Don’t be frightened, it’s a leaflet
     Tapping, tapping on the door;
     Don’t be frightened, ‘twas a wavelet
     Sighing, sighing on the shore.
     Slumber, slumber, naught can hurt you,
     Nothing bring you harm or fright;
     Slumber, darling, smiling sweetly
     At those angels robed in white.
     If you'd like to listen to it, you can do so here:
     Suo_Gân_-_Charlotte_Church
     FYI- The next chapter will be posted on Halloween. It coincides with
     the day, and it has been planned for a very long time. :)
***** All Hallows' Eve *****
Chapter Summary
     Lily has Frank and Alice over to the cottage in Godric's Hollow.
Chapter Notes
     This is a very long chapter- Possibly the longest in the fic, we will
     see...
     There are quite a few scene changes and perspective changes
     throughout this chapter- FYI.
     Also, please proceed with caution if you have any triggers.
     Graphic descriptions of violence in this chapter- Please know your
     own limitations. I don't want anyone to feel uncomfortable.
     Here we go...
See the end of the chapter for more notes
“But who can remember pain, once it’s over? All that remains of it is a shadow,
not in the mind even, in the flesh. Pain marks you, but too deep to see. Out of
                             sight, out of mind.”
                               -Margaret Atwood
                                  [shattered]
October_of_1980
In the time since Lily had learned of her unexpected pregnancy, she found
herself at a crossroads of sorts, and inexplicably feeling as though she were
stuck. No matter the situation, she was nervous and a little frightened…
Feelings she knew to be natural, especially given the stress of her living
situation and arrangement. On one hand she was overjoyed, delighted by the
thought of becoming a mother, and how her life would transform and change. The
addition of a child to her life was a prospect that brought so much promise
despite the fearsome circumstances surrounding the Dark Lord. For so long she
had never considered the possibility, not yet yearning for the completeness
that a little boy or girl might bring to her life. Now with Severus, she knew
that a family and future were something she truly desired- Something she longed
for completely. He would make a most devoted father no matter the sex of their
child, undoubtedly raising it with love and tenderness- Things that had been so
foreign to his own childhood and upbringing in Spinner’s End. Her heart beat
faster as she pictured their future.
The sound of little feet running up and down the hallway and across the quaint
house that they shared. Giggles and laughter, high-pitched and gleeful, echoing
throughout the space and the small garden outside. She would follow into the
yard, housedress whipping lightly in the summertime breeze, a smile spreading
across her lips at the sight before her. Severus would sweep the little child
up into his arms, tossing him or her into the air, the look upon his face one
of absolute happiness and contentment. Dazzling green eyes would glitter back
at her from the little one’s face, their jet-black hair mirroring that of their
father’s.
It would be a life full of hope after the chaos brought by the Dark Lord and
his supremacist army. Their child a symbol of the future and happiness that
could be reached even from a union as surprising as theirs- Gryffindor and
Slytherin, once Death Eater and known member of the Order of the Phoenix… Half-
Blood and Muggle-born. None of it mattered. All of it words and means of
sorting individuals into more than just a fraternity or sorority. To make a
future for all of them they would need to see past such mundane differences
that would always be there in life- They must learn to love and care for one
another and the livelihood of all members of their magical world. There was so
much more at stake- All of it far more important than the decision’s wrought by
a patched old hat.
The only fears that Lily felt from learning of her condition were of the
repercussions it might sow. She had yet to tell anyone of the knowledge she
possessed- Not even Frank and Alice… And certainly not Severus. She was not
sure how best to proceed, or how Dumbledore would react when learning of the
development. Part of her struggled with the fact that she was certain he would
be disappointed in her. Shocked by the foolishness of her and Severus at having
not taken proper precautions at preventing such an occurrence given the
severity of their world’s current possible future. She would have to tell all
of them sooner than later. The only other negative that she could bring herself
to recognize was the reaction of her ex-husband, James Potter. Though he had
been nothing short of welcoming and generous when it had come to their reunion
and awkward living situation, Lily could not shake the feeling that he would
not receive the news well. Hell, she knew better than to divulge the actual
paternity of the child… No matter what Dumbledore had assumed. It had been a
tempting prospect nonetheless, certainly with how changed he had seemed since
she had come home. But Lily had resolved to call a meeting between herself and
Severus and Dumbledore to speak the news.
Aparating from Godric’s Hollow had been a decision that Lily immediately
regretted. Her already overwhelming nausea, mixed with her own nervousness had
not been a winning combination when considering the feelings that the common
form of magical transport involved. Just recalling the journey had been enough
to send her doubling over in the nearby hedges lining the exterior of the Hog’s
Head Inn in Hogsmeade. She coughed as the sick escaped from her trembling form.
A gentle hand pressed to her back, hand pulling back her long auburn tresses.
When she looked up she was mortified to see two striking blue eyes staring back
from behind half-moon spectacles. Albus Dumbledore silently offered her a
handkerchief to wipe her mouth, which she took with a courteous nod of thanks.
“Are you alright?”
She nodded, her red curls sticking to the thin film of cold sweat upon her
brow. Lily felt unsteady on her feet and caught his arm gently for support, the
queasiness slowly beginning to fade.
“I’m sorry…”
“Don’t be,” he told her kindly, “We just won’t tell Aberforth that you’ve
vomited over his landscaping.”
Lily smiled, but her eyes were full of embarrassment and lingering apology for
her unexpected episode. She was supposed to be keeping a low profile and she
had just been publicly sick beside a well-known establishment in the Scottish
Highlands. The aged Headmaster placed a friendly arm around her shoulders,
wordlessly leading her up the front steps and into the building. The barroom
was deserted, even Aberforth gone from sight, the elder Dumbledore leading the
way to the back apartment that they had sat in for a time on their last visit.
Severus was absent from the space as they seated themselves in front of the
fire.
“How are you feeling?”
Lily blushed, “I hadn’t expected Apparition to have had such an effect upon me…
I haven’t been feeling altogether well lately, and it was a stupid mistake. I’m
so sorry- This wasn’t how I had envisioned starting this meeting.”
Albus Dumbledore silently studied his former pupil for a moment, eventually
running the fingers of one hand absentmindedly through the coarse hair of his
snow-white beard, blue eyes unwavering in their stare.
“Sir?”
“How long have you known?” he asked gently.
“Known what?” Severus questioned in his usual low drawl, slipping into the
room, his black robes billowing about him as he closed the door behind him.
Lily’s eyes locked upon his dark ones, terror and uneasiness suddenly building
uncomfortably in the pit of her stomach now that she was face-to-face with both
parties, “I- Umm…”
“Lily was rather unsteady after her journey to Hogsmeade,” Dumbledore
interjected, “The contents of her stomach are currently decorating my brother’s
hedge outside.”
Severus frowned, eyebrows knitting together in concern as he approached Lily in
the chair where she sat shifting awkwardly. She swallowed the hard lump that
had grown in the back of her throat, diverting her eyes to her feet in
continued discomfort.
“Are you ill?” he questioned softly, pressing the back of his hand to her
forehead.
Taking his hand in hers, she met his eyes again, green eyes filled with honest
emotion, “Not entirely… I’m pregnant.”
The words fell heavily upon the air of the room, Dumbledore stroking his beard
in a habitual pondering, and Severus glued in place at the shock of her
confession.
“How long, Lily?” Dumbledore asked after the silence had continued for some
time, “Does anyone else know?”
She swallowed hard again, “I found out a month ago… And no. Not even Frank and
Alice.”
“I’m going to be a father?” Severus finally managed, his words sounding strange
as they left his lips.
Lily smiled at him, her eyes alight with happiness, “Yes.”
He threaded his fingers gently through her hair, eyes softening at her words,
and then searching over her frame in quiet reverence for her and the safety of
the life that she carried within.
“We must figure out our next move,” Dumbledore stated, “This complicates
things, though I can hardly admit that I am completely surprised by the news…
It is a welcome development, though undeniably changes things that have been
put in place.”
“In what way?” Severus frowned.
“Lily’s safety,” the aged man replied simply, “She has been well concealed at
the cottage in Godric’s Hollow, though James Potter will undoubtedly not hold
this news to quite the same level of excitement as the two of you when it
becomes apparent.”
Lily licked her lips, nodding, “What shall I do?”
He interlaced his fingers, “For the moment I am uncertain. James has no
knowledge of your condition as far as you know?”
“Not that he has made evident,” she shrugged, “He acts no different than he has
since I returned to the house.”
Dumbledore nodded, “Good. Let us keep it that way for now. Do you know who he
selected for the Secret Keeper at your home?”
“Peter Pettigrew.”
Severus could hardly disguise the surprised expression that came over his face,
“I would have guessed Black or Lupin- “
“A matter of little consequence,” Dumbledore interrupted, “Very well. Lily, I
should like for you to stay put until you are able to speak with Frank and
Alice about the possibility of joining them at the home of Augusta and Robert
Longbottom. I am certain that they will be overjoyed by a reunion with you,
though I cannot determine for how long you will remain in their company.” He
paused for a long moment, “I do not feel it will be in the best interest of the
three of you to be reunited for long, what with all of you being threatened by
the Death Eaters in the past. But for a time, that is until we can figure out
another solution, I see no other option.”
“I would ask that you move quickly,” Severus told her, pressing a kiss to her
hand, “If there is any question as to your safety and that of our child within
your womb.”
“Severus is right,” the aged man added, “You must contact Frank and Alice at
once.”
Lily nodded, understanding the necessity of the situation. She was pleased that
they had not been angry in their learning of her changed condition, though
their concern worried her.
“I will be leaving for the Dark Lord and a meeting that is imperative that I
attend,” Severus told her quietly, “It shouldn’t be more than a few days, and
by the time I return we should find ourselves reunited.” He smiled, the
expression small and crinkling the corners of his eyes as he spoke, “I love
you. I can’t wait to be by your side and watch as you change and grow… You’ve
made me a very happy man.”
She caressed his cheek with affection, tears welling within her eyes, though
unwilling to fall.
===============================================================================
When would she begin to show?
Would it be a boy or a girl?
Were there any special tricks that she should know about to make her pregnancy
any easier?
Lily was full of questions when it came to this new part of her life, and
grateful that Alice would soon be her confidante when it came to all things
pregnancy related. Just the thought of little Neville- The probability that
their children would grow up together and hopefully become the best of friends,
had Lily smiling from ear-to-ear.
A baby clad in only a white diaper crawling across the floor… Hers and Severus’
reflections in their firstborn child’s eyes. The baby playing and eventually
taking its first uneven steps; pudgy hand holding tightly to one of their own
as its footing slowly became more and more steady.
James was gathering his things together. He had important Order business to see
to, thus allowing Lily the late afternoon visit with Frank and Alice.
“When do you think you’ll be home?”
“Not sure,” he admitted, “Probably late.”
She nodded, “Just be safe, ok?”
He stared at her for a long moment, his brown eyes reflecting something
remarkably akin to sadness from behind his glasses, “Can I ask you something,
Lily?”
“Of course! Anything.”
He took a deep breath, voice sounding vulnerable and far away, despite their
proximity to one another, “Did you truly mean what you said before? That you
never really loved me?”
“James- “
“Please,” he interrupted her, taking a step towards her, his voice scarcely
more than a whisper, “Lily… I need to know.”
She diverted her eyes from him, though remained steadfastly silent.
“I know that it won’t change anything,” he continued, “And I’m not trying to
bring up old wounds in an attempt to guilt you, or anything else. I just want-
No… I need to know if you ever loved me.”
She bit her lip, slowly bringing her green eyes up to his, “I don’t know.”
He looked crestfallen at her admission; neither a ‘yes’ or a ‘no.’ She knew
that it wasn’t the answer that he sought from her, nor was it fair. However, it
was the truth.
“I loved you, Lily Evans,” he told her with a sigh, “I loved you then, and I
love you still.”
“I’m sorry, James.”
“Me too,” he told her, kissing her on the cheek before turning to leave,
“Goodbye, Lily.”
===============================================================================
“It has been quite some time since the Dark Lord summoned you,” Lucius Malfoy
smirked, “Afraid you might be losing your favor with him?”
“Hardly,” Severus scoffed, “I have no reason to believe that things have
changed pertaining to our council when it comes to essential matters involving
our cause… He has never given me a reason to question my place or importance at
his side.”
The silvery-blonde man’s eyes glittered, “The Dark Lord has been meeting with
Bellatrix quite often as of late. Perhaps my wife’s sister may have an edge
over the both of us when it comes to our Master’s confidence.”
Doubtful.
“She left in quite a hurry just before you arrived,” he continued, leaning back
in his desk chair, “It seems she has finally managed a lead in her recent
assignment.”
“The culling?” Severus questioned in mock curiosity, “Who this time?”
===============================================================================
Lily was full of excited anticipation when she heard the knock upon the door.
It had been too long since she had last seen her dear friends, Frank and Alice.
She was close to bursting with giddiness at the prospect of sharing her big
news, as well as a joy at being able to host the two of them for a change. She
had done a quick cleaning of the house shortly after James’ departure, ensuring
that everything was in its designated place, and that tea was ready to be
served. A fire burned cheerfully in the fireplace, its radiant heat warming the
living area thoroughly.
“Lily!” Alice exclaimed, hugging her best friend at once when the door had
opened.
“What a lovely little village,” Frank added with a smile.
“Godric’s Hollow is very quiet,” she agreed, ushering them inside, “I’ve made
tea for us.”
“Thank you,” they told her, hanging their traveling cloaks on the rack by the
door and seating themselves down upon the sofa.
“James is off to London,” she explained, readying the tea, “So we should go
undisturbed for the entirety of your visit. Where’s Neville?”
“Left him with Augusta,” Alice smiled, “She insisted that he’s still too little
to be Aparating…”
“Which I agree with,” Frank stated firmly, “Though he will certainly miss
seeing you, Lily.”
“I would’ve loved to have seen him as well.”
“Enough of this chatter!” Alice laughed, “Why’d you invite us over?”
Frank frowned at his wife whilst Lily served them their tea and took her seat
in a chair situated closest to the fire, “Alice…”
“Perhaps I just wanted the pleasure of your company?” Lily stated with a mocked
and stuffy air to her voice that was clearly on purpose, “Perhaps I wanted to
show off to the two of you the home that I once shared with my ex-husband?
Goodness, Alice…! Allow me these few simple pleasures in life.”
Alice snorted and Frank rolled his eyes as he took a sip of his tea.
“I have rather big news,” Lily said with utmost seriousness.
“Well…?”
She smiled, “I’m pregnant.”
“I KNEW IT!!!” Alice shrieked, jumping to her feet.
Frank set down his teacup upon the coffee table, “Congratulations, Lily! What
wonderful news!”
“Does Severus know?!”
“Yes he does,” Lily beamed, “We haven’t been able to speak about it too much
though… I called him and Dumbledore to a meeting a few weeks ago.”
“What does Dumbledore think?” Frank questioned.
Sighing, “He seems supportive, but he’s worried… I think it’s a combination of
the fact that Severus is doing all this spying for the Order, and then the fact
that Bellatrix threatened the two of you and I.”
Frank and Alice exchanged a look at each other and then looked back to their
friend and nodded in unison and mutual understanding.
“He wanted me to tell you both of my condition,” Lily continued, “And suggested
that I ask whether you would be willing for me to rejoin your household until a
better arrangement can be provided. He assured that it would only be a
temporary living situation- Like I said, I think he’s still concerned about us
being under the same rook for too long… And I can’t blame him! I mean, I
wouldn’t want to endanger either of you, or Neville.”
“Lily, you’re family to us,” Frank told her, “You’re welcome for as long as you
need.”
Alice nodded, echoing her husband’s sentiment, “Augusta and Robert love you,
and they have grown quite fond of Severus as well. There’s no doubt that you
will have a home for as long as you need it.”
“Thank you both so much,” Lily told them, tears threatening to fall from her
eyes, “It means everything to me.”
“Does James know?” Frank questioned.
“No,” she told him at once, “Things have been going so well, but I can’t bring
myself to tell him. Even today he asked me if I had meant what I said when I
left him… And he told me that he still loves me even after all this time. What
was I supposed to do? I can’t do that to even him! He’s not a monster… He’s
made his mistakes in the past, but I couldn’t wound him so deeply with this-
Not after we finally seem to be on the right track to becoming friends.”
“Probably for the best,” Frank said quietly.
“I’m guessing that’s part of the reason that Dumbledore advised you leave
sooner than later?” Alice asked.
Lily nodded.
“Whatever the reason,” Alice smiled, “I can’t wait for us to pick up right
where we left off! And you’ll do well to be around Neville so much as well…
He’ll certainly help prepare you for when you and Severus have your own!”
With an ear-splitting ‘bang,’ the front door blew off of its hinges with enough
force that it shot across the room. In a matter of seconds all three were on
their feet, wands drawn, Frank moving slightly in front of the two women. A
lone figure stepped calmly and gingerly through the gaping hole of a doorway,
her black robes billowing around her, frizzy dark curls in crazed disarray. Her
wild eyes searched the interior of the space before coming to rest upon Frank,
Alice, and Lily. Her lips moved into a hybrid smirk-sneer, a blood-chilling
laugh cackling through the destruction and debris that surrounded them.
“Looks like he was right!” she nearly shrieked in amusement, “All three of them
here at once! The Longbottom’s and their filthy Mudblood companion!”
Her voice had been sing-sing, blood-chilling, and the last one that any of them
had expected to hear. Frank bared his teeth in obvious dislike, vein pounding
at his temple as his knuckles turned white from the tight grip he held upon his
wand. Alice and Lily exchanged a brief look at each other, adrenaline pumping
like blood through their veins. As the dust slowly began to settle around them,
the shadowy outlines of three men emerged from behind the insane witch that
stood before them. Two of the men were dark-haired and of remarkably similar
characteristics. It was obvious from one look that they were only a year or two
apart and clearly brothers. The other was much younger than his companions,
slight-of-build, with dirty blonde hair- Barty Crouch Jr. Lily knew him at
once, having recognized him as the youngest in the band of Slytherin’s that
were destined to join the Death Eater’s after leaving Hogwarts School of
Witchcraft and Wizardry. Having come from an uninterrupted line of Pure-
Blood’s, it had seemed only natural that the youth; only two years younger than
she and Severus, would join up with the Dark Lord. His features were angular,
his eyes glinting with a dark malice, lips twisted with amusement. There was
nothing comforting in his stare, something held in common by his three cohorts.
Four on three… Their odds weren’t so bad if it came to it…
“Now, now…” Bellatrix laughed, eyes quickly darkening and shifting in their
intensity, “We would hate to have to spill blood with such purity as that which
runs through your veins, Longbottom’s...” She grinned, her lips curling up with
malice, “Though the Mudblood will certainly grant us a level of enjoyment not
bestowed every day.”
“Burn in Hell, Lestrange!” Frank spat.
The two men accompanying Bellatrix and Barty Crouch Jr. exchanged looks with
each other, sneering in rage at the Auror before them.
“A pity that your little boy could not be present with us today,” Bellatrix
continued, taking a step forwards, “It would have been nice to see the little
one who has been placed upon our list… Such potential a lad born to two Pure-
blood’s might prove to possess. A shame that we will have to come for little
Neville later on after your unfortunate stumble with us today.”
Alice took a visible swallow, eyes narrowing, though the tips of her fingers
beginning to just barely tremble.
Lily could feel her own breath coming in shortened, nervous, breaths. It was
only a matter of time before someone was forced to act- There was no doubt that
someone would get hurt when it came to their encounter, it just remained to be
seen who. Her stomach rolled at the thought of the imminent confrontation, and
the fears she had surrounding her unborn babe.
Sensing the stress of his two companions, Frank opened his mouth to begin a
counter to the woman before him, the known Death Eater and her three
accomplices. What his intention, or the full extent of his negotiation had
involved would never be known.
“Enough of this-!” the elder of the two men shouted, “Crucio!”
The shriek that came from Alice was one far worse than anything that Lily had
ever heard before. It was animalistic, mixed with a terror and frightening
agony the likes of which made her shudder and find herself frozen in place.
Alice writhed from the force behind the curse cast upon her, her body twisting
and contorting in ways that were unnatural and fit for a horror movie. Her head
thrashed from side-to-side, mouth agape, eyes wide and almost unseeing in their
suffering. She kicked her legs involuntarily, fingers clawing at the
floorboards of the living room in an attempt to take hold of anything-
Something in an attempt to help her shy away from the white-hot pain that was
blistering through every vein in her body.
A roar of rage caught in Frank’s throat that was startling in its force as he
rushed Bellatrix Lestrange with his wand thrust in rage. She dodged his curse,
the red light ricocheting off of the wall opposite her and narrowly missing the
younger of the two similarly appearing men behind her. Amidst Alice’s echoing
screams a new sound became evident- Laughter. They were actually finding a
level of amusement in their actions, in their torture of innocent people who
had been guilty of nothing except the offense of not believing in the same
ideals and principles as those the Dark Lord had manipulated them into thinking
the only truth.
“Stop it!” Lily managed, her voice sounding strange in it's strangled and
desperate cries, “STOP IT!!!”
Alice’s fingernails had broken away from the nailbeds of her once slender
digits, crimson blood staining down her hands and leaving trails upon the
floor, her voice strangled and continuing in its agonized cries.
“The Mudblood doesn’t like that she hasn’t gotten a turn yet!” Bellatrix
laughed, eyes wild.
“Crucio!” Frank shouted, narrowly hitting Rodolphus Lestrange in his brief
moment of distraction.
Bellatrix spun around to find her husband shaking upon the floor, Frank’s use
of the same curse having struck the man fully in the chest and toppled him over
where he once stood.
“Avada Kevadra!” the youngest Death Eater shouted, the bright green light
catching Frank off guard and sending him flying against the edge of the
fireplace and then crumpling to the ground in a deafening thud.
“Why are you doing this?!” Lily sobbed, kneeling at her best friend’s side and
attempting all that she could to soothe the still cursed woman’s plight, “STOP
IT!!!”
Rodolphus sat up and caught his breath, nodding to his wife in a silent
indication that he would be fine- Frank’s curse having died with his own last
breath. Lily glanced to where his lifeless form remained, eyes half-lidded and
unseeing, body contorted into a most uncomfortable position. He was truly dead.
They had killed him and not blinked and eye, and still Alice twisted and
struggled in the throes of the torture curse, her breath coming hard, voice
growing more and more hoarse.
Bellatrix crossed the room to where the two women remained, hand gripping the
front of Lily’s robes and bringing her face within an inch of her own. Lily
could see the red veins within the whites of her eyes, the crazed extent of the
witch’s madness palatable in their closeness of proximity. “You've lost,
Mudblood.”
Lily gulped, attempting to back away from the woman, though finding herself
pulled tighter and closer as a response, “When we’re done here none of you will
remain. Your fate was sealed long before Mister Longbottom decided to try his
luck at cursing my husband- Look at what that got him. Your friend’s as good as
gone…” She waved her wand and brought the curse to a momentary lapse, Alice
coughing and breathing hard at the sudden relief that she felt from the pain
having been momentarily removed, “There is no loyalty in your Order, how do you
think we found you?”
“Frank?” Alice questioned softly, dragging herself towards the crumpled form
that was her husband, her voice becoming more and more desperate, “Frank-
? FRANK?!”
“Fucking idiots,” Rastaban laughed, pointing in the direction of Alice,
“Frank?” he mocked, mimicking the tortured woman's cries of concern, “Missus,
Frank’s dead.”
“No!” Alice breathed, bloodied hands clutching at the front of his robes,
broken fingers searching for any sign of life- Any means to prove the Death
Eater’s cruel comments incorrect, “No, Frank! No, no, no…! FRANK!!! WAKE UP!!!
Frank… Please…” Her voice was filled with desperation and anguish, her arms
seeking to cradle his lifeless form, hands smoothing over his paled skin, lips
finding his, her eyes reflecting nothing but fear.
Tears streamed from Lily’s eyes as she was useless to assist her friend, to
comfort Alice as she was forced to cope with the untimely and violent death of
the man that she loved, the father of her child, and the best friend she had
long pledged to share her life with until the end of their days. Dreams of
growing old together and raising their son in a home filled with love and joy-
Possibly other children in time; all of it crashing to an unfathomable and
untimely- Crushing conclusion before her eyes. The wail that came from her was
one of purest pain and sorrow… Unmatched and inconsolable in its degree.
“Oh shut up!” Barty Crouch Jr. spat, flicking his wand and commencing her
torture anew, the force of his resumed curse causing her to hit her head upon
the stone of the fireplace, blood streaming from her blood in a heavy flow that
stained down her face and neck, pooling at the front of her robes.
Alice began shrieking anew with the resumed torture coursing through her veins,
her broken hands and fingertips clawing at her robes and leaving fresh red
scratches in their wake from the jagged nails that remained on a few of her
bloodied fingertips. Her eyes bulged, almost pleading in their incomprehensible
stare, hands moving up to her mousy brown hair and tugging at it violently,
ripping out handfuls from her scalp.
Lily squeezed her eyes shut, hoping with desperation that this was all just
some horrible nightmare that she would soon wake up from- Knowing that the
truth was a reality all too frightening to bear.
“Open your eyes, Mudblood…” Bellatrix told her, her voice low and right in
Lily’s ear, “You should see what happens when those so undeserving of the gift
of magic befriend the likes of our kind that have spent generations keeping
purity to our race. Look what you’ve done to Missus Longbottom! Look at what
your friendship brought to her Mister!”
The laughter of the three men intermingled with Alice’s screams.
Bellatrix’s fingers almost caressingly slipped through Lily’s auburn curls,
lingering momentarily on the smoothness of her cheek before her voice came in a
low whisper again, “You’ve put your loyalty in the wrong people… Pettigrew was
right to tell us of your location and the meeting you were having with the
Longbottom’s. A shame you didn’t advise your ex-husband better when it came to
Secret Keepers! Clearly he has a bad judge of character.” She paused, eyes
flashing with a bright new amusement at a particularly blood-curdling scream
that forced its way from Alice’s lips, “Then again, perhaps it was his
intention for you to learn something from your actions…?” Her breath was very
hot, almost suffocating as it made contact with Lily’s skin, though her final
words brought about a devastating terror, “James Potter did request that we
keep you alive while ridding you of the bastard within your belly.”
They knew everything.
Before Lily had a chance to speak, the pain of the Cruciatus Curse had hit her
with full force from the front, Bellatrix Lestrange’s wand pressed to the
fabric of her robes, the tip of her wand digging into her abdomen with a hard
force. The last thing Lily was able to comprehend before the throes of pain
enveloped her- The feeling of a hundred knives piercing every inch of her skin,
was the shrill sing-song laughter of the evil witch before her and the
confession she had made before bestowing the torturous curse upon her. Her own
voice sounded strangled, a volume which she had scarcely ever heard before,
intermingling with that of Alice’s. And then everything faded away to
nothingness. There was only agony and pain.
===============================================================================
“The culling?” Severus questioned in mock curiosity, “Who this time?”
“Rumor has it that there’s a rat the Dark Lord’s been harboring from the ranks
of the Order,” Lucius explained, “Supposedly he divulged the location of three
known members; selling them off like lambs for the slaughter. Something about
the Longbottom’s and that deplorable Mudblood they keep in their company.”
Severus stiffened, blood chilling within his veins.
“I think her name’s Lily? Lily Potter?”
Her name had barely left Lucius’ lips when Severus had moved across the room,
grabbing his former Prefect by the throat and slamming him hard into the
bookcase behind the desk he had been seated at. The silvery-blonde wizard’s
wand went flying across the room, clattering upon the marble floor far from
reach. His eyes widened, shocked by the outburst of his fellow lieutenant,
coughing against the pressure upon his throat, eyes locking with the dark eyes
of the younger man and the enraged expression that greeted him.
“Unhand me!”
Severus tightened his grip, a strangled gurgle and cough coming hard from
Lucius as he struggled against the grip he was being held in, “Who was the
rat?”
“Fuck you.”
Severus punched him in the side of the head with his free hand, wand still
clenched in his palm. Blood trickled from the corner of the elder Slytherin’s
mouth, lips quivering with malice.
“Do not press my patience, Lucius…” Severus told his once friend through
gritted teeth, “I will not hesitate to undo you; to curse you here where you
stand, and rid your wife and son of the deplorable creature that you are. Who.
Was. The. Rat?”
Lucius turned his head and spat blood onto the floor, “Pettigrew. Peter
Pettigrew.”
It was precisely as he had feared.
“Where did Bellatrix go?” he asked, attempting to hide all clues as to his
motives from the man before him, though knowing fully that there would be no
returning to his position of lieutenant after all of this was done, or to the
Death Eaters in general. His duty to Dumbledore and the Order would expire the
moment he had fled from the Malfoy Mansion and the presence of this once friend
he currently held by the throat. “Do not make me ask you again, Lucius.”
“Godric’s Hollow,” he choked, defeat showing in his eyes.
“Who went with her?”
“Rodolphus and Rabastan Lestrange,” he confessed, “And Bartemius Crouch Jr.”
“It would do you good to reconsider your loyalties, old friend,” Severus told
him, “Consider this my one act of kindness for you- For the respect our years
together have ensured.” Lucius opened his mouth, anger clearly his motivation,
though Severus silenced him with a pointed, “Obliviate.”
A blankness immediately entered the cool grey eyes of the wizard before him,
and Severus stepped to one side, hand slipping from the front of the man’s
throat to the back of his neck. In one swift motion he slammed Lucius Malfoy’s
head with heated force into the antique, solid wood desk before them, the
wizard crumpling to the floor as unconsciousness overcame him.
He would have to act quick if there was any hope to be had. The Fidelius Charm
had been broken with Peter Pettigrew’s admission to Bellatrix and her Death
Eater squad, knowledge that scared him more than he had thought ever before
possible. He had to save her. He would do anything to find her and keep her
safe. Hopefully there was still time.
                                      ***
When Severus arrived in the small village of Godric’s Hollow, night had fallen.
It was cold and surprisingly clear, though the moon was notably absent from the
sky. Stars hung like bright lights in the inky onyx sky, the constellations
clearly visible overhead. A few buildings in the town center remained lit, some
with inhabitants still clearly moving about in their routines and evening
meanderings. As he reached the edge of the square, the darkness became far more
consuming in its intensity, the little cottages becoming more and more spread
out and many appearing dark from their resident’s having retired for the night.
His jet-black hair whipped in the icy breeze- A tell-tale sign that autumn was
rapidly turning to winter. Where was he supposed to go? On all of the occasions
that he and Lily had spoken, not once had she ever specified the location of
her past home shared with James Potter. Quietly he made his way down the lane,
farther and farther from the small center of Godric’s Hollow, and towards the
shadowy forest that made up the far reach of town. His heart was beating
faster, sweat forming in a cool dampness between his shoulder blades- The fear
for Lily’s safety making him feel all the more desperate in his need to reach
her and protect her from his fellow Death Eaters. He could only hope that Frank
and Alice’s experience as Aurors for the Ministry of Magic had proven a
valuable asset in the confrontation that was undoubtedly already underway. He
listened intently, searching for any sign of dismay in the quiet of the
darkness. Nothing.
Where was she?
Suddenly a bright flash of red light caught the corner of his eye. Drawing his
wand from the inner confines of his black robes, Severus held his breath,
racing off in the direction of the obvious magic that was afoot. Praying
silently that he was not too late.
===============================================================================
Every time that she felt that the pain was too much, too overwhelming in its
intensity, it would almost abruptly fade. Their four capturers- Death Eaters
sent on an unimaginably dark agenda, had found much amusement in taking turns
at torturing the two women. When Lily and Alice were writhing in the all-
consuming throes of the Cruciatus Curse, the only sound more petrifying than
their own screams was the sadistic laughter and amused mockery from their
tormentors.
“Listen to them sing!”
“Wonder how long it’ll be until one of them breaks…?”
“Me next! I want another turn at it!”
It was sickening the enjoyment they were feeling from the cruelty that they
were inflicting. In a brief interlude between curses, Bellatrix had paced the
space between the two spent witches. Her heels tapped upon the floor with an
echoed quiet contentment as she crouched at the crumpled form of Alice
Longbottom, wrenching her head up by a handful of matted hair. Both eyes were
blackened and swollen, tear tracks having stained both of her cheeks. Her lips
were puffy and cracked, blood still oozing down her chin.
“Where is the boy?”
She remained steadfastly silent, her eyes unseeing as they stared into her
crazed ones. Bellatrix slapped her with the back of her free hand, the sound
deafening in the quiet of the now derelict cottage.
“Do I need to ask you again?!”
“I will never give you my son,” Alice told her in a whisper, “You’ll have to
kill me.”
“That can be arranged,” Rabastan chuckled.
“She certainly looks grotesque,” Barty Crouch Jr. added, “Let me do it, Bella-
I don’t mind.”
The look which she gave her accomplice was one full of malice. With disgust she
then threw Alice back away from her, lips curled back, teeth bared in dislike,
“You’re a fool. Just as much as your idiot husband! Throwing everything away
for nothing. Death will come to you in time, though not before we are ready for
it and done with you-!” Bending close to the woman once more, “At least there
is some enjoyment in your stubbornness… We will break you. Both of you.”
In some ways Lily hoped that her death would be a swift one. That at least she
would have the comfort of dying with Alice if she was forced to leave this
world at so young an age. There was so much that she still dreamed she would
accomplish, so much that she wanted to experience and learn. In finding
Severus, it was as though her life had finally begun, truly started to take
shape, and lead her down a path that she felt destined and determined to see
through to the very end. A building sorrow, so unexplainable in its extent,
mounted within her stomach, threatening to overwhelm her and take her over. She
would likely never see him again, never realize the hope that had finally
bloomed within her at the prospect of them being together. She had to be
strong, she had to fight to live and to carry on. If not for herself, when
everything seemed so hopeless, for Alice, for Severus, and for little Neville.
Her likelihood of surviving was growing more and more dim by the moment, her
fate already seemingly sealed from the brutality that was being continually
waged against them. And yet, despite such overwhelming odds, such frightening
prospects and dread- Hope remains.
How everything changed in a moment’s time was hard to describe or imagine in
its fullest extent. As Lily’s life seemed to pass before her eyes; the
continued defiance of Alice in the face of true evil, a new change had suddenly
taken place. First a flash of green light through the broken hole of a doorway.
It had hit Rabastan Lestrange full in the chest, causing him to slam into the
nearby wall and slide down into a lifeless corpse. His eyes remained open,
though unseeing in their stare- Dead before he had hit the floor. Turning, his
brother, Rodolphus Lestrange, had barely lifted his wand before he too had been
hit with a spell, this time the light a vivid white. His eyes widened, wand
falling from his fingertips and clattering upon the floor. Bellatrix’s eyes
widened, her mouth opening in a deafening shriek. Her husband’s hands went to
his throat, his eyes bulging with fright, blood splashing through his fingers,
staining the front of his robes, his face going pale as he dropped to his knees
and then fell face first onto the floor… Motionless. Bellatrix had raced past
the two women, rolling Rodolphus onto his back and prying his fingers away from
the deep slash that hit slit his throat from ear-to-ear. Seeing the moment as
one of brief reprieve, Lily dragged herself to Alice, her heart beating so hard
and fast she was certain it would break free from her chest.
The youngest wizard, Barty Crouch Jr. stood momentarily in shock, mouth
slightly agape from the surprise that had befell them. His eyes darted about
the scene in fear, lingering upon Bellatrix sobbing over the body of her
husband, desperately attempting all that she could to revive him. Slowly his
attention returned to the two witches they had only moments before held an
upper hand in regards to. He sneered at them, Lily and Alice holding each other
close, and made his way towards them, his wand outstretched. Another burst of
white light had him gasping and then falling sideways over the sofa. A deep
slash appeared diagonally across his back, splitting the fabric of his robes to
the skin, blood seeping from the cut. Rolling onto his side he grimaced, wand
slipping from his fingertips. His eyes fluttered shut and his breathing grew
shallow, blood staining the cushions of the couch and pooling onto the floor.
With a shriek of unbridled rage, Bellatrix rose to her feet, her hair in even
more disarray than usual, her mascara staining down her cheeks from the tears
she had shed over the corpse of her husband. She rounded on the two women, then
spun around searching wildly for the source of the destruction that had
suddenly turned the tables so much.
“Show yourself, you coward! You murdering bastard!”
Through the silence that settled around the ruins of a house, the rubble of
broken lives and dreams, the steady sound of footsteps crunched through debris
and splinters. Through the darkness of the hole that was once the front door, a
shadow emerged. Slowly the figure stepped into the dimness of the space that
remained from the glow of the fireplace, his face pale and drawn, hair
shoulder-length and jet-black. His eyes were dark- Darker than usual in the
severity that they reflected as he looked upon the three women and the
destruction they cowered in.
“No! No, it cannot be! S- S- Severus?!” Bellatrix stammered.
“You never were very bright, Bellatrix,” he bit out, his wand raised.
“You've killed all of them-? You would kill me in order to save this traitorous
filth?! This blood-traitor and her Mudblood pet?!”
The quickness of his movements was astounding as he crossed the space and
slammed his fellow lieutenant onto the ground. She coughed in her rage,
struggling against his grasp.
“Your cruelty surpasses even what I had believed you capable of committing,” he
seethed, “It will give me great pleasure in ending you and the evil you so
enjoy.”
She spat in his face, “Fuck you! I will be remembered and avenged by the Dark
Lord himself!”
“As if he cares anything for anyone other than himself.”
“At least I shall die unblemished- My blood pure, as yours will never be!” she
smiled, her eyes crazed, “Avada Kevadra!”
In his rush to disable her physically, he had not realized that she had still
possessed the wand which had already caused so much pain. The green light
flashed beneath his right arm in a well-aimed jolt which struck Alice
Longbottom square in the chest, the light immediately leaving her eyes as she
slumped in Lily’s arms.
“NO!!!” Lily screamed, “Alice! Alice, no! NO!!! Please…! No, please! ALICE!!!”
When Severus returned his stare to the evil witch beneath him, he was stunned,
his rage having reached a peak.
She laughed, her usual disturbing sing-song shrillness. “All of them dead… All
but the Mudblood. Though I fulfilled at least part of my bidding…” leaning in
close she pressed her lips a fraction of an inch from his ear, “There will be
no bastard born to the Mudblood. I assume that abomination was your doing… Pity
you could never be more like us, Severus.”
Rather than magic, he snapped her neck with his bare hands, the life leaving
her eyes and form at once. Stumbling to his feet he made his way over to Lily
in her inconsolable grief. She cradled the body of her best friend in her arms,
sobbing uncontrollably, the tears coming in rivers from her beautiful green
eyes, her heart and being left shattered. He had managed to save her, though he
had been too late to save Frank and Alice. He swallowed hard, unable to speak,
unable to find the words to help console and soothe her broken heart. She had
endured so much- None of it deserved or comprehensible in its wickedness.
Looking down he saw the blood that stained the front of her robes, the
knowledge that Bellatrix had been true in her last cruel words. There would be
no child. That happiness that had been brought to them at the most unexpected
of times, in the darkest of moments when there seemed so little hope had been
dashed in the most vicious of ways. Though Severus had been able to remove the
Death Eaters permanently from the ranks of the Dark Lord- Their corpses strung
throughout the remains of the cottage in Godric’s Hollow that Lily and James
Potter had once shared, he had too been wounded. Lily had lost their baby. He
had been too late. He had failed both her and himself.
Chapter End Notes
     This chapter had been in the works since this story's very first
     inception. It was difficult for me to write, especially considering
     how much I have grown to love Alice and Frank, (Alice being based off
     of myself in many ways).
     Lily's experiences are devastating. Not just through the loss of a
     child she had grown so excited about sharing and providing a life
     for, but through the loss of her best friends (family, really). And
     of course the immense betrayal from both Peter and James.
     Friends, this was the "heavy angst" of the fic. It was necessary,
     though left me deeply saddened... I would be lying if I didn't say
     that it left me angry and close to tears.
     XOXO
     ♡ Valardoheris
     Song:
     Shattered_-_Trading_Yesterday
***** Despair *****
Chapter Summary
     Inner turmoil and questions abound.
     Sometimes it's hard to be the strong one when all you want to do is
     just curl up into a ball and pray that it was all a nightmare.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
“Nobody deserves your tears, but whoever deserves them will not make you cry.”
                            -Gabriel García Márquez
                                   [ripples]
The events that took place after Bellatrix’s death had been hazy to Lily. She
knew that Severus had tried to calm her, to ease the pain that she had felt,
but it had all been in vain. Both Frank and Alice were dead- There was no
amount of magic that could ever resurrect them and bring them back to life.
Neville, not even six months old, was now an orphan. It was a fact that she
would have to live with for the rest of her life; a cruel truth that they had
perished; murdered in cold blood, while she had somehow survived.
Leaving the cottage, her once home with James Potter, felt nothing short of
bizarre or strange. It was a mere husk of its former self; holes blown from
every angle as a mark of the cruel Death Eaters and their explosive spells. A
short distance away from the wreckage, Severus had briefly lowered her to the
soft earth. She watched his lips move as he spoke to her, though she found
herself unable to comprehend what it was that he told her- His words lost to
the wind in her own despair.
“Lily,” he tried again, “Lily, please… You must listen to me, we haven’t much
time!”
Her green eyes darted to his dark ones, finally hearing the words he spoke.
He pressed his hands to her cheeks, the slightly roughened pads of his
fingertips bringing about a wave of fresh emotion. Though still numb to much of
her own pain, a dull ache had begun to linger in the unbearable hollow of her
heart. It was the first true acknowledgement of the babe lost from her womb.
“You must be strong, my love.”
She nodded, choking back a sob, the tears escaping from her eyes and rolling
down her cheeks.
“They have cast the mark above the cottage,” Severus told her, motioning to the
grotesquely large fluorescent skull with snake protruding from its mouth; it
hung brightly and sinisterly in the night sky, “No one can know that you or I
survived this encounter… We will contact the Order and Dumbledore in due time,
but for now, we must keep ourselves safe.”
“Sev?”
“They will hunt us, Lily!” he told her with a sudden fierce intensity, “The
Dark Lord will not rest when he learns of my betrayal… He would hurt you or
anyone else in unspeakable ways in order to find me.”
“Then leave me,” she gasped, unable to look at him, her voice quiet, “I can’t
imagine hurting any more than I already do.”
Despite the chill of the autumn wind and the building ache within her womb,
nothing compared to the innermost turmoil that raged within the confines of
Lily’s own mind. She had dreamed of this child- The hope that remained in a
world so plagued by sorrow and darkness. Had it all been for naught? Had the
dreams and wishes, the hopes and desires that the world might actually cease in
its evil for only a short while been foolish expectations? It all seemed
worthless now… The danger and adventure, the planning surrounding a new future
that would be free of Voldemort and the Death Eaters. None of it mattered
anymore- And none of them did either. Frank and Alice would still be dead when
it was all over- If it ever was over. And besides that, she wondered how much
she truly mattered. Severus would certainly be better off without her; she was
positive that anyone would be. She could only slow him down… And she couldn’t
live with herself if she ended up being the reason behind his death too.
Her words cut like a dagger, piercing his usually stoic façade, and for a split
moment, he felt just as willing to give up. But Severus hurried himself with
covering their tracks instead, an action that was not lost on Lily. She wished
that she could acknowledge his efforts, all that he had done, but she was just
too exhausted in her current state to amount to much of anything at all. He
scarcely spoke a word to her, his eyes showing no hint of the emotions that
stormed beneath the surface. His brow was deeply furrowed in concentration
throughout, though his thoughts remained a mystery.
The explosion was deafening, the light not unlike that of a supernova in its
sudden blinding brightness. Lily squinted against the white light, rising up on
her shaky legs. Severus caught her before she could lose her balance and fall,
his black cloak whipping around them both as his arms encircled her, and they
vanished with a drowned out ‘pop’ into nothingness.
When they had arrived, deep within the Forest of Dean, Severus found Lily limp
within his arms. Lifting her, he cradled her within his arms, not unlike a- The
sudden realization that their baby was truly gone overwhelmed him like humidity
on the warmest summer afternoon. The pressure he felt within his chest was
astounding, the kind that made the whole of him ache with the deepest kind of
sorrow he had never before known. He couldn’t even fathom what it was that Lily
must be feeling- It was as though he had failed her all over again. He had
vowed to protect her, whatever the cost, and he had let her down… No, he had
truly let himself down. He had seen the brightness in her eyes when she had
revealed the knowledge of the life growing within her belly. He had been
pleased with the news, though stunned at the same time. Perhaps it was because
it had yet to really sink in? Strangely, knowing that the tiny soul was gone,
somehow made that fact fill him with even more guilt.
His feet tread softly across creaky floorboards, dust escaping from the cracks,
blood sticking to his soles… It was slippery and thick, the scent a strong
metallic iron that was abrasive to his nose. But there was something else there
too… The silhouette of a large man, greasy black hair and filthy clothes. He
smelled of hard liquor, the bottle still held between the fingers of his left
hand. In the other he held a thick leather belt.
Slap.
The sound of the leather from the forceful strike was enough to make anyone
unsuspecting jump. Not him, he was used to the sound… He had memorized just how
long it would be until the next blow was landed, and the one after that.
Slap.
A woman sobbing in the corner, eyes wet with tears, knees brought up tightly to
her chest. One of her eyes nearly swollen shut, her bottom lip still showing
the signs of recently dried, thickened blood.
The tent was cold when he slipped inside, laying Lily’s almost lifeless form
upon the bed. He choked on a sob that nearly surprised him with its force- A
detail that stunned him despite everything else that had already occurred that
evening. The bed that they had shared together, made love in… Their bed. It was
too much, and he knew that he needed fresh air and to clear his head before
even he would become hopeless to the growing pains of sorrow that threatened to
drown him so completely. He would get them firewood, and hopefully think of
something worthy of saying when Lily finally woke up. He paused at the door to
take in the sight of her once more, swallowing the lump of emotion at the back
of his throat as he slipped outside. Countless armloads of wood later, sweat
drying cold on his brow, Severus heard the indescribable wail of loss escape
the confines of the tent- A sound both haunting and chilling in its brutal
agony. Lily had awoken, the overwhelming pain consuming her, erupting in cries
of grief that made his heart feel as though it was turning painfully within the
confines of his chest. Severus lingered at the tent flap, desperate to go to
her, though finding himself unable to move from the spot where he stood. He
knew that he could not be strong for her when he had no strength left for
himself.
It was barely dawn when Lily had stirred from the dreamless sleep she had
fallen into. The pain had dulled some from the time that had passed since her
violent encounter with Bellatrix Lestrange and her fellow Death Eaters. She
vaguely recalled that Severus had killed them, and the knowledge neither made
her happy or sad. Deep inside she was screaming and crying just like she had
when clutching at the lifeless body of her best friend. She lifted her hands
and stared at the marred and bruised flesh. Whether the dried blood was solely
her own was a matter of little concern… Her fingers were empty, just as much as
her very being. Looking around she found herself seemingly alone in
surroundings that were only vaguely familiar. It did nothing to squash the
unease that it would only be a matter of time until the torture commenced once
more, Bellatrix and her cronies bound to leap from the shadows when she least
expected it.
Why had she lived while the rest had died? Even the babe had succumbed to the
nightmarish scenario that had unfolded within the cottage in Godric’s Hollow.
How was it fair that she should breathe and be able to see the dawning of a new
day, when the rest of them would never again know so many things that were so
often taken for granted?
Her eyes adjusted to the dim surroundings, eventually making out the form of
her lover seated across the room, his head in his hands. He looked up, noticing
her stare, and moved past her towards the tent flap. It was almost as though he
didn’t even see her… That she was no more than a part of the decorum
surrounding them.
“Severus…”
“You can bathe if you like,” he managed, not looking at her, “There’s a draught
for pain on the nightstand closest to you- It will help you sleep.”
“S- Severus?” Her voice was full of renewed anguish, intermingled with
confusion. She reached for him, feeling as though he was aware of her, though
unable to truly see her.
He slipped outside, eyes closed and breathing deeply, desperate to fend off his
own memories and frightening recollections that tore at his own mind and soul.
The walls showed signs of blood splatter, the woman’s wails becoming louder and
more desperate. The drunken bastard would laugh, the sound both chilling and
enraging in its ugliness. His breath was sour with the remains of his drink,
his teeth brown and rotting within his gums…
Slap.
The feel of warm blood upon his back, the gift of his father…
Lily’s cries invaded him again, though she was silent within the tent. He
couldn’t fight his own demons anymore, everything was hanging so heavily on him
from the horrific events that would forever remain a part of their lives. He
had been determined to be a better man than his father, to protect Lily from
that kind of darkness that was so often hidden in plain sight. Yet, despite all
of his attempts, it had once again managed to sneak into his life… Choking back
a sob of his own, he slipped down to his knees and gave in to his sorrow.
Chapter End Notes
     My heart breaks for our lovers. :'(
     “Then leave me,” she gasped, unable to look at him, her voice quiet,
     “I can’t imagine hurting any more than I already do.”
     I legitimately cried writing this.
     Also, thank you to everyone who is still staying with me and
     supporting me with such wonderful comments and kudos throughout!
     I love and appreciate you all very much.
     Song:
     My_Immortal_-_Evanescence
***** Resilience *****
Chapter Summary
     After so much sorrow, and a lapse in communication/ understanding,
     our lovers must fight their way through the darkness and reemerge
     stronger in the light.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
 “Sometimes you wake up. Sometimes the fall kills you. And sometimes, when you
                                fall, you fly.”
                                 -Neil Gaiman
                                    [hope]
December_of_1980
In the month since that fateful night that had so changed their lives
completely, Severus and Lily remained in their quiet solitude of the campsite-
Lost deep within the Forest of Dean. Things were hard for the couple, and
Severus found himself continually turning away from Lily- From their bed, from
himself, from everything.
During the day they scarcely spoke, often eating in silence when they took
their meals, or disappearing completely into their chores and necessary work.
When nightfall came, he would sleep sitting up in a chair, leaving the bed for
her.
Through this period, Lily slowly found her own strength to push on and move
forward. It was not unlike the time that she had realized her marriage wouldn’t
work, and that she had to make her own way and find the happiness that she knew
she deserved. It was not from a miraculous revelation or insight that suddenly
came to her, but from the knowledge that she had to. Currently, she had no one
who she could relate or sympathize with… Even if she was able to seek out a
companion, the only person she would have ever discussed such matters with
would have been Alice.
Alice.
But she couldn’t think about that now. The pain was still too fresh, the wounds
barely healed. She did not pretend to understand why Severus had suddenly
become so distant towards her, and despite her hurt feelings, she figured- Or
at least hoped that it was his own strange way of coping with everything that
had transpired. His distance had left her to contemplate and sort through her
own emotions.
She endured.
However, it was not without the terrible pull of guilt or feelings of failure
that threatened to occasionally consume her. She hadn’t realized how ready to
be a mother she truly was- How much that feeling and longing for a child to
call her own had deeply affected her. Bellatrix had cruelly stolen that from
her in a moment of all-consuming evil. Was Severus’ distance an unspoken
realization that she was weak? That she had been unfit to carry a child all
along? It hadn’t been her fault! And yet her mind still shouted that it was,
that everything was due to her own carelessness.
===============================================================================
The Forest of Dean held a serene stillness in the quiet of the early morning,
the snow sitting chilled upon the frozen ground, icicles hanging in shimmering
crystal formations from all heights of the trees. The few animals that
continued to call the woods home went about their routines in usual silent
steps, searching for whatever grasses might remain deep within the wintery
crust. Neither Severus or Lily had ventured from their secret hiding place
since calling the forest home; neither had any inkling of what was occurring in
the wider Wizarding World, or of what developments or news that might be of
utter importance. As though by fate, or some unknown magic to either of them,
their solitude was about to be ended with the arrival of an unexpected visitor.
The black leather boots left tracks through the freshly fallen snow, though the
footsteps were light enough to not be audible to anyone beside the individual
leaving them in their wake. A lone snowy owl called from its nearby perch, the
forest mostly silent as the sun continued rising from the east. The long deep
purple robes swished silently around the man’s lithe frame, long white beard
swaying as he continued on his path. Where precisely he was heading, Albus
Dumbledore wasn’t certain, all he knew was that the Deluminator had not lied to
him when he had overheard their voices. Against everything that ‘The Daily
Prophet’ reported, and all of the intel that the Order of the Phoenix had
gained, he was too aged a man to think himself insane at this point of his many
years of life. He knew what he had heard, no matter what everyone else might
suspect… No matter what the evidence might show. The possibility that they had
survived, that they remained alive, though hidden- It was welcome news,
something that he had to check up on. Deep blue eyes darted continually around
him from behind his half-moon spectacles, searching for any clue or hint as to
the location of the individuals in question.
Protected from the various charms that he had put in place surrounding their
camp, Severus Snape saw the aged man first. He had been stunned, frozen in
place from the surprise at finding a familiar face so close at hand, wondering
how the great wizard had come to discover their hiding place when it hadn’t
been anything of common knowledge, lest of all to themselves. Selecting to not
bother Lily with the surprising news, he took a deep breath, wiping his hands
off on his robes and securing his wand firmly within his grip, before passing
through the barrier.
“Severus.”
“Sir.”
“You’re alive, then!”
He nodded.
“And Lily?”
Severus found himself unable to answer his question, eyes instead studying his
hands.
“Lily lives as well?” Dumbledore pressed, asking once more.
“Aye,” the younger man finally managed, “Much has happened.”
“Indeed,” he nodded, “Might I join you for a short while? I presume that your
camp is well protected… I do not wish to impose; however, I feel we have much
to speak about.”
A brief silence fell between them when all that could be heard was the
sorrowful cry of the wind through the trees. Part of Severus wanted to deny his
former Headmaster, to tell the old man that neither he or Lily wanted anything
to do with him, to hear anything of what had been going on in the war against
Voldemort. Hadn’t it all caused them all enough pain and suffering? Especially
Lily… And how would she react, what would she think to find that they had been
discovered in a place they had finally come to believe was deep enough hidden
from all of the pain and tragedy that was all too common an occurrence in the
real world? They had seen the evil that man and woman alike were capable of-
Lily firsthand. But Severus knew better than to object so rudely to a man who
had, through time, managed to accept him as changed enough to right past
wrongs.
He nodded, “I’d like to tell Lily first, if you don’t mind… Much has happened.”
At the repetition of his phrase, Dumbledore nodded kindly, a spark of something
unfamiliar momentarily visible in the electric blue eyes he was so known for,
“I will wait.”
Severus turned his back on the wizard and passed back through the invisible
barrier, hoping that Lily would not be too shaken by the unexpected discovery.
As he slipped through the tent flap he found her washing dishes in the tiny
kitchenette, her long auburn hair tied up in a high and messy bun, the sleeves
of her grey sweater rolled up past her elbows, humming something in a quiet,
yet hauntingly beautiful melody.
He watched her for some time, mesmerized by her movements, cursing himself for
his continued inability to properly communicate with her all of the things that
he wished he could say. She had stopped crying a fortnight after he had rescued
her from the wreckage of Godric’s Hollow- If rescued was a proper description.
Still, her words spoken in the aftermath continued to echo within the confines
of his mind, breaking down his psyche in the earliest hours of the morning, or
the latest hours of the night.
Then leave me… I can’t imagine hurting any more than I already do.
He cleared his throat pointedly, attempting to alert her to his presence
without startling her. She glanced over her shoulder, wiping her hands on a
dishtowel, “I didn’t think you’d be back yet…”
“I hadn’t planned on it,” he blurted, immediately regretting the words and
coughing uncomfortably, “We have a visitor.”
Lily cocked her head slightly to the side, eyebrows knitting together slightly,
“Who?”
“I was chopping wood when I caught sight of movement through the forest,” he
told her, “Dumbledore has stumbled upon our camp.”
Her mouth opened slightly with surprise as she turned to fill the kettle with
water and make the necessary preparations for tea, “He must be frightfully
cold!” she exclaimed, “You should see him inside.”
Nodding, Severus slipped back outside of the tent and rejoined their former
Headmaster, leading him past the barrier that had protected them since escaping
the evils that had very nearly torn them from one another again.
“It’s such a surprise to see you, sir!” Lily managed as they entered the homey
little tent, “I’ve just put on a pot of tea, it shouldn’t be long.”
“Lily,” he managed, eyes transfixed upon his former Head Girl, “As I live and
breathe… I had sworn we had lost the both of you.”
She bit her lip, turning from his gaze and fiddling with cups, “In some ways
you have.”
“What happened?”
Severus sat down at the small table where he and Lily shared their meals on
occasion, hands moving through his long black hair, “It’s rather an unpleasant
and long story…”
“Regardless,” the aged man continued, “It comes as quite a shock that the two
of you have managed to survive. I rushed to the scene myself, accompanied by
Kingsley, Remus, and Minerva shortly after we received word of a mysterious
explosion. However, by the time we had arrived all that remained of the cottage
was debris and the remnants of death and destruction. The Dark Mark hung high
in the sky, though all traces of those responsible were seemingly lost… As the
days progressed into weeks we have learned more of the various deaths that
occurred on the night of All Hallow’s Eve. My deepest condolences regarding
Frank and Alice Longbottom.”
Lily stiffened at the sink, her hands reaching out and clutching the basin for
momentary support. She didn’t turn around, and Severus avoided his eyes as
well.
“You were both there?”
He nodded.
“What happened?”
“Isn’t it enough what you already know?” Severus spat with sudden irritation,
darkness flaring in his voice and form.
“Sev…” Lily began slowly, her back still to the two men.
He stood up from the table, the chair’s legs shrieking an unpleasant sound from
the force of being moved back so quickly, “Damn it, why can’t we just leave it
in the past!”
As he spat forth his words, Lily turned around to face them. Her eyes were wide
as she stared at him, seemingly scoffing in disbelief at his attempts to rebuff
Dumbledore’s questions. Severus narrowed his eyes at her, flexing his jaw in
irritation. He was not angry with her, nor was she at him, it was all just the
intensity of their emotions and having to finally speak their parts of the dark
tale that they had managed to somehow survive. Lily crossed the room and the
space between them, Dumbledore having excused himself from the tent for a
moment, having seen the interaction that was taking place.
Severus watched as his hands moved to her face and gently brushed his thumbs
around her eyes and down her cheeks. He was so focused upon her face and the
motions of his hands, that he did not realize that she had made a reach all her
own. Without breaking the gaze that they had established, Lily brushed the
fingertips of one hand lightly under his chin and down his neck. He exhaled a
hot breath in surprise, eyes softening at her touch, and despite herself, Lily
found herself smiling inside. It was the first moment of something between them
after weeks of sorrow had plagued every aspect of their lives. Though his face
and expression remained one of fierce protection and grimness, his eyes slowly
smoothed to something reminiscent of his past self- The man that he had become
after finding a new promise of a future and life with this woman who he had
long loved and pined for.
She swept her hand further down the front of him, the feeling of his clothes
and his form familiar, and yet new from their absence of proximity and true
intimacy. Once midway, she shifted herself entirely, his hands moving away from
her face as she slid both of her arms around him. Resting her head against his
chest, she embraced him. Truthfully, it was not a gesture meant for him, it was
what she had long needed from him.
Lily knew that he was desperate to spare her from any more grief or pain that
was associated with that fateful night, but she also knew that in not
recognizing the magnitude of such an atrocious series of events that it was no
better. She no longer wished to live in the past, to dwell upon the
unchangeable events that would forever be a part of her life. However, to deny
that they had ever happened, to pretend that it was all just a horrendous
nightmare was also not healthy or reasonable. She needed for him to understand
that she was not a broken toy, or a chipped piece of china that could never be
repaired… She needed the assurance from him that she was not alone. Their
awkwardness and distance had gone on long enough since Frank and Alice had been
killed, and their babe had become nothing but a sad memory. No, Lily needed for
Severus to continue being strong- They both needed to be strong in order for
them to come through their heavy darkness whole.
He was overly tense; she could feel it as she continued to hold herself to him.
Even when he rested his hands against her back and pulled her closer to him;
even when she felt his face bury in the top of her hair and a slow and heavy
breath leave his throat in a low sigh. There was no doubt that their sudden
closeness was something almost new again for them both and in that newness and
acknowledgement of their hardships, equally strained and painful.
“He doesn’t know what happened,” she managed, “We cannot qualm him for
wondering.”
He pulled away from her slowly, taking a step back, “I should get him.”
Lily nodded, and Severus took another deep breath, his hands moving down her
arms in an almost ghostly lightness, his fingers brushing over hers. His touch
was nothing short of welcomed and missed, so much so that Lily almost
questioned it happening at all. The tingling and slight pressure from where his
fingertips and hands passed was both welcome and distracting. Without intending
it, or perhaps even realizing it, Severus had seduced her. She was not yet
ready for that though, one step at a time. She straightened and took a step
away from him in turn as she made to finish the tea preparations, and he to
fetch their former Headmaster once more.
===============================================================================
The little wood burning stove kept the interior of the tent warm as Albus
Dumbledore sat at the little table and sipped his piping hot cup of Earl Grey
tea. Lily had remained in the little kitchenette, leaning against one of the
dated cabinets, while Severus had joined their former Headmaster in the other
wooden dining chair. They each had different tales to tell, together adding and
interjecting portions as it became evident. How had Severus known where to find
Lily when he had never before traveled to Godric’s Hollow, or seen the cottage
she had once shared with James Potter? How had Lily and Alice managed to stay
quiet despite the brutality that had been unleashed upon them both? Was
Neville’s location still a secret? Neither Severus or Lily shared the detail of
her miscarriage or the strain that had fallen upon their relationship since
that fateful night on the last day of October. After the majority of the tale
had been told, Lily excused herself to get some fresh air, Dumbledore having
requested a moment with each of them alone. Severus had yet to tell Lily the
detail of Peter Pettigrew’s allegiance to the Dark Lord, a factor he had
learned while forcing the necessary information of her location from Lucius
Malfoy. It was that detail that he revealed to Dumbledore in their moment of
private dialogue. They then switched, Lily seating herself before the aged man,
and Severus retreating to the exterior of the tent for a few moments. Her
details were from that vicious moment where Bellatrix Lestrange had become
loose-lipped; the moment right before she had murdered the babe within Lily’s
belly.
Pettigrew was right to tell us of your location and the meeting you were having
with the Longbottom’s… James Potter did request that we keep you alive while
ridding you of the bastard within your belly.
As with Severus before her, Dumbledore had seemingly shown little reaction to
the information, his long slender fingers interlacing in thought as he
continued to occasionally sip his tea and listen to every detail. In the end,
he had suggested that they remain in the safety of their camp until he was able
to send word to them. It had been only just shy of a week before an owl arrived
with news. They were to seek refuge at a cottage long owned by the Dumbledore
family, kept in virtual isolation on the western coastline, and well protected
by a Fidelius Charm that he was the Secret Keeper of. The only other soul that
knew of the cottage’s existence was Aberforth, and there was no question of the
man’s loyalty, even despite his lack of trust towards Severus Snape. It was the
next day that the pair arrived at their new home, feeling like lost souls
wandering in a world that had no true place for them.
The cottage was nothing short of quaint in size, not all that much larger than
the tent that they had spent the past month living in. But it did have its
benefits when it came to a real bathroom and everyday necessities that were
common amongst both Muggle and Wizarding homes. The scent off of the ocean,
even in winter, was one reminiscent of childhood and easier times. It was a
comfortable little house, everything that the two of them needed. After
settling in, they discovered another note upon the table had informed them of
the continuation of their former Headmaster’s plans.
S.S. & L.E.P.
I hope that you will find the cottage to your liking, it has been years since
anyone has properly considered it a home. Students have left for the holidays;
have planned a meeting for later this week at H.S.W.W. It is my hope that the
two of you will join us- It has been long overdue. Only three other trusted
Order members will be present.
Yours,
A.P.W.B.D
-Reach the Hog’s Head Inn; A.D. will assist you from there... 8:30pm.
Under the cover of darkness, Severus and Lily had managed to slip through the
tiny village of Hogsmeade unnoticed, and into the abandoned barroom of the
Hog’s Head. Leading the pair, Aberforth brought them to the little sitting room
of his personal apartment, where they had met before. The portrait of Ariana
Dumbledore remained on the wall in its usual position, though it had opened to
reveal a secret passageway. Motioning that they should be on their way, the
younger Dumbledore stood in silence as they slipped through the opening and
gradually became lost from sight. When they had reached the end of the
passageway, Severus and Lily found themselves in a room that neither of them
had ever seen before, though obviously Hogwarts in its location. It was empty,
all except for their former Headmaster who awaited them kindly. Much like his
younger brother, Albus Dumbledore was quick to lead them from the space and
into the abandoned corridors of the castle, speaking not a word, and walking at
a brisk pace towards the Astronomy Tower. Given the hour, both former students
knew curfew to be in place, with Argus Filch undoubtedly patrolling the many
hallways with his equally nosey pet cat, Mrs. Norris. It was doubtful that they
would cross paths with anyone during their time within the confines of the
castle, though there was hardly a safer place that they could be given the
circumstances.
“The others are already here,” Dumbledore told them once they had reached the
specified level and location of the meeting he had arranged, barring the door
behind them so that they would have utmost privacy. “You will find Kingsley
Shaklebolt, Remus Lupin, and Professor- Excuse me, Minerva McGonagall in the
next room. They are all known members of the Order of the Phoenix, and I am
assured of their loyalty above all others. They do not know that you are
coming, nor do they realize that either of you live after the events of All
Hallow’s Eve. It is time that they understand the gravity of the situation at
hand, and what evils the Death Eaters and their Master are capable of.” He
turned to Severus, “They also must understand what a great service you have
done for us in light of all the potential danger.”
“Are you sure that it’s safe?” Lily heard herself question, surprised to hear
her own voice.
Dumbledore’s eyes were filled with kindness as he studied her for a moment,
“They have all taken Veritaserum.”
Knowing the potion’s renowned effectiveness, as well as its power as the most
widely controlled truth serum available within their world, Severus and Lily
found themselves all the more relieved for whatever the meeting was bound to
throw their way.
As if sensing their approval, Dumbledore continued to the door ahead of them,
“I will make the introductions.”
At the appearance of Lily and Severus, the room went silent as the grave. Remus
rose to his feet, eyes widening as they fell upon the auburn-haired woman he
had once protected in the old London home of their fallen colleagues. After a
short while, his gaze shifted to the tall wizard that stood beside her, his
features hardly changed in the years since Hogwarts. Both Minerva and Kingsley
exchanged mutual looks of shock and surprise, neither of them able to speak as
well.
“Though it has been proven that Peter Pettigrew was a rat within our ranks,”
Dumbledore began, “I would be lying if I didn’t admit to us having a mole of
our own within the Death Eaters… Unfortunately for the Dark Lord, his was
nothing more than a cowardly fool. Though Pettigrew’s betrayal is nothing to
quaff at, it is something of a shame we were unable to detect his treachery
before he struck.” At his words he gave Lily a grim look, sadness playing in
his blue eyes, “However, the Dark Lord never suspected that one of his
lieutenants would be capable of finally seeing the light, and in that we have
not lost everything, or hope of still triumphing over his evil.”
“We thought you were dead!” Remus finally managed, making his way to Lily where
she still stood silently at Dumbledore’s elbow; gently he took her shoulders in
his hands and then embraced her tightly.
“Very nearly,” she admitted, eyes meeting his for a quick moment before finding
her shoes.
“The house in Godric’s Hollow is nothing more than a crater,” Minerva managed,
eyes wide, “We had presumed that there were no survivors… Especially after
seeing what little had remained.”
“It was a brilliant answer to a horrible series of events,” Dumbledore
explained, “Kingsley, would you tell everyone what the Auror’s discovered at
the site?”
“Nothing,” he told them, eyes finding each person’s in turn, “Apart from the
signs of the obvious usage of Unforgiveable Curses, there was little left to
recover apart from the remains of Frank and Alice Longbottom, and then
Bellatrix Lestrange.”
“They found a lot of blood at the scene,” Remus added with a cringe, eyes still
glued to Lily with concern.
“Yes,” Kingsley continued with a nod, “Some of it belonging to the
aforementioned three, though most of it identified as having belonging to the
Lestrange brothers- Rodolphus and Rastaban. It came as quite the surprise
within the Ministry of Magic when the allegiance of Bartemius Crouch Jr. was
discovered through partial remains… Certainly not a positive revelation for his
father, the Head of Magical Law Enforcement, to discover the treachery of his
own son,” he paused, eyes coming to rest upon Lily, who looked up at feeling
his stare, “There was a fair amount of blood attributed to you as well… We were
all in mutual agreement that you must have been met with a similar fate to that
of Frank and Alice.”
“What happened?!” Minerva managed, concern in her voice, “My goodness, it must
have been horrible.”
The retelling of the events of that fateful night had been something that they
had both been prepared would be expected of them. As much as they had dreaded
speaking about it, about reliving the countless horrors and atrocious memories,
they did so in hope that it might be for the last time. Severus and Lily once
again omitted certain details, neither of them speaking of the knowledge that
they had learned at differing moments, facts that still remained unspoken to
each other. Only Dumbledore knew of everything in its almost entirety. In the
end, Kingsley Shaklebolt was the only one to show a lack of emotion when it
came to the night in question, a fact that was most likely due to his history
as an Auror for the Ministry. But Minerva McGonagall looked disgusted and
enraged, her hands balled up into fists upon the table before them. Remus Lupin
looked nothing short of sick, he kept shaking his head with each new detail
that emerged within their story; a look of anguish at what his friend had been
forced to live through proved to have affected him quite deeply.
Almost an hour-and-a-half later, the Hogwarts House Elves brought up food and
beverage during a momentary reprieve. They moved about the space mingling in
quiet conversation and stretching their legs. Lily kept her distance from the
rest, and as if sensing her unease, Severus selected to make his presence
known. She made no effort to turn in his direction, though when she felt the
familiar warmth about her ear and neck, her eyes closed instinctively. Severus’
voice seemed to almost vibrate through her, from ear to stomach, and Lily found
that the closeness of his body to hers was something she sorely needed. She
slowly let out a deep breath, the flesh at the nape of her neck prickling.
“Do you want to get some air?”
When Lily finally blinked her eyes open, she found that he had moved before her
and had offered her his hand, “Thank you, yes.”
He cupped her fingers tightly to his palm, and then slowly slipped his own
fingers between hers. The upper viewpoint of the Astronomy Tower was not far,
and if it was clear enough out, it would prove an impeccable view of the
heavens. Together they climbed the stone steps, eventually reaching a heavy
wooden door only just before the true top. They slipped through it and out onto
a small balcony that would normally fit around four people, though was
predictably deserted. Lily removed her hand from his grasp at once and went to
the railing, leaning upon it, the chilly winter air feeling refreshing within
her lungs. The cold was dry, the snow upon the mountains illuminated in the
darkness by the moon and the millions of stars shimmering overhead. As her eyes
slowly adjusted, she smiled at the tiny snowflakes swirling before her, a sign
that a new dusting of snow would be present by morning.
Having forgotten her traveling cloak within the lower chamber, Lily became
suddenly aware of just how frigid it actually was in the open. As if sensing
her sudden cold, she found herself embraced on either side by the softness of
Severus’ cloak, feeling the heat of him at her back. Tucking the garment around
her more firmly, she stood as close to him as she could without touching him, a
nervousness plaguing her as though she was suddenly a teenager once more. Still
they struggled to find the words to speak to one another; the answer to the
unspoken questions that were restless within their minds.
The child they had both wanted.
The tranquil lull she felt in the peaceful winter surroundings was beginning to
fade in light of her wandering mind. With equal swiftness, she made up her mind
to turn and face him. Gazing up she saw him clearly, the illuminating glow from
the Astronomy Tower around them was no less radiant on skin as it was on the
steadier falling snowflakes that surrounding them. He was peering out and over
her head, focused upon the scenery, his dark eyes holding a softness that
surprised her. When Severus looked down at her, his face suddenly became
pitched in shadows. His eyes vanished into nothingness, the only hint of him
made visible from the silhouette of his jaw; movement suggesting that he seemed
to be preparing to speak. Lily’s breath quickened when she felt his fingers
lightly brush and caress at her neck; she closed her eyes against his touch.
She felt his warm breath upon her skin again, her own catching in her throat.
What almost transformed into a word from Severus was cut short by the
unexpected interruption from the doorway behind them.
“Dumbledore asked me to find you,” Remus told them awkwardly, eyes apologetic,
“He said that you can head for home if you’re ready, Lily… It doesn’t sound
like we’ll be too much longer tonight.”
She was cold immediately as Severus stepped away from her and spoke something
to Remus. The wizard nodded at whatever Severus had spoken to him, and then
flashed Lily a kind smile as he headed back down the staircase and out of
sight. When they were once again alone together, Severus turned back to her,
his face once more obscured in darkness. Lily felt him more than anything, his
entirety lost to the night as he came closer to her still. His hand cupped her
jaw, pulling her face up so that her cheek rested against his own. His mouth
was next to her ear, his voice quiet and calm.
“I won’t be long, but you must listen,” he began, pulling her closer still,
“Make no stops when you leave, since you will be Aparating alone. Do not pause
for anyone or anything that might incidentally appear. Go straight to the
cottage by the sea and lock the doors up tight.” He held her almost impossibly
close, voice urgent, “Do you understand?”
She nodded, “Yes. I understand.”
As he backed away from her, she smiled. Despite the awkwardness and distance
that had come between them recently, she was no less touched by his continued
concern for her, especially after everything that they had gone through.
Perhaps something like hope truly did remain.
                                      ***
Lily had tried to stay awake and wait for Severus’ return, but eventually she
had dozed off, all but forgetting his impending arrival. It was well past the
witching hour when she was startled awake from her dreamless sleep. It was not
the ‘click’ of the door, or the sound of familiar footsteps within the cottage
which awakened her from her slumber- No, it was rather the crash of noise from
the living room that seemed to reverberate throughout the whole space.
Instinctively she burrowed herself deeper beneath the blankets, her eyes glued
all the while upon the door that she could barely see through the surrounding
darkness. Nothing ever made its way inside of the room, but the intermittent
sounds of destruction from the other room were nothing short of deafening.
Eventually, the more robust banging faded, though she was still able to make
out the distinct sound of angry muffled words and cursing.
She wasn’t certain what had motivated her to leave the comfortable warmth and
safety that was her bed, but rise she did. Fumbling through the darkness she
pulled on a white T-shirt and pair of grey sweatpants, leaving her feet bare.
She ventured into the room that contained Severus with some caution, unaware of
what had possibly possessed him into having had such an outburst. It escaped
her how he could be so upset, though she knew that if there was any possible
way of her easing whatever suffering he might be feeling, she had to try.
Lily moved carefully into the living room, gingerly side-stepping the various
destruction- Books, splinters of wood, and broken glass. She reached the sofa,
standing at the far end, and stared at the profile of her lover through the
dimness. He sat on the floor, his back against the piece of furniture, his legs
stretched out in front of him towards the fireplace. He was surrounded by the
wreckage of the room, seemingly unaware or uncaring of the mess, and staring
deeply into the dying coals of the fire.
Severus could see his in his peripheral vision, and watched as she made a
tentative step towards him, his own fierceness of tone surprising himself,
“Don’t!” he bellowed, “How could you not have told me about what she said?!”
She startled at his words, but the rest of her remained calm, moving no further
than where she has already stepped. She understood the meaning of his question
at once, knowing that Dumbledore had revealed to him and the others about the
brutal confession Bellatrix had uttered during her torturous rampage. Instead
of turning to leave or answering his inquiry, she slowly cleared a patch of
debris from the sofa, and then sat down. She waited, speaking not a word. In
the dim light she watched Severus’ eyes shift back and forth in little
increments, clearly working through some inner conflict that plagued his mind.
Her quiet observations were interrupted by the unexpected feel of his fingers
lightly coming to rest upon her foot, his thumb gently brushing the sensitive
skin in the smallest of caresses. He didn’t look at her, the deep red coals of
the fireplace still holding his attention, but his fingers curled around her
ankle as his thumb continued to work in its attentions.
Only when he had stopped for a moment in the tiny strokes, did Lily take the
opportunity to slip her own fingers over his. He was still looking away from
her, but automatically twined his own in and around hers. With slow movements,
Lily stood, her hand still in his, taking the few steps that remained in order
to be next to him. Though his vision remained trained upon the glow within the
remaining embers, when he felt Lily’s knee and thigh brush against his personal
space- His chest, followed by the backs of her fingers brushing his hair behind
one ear, and then tracing the line from his temple to jaw, he closed his eyes.
She untangled their fingers, his arm softly dropping back to his side. He could
smell her, his senses seemingly coming alive in the closeness of their
proximity. She was fresh and clean, though just a hint of vanilla and
honeysuckle seemed to shine through. With his eyes closed, his body at ease, he
found that it was the calm of her familiar scent that kept him relaxed. Even
when he felt her sit astride his thighs, even when he felt her fingers
manipulate his neck so that he was tilting his head back, even when her lips
came to rest over his. She was not kissing him, just resting there, her nose
lightly brushing his. As Lily managed to lull him into a truly comfortable and
calm state, he realized just how much she always had been everything that he
needed. Her breath was the warmth of a summer day, her body the soft bed that
he wanted nothing more than to sleep in for eternity. Her hands somehow had the
effect of replacing his tension and troubles with her own peace and serenity.
Slowly all of the evening’s details and events seemed farther and farther away-
Each of her touches and caresses becoming all the more needed and welcome. It
was as though she understood that it was not only for her or him, but something
that they both truly needed.
Moving her lips away and leaning back slightly, Lily lightly moved her fingers
down from his scalp to his face, tracing a path from the back of his neck to
the front. Severus’ eyes remained closed, but he let out a deep breath of
contentment. His mind formed a wall of heat and arousal that he had not known
since the darkness had threatened to consume them both- Since he believed he
had lost her forever.
Every time Lily placed her lips upon his skin, a steady tremor seemed to
vibrate through the both of them. There was no sound, no audible source, just
the feeling. She found herself unable to hold back the smile that she felt at
knowing his pleasure from her attentions. It made her truly happy for the first
time in what seemed like ages. Through her weeks of darkness and all-consuming
despair, it seemed as though a streak of light had finally appeared to lead her
forward. She leaned into him even more, tucking her face against his stubble-
roughened skin, feeling as though letting go of him would only plunge her once
more into the endless melancholy that she had been drowning in. This time when
his hands moved over her back, she felt his fingertips tighten in their hold of
her- As though he needed her just as much as she did him. They stayed like that
for a long while, neither willing to move, neither needing to utter a single
word.
Eventually, Lily stirred within his arms, her voice seeming to come almost
straight from him. It was one word, the name he always longed to hear her
speak, and would never tire of hearing her say it for all the rest of his life,
“Severus…”
When he bowed his head forward again and opened his eyes to focus, he wondered
for just a fleeting moment if he had fallen asleep and was still dreaming. She
seemed made of the glow from those remaining embers. It was as though they had
surrounded her and brought life to her through their entrancing and hypnotic
glow. He touched his fingers to her face and neck to prove that he was living
and breathing at the sight of her before him, and he silently prayed that he
might remember it always. For a moment, Lily also wondered whether he was
sleeping before her, though his dark eyes remained intently focused upon only
her. She smiled at him, and then moved back out of his reach, away from his
touch, off of his lap, and stood before him.
His eyes never left hers, and he rose, knowing that she was seeking he follow
her. He knew in that moment that he would journey with her to the ends of the
Earth if she willed it. Severus stared at Lily, her smile remaining upon her
perfectly pink lips, her arm extended, offering him her hand. Who was he to
resist her after so long a time? The choice was simple; he gave her his hand
and followed her wordlessly as she led him into the bedroom.
She had undressed him slowly, removing one piece of clothing at a time. By the
time he had found himself naked before her, he was also incredibly hard. He
ached for her in a way that he had never before thought possible, and in a way
that he could scarcely even explain if it had been asked of him. He stood in
wait, watching each movement that she made with quiet awe of her grace and
beauty.
How he loved her.
When she had backed away from him and began removing her own clothing, he had
felt his cock twitch and the removal of each article of clothing in turn. When
she too, stood equally bare before him, every curve of her body held him
transfixed as though he were seeing it for the very first time. The slow rise
and fall of her breasts with every inhale and exhale of breath, was made even
more mesmerizing as they pushed against his body when she moved to embrace him.
The sensation of skin-on-skin did nothing except fill his already warmed blood
with a new burning heat.
“Lily…” his voice was hushed and heavy as he spoke her name, moving behind her.
He wrapped his arms around her, burying his face within her thick and fiery red
hair, ignoring the fact that she undoubtedly felt his heated erection at her
back. He wanted to feel her, to feel himself against her. Moving her long hair
aside, he placed his lips upon the soft skin of her neck, slowly moving his
lips to the nape of her neck and then between her shoulder blades. He came to
rest his forehead in that same place, his fingertips wandering over her naked
form. He sought to rediscover her- Every inch of her. In the wake of his
touches, she began to almost purr and softly moan her approval. He gently
turned her in his arms, needing to taste her mouth, and finding in the urgency
of her kiss, that she seemed to need it just as much as he did.
Lily kissed him so hard and so deep that it was as though her very life
depended upon it. In response, he kissed her back with an equal desperation,
knowing he would give his life for hers in a heartbeat if it meant seeing her
happy once more. When she broke the kiss, his hand lingered upon her face. He
was overcome with her beauty, even with the added redness of her mouth from the
coarseness of his unshaven skin. His hands drifted down the slender bend of her
neck, across her shoulders and upper arms, and down to her breasts. His thumbs
brushed across the sensitive flesh of her nipples in almost feather light
caresses, teasing them into hardened points. At some point during his
attentions, his mind suddenly drifted to thoughts of the other. Lily watched
his face as his hands moved from her chest, one settling upon her hip, while
the other came to rest low on her belly. His dark eyes held a deep sadness, but
only for a moment before he looked at her directly. It was hard to judge his
emotion, though she sensed an understanding in what it was that he felt. She
placed her hand over his, and felt a pang of sorrow as he petted her tenderly
where the baby would have grown. She pulled away from him, moving his hand in
the process, leading him up onto the bed.
He couldn’t look away from the loveliness of her as he entered her slowly,
melting into the exquisite heat and slick tightness that was uniquely her. It
had seemed like a lifetime since he had loved her. In the same moment that he
filled her, he felt her fingernails scrape upon his back, followed by the sound
of what seemed to be a painful cry amidst her breathing. He immediately locked
his eyes with hers and felt his heart break at the sight of tears falling from
her stunning emerald green eyes. Without a second thought, he retracted himself
from her, staring at her with quiet concern, though she refused to meet his
eyes with her own; instead silently shedding more tears.
“I’m sorry,” she half gasped, half whispered.
He ran a hand through his jet-black hair in worry, “Did I hurt you?”
She shook her head, biting her lower lip in an attempt to contain her emotions,
though choked on a sob nonetheless, “I’m so sorry…”
Lying beside her, he reached over and turned her face so that she had to look
at him. He then ran his fingers soothingly through her hair.
“Why are you sorry?”
She blinked fresh tears from her eyes, sobbing her unspoken grief from what
seemed to be deep within her soul, “Because I couldn’t save it…! I couldn’t
protect the baby.”
Severus forced the breath that he had been holding from his lungs and
immediately felt his chest ache. For the moment words escaped him, his own
emotions threatening to loosen themselves with the unbridled guilt he felt at
seeing the pain that Lily was in.
“I know you’re disappointed…” she cried softly.
“No,” he interrupted her, his answer coming quickly, his own voice filled with
an emotion that he had scarcely ever heard before, “I’m not angry… Not upset…”
he trailed off, coughing slightly in an attempt to regain some composure; he
whispered almost too quietly to hear, “Not the baby…”
He could not find the words to explain the flashbacks to his childhood that her
suffering had brought, though he suspected she might comprehend his inner
pains. She knew about the terrible truth of his youth and the history he held
with his abusive father. Looking into her eyes, he saw that she seemed to
understand.
Blinking her tears away, Lily moved one hand up and slowly rested her palm upon
his cheek. He closed his eyes, taking her hand in his and gently planting a
tender kiss to that same palm. She then slipped her other hand to the back of
his neck and pulled him to her. He rolled on top of her again, tracing a fresh
trail of kisses from her shoulder up the curve of her neck and jaw. The weight
of him was welcome; he made her feel safe in a world so full of uncertainty.
Eventually Lily’s fingertips began to wander once more, her touches becoming
more heated and full of desire. He was no longer able to hold back his inner
strain, and responded to her caresses by grinding his hips against hers. In
response, she reciprocated his motions, an act that only reignited his burning
passions for her. They made love slowly, each chasing the other’s demons and
fears away. Every touch was met with another, every sigh answered with a moan.
Their lips kissed away any remaining inhibitions, their breath merging and
resonating in a mutual calm. They were as close to one another as humanly
possible, her legs wrapped tightly around his body, his hands cradling her neck
and back. It was in those quiet moments they re-learned one another,
rediscovering the connection that could never be broken or completely lost- No
matter the trials and tribulations they might be faced with. They had lived
through so much in their years spent together, both before and after their time
spent apart. But through their moment of intimacy, or understanding and lack of
secrets, both knew one thing for certain: They would never be parted again.
Chapter End Notes
     A few things...
     1. The Dumbledore family's cottage by the sea is something I pictured
     to be very similar to the Shell Shack that Bill and Fleur Weasley
     reside in. So, that was my inspiration. :)
     2. Only fictional man I love close to equal of Severus Snape is
     probably Remus Lupin. Such a good guy.
     3. I love the transformations that Lily and Sev go through in this
     chapter as they re-learn how to love both themselves and each other.
     Also-
     OVER 3000 HITS!!!
     Guys, thank you so much. The comments and kudos brighten my day and
     let me know that you really enjoy what I'm writing. There is so much
     more still to tell in this story, and I am so grateful for all of you
     that are still in for the ride with me until the very end. I've been
     working on this story in part since 2008 and it's great to finally be
     putting it up for people to see.
     Song for this round... One of my favorites, and yes, I listen to it
     super early in the morning sometimes on my way to work and belt it
     out at the top of my lungs.
     (I'm not ashamed, I love the 80's, and it's that good)
     I_Remember_You_-_Skid_Row
***** The Werewolf *****
Chapter Summary
     Remus reacts to learning of possibly not just one friend's
     betrayal... But another.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
“There is love in me the likes of which you’ve never seen. There is rage in me
  the likes of which should never escape. If I am not satisfied in the one, I
                           will indulge the other.”
                         -Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley
                                    [wolf]
Earlier that evening…
Lily had Aparated to the cottage by the sea from the balcony high upon the
Astronomy Tower. She had been both emotionally and mentally exhausted from the
rehashing of terrible memories that still threatened to cripple her from time
to time. Severus greatly admired her strength to carry on- Even with how
useless he knew he had been to her since that fateful night. But part of him
knew that he had also not imagined the budding affection that had to begun to
develop between them once more…. Hell, they could cut the sexual tension with a
knife if they had wanted to; neither willing enough to be the first to make a
move. He would wait as long as she needed, knowing that he would be satisfied
if meant only being with her until the end of his days, regardless of a return
in the intimacy that they had once shared. As he neared the meeting room on one
of the lower levels of the tower, he paused at overhearing the voices within.
“How do you think I fucking feel?!” Remus Lupin was shouting, “Not just one
friend… Not just that daft idiot!”
“Remus, please…” Minerva McGonagall had protested.
“Or what?!” he fired back, lips curled back over his teeth in a snarl, “I’m
bloody sorry, but none of you could possibly understand how I’m feeling! All of
my life, people have recoiled from me in both disgust and fear when they learn
of what I really am… Of what that fucking sadist did to me- What that monster
made of a mere child.”
There was a sigh from Minerva at his words. Not one of pity, but one of
helplessness. Severus crept closer to the room, remaining out of sight.
“Above all others, I was terrified when it came time to attend Hogwarts,” Remus
continued quietly, “Not just out of fear of maiming or unintentionally killing
someone… That was such a small factor. No, I was frightened about potentially
making friends and then finding myself rejected- A silly thing for most
children, though for me an entirely different matter. I had never had friends
for long- Certainly not after their parents came to understand that I was
cursed beyond normal magic’s healing. For the first time I was faced with the
prospect of making friends, though the remaining threat of being ostracized
when they inevitably discovered the incurable sickness that poisoned the very
blood in my veins.” He paused, “We became Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs…
I could tell them anything and know that they would not betray me or act in
such a despicable manner. Clearly I was wrong about that too.”
“Yes, you certainly were,” Severus interrupted, no longer able to hold his
tongue, “Your little band of friends has long been capable of abuse towards
anyone not keeping with ‘Marauder’ ideals…”
Remus clenched his fingers into a fist, clearly surprised by Severus’
unexpected entrance. For a long moment they just stood in silence staring at
one another. On one side of the room, the sandy haired former Prefect,
surrounded by much the same bias Gryffindor faculty members that seemed to
always back and protect the infamous quartet during their years at Hogwarts
School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. On the other side stood the long
underestimated Slytherin, his shoulder-length black hair and narrowed dark eyes
a sharp contrast to the Werewolf before him. They were the same age, both of
differing backgrounds, though circumstances that remarkably resembled the other
in similarities- Requiring a need for friendship and understanding. One had
managed to find it, even if it had meant the painful truth that he was now
forced into hearing.
“You’re right,” Remus managed at last, eyes softening, “Even so, I never
thought either of them capable of something quite like this… I mean, Peter’s
always been a weak little shit, but James?” he shook his head sadly, “Damn it…
I’m not sure how Sirius will take it.”
Though he said nothing, the question was plain upon Severus’ face at the words
spoken. Remus opened his mouth to continue, but Dumbledore cleared his throat
pointedly instead. Stepping forward he motioned that Severus join them and take
a seat. He didn’t move an inch, his feet firmly planted to the stone, eyes full
of distrust.
“I had thought the information something of common knowledge between you and
Lily,” Dumbledore managed, “I apologize for my ignorance…”
Severus struggled to contain his building rage and spoke through gritted teeth
as he managed his question, “Out with it, then…! I suppose we should remedy my
lack of understanding.”
“Bellatrix Lestrange mentioned a very troubling bit of knowledge that we had
not been aware of until Lily spoke of it to me from your hiding spot within the
Forest of Dean,” Dumbledore began, “Though we have not yet looked into the
information gathered, we all fear it an important- Rather, immediate situation
which must be addressed.”
Severus looked as though it was taking all of his strength to remain calm and
collected, clearly no further satisfied by his former Headmaster’s preliminary
explanation.
What hadn’t Lily told him?
“You both learned of Peter Pettigrew’s betrayal of the Order upon the same
night, albeit in different ways,” he continued, a grimness coming over his
usual emotionless features, “It seems that James Potter may too share in the
blame when it comes to the ensuing events… Though to what capacity we do not
yet know.”
“What did Bellatrix say to her?” he questioned, his own voice low and almost a
whisper, though chilling in its tone all the same.
“We are not certain yet if it was merely callousness upon her part, or in the
unlikely possibility, the truth.”
“What. Did. She. Say?” Severus repeated, clearly a moment away from exploding.
“Enough with protecting him!” Remus growled, eyes flashing to the aged
Headmaster, “James needs to answer for the questions we have! Damn him… Damn
all of this.”
With a sigh, Dumbledore added the information that Lily had yet to tell
Severus, the frightening last piece of her story from that terrible night,
“Bellatrix mentioned that James Potter had requested that they keep her alive-
“
“But kill the child she was carrying,” Remus completed, interrupting the aged
wizard between them, his eyes both angry and sad at the same time.
How had James known about the babe?
Almost as soon as the question entered his mind, Severus realized how little it
mattered in actuality. Had they been too reckless in their loving? Had all the
blame been deserving of them for the course of events that had ended up taking
place? Lily had not wanted to cohabitate with James after all that had
transpired between them. Both of them had repeatedly voiced their concerns to
Dumbledore about his decision surrounding the arrangement, not to mention
James’ continuing hope for reconciliation with Lily, and how he would
inevitably react when learning about her relationship with Severus.
“We had warned you that something like this might happen,” Severus told him
darkly, his ability to restrain his emotions cracking by the second, “She never
should have been forced to stay in that house; remaining under a false pretense
with her life in danger because it was not yet the right time for you to reveal
my undercover spying for your fucking Order!”
A silence descended upon them in the room, nobody willing themselves to speak
first- Knowing that nothing could ever change the horrible truth that was the
night of All Hallow’s Eve, or the current circumstances that they were faced
with.
“You’re right,” Albus Dumbledore told him, his answer quiet, though undeniably
sincere.
“Now what?!” Severus spat.
“We act,” Remus told him, stepping forward.
“Indeed,” Minerva nodded.
“Lily’s confessing is a troubling one,” Kingsley stated, “We would be fools to
not follow through with an investigation into the reasoning of any acting
member of the Order who might be connected in something so foul in nature. It’s
inexcusable. We all must have our answers.”
Remus came face-to-face with Severus, allowing Albus Dumbledore his quiet
retreat, “I do not claim to understand the magnitude of pain or anger that
either you, or Lily must feel. I do not claim that learning of your changes in
allegiance have allowed for you any reason to better trust us… Nor would I be
lying if I stated that I trust you fully given the treachery that seems to be
afoot.” He paused, “More than anything though, I realize that there is nothing
that I can ever say to you which will ever prove enough for the reproachable
history that we Marauders have shared with you. I don’t claim to speak for
them, nor do I have any understanding of the inner workings of their minds.
However, I can promise you that nether myself or Sirius had any knowledge of
these events; I vow to find the reasoning behind them if it’s the last thing I
do.”
“Remus has expressed his intention to confront and bring in James Potter,”
Kingsley added, “Pettigrew has long since vanished, though Potter remains in
hiding under Order protection, much like the rest of us.”
“It would seem that he doesn’t know of the accusations that have been leveled
against him,” Minerva interjected, “Certainly it would seem that he has no ties
to the Dark Lord- Why else remain?”
“He’s an arrogant prat,” Severus spat.
“Always has been,” Remus nodded, the corners of his mouth twitching with the
hint of a smile, “I know his whereabouts; I won’t rest until I get answers.”
“If he is responsible, as Bellatrix made it seem,” Severus began, tone even,
his posture serious, “I will kill him.”
The room fell silent at his words, all eyes eventually coming to rest upon the
aged Headmaster who had retreated close to the fire, a short way apart from the
rest. For a long while he stared into the dancing flames- Red, orange, and
yellow. When he finally spoke, his voice was a whisper, his blue eyes coming to
rest upon the grown Slytherin in a room of former Gryffindor Lions.
“If he is to blame, I would readily do it myself.”
Chapter End Notes
     We can't claim that they're friends, but there is certainly a mutual
     understanding that has come between Remus and Sev. While they will
     always have their differences, one must agree on their mutual
     affection for Lily. The real question is: How will Sirius Black
     react?
     Song is from one of my most favorite movies, extremely haunting and
     beautiful. Pan's Labryinth.
     Pan's_Labryinth_Lullaby_-_Javier_Navarrette
***** Marauders: Part I *****
Chapter Summary
     Remus Lupin must figure out what went wrong when it came to the
     friends he long considered family, as well as the heinous crimes
     attributed to those same individuals.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
  “The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is
                         prepared to die at any time.”
                                  -Mark Twain
                                   [glasses]

January_of_1981

Remus Lupin walked alone through the rainy streets of London. It was dreadfully
dreary and grey- An atmosphere oddly in sync with his melancholy mood. In the
last month his world had been flipped upside down through an endless array of
sorrowful news and unexpected surprises. While Frank and Alice Longbottom
remained very much deceased, their son an orphan, Lily had seemingly been
resurrected from the dead. Though seeing her again, holding her in the flesh,
had been a moment of utmost shock and relief, a terrible truth remained. In the
place of mourning he had once felt within his heart at the news of Lily’s
untimely murder, he now felt the sting of betrayal and overwhelming deception.
When Albus Dumbledore had summoned him for a meeting at Hogwarts, he had not
known the purpose. For over a year he had been actively observing the various
werewolf communities throughout Great Britain, so it was only a logical
assumption of his to predict the aged wizard sought a report on his progress.
He had been surprised upon finding both Kingsley Shacklebolt and Minerva
McGonagall in attendance, as well as the news that they were still awaiting the
arrival of two others. Curiosity left him wondering who the remaining two
arrivals would be- Perhaps Sirius Black and James Potter? It would be good to
see them again since the terrible series of events had occurred in Godric’s
Hollow. James had been out with them when the Death Eaters had attacked the
cottage- Peter Pettigrew, their fourth, and James’ Secret Keeper, having
deceived them all.
Remus had excused himself early from their tavern-hop, planning on a thorough
night’s rest before resuming his work for the Order of the Phoenix in the
morning. He had almost reached the door of his flat when he had been alerted to
trouble. While the Death Eaters might share in their frightening tattoos from
Voldemort as a means of communicating with each other, Dumbledore had arranged
for a far less obvious means of connecting to his trusted allies. Members of
the Order had their wands enchanted upon entering the innermost circle- Not in
a way that stripped the user of control, or proved a dangerous tracking device.
In fact, nothing that was a hindrance in any traditional sense. Whenever there
had been an emergency, or something requiring immediate concern, the tip of
one’s wand would glow crimson red. It was rare, though when it happened, they
were to meet at once within the Hog’s Head. There they would be briefed on what
exactly had occurred, before proceeding as expected or necessary. The rest had
been history.
In the aftermath of their horrific discovery of the cottage, Sirius Black and
James Potter had arrived. The reaction that had come over James had been
nothing short of paralyzing in nature. He had attempted to race past them all
into the still smoldering ruins of his home, only to have been caught by the
arms and restrained by both Sirius and Remus. The scream that had come from him
was something far more animalistic than human, a supposed mixture of fury and
despair.
“There were no survivors,” Dumbledore had told him, voice soft and apologetic
in tone.
“Mate, I’m so- “ Sirius had tried.
“DON’T TELL ME YOU’RE SORRY!” James had roared, struggling against the tight
grip that his childhood friends held upon him, “Let go of me, you bastards!”
“There’s nothing left, James!” the words had felt cruel when he spoke them, but
Remus had always seemed the logical and calculated one of their group, and
James was bound to listen to him above all else.
“She can’t be…”
“She’s dead, mate…” Sirius had echoed, grip loosening slightly, “Lily’s gone.”
“Get him out of here,” Dumbledore had ordered, scarcely looking at any of them,
“We haven’t much time before others arrive.”
Time.
Perhaps it had been James’ plan all along to run down the clock… To waste as
much of their valuable time as he could manage, assuming it meant a means of
covering his own tracks; saving his own rotten neck. Had he really thought the
Death Eaters capable of sparing the life of one Muggle-born? Had he truly been
willing to sacrifice the life of dear friends, and an innocent unborn child?
All to keep Lily alive? More so, how did he figure any part of his evil scheme
could possibly convince Lily into returning to him?
After he had murdered the babe within her womb.
The hardest thing for Remus was his attempt at keeping a clear and level-head.
It was difficult not to pass an immediate guilty verdict on one of his oldest
friends- Especially given the evidence. He knew that he would be lying if he
called James anything other than a ‘jealous man,’ especially in regards to
Lily. He had seen the levels of depravity and torment capable of his friend
during their years at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry- Mostly
surrounding the bond between his now ex-wife and Severus Snape.
Snape.
Had James somehow deduced Lily’s renewed relationship with the former rival
from so many years ago? If so, Remus was beginning to understand the darkness
and gravity of the situation even more. He felt revolted, dirty, and sick. Just
as the queasiness and unbearable scenarios nearly overwhelmed him, Remus found
himself stumble out of an alley and upon the precise address that he had been
heading towards:
12 Grimmauld Place.
Chapter End Notes
     These next few chapters will vary some, though will tend be quite
     short in length- Something that was somewhat intended.
     Right now it just makes sense for me to break them up, though I may
     change it down the road and combine them at some point. But for now
     I'm going to just rock it. :P
     Thank you all for still reading and commenting, I can't express
     enough how much it means to me and helps fuel my creative-juices.
     Haha.
     Song:
     Mad_World_-_Gary_Jules
***** Marauders: Part II *****
Chapter Summary
     Moony and Padfoot have a hard conversation.
Chapter Notes
     I promised rapid updates, so that's what y'all are getting.
     Yes, that means two in one day.
     The big moment is still coming... I promise. :)
See the end of the chapter for more notes
“The mystery of human existence lies not in just staying alive, but in finding
                            something to live for.”
                              -Fyodor Dostoyevsky
                                   [ashtray]
Knocking upon the front door of the ancestral home of the Black family was not
something that Remus Lupin often found himself doing. Never in his youth had he
ever visited his fellow member of the Marauders at his home. Coming from very
old wizarding blood, and boasting one of the longest uninterrupted Pure-blood
lineages within the United Kingdom, the Blacks were a well-known family in the
magical world. Unlike other offspring born to the elite privilege of the Sacred
Twenty-Eight, Sirius Black had not conformed to the usual expectations that
other Pure-bloods of his status considered a birth-right. One such example had
been something almost entirely out of his control- His being sorted into
Gryffindor House at Hogwarts.
For generations- Or at least as long as anyone living could recall, everyone
born into the house of Black had forever been sorted into just one of Hogwarts
famous Houses; the most respected in their opinion, Slytherin. Thus, it came as
quite a shock when the firstborn son of Orion and Walburga Black, the heir to
his great family’s fortune and fame, was placed with the courageous students
long coveted by founder Godric Gryffindor. They had not been amused, and though
Sirius had continued to live at home for much of his formative years, he became
more and more disenchanted as time had worn on. Remus could still remember the
smug look and laughter that Padfoot had been unable to contain upon returning
to Hogwarts after their usual Holiday break.
“What are you so happy about?” James had questioned, “I don’t think I’ve ever
seen you happy to be back at your studies.”
“Left a surprise for my Mum and Dad before I left,” he chuckled, winking at one
of Lily’s friends as she walked past.
Always the flirt.
“Do tell!” Peter had pried, nearly salivating in excitement.
“I used a Permanent Charm on some Muggle goods I acquired in London over the
break,” he grinned, “I’m certain Mum will positively shite herself when she
sees my handiwork.”
“Do you think that’s a really good idea?” Remus had questioned, always the
practical one.
He snorted, “Hardly matters now, it’s already done!”
“What were they of?” James asked, elbowing his best mate in the ribs playfully.
“Some were just Gryffindor banners and the like,” he began with a shrug, “The
better additions were a few of Muggle transport- Motorbikes and the like, and
then some of Muggle women.”
“She’ll have a fit!” James agreed, laughing with an approving nod.
“Especially when she sees what the broads are wearing,” Sirius winked, “Or how
little, I should say…”
Peter had stared with his mouth partially agape, clearly not understanding the
most recent jape.
“Some are topless, mate,” Sirius explained, reaching for Remus and groping his
chest crudely, “Got their tits out and the tiniest panties you’ve ever seen!”
Remus had shoved him off, unable to conceal his amusement at the mockery of his
good friend’s psychotic mother.
Walburga Black had made it her mission in life to preach the necessity of Pure-
blood ideals, and turn her nose up in disgust at anyone else. Theirs was a
bloodline that demanded respect, and she would be damned if anyone tainted the
generations of purity that they had made a point of preserving. The antics of
her eldest child had been nothing short of rebellious and revolting to her
passionate views. His homecoming after being sorted into Gryffindor had brought
about restrictions within their home that made 12 Grimmauld Place not unlike a
prison in its vices. She had written countless letters to both Albus Dumbledore
and the Governors that oversaw the running of Hogwarts as a respected learning
institution. Each one detailed her opinion that there had been some mistake
when it came to Sirius having been sorted outside of Slytherin House. All of
his family members, his cousins in current attendance included, had all been in
the House of Salazar Slytherin. All of them had understood the importance of
resourcefulness and ambition, the cunning nature necessary when protecting
their ancient blood from the lesser magical families. By allowing Sirius to
remain in Gryffindor, she was terrified that he might turn into a Blood-
Traitor, and that was something unacceptable for the heir of such a noble
house.
However, her efforts had been fruitless, and Sirius remained in Gryffindor,
much to the disdain of both his mother and father. His younger brother, Regulus
Black, had managed in procuring all of the expectations of their supremacist
parents, thus allowing Sirius more freedom. It was no secret that he had let
them down, become something of a disappointment, though he could hardly say
that it bothered him much. It was by their sixth year that Sirius had ran away
from the place of his upbringing and mostly unhappy youth, instead moving into
the home that James shared with his parents. It had been there, that Remus
could remember visiting the two of them a handful of occasions throughout their
youth, and some in the later years, prior to James’ marriage to Lily. Fleamont
and Euphemia had been understanding and generous people- Far older than most of
their peers’ parents, though nothing like the Black family. It had only been at
that point when Remus truly saw a change occur in his friend. Perhaps stability
and care had the positive effect that many might take for granted- But Sirius
finally seemed to grow up a bit and actually attempt to care about his studies
and future.
James and Sirius had always been closer than the rest of them- Like brothers.
Guilt was an unmistakable emotion, when Remus considered the dark and
devastating news that he needed to tell Sirius. How would he phrase it? And
more importantly, how would Padfoot take it? They didn’t know anything for
certain yet, and James deserved his chance at an explanation… They owed him
that much for the friendship they had shared throughout the years.
Prior to his parents’ deaths, Sirius had inherited a large sum of money from
his Uncle Alphard, enough to sustain him comfortably for the majority of his
adult life. It had been the final straw for Walburga, and in her own rage at
the consideration of her brother, she had gone into quite the state. She had
disinherited her eldest son long before this recent transgression, making
certain that everything would be left to Regulus instead. Unfortunately, with
the untimely disappearance, and presumed death of the youngest heir of Black,
her scheming ended up in vain. She had died bitter and full of hate- Screaming
her rantings of Pure-blood ideals until she finally drew her last breath. It
had been then that Sirius had finally returned home to 12 Grimmauld Place,
though it had hardly ever been considered much of a ‘home’ to him in feel.
Remus’ wandering thoughts retreated with the long high-pitched squeak of the
front door upon its hinges. Looking down, he had found himself greeted by the
withered and heavily wrinkled face of an elderly House Elf- One seemingly older
than even Albus Dumbledore by a good hundred years. It spoke not a word in
greeting to the sandy-haired man, though turned and began leading the way into
the bowels of the house with a familiar tread. The door shut magically behind
Remus, a little hard in its force, and he blinked rapidly so that his eyes
might adjust to the dimness of the interior. The House Elf lingered at the end
of the hallway, its feet bare, shifting slightly from side-to-side in
impatience. Clearing his throat uncomfortably, Remus lengthened his stride and
caught up quickly.
“Mistress Walburga would roll over in her grave, she would…” the House Elf
murmured under its breath as it continued in leading the unexpected visitor,
“Muggles, Blood-traitors, and now mongrel filth in her house- She’d expect no
less from that disappointment of a son… No less! Broke Mistress’ heart he did.”
Just as Remus was fighting the growing desire to punt the House Elf across the
room, they seemingly reached their destination- A small sitting room in the
back corner of the house. Sirius was very much alone, his usual handsome self,
dressed in black pants and equally dark shirt, with a billowing robe of blood
red and black crushed velvet with gold embroidery. His dark hair was pulled
back into a loose ponytail, and he smiled at the unexpected appearance of an
old friend.
“Master’s despicable guest- “
“Leave us, Kreacher.”
He didn’t have to ask twice, with a ‘pop’ the wrinkled and ancient being
vanished from sight, leaving the two men very much alone.
“Moony, I hadn’t expected you…” Sirius continued, taking a step closer and
shaking his friend’s hand approvingly, “Apologies about my lack of finesse, and
that deplorable House Elf… I’d dismiss him if I could be assured of his
loyalty. Unfortunately, you can see my predicament.”
He shrugged, “Seems to take after you Mum.”
“Yes,” Sirius agreed with a grimness, “Same frightening ideology that
everything and everyone not born within the Sacred Twenty-Eight deserves to be
abandoned on a hillside and left to the elements. Come, have a seat.”
The two men retired to two plush chairs framed by a heartily crackling fire,
warming themselves in a comfortable silence.
“If I have interrupted you, I apologize.”
“Not at all, Moony.”
“Have you seen Prongs recently?”
Furrowing his brow, “Why do you ask?”
“It’s been some time now since the night of All Hallow’s Eve,” Remus began
carefully, staring into the licking flames of the fire between them, “I haven’t
seen much of either of you…”
Sirius straightened in his armchair, licking his lips in thought, “Yes, well…
It’s been quite eye-opening for all of us, I’m afraid.” He sighed, clearly lost
in some thought or memory, “I don’t think any of us quite expected something so
damned terrible to happen. Wormtail’s betrayal has shaken Prongs… Unlike
anything I’ve ever witnessed before. I think it succeeded in frightening all of
us- Or at least planting a rage that calls for retribution.”
“He was always a follower.”
“A bloody idiot, that’s for certain,” he grumbled, shaking his head sadly a
moment later, “I just can’t understand why Prongs picked him to keep them safe
over you or I.”
Because he was a Death Eater?
Remus shook the sudden thought from his mind, trying to stay on track with
everything that had happened. Attempting to keep a calmness present and hold
his inner wolf at bay.
“He’s been staying here since everything happened,” Sirius continued, “Went out
for a stroll today, haven’t seen him for a few hours, though I’m sure he’ll be
back soon; been through a lot. I can’t blame him for his grief and anger… I can
only imagine how something like that must feel. And you know as well as I do,
how much James loved Lily.”
“Enough to do anything for her,” Remus heard himself say, “To kill anyone that
might somehow prove and obstacle, or step in his way.”
Sirius cocked his head to one side, eyebrows knitted together in confusion,
“What?”
“There have been some developments…”
“Moony, you always were arguably the smartest of the Marauders,” he began, “But
what exactly are you playing at? We all were there! All of us except that
fucking rat… You saw as well as I did what happened.”
Remus interlaced his fingers, trying to formulate the best means to continue,
“Yes, but there’s something rather unexpected that’s proven an important
development.”
Throwing his hands up, Sirius couldn’t help but also roll his eyes.
“Did you know that James and Lily were divorced?”
“I had felt something like that might be the case, though it was never
explicitly mentioned,” he said at once, recalling the fateful day that he had
attempted to pull James from his sorrow, “You know how he is… And he’s always
cared for her more than anything or anyone else in the bloody universe. I
suppose that’s why he’s taken all of this so hard- Knowing he’ll never get a
second chance to right things with her.”
“She’s alive.”
One could have heard a pin drop from the silence that suddenly filled the
space. Though he had attempted to retain an emotionless façade when hearing
such startling news, Sirius Black had found himself rising to his feet, eyes
widening as he stared at his longtime friend.
“Lily lived through her encounter in Godric’s Hollow, though she did not emerge
completely unscathed from her ordeal. In all reality, it was a miracle that she
survived.”
“Are you certain?” his question came out as a whisper.
Nodding, “I have seen her myself.”
He ran his fingers through his hair, momentarily lost in thought, uncertain of
how to proceed with such unexpected information, “How?”
“I warn you, Padfoot, this will not be easy for you to hear.”
The seriousness of Remus’ tone had the already shocked man dreading what was to
follow. He paced the room a few times, clenching his jaw and biting his lower
lip in thought. When he had at last thought himself the most prepared and ready
to hear what it was that needed to be said- How Lily had somehow emerged alive
from the wreckage that had seemed impossible to survive from an ordeal that had
ended with four Death Eaters and two members of the Order dead.
“Severus Snape saved her.”
“What?!”
“He fought off the Death Eaters and saved her.”
Lighting a cigarette, “A Death Eater killing Death Eaters? Come on, Remus…”
“She’s with him now,” he pressed, “Mate, they’re together. They have been for a
long time.”
Sirius closed his eyes and pressed his fingers into his forehead with a hard
pressure, “James will just love hearing about Lily and Snivellus…”
“Set aside your memories for one second, and hear me out,” Remus growled, “I’m
serious, Padfoot! Dumbledore has sent me here to speak with you on the matter,
and you need to hear what I have to say. Lily and Severus have been together
for over a year… During that time, Severus defected from the Dark Lord’s
numbers, and has been passing information to us within the Order. He’s the
mole! The source of the details and plans that we’ve been receiving! It
explains everything! And Lily has concealed it from everyone this entire time.
Frank and Alice knew the truth, as well as Dumbledore, but it was intended to
remain a secret until the right moment had arisen to reveal Severus’ identity.”
“Great,” he muttered, “And I'm the one who tried to get him killed all those
years ago when I sent him after you and beneath that fucking tree.”
“Regardless of your like or dislike for one another, he deserves credit for his
labors,” Remus responded, “I have spoken with him, I have seen the changes
within him firsthand. And you can bet that Lily wouldn’t have sought him out,
wanted to spend her life with someone that she felt had remained faithful to
all that You-Know-Who preaches.”
“Or was it to just get back at Prongs?”
Remus frowned, “I think you owe Lily far more credit than that. And keep in
mind that the two of them had grown up together; their friendship has always
had deep roots, and to withdraw them completely would almost be like a fish
breathing out of water.” He paused, “There’s something incredibly powerful in
their love and respect for one another, which I have witnessed first-hand. They
have been through so much together, and yet all they want is for a chance at
life and happiness together when all of this madness is done.”
“What about Prongs?”
“Lily survived torture at the hands of some of the most depraved individuals
aligned with the Dark Lord. They murdered Frank in front of her and Alice, and
then tried all they could to learn as many secrets as possible- None of them
revealed, especially not the location of Neville Longbottom. Bellatrix
Lestrange knews no bounds when it came to her evil.”
“She was my cousin,” Sirius spat, “Don’t you think I know that?! James would
never do anything the likes of which she has! There’s no bitch alive or dead as
much a cunt as that monster!”
“And yet she told Lily that it had been James’ idea to keep her alive-
Something Wormtail had been precise about in his deception of the location of
their cottage,” Remus stood and went to his friend, a hand firmly placed upon
the other man’s shoulder, “James wanted Lily alive, but at a price.”
“What fucking price?!”
“Lily was pregnant.”
The words brought about a softness in Sirius Black’s eyes, and an understanding
that was bitter; nearly impossible to swallow.
“Padfoot, he knew. And he wanted Lily back…”
“So my cousin acted on the information,” he surmised, shaking his head and
outing his cigarette with more force than necessary in the nearly overflowing
ashtray, “He did it all for himself- FOR HIS STUPID FUCKING SELF!”
Remus backed away, eyes falling to his feet, “It would seem that way.”
No more words were spoken between them, and Remus continued to stand very still
while Sirius Black proceeded to vent his anger- His rage at the news which had
been brought to him.
Betrayal. His best friend.
And for what end? A woman? Was it worth it?
Sirius was consumed by his emotions, a numbness slowly rolling over him as he
threw and shattered priceless heirlooms long held in esteem that belonged to
his family. Damn it all, in the end it would be worthless rubbish just like
everything else. As much as he wished that Remus would leave and allow him his
grief, his bitter rage at the deceptions which had plagued them both, he was
also thankful for the quiet and oddly calming presence. They had to do
something, they had to find the answers to the questions that were echoing
painfully within the confines of their minds. James had not run like Peter, and
both knew that he would likely be back by nightfall.
Chapter End Notes
     In the canon, Sirius Black's mother, Walburga, died in 1985...
     Obviously I have taken liberties with that date for the purpose of
     having 12 Grimmauld Place used in this story.
     I changed my mind about the song that I originally posted, and have
     updated it to a different one, though by the same band.
     I feel as though this one better fits with the stresses and anguish
     that Remus and Sirius might feel.
     Song:
     Soldier_Side_-_System_of_a_Down
***** Marauders: Part III *****
Chapter Summary
     The once leader of the infamous 'Marauders' tells his tale.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
                           “Shut your eyes and see.”
                                 -James Joyce
                                   [memory]
James Potter had not been a planned child. All throughout his youth, he had
always been the one with the oldest parents- Parents arguably of a similar age
to his peers’ grandparents. They had long suspected themselves incapable of
bearing children, a fact attributed with two early miscarriages and a tragic
stillbirth. Their only surviving child’s conception had been nothing short of
shocking, at a time no less than twenty years past their final true attempt.
Pure-bloods themselves, Fleamont and Euphemia Potter had doted upon their only
child, allowing him every luxury and wish. Little James had been undeniably
spoiled and cherished- He could do no wrong in the eyes of his parents. Even
after he had begun his magical education at Hogwarts, the Potter’s couldn’t
stop their pride for their son. The full extent of his mischief over those
formidable years, as well as his strong friendship with three other Gryffindor
boys, was something neither adult would ever know all the details surrounding.
All they had ever surmised was that their son was popular amongst his peers,
gifted at Quidditch, and intelligent enough to receive adequate marks in his
classes of interest. They had never much spoke about the bequeathed Cloak of
Invisibility- A family heirloom long cherished through countless generations on
the paternal side of the family. Whatever disruptions associated with its use,
no doubt attributed to the common belief of ‘boys being boys.’
James had befriended Sirius Black first. Something in the charismatic rebel had
intrigued him from the start, and they had become fast friends. Compared to
Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew, the two of them had forged something akin to a
brotherhood- Their friendship always a touch stronger and more intricately
laced than the others. Yet they all held their individual strengths when it
came to forming the gang that came to be known as the ‘Marauders.’ Wormtail had
always brought a certain element of comic relief, where Moony was often the
voice of mature adult reasoning- Being a Prefect had brought him a certain air
of necessary seriousness when it had come to their gallivanting about the
castle and sprawling grounds in their later years at the magical institution.
But Prongs and Padfoot had always retained a certain element of childish
immaturity when it came to their cockiness and popularity.
From the very first day upon the Hogwarts Express, James had come face-to-face
with the most beautiful girl he had ever seen- Lily Evans. Even from this
immature age, still clinging to the childish thoughts that girls were nothing
worth his time, obsessed with dolls and pastel colors, frilly dresses, and
something he would never understand- He had been intrigued. From her shockingly
auburn hair that fell to her waist in gentle curls, to her almond-shaped
emerald green eyes, and the light dusting of freckles on her shapely nose… He
had not known it, or understood it immediately, but she had been beautiful.
Even when she had stormed out of the compartment with that slimy friend of
hers, he had felt an odd pang of something remotely resembling sorrow at seeing
her go.
He had been given another chance when she had been sorted into Gryffindor
House. Initially he had given her space- She was a girl after all, and not the
usual thing he was accustomed to worrying about. What had annoyed him though,
was the way she seemed determined to avoid him, and how despite unspoken
protocol, she seemed intent on remaining friends with that Slytherin freak she
had associated with upon the train.
“It’s just odd,” he had told Sirius one afternoon, shaking his head.
“What do you mean?”
“That,” he had said pointedly, motioning towards Lily and Severus studying in
quiet contentment.
“Fancy the Muggle-born, do you?”
He had scoffed, “Hardly. But not because of that- Just, it’s freakish a
Gryffindor spending time with a Slytherin… It goes against House ideals! We’re
supposed to be rivals, aren’t we?”
Sirius shrugged, “What if I had been in Slytherin?”
“That’s different,” James had said quickly, “And you’re not; that’s the more
important point… But he is, and she isn’t.”
Though he would never be able to recollect the precise moment he had known he
fancied her, it wasn’t long after that fateful conversation with his best
friend, that James had set forth on a path of tearing the pair apart. It was
unnatural, of that he was certain. Besides that, he couldn’t understand why the
pretty redhead didn’t want to sit and study with him like she did with
Snivellus- Such a fitting nickname to truly convey how filthy her Slytherin
companion truly was. It had begun small at first, little shoulder-checks and
accidental tripping or jinxes between classes, though had grown into something
of a well-known feud over their seven years of shared education. Fortunately
for James, he was the popular one, with agreeable looks and charm- He had even
taken to wearing his hair in something reminiscent of the windswept aftermath
that was a common occurrence from Quidditch practices or matches. Still, Lily
had turned from him.
“She’ll come around, mate.”
“Padfoot, I’m not sure what more I can do to convince her,” he had admitted
late one evening with a sigh.
“What if I take care of Snivellus?”
“How do you figure you’ll manage that feat?”
“It’s not like brains are everything,” he chuckled, “I have an idea of
something that might peak his interest.”
“He’ll never buy it coming from you.”
“We’ll see,” Sirius winked, “I have a reputation for being very charming,
though I must admit that it usually is best when worked upon the ladies…”
“She hates me…”
“Come on, mate!” he had exclaimed, “Evans will come around… You’re everything
Snivellus isn’t, and that’s enough for most. You’ve got the looks, you’re
bloody hilarious, and you care for her… Tell her! Grow some bollocks and tell
her!”
“She’d just reject me.”
“Then let me take care of the slime ball…!”
“I fucking hate him…”
“Perfect,” Sirius nodded, “Consider it done; you’ll be losing your virginity by
the end of the year.”
James had rolled his eyes, “Yeah, right.”
If he had known that Sirius had intended to lure the Slytherin past the secret
entrance beneath the Whomping Willow, he would have stopped his best friend at
that very moment. Though Sirius’ intentions had certainly been in his best
interests, James could have done without the beating from the damned tree, as
well as the confrontation that had occurred in the earthen tunnel that led to
the Shrieking Shack and the already transformed Remus Lupin concealed within.
It had been more the desire to protect Sirius from expulsion, as well as more
stigma associated with werewolves which had led to James racing to Severus’
aid. He cared not a lick if Remus had mauled him to death, or bitten him. It
had been to save his own neck by association, and those of his closest friends
as well. In the end Sirius, Severus, and himself had earned months of detention
as punishment for their admitted stupidity- And the Slytherin had been sworn to
necessary silence in regards to Moony’s condition. It had not helped his
standing with Lily in the slightest, though none of them had spoken about the
events of that fateful night as a matter of principle.
At a certain point, he had admittedly reached a point of desperation, caring
not about how he might look in his attempt to gain the affections of the girl
who had haunted his dreams. He wanted her- Longed to hold her, kiss her,
whisper secrets in the shell of her ear, and hear her laughter. He wanted to be
the reason for her happiness, and why she smiled. His urges were carnal as
well, and he ached for her in moments of quiet thought as he would covertly
watch her scribble away in a corner of the Gryffindor Tower late at night.
Unbeknownst to his mates, or the others that often surrounded them, he had come
to memorize her features. The voluminous bounce of her curls, the glitter
within her eyes, the curve of her bosom and slimness of her waist- The way she
had a tendency to bite her lower lip when in thought, and occasionally smudge
the ink from her quill upon her cheek when consumed by her studies. She was
gorgeous, and kind- Soft spoken, though infectious with her laughter and care
for others. In so many ways she was his polar opposite, and yet she had
completely bewitched him beyond his own understanding.
“Why won’t you go out with James?” Remus had asked her on one occasion, after
having been repeatedly badgered by his friend, and guilt-tripped because of his
shared status as Prefect.
“I don’t see how that’s any of your business,” Lily had replied, though not
unkindly.
Lowering his voice, “He begged that I ask you…”
She had sighed, “Because he’s awful! Goodness… He won’t let up! Remus, it’s
become nothing short of bothersome and irritating. It seems as though every
moment I finally have a moment of solace from his advances, he suddenly appears
and then they start all over again. He’s ghastly, appalling, and repulsive-
Especially in how he treats others!”
“He’s not all bad- “
She had laughed, the sound both bitter and full of contempt, “You try having
him follow you all day long and beg you for a date.”
“Maybe you should just let him?”
“Merlin’s beard, don’t tell me you really believe that will help-?! I know he’s
put you up to this.”
“You’re right,” he smiled, “Honestly, I could care less… But why continue
hanging around Snape? You’ve heard the rumors about those bastards he hangs
around, I’m sure.”
“Severus is everything James is not,” Lily had replied, “James will never be
able to understand our friendship, because all he desires is me. Severus knows
my mind, as well as my…”
She had paused, wanting to say ‘heart,’ though knowing that despite her trust
in her fellow Prefect, that he would undoubtedly deliver her exact words of
explanation to the very person she sought to be rid of completely. Besides
that, her relationship with Severus had never developed beyond the bounds of
platonic friendship, not matter how much she had secretly longed for something
more. She wished that she could know his feelings, understand what it was that
he felt for her. And yet, Remus had touched upon one of the very factors that
had recently left her even more in question as to where she stood in her oldest
friend’s life.
“Lily?”
“Hmm…?”
“What else does he know? You trailed off…”
She blushed, eyes falling momentarily to her feet as she attempted to collect
her thoughts, “We’ve been friends since we were nine,” she began, “That’s a
long time… We grew up together, and then we came here together as well. Though
we might not share the same background, or the same House, we have a bond
that’s hard to break. James can’t seem to understand that- Not that Sirius or
Peter help much.”
“Peter’s a blundering fool.”
Lily had stifled a laugh, eyes meeting his once more, “True.”
When Remus had relayed the conversation to James later that same evening, he
had been surprised at the calmness that the head Marauder had demonstrated at
hearing the news. But then again, James was not one to normally vent all of his
innermost contemplations with the Prefect belonging to their little group. No,
he had waited for Sirius- The closest thing to a brother he would ever know.
“What do you think she didn’t tell Moony?”
Sirius had shrugged, “I have no idea, mate.”
“Do you think he’s fucked her? Do you think that disgusting, filthy bastard has
touched her?”
“So what if he has?” Sirius had responded, “It’s none of your business what
they’ve been up to… You can’t admit it would shock you, if that was your go-to
thought. But mate, you need to think about it, think about what you know about
Lily from all of the years we’ve known her. She’s no stranger to any of us, and
I think you owe her more than that. She’s always been protective of Snivellus,
and it’s really no wonder when you actually look at him…”
“I just don’t understand what she sees in him!”
Sirius had clapped a hand gently on his best friend’s back, “Then I suggest we
make a reason for her take better notice of you.”
Despite Sirius’ suggestion, James had only grown further disgusted with Lily’s
longest friend after learning what Remus had shared. His open dislike had
turned into more and more obvious torment from that moment on, their
interactions becoming increasingly heated and violent. Though Sirius had been
adamant that the route to Lily’s heart was through a change in demeanor, he had
been unable to control the antics that his best friends seemed determined in
proceeding with; that also went for participation on his part. If James was
bound to receive detention for his aggressions and cockiness, Sirius was
determined to be at his side every step of the way. All of this had eventually
culminated in the event that would forever change all of their lives- A moment
one summer day, where Severus finally lost both his composure, and Lily, in a
moment of unbridled rage… Until their fateful reunion in late November of 1979.
When he had first held her in his arms and kissed her, James had felt as though
the world had suddenly stopped spinning. Somehow it had seemed that she felt
perfectly within his arms, against his body, her head resting in the crook of
his neck. Lily was everything that he had dreamed she might be, and he had
known that his life would never again be right without her in it. He had
proposed to her shortly after they had completed their education at Hogwarts,
the two of them traveling to share the news with both of their families, before
planning the big day. When she had emerged from the French doors of her
parents’ home on that momentous occasion, James Potter had felt his heart
momentarily stop at the sight of her- His bride. She had been a vision in her
flowing white gown of lace and tulle. When her father had pressed her hand into
his at the altar, James had not been able to retrain himself from the emotions
that he felt, the sting of tears pressing his eyes. She had beamed at him as
though he were the only man on Earth, the only man who would ever matter to her
for the remainder of their lives.
How wrong he had been.
Sirius had tried to tell him that he must win her back after she had long
walked out on him and everything that they had built together- Her words still
echoing painfully in his mind, tormenting him at every turn.
I made myself believe that if I tried hard enough that I could convince myself
that I actually loved you and that being with you was what I wanted. I can’t
pretend anymore.
If that hadn’t been enough, Dumbledore had been equally determined. He had been
thoroughly shocked when his former Headmaster, and the leader of the Order of
the Phoenix had told him that Lily needed to come home. He hadn’t believed him,
he refused to believe that it was anything other than cruel wishing on his own
part. And yet, the aged wizard had been adamant. Looking back, however, there
had been hints as to the truth even then.
He felt such a damned idiot; a cuckolded fool.
Just as he had long suspected, Lily had run back into the arms of that fucking
filthy Slytherin bastard. It had been enraging beyond normal comprehension, and
he had found himself blinded by the emotion upon piecing together the elements
of her hidden love affair.
The pregnancy test and the cryptic letters from a lover.
Did she think him that big of a fool? So weak and desperately in love with her
that he would not be able to understand that she was using him? That they had
all used him. He had wondered if in some absurd twist of fate, they were all
sitting together at that very moment- Lily, Sirius, Dumbledore, and fucking
Snivellus… All of them having a jolly laugh at his expense. Fuck them all.
Fuck. Them. All.
On one of his previous meetings with Wormtail, James had been almost certain
that he had witnessed something not intended by his old friend. When he had
arrived at their pre-discussed location, he had seen Peter Pettigrew in the
later part of conversation amidst the shadows with a hooded, and much taller
figure. It had been something quite curious to be certain, and James had not
wished to be found out in his observations, quickly concealing himself with the
Cloak of Invisibility- Something he had recently come to carry with him under
all circumstances, given the rise in violence perpetuated from Voldemort’s army
and staggering growth in numbers. One could never be too careful. Years of
wielding the family heirloom had garnered him a certain level of adeptness when
it came to utilizing the object, and he was able to creep within almost
alarming proximity to the discussion that was taking place.
“… He seeks a report, and soon. You cannot think it wise to delay much longer.”
“B- B- But, I have not yet gained access to the information which the Dark Lord
seeks!” Peter had stuttered, his beady eyes darting about in both anxiety and
disquiet.
“Then you best hurry your efforts, for he has never been a patient man,” the
cloaked taller man continued, turning just slightly so that his silvery-blonde
hair became visible in the dim light of the alley- Lucius Malfoy.
“I will try…”
“You must do better than that, or you are worthless to us,” Lucius spat,
“Without protection from the Death Eaters, who will protect you when your
disloyalty to the Order is eventually something of common knowledge?”
Peter had looked as though he had been about to cry.
A low chuckle emanated from the taller man, “You must really be a fool, if you
did not weigh such outcomes in advance.”
“I- I- I just need a bit more time.”
“A valuable commodity.”
“Please!”
Lucius had let out an annoyed sigh, and rolled his eyes at the pleas from
Peter, “A week more. That is all I can offer you. I will not put my position as
a lieutenant at risk for a bumbling idiot such as yourself, if you cannot prove
to deliver on the things which you have promised. If you fail, then that will
be your business with the Dark Lord, and I will have no other option than to
bring you to him and walk away without a second glance in your pitiful
direction. Do you understand me?”
Peter Pettigrew had nodded in solemn understanding, and without a word more,
the known conspirator and proven Death Eater had Aparated from sight.
James had been stunned by the information, shocked that the least formidable
member of his Marauders had been the one who had possessed the bollocks to
actually defect to the opposing side. A spy! It was something he had never
thought possible, and quietly wondered just how long he had been passing
information along to Voldemort and his supporters. In the moments which had
passed since Lucius Malfoy’s departure, Wormtail had leaned against the dirty
brick wall, wiping his face with a filthy handkerchief and catching his breath.
It had been in that moment that James had swung off his cloak and brought his
hand around the fat neck of his friend, slamming the flabby body against that
same wall with more force than necessary, his wand drawn and pressed to the
thinning hair at his temple.
Peter had squeaked his surprise, his eyes widening in terror, “P- P- Prongs?”
“You bastard… You motherfucking bastard.”
“Wait! P- P- Please, P- P- Prongs! Wait!”
“Tell me why I shouldn’t bloody kill you right this instant?!”
“How m- m- much did you hear?”
“Enough to know your betrayal, you piece of shite!” he roared, “How long?!”
Pettigrew remained defiantly silent.
“HOW BLOODY LONG?!”
“It doesn’t matter…” he said quietly, eyes meeting those of his friend, “W- W-
What are you going to do?”
“Have you told them about Lily?”
When his answer was not immediate, James slammed him once more against the
wall, “Fucking answer me, Wormtail!”
“In a way… I- I- I have told them that I know where she is. That I am the
Secret Keeper for her location… But they want Frank and Alice too.”
James was seething, though suddenly an idea popped into his mind, something
that despite its depravity, somehow seemed to make sense. Was it so twisted
that he sought some relief? Some compensation from the pain that everyone had
seemed so willing to allow him to suffer? What was Peter’s change in
allegiances compared to the lies he had suffered from so many others? He could
never betray Sirius or Remus, never betray the Order and what it was that they
stood for. If there was one thing he knew, it was that Voldemort was a usurper,
a powerful and charismatic leader who desired nothing more than to be the most
significant name in history when it came to the movement that he had inspired.
James Potter would never agree with switching sides, with throwing away what he
knew was right… And killing or enslaving anyone that wasn’t a Pure-blood was
something that he would never be able to support.
Madness had a means persuading him to do the unthinkable… His rage and hurt so
influential that he couldn’t help but listen to that tiny idea that was lurking
with in his mind.
“Will they kill them?”
“I- I- I don’t know.”
“Would they consider keeping Lily alive if they were to get whatever
information that they seek?”
Peter narrowed his eyes in confusion, “Perhaps…”
“I can convince Lily to invite Frank and Alice to the house,” he told him, “But
you must do something for me in return, Wormtail.”
“Anything!”
“I will not reveal your deception, but you in turn, must never speak of mine. I
will assist you this once, and only this once… After which, you will be dead to
me. Do not think I am merely speaking the words either- I will kill you if I
ever see you again; if I ever come face-to-face with treacherous scum such as
yourself.”
He nodded, his jowls flapping, eyes darting about frantically, mouth slightly
agape.
“You must insist that they keep Lily alive, though I would not object to them
causing an unfortunate accident, so long as she survived such an ordeal…”
Peter’s expression was one of renewed confusion.
“She’s pregnant,” James spat, the words leaving a bitter taste upon his tongue,
“I merely suggest that they take care of the unfortunate situation.”
“P- P- Prongs?”
“It’s not mine you fucking half-wit!” he said with disdain, once again
violently slamming the shorter man into the wall, pressing his wand a little
more forcefully into his head, “It’s my only hope of having her return to my
arms!”
“How?!”
“Merlin’s fucking beard!” he said, looking about incredulously, “Don’t you fret
about my business! I’ll see to it- So long as you see to your end of the
goddamn bargain. Do we have a deal, or not?”
Swallowing hard, Peter extended his right hand towards his friend, fingertips
quivering slightly with nervousness. James’ grasp was hard and firm, the tight
grip causing the weaker man to flinch.
“Now off to your Master, you rat!” James growled, “I’ll let you know when a
date and time have been set.”
Chapter End Notes
     It is my intention to show Sirius Black as not a monster. Though his
     past actions towards Sev are despicable, I have attempted to show his
     reasoning behind those as a means of helping (in a twisted sense),
     the one person who had been the closest thing to family that he had
     left. It is not an excuse, mind you! Though clearly Sirius has
     witnessed the horrible revelation, within the past chapter, that
     James transformed into something akin to those he had long wished to
     disassociate himself with- The kind of viciousness that was
     comparable to his dreaded cousin, Bellatrix Lestrange.
     Though (unfortunately) utilized for her wedding to James, the wedding
     dress as described, is mine. XD
     (Not the exact dress, but extremely close, and bouquet too).
                                    [dress]
     The next chapter is the big one.
     Hopefully everyone now understands a little better as to why I broke
     these chapters up in this manner...
     As I warned, the length would've been crazy.
     Thanks for reading! XO
     Song:
     Hurt_-_Nine_Inch_Nails
***** Marauders: Part IV *****
Chapter Summary
     James finds himself face-to-face with the last person he expects.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
 “A mother’s love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no
   law, no pity. It dares all things and crushes down remorselessly all that
                             stands in its path.”
                               -Agatha Christie
                                    [reach]
When James had returned to 12 Grimmauld Place, darkness had settled over
London. He had been busy with his assignments for the Order- Tasks that he had
no way of knowing had been fabrications created by Albus Dumbledore. After
having heard Lily’s account of the horrific encounter on All Hallow’s Eve, the
aged wizard had made it a point of utmost necessity to remove James from all
priority missions. Until he had been ruled innocent, there could be no possible
risk or fear of further betrayal. Remarkably, James Potter had not seemed to
notice the changes in those surrounding him; seemingly content with both the
Order, and his living arrangements with longtime friend, Sirius Black.
Once safely inside the ancestral home of the House of Black, James removed his
cloak and straightened his glasses. Though he was acutely aware that things
would never be the same, an odd sense of peace had slowly come over him. In his
own way, James had grown to consider himself a widower- Mourning the loss of
his one true love. Nobody need understand the complexity of his and Lily’s
relationship, the unspoken truth about their actual divorce and separation.
Fortunately, those who knew the truth of it were very few and far between- Most
colleagues and acquaintances freely expressing their genuine condolences, and
offering their assistance in whatever ways he might need it. He had accepted
their generosity, his deception having partially fooled even himself with how
easy it had become to play the part.
Still he ached for her in moments of privacy, rarely offering a glimpse to
those he held in closest company. He could still recollect almost every detail
of her in perfect clarity- Fiery auburn hair, soft skin the color of cream,
glittering green eyes, and rosy pink lips. She was perfection- The only woman
he knew he would ever love. The memory of her kiss, and the way she could make
him feel with just one sidelong glance, was enough to still bring an
uncomfortable tightness to his chest. Making love to her had been exquisite,
something comparable to a transcendence of both time and space. There had only
ever been the two of them- It was all he had ever needed.
But it hadn’t been enough for Lily.
At his entrance, Kreacher had been nowhere in sight. It was somewhat strange,
though not alarming by any means. James made his way with confident familiarity
towards the back sitting room on the main floor; a room Sirius had recently
taken a liking to, and often resided in throughout the day. As he rounded the
corner and entered the room, he found himself faced with a surprise.
“Moony!” he exclaimed, smiling widely, “I had no idea you were stopping by!
It’s good to see you, mate.”
Remus nodded, though spoke not a word, his lips pressed firmly into a very thin
and straight line. Beside him, Sirius Black appeared with much the same
expression upon his own face, though his dark eyes shone with something
foreign, the likes of which had rarely been seen or leveled at him in
particular.
Malice.
James cocked his head slightly to one side in confusion, his brow furrowed as
he pondered his two oldest friends.
“I think we need to have a little chat,” Remus managed, breaking the growing
uncomfortable silence that had fallen between the three men.
“Sure…” James nodded, eyes focused upon Sirius and his continued silence, “What
about?”
“Have a seat.”
Crossing the room, James sat in one of the high-backed armchairs, waiting for
them to continue, and wondering what had brought on such an unexpected note of
seriousness from these two men who knew him better than all others- Two men he
thought of as the closest thing to family that he had left.
“There have been some unsettling allegations brought to light recently…” Remus
continued, “Allegations that require an explanation.”
“In what sense?” James questioned, “Against whom?”
“Enough with the bloody act!” Sirius finally shouted, his anger spilling out,
“Against you, Prongs!”
“Well, I’m sure that they’re unfounded!” James replied, eyes widening some, “In
what way? What have I supposedly done?”
“You led us to believe that you knew nothing of the planned assault upon your
home in Godric’s Hollow,” Remus began calmly.
“I didn’t!”
“Prongs, Frank and Alice died! The Death Eater’s fucking tortured them-
Murdered them in your fucking house!” Sirius seethed.
“It was Wormtail!” James spat, his anger flaring as well, “He was the Secret
Keeper! He betrayed us!”
“And how would he have known precisely when Frank and Alice would be there, and
conveniently, when you would be absent?” Remus asked.
“I don’t know!”
Sirius slammed his hands down upon the arms of the chair where James Potter
sat. Bending at the waist, he leveled himself with his best friend. There was
no warmth in his stare when he met his eyes, no display of friendship, or
humorous remark upon the tip of his tongue.
“Padfoot, you have to believe me…”
“Neville Longbottom is an orphan because of the evil that occurred within your
home on All Hallow’s Eve… Do you feel no remorse for your actions? For your
damned stupidity?”
“Fuck you!” James seethed, his rage finally boiling over, “Fuck the both of
you! Do you not think that I suffer with the knowledge of what happened that
damned night?! Knowing that while unspeakable acts occurred under my very roof,
that I was out having a merry old time with the both of you? I was with you. If
anyone should trust me- Defend me, it’s you! If I had known anything about
Wormtail’s treachery, I would have dropped everything and headed back there at
once,” he looked pleadingly from one friend to the other, “Perhaps Frank and I
could have taken them… Maybe I could have saved them… Saved her,” he coughed on
genuine emotion before continuing, his voice cracking and very low, “Do you not
think that I would have done anything to save her? I live with the pain of
Lily’s death every day, and knowing that there wasn’t a goddamned thing that I
ever could have done to save her.”
“That’s just the thing, mate…” Remus sighed.
“I did save her,” a voice interjected, low and icy in its drawl, and
unmistakably familiar.
Sirius rose from his position over his closest friend, and stepped aside,
revealing a shadowy figure in the doorway. Taking a few steps into the room,
one could make out his shoulder-length jet-black hair tied back, the shadow of
a beard upon his face, his dark eyes illuminated by the firelight.
Severus Snape.
His usual billowing robes had been replaced with black pants and a matching
black dress shirt, the sleeves rolled up to the elbows. The intricate black
lines of his Dark Mark were plainly visible upon the pale flesh at the inside
of his left arm.
“Snivellus…?”
“Show some respect in my house!” Sirius spat, glaring at James.
“Respect? Respect?! You allow that greasy fucking Death Eater into your house
and ask me to fucking respect him?!”
“He deserves much more than just our respect, James,” Remus replied calmly.
The laugh which sprung forth from the head Marauder was full of bitterness and
sounded hollow.
“Is something funny to you?” Severus questioned, remaining at a calculated
distance.
“Fuck you, liar!”
Sirius made to retort his oldest friend, though Severus waved a hand casually
in a gesture that symbolized a lack of care, “How am I a liar?”
“To claim that you saved her!” he shouted, eyes wild, and spittle flying from
his mouth, “There was too much blood- Too much gore remaining…! No one could
have survived,” he coughed, teeth bared in dislike, “You may have fucked her
Snivellus, but it was I who loved her.”
“Loved her enough to murder people you called your friends?” Severus replied in
question, his voice icy, “Loved her enough to orphan a child- Rob him of his
parents? Loved her enough to make a deal with the devil?”
“As though you have any right to accuse me, Death Eater!”
“You sold her to those who you vowed to despise,” he continued, “Sold the life
of her unborn child to pure evil just to keep and preserve her for yourself-
That’s hardly love.”
“It should have been mine!”
“James- “ Remus tried.
“Damn you all!” he rounded on them “It should have been mine…”
“Listen to yourself, mate!” Sirius exclaimed, shaking him, “This isn’t you!
What were you thinking?! Do you realize what you’ve done?!”
“It doesn’t matter now… Nothing will bring her back.”
“James…”
The sudden sound of a feminine voice caused everyone in the room to turn around
and the head Marauder’s jaw to fall open in utter shock.
“Lily…” Severus said quietly, going to her at once, his hands gently closing
around her arms.
“I’m fine,” she assured him, noting the concern in both his voice and eyes.
“How-? What-?” James stammered.
“Severus surprised all of us,” Remus stated, “He learned of the encounter just
in time to save Lily.”
“And almost Alice,” Lily added sadly.
“But…”
“The wreckage as you all discovered it as a necessary diversion of sorts,”
Severus offered.
Lily stepped forward, cautiously approaching the chair in which her ex-husband
sat, “Why? Why did you do it, James?”
“I- I don’t… I have no idea what you- “
“What she means?” Sirius frowned, his interruption causing his best friend to
cringe, “Don’t insult her intelligence, mate.”
“But, I- “
Severus leaned in close, “Choose your answers wisely, for they may be your
last… If you think for one second that I’ll allow you to pretend your innocent
in front of her… Well, I assure you that will not hesitate to kill you right
where you sit. Not even your friends will be able to protect you, or save you
from my wrath.”
Stepping from her place before her ex-husband, Lily turned and placed her hands
gently upon Severus’ face.
“I won’t let him lie to you…” he told her quietly, “Not after all that you’ve
been through; all that you’ve lost…”
James rolled his eyes and Sirius punched him hard in the shoulder.
“You’d do well to learn some tact, James…” Remus sighed, shaking his head.
“So what now?” James asked, eyes lowered to his feet.
“You can’t even answer her question?” Sirius growled.
“What does it matter…?” he mumbled, “I’ve lost, and Snivellus has won.”
“That’s just the thing, James,” Lily sighed, his eyes lifting to meet hers, “I
was never a trophy to be won. I was never an object meant for you and you
alone… If you had truly loved me, as you claim that you still do, you would
have understood that. You would have loved me enough to see me happy, and to
let me go.”
“So what now?”
“I give you my forgiveness,” she told him, squeezing Severus’ hand all the
while, “But know that I never want to see you again. I never will think about
you, or speak your name again so long as I live… The only reason I even give
you my forgiveness, is because I will not taint the rest of my life with the
hatred that threatens me at every moment for what you have done. You are not
worthy of me- Of the Order- Of Sirius and Remus… Of anyone. You will be
forgotten, and you must find forgiveness within yourself for the unthinkable
atrocities that you have helped bring about.”
“And you’ll be the one to kill me then, Snivellus?”
Severus shook his head, a smirk coming over his lips, “I think not.”
Before James was able to question again what was to come of him, two more
wizards entered the room, this time Kingsley Shacklebolt, and Albus Dumbledore.
At their appearance, especially that of his former Headmaster, James Potter
suddenly grew very white.
“Have you heard enough?” Sirius asked the two men.
Kingsley nodded, “Regardless, a little time in Azkaban tends to loosen the
tongue rather quickly. Once the desperation sets in, after the Dementors have
succeeded in draining every trace of happiness, it’s not uncommon for the truth
to come pouring out in great detail.”
“You can’t!” James begged, turning to Albus Dumbledore, “Sir, you must believe
me!”
“Mister Potter,” the aged wizard began, “I have spent years defending your
actions, years hoping that you would eventually grow out of your immature
conceit and tendency for overwhelming attention. You have greatly disappointed
me, as you have your friends and all of us. I have not come to defend you, as I
have on countless occasions before, no, I am here to bid you farewell as I
assist Kingsley with escorting you to Azkaban.”
As they prepared to leave the ancestral home of Sirius Black, James turned to
face Lily one last time, a desperate apology upon his lips at long last, “I’m
sorry, Lily, I’m so sorry!”
It was Lily who spoke the final words, words which echoed those spoken by her
ex-husband on that fateful afternoon prior to the horrendous violence which had
taken place later that evening on All Hallow’s Eve:
“Me too,” and she leaned in close to his ear, not kissing him upon the cheek as
he had her, “Goodbye, James.”
Chapter End Notes
     Lily is not a killer, and it would have been out of character for her
     to allow torture or death of anyone, even someone deserving like
     James.
     But forgiveness is a far harder feat than revenge, and I believe that
     she would not be able to cope had Sev been allowed to do something so
     momentarily fulfilling, as killing him. I believe that there is
     something incredibly powerful in both Lily and Sev standing before
     James as a powerful unit and symbol of love and fearlessness,
     supported by people long thought to harbor vendettas based solely
     upon popularity and cliques.
     Well, there might be a gap between this chapter and the next...
     Posting so many updates calls for a little break, also with
     Thanksgiving being tomorrow.
     We had to put our cat down today.
     My husband and I will both miss her, she was only five, and it was
     rather unexpected and sudden.
     I hope everyone understands. :'(
     I have updated the song choice to reflect one selected by a dedicated
     reader, Mimmi.
     I loved it so much that I felt as though it truly was the one meant
     for this chapter rather than the one that I had earlier selected.
     Thank you so much for showing me such a beautiful and fitting piece.
     ♥
     Song:
     Maurice_Ravel's_Piano_Concerto_in_G_Major_-_Vladimir_Jurowski_&
     Hélène_Grimaud
***** The Locket *****
Chapter Summary
     With James out of the picture, the Order of the Phoenix can once
     again focus upon their primary task: Ridding the world of Lord
     Voldemort.
     Dumbledore has a special task in mind for Severus and Lily; Sirius
     finds more unexpected secrets close at hand.
Chapter Notes
     There is a portion of this third chapter taken directly from the
     brilliant J. K. Rowling in her seventh book, Harry Potter & The
     Deathly Hallows.
See the end of the chapter for more notes
                  “Words without experience are meaningless.”
                               -Vladimir Nabokov
                                   [locket]
In the time since James Potter’s arrest and removal from the ranks of the Order
of the Phoenix, a change had undergone the members of Albus Dumbledore’s
squadron. Though not plainly obvious when it came to all individuals, those
most effected were understandably Remus Lupin and Sirius Black. Despite their
disgust at the actions of their once dear friend, and confidante, both men had
slowly begun to emerge from their shells and quiet period of mourning. When
they had emerged from their reflection, they had found themselves once more
face-to-face with Severus Snape- One of the last people either had ever thought
they would ever find themselves sharing a side with. Though prone to distrust,
considering their previous knowledge of his once allegiance to the Dark Lord
and his Death Eaters, Moony and Padfoot slowly found themselves experiencing an
emotion that they had never thought possible with the Slytherin from their
youth- Trust.
Such a simple concept, and yet a terribly complicated emotion when it came to
understanding at its fullest. Neither man had ever held much thought to
befriending the rival of their little gang of Marauders, on the contrary, they
had often either participated in the act of bullying him, or turning a blind-
eye all together. Years of indifference and extreme dislike were hardly
something that could be washed aside after a single encounter, yet they had all
made great strides towards finding something remotely resembling an
understanding. The addition of Lily’s presence also seemed to assist greatly
when it came to taking steps forward, rather than back.
It was on a late evening at the end of January that a meeting was called at 12
Grimmauld Place, the new impromptu headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix.
Albus Dumbledore had placed a variety of charms and enchantments over the
space, none so powerful as the Fidelius Charm, concealing the location from
unwanted eyes. At the stroke of eleven, two shrouded figures emerged from thin
air, slipping inside of the ancient residence, and immediately out of sight.
“The Half-blood and his filthy Mudblood lady friend have arrived,” Kreacher
announced, the words half spat in disgust as he entered the back sitting room
of the house.
Sirius Black stood and opened his mouth angrily to retort the pervasive
language of the elderly House Elf, though the former Headmaster of the three
spoke first.
“Excellent!” he nodded, “Thank you for their safe delivery, Kreacher.”
The wrinkled and lopsided House Elf blinked twice before turning on his heel,
muttering to himself as he exited the space, “Mistress Walburga… The filth! The
thought of such breeding in Mistress’ House!”
“Apologies for the Help…” Sirius grumbled through gritted teeth, motioning the
pair inside so that they might warm themselves by the fire.
Lily extended her slender hands at the crackling flames within the fireplace,
then slipped out of her traveling cloak when Severus stepped behind her to
assist her with the garment’s removal. Her long auburn curls seemed positively
alive from the dancing light and deep contrast of the fire, her green eyes
luminescent in the intimate space.
“Will there be more in attendance?” Severus questioned, removing his cloak as
well, and hanging the two upon the opposite wall.
“No, not this evening,” Dumbledore answered, “In fact, it is truly to the two
of you alone, whom I wish an audience.”
Sirius Black smiled his usual handsome grin, “My house, my rules.”
“Yes, you’ve said that…” the aged wizard sighed.
“Is it for the Order, then?” Lily asked.
“Very much so,” he nodded, “A task fitting for the both of you to share-
Partially because I am aware that separating you would be nothing short of
futile in nature.”
“And Sirius?” Severus motioned.
“I’m just here for my exceedingly good-looks and impeccable personality,” he
winked.
“Sirius!” Lily scolded.
“Yes, that’s quite enough,” Dumbledore frowned, “Mister Black is only present
because of his association to the house in which we currently sit- He is aware
that I will not hesitate to Obliviate his memory if he continues in his
unnecessary japes… This is not a conversation or task in which one might find
anything amusing. I assure all of you, that this may be the most dangerous and
grave of all tasks we have embarked upon thus far.”
“And it is your intention to entrust such an undertaking to Lily and myself?”
Severus questioned, arms crossed over his chest.
“There is no one else I would consider more capable of than the both of you.”
“And what is it, sir?” Lily asked, seating herself in one of the grand
armchairs by the fire.
“Have any of you ever heard of a Horcrux?”
All three exchanged looks with one another, but Severus Snape was the only one
who spoke an answer.
“Yes.”
“And what do you know about them?”
“That they are possibly the darkest form of magic ever performed,” he began,
voice slightly lower than usual, almost reverent to the mystique of the word,
“Legend claims the origin to Herpo the Foul, supposedly the only wizard ever
capable of such evil…”
“I’ve never heard of such a thing before,” Lily interjected, “Not at Hogwarts
or in any book that I’ve read- “
“Which would be very much expected,” their former Headmaster told her, not
unkindly, “A ‘Horocrux’ is the word for an object in which a person has
concealed a part of their soul…”
“You split your soul through deliberately committing murder,” Severus
continued, “It is an act considered to be of such a supreme evil- Supreme
darkness, that it supposedly results in the murderer damaging their soul in the
process.”
“One uses that existing damage to their advantage by casting a particular spell
which then rips the damaged portion of the soul from the physical body,”
Dumbledore resumed, “A process which involves encasing it in an object of its
owner’s desire. Thus, if the maker is later killed- “
“He cannot truly die,” Sirius Black completed, eyes and voice expressing a deep
fear.
A deep silence fell over the space, when all that could be heard was the steady
popping and crackling of the fire within the hearth.
“And you believe that You-Know-Who has done this?” Lily finally managed, voice
quavering slightly.
“It is my suspicion,” the aged wizard nodded, eyes trained upon the former
Death Eater who shared the space with them.
“He has,” Severus said quietly, almost breathing the words rather than speaking
them, “I know of one in particular… I recall the moment he tested the
fortifications he had placed.” The silence with followed was chilling,
especially when he locked his dark eyes with the gray ones of Sirius Black, “It
wasn’t long after that Regulus disappeared.”
“Master Regulus was a hero!” Kreacher shouted, causing all but Dumbledore to
jump from the fright of his unexpected presence, “Master Regulus never brought
dishonor upon Mistress Walburga’s house! Never broke Mistress’ heart like the
eldest… The ungrateful scum- “
“Enough!” Sirius shouted, fists clenched.
“Master Regulus trusted Kreacher! The Dark One required an elf, but he left
Kreacher in the dampness and darkness… The hidden cave filled with dead.
Kreacher was so thirsty… Kreacher would have died alone, but Kreacher came back
here as he was told- And told Master Regulus about the secret… About the
pretty. Master Regulus had Kreacher show the way.”
Everyone was glued to the elderly House Elf in the midst of his never-before
spoken tale, his bullfrog voice animated and intense with the revealing of the
secret he had so long concealed.
“Kreacher knew the way! Kreacher bled for the door and showed Master Regulus to
the boat. We crossed the great black lake together and came to the island- The
island where the Dark One had Kreacher drink the potion.”
“What potion?” Lily managed, eyes settling on Severus who had always been adept
at the study.
“A trial of sorts,” Dumbledore stated, his voice sounding very far away, “The
kind of Dark Arts best known from You-Know-Who, himself.”
“And he made you drink this potion?” Sirius seethed, disgusted by the actions
of his younger brother.
Kreacher shook his head and wept, “M-Master Regulus took from his pocket a
locket like the one the Dark One had,” tears pouring down either side of his
snout-like nose, “And he told Kreacher to take it and, when the basin was
empty, to switch the lockets…”
Kreacher’s sobs came in great rasps, the three wizards and one witch, having to
listen closely to understand him.
“And he ordered – Kreacher to leave – without him. And he told Kreacher – to go
home – and never to tell my Mistress – what he had done – but to destroy – the
first locket. And he drank – all the potion – and Kreacher swapped the lockets
– and watched . . . as Master Regulus . . . was dragged beneath the water . . .
and . . .”
“So you brought the locket home,” Sirius managed, pity in his eyes, “And have
you tried to destroy it?”
“Nothing Kreacher did has made any mark upon it,” he moaned, “Kreacher has
tried everything, everything he knows! But nothing, nothing has worked…! So
many powerful spells upon the casing, Kreacher was sure the way to destroy it
was to get inside it, but it would not open… Kreacher would punish himself, he
tried again, he punished himself, he tried again. Kreacher failed to obey
orders, Kreacher has not destroyed the locket! And his Mistress was mad with
grief because Master Regulus disappeared, and Kreacher could not tell her what
had happened, no, because Master Regulus had f-f-forbidden him to tell any of
the f-f-family what happened in the c-c-cave…”
Kreacher began to sob so hard that there were no more coherent words. Tears
fell down and pooled around him upon the ground, his small body writhing in the
emotions which he felt. When they had subsided to some degree, he sat up,
pulling upon a gold chain that none of them had ever before noticed, which hung
about the wrinkled folds of his neck. From the confines of the threadbare rags
which he wore, the token of mystery emerged- The object of the story he had
finally shared, and the pretty, which he had held on to at the bidding of
Regulus Black from all those years before. The locket.
“May I see it, Kreacher?” Dumbledore questioned gently, outstretching his hand.
The House Elf clung to the object, clearly suspicious of the motives of the
white-bearded man before him, “Upon my life, you will have it back when I am
done.”
Turning the object over in his hands, the great wizard observed and studied the
locket with the finesse of an archeologist. After some time had passed, he
finally looked up and met the eyes of everyone within the little sitting room
in which they sat.
“Undoubtedly antique,” he smiled, “Though Mister Snape would be the most
familiar with its design and intricacies, when compared to the rest of us
present, I presume.”
All eyes shifted to the tall man with the shoulder-length jet-black hair, and
he narrowed his eyes in obvious confusion at his former Headmaster’s statement.
“It appears to be the artifact worn by your house founder, Salazar Slytherin,”
Dumbledore continued, hand rising and falling some to show the weight of the
locket, “Solid gold, with emeralds forming a distinct and deliberately detailed
serpentine ‘S’ upon the front panel. It is most certainly his in origin.”
“But how- “ Sirius began.
“I presume the use of Parseltongue will open it,” Dumbledore interrupted,
“Destroying it will be a different matter entirely…”
“We must somehow damage it beyond repair,” Severus added, “Just as Kreacher
said Regulus had bid… Fiendfyre perhaps?”
“Almost impossible to control!” Lily exclaimed, “We would risk doing more harm
than good!”
“Only good can come from the destruction of such pervasive objects!” Sirius
spat.
“Not if we die trying to rid the world of them!” Lily shouted, rising to her
feet, “I agree, we must find a way to remove such hideous magic from the world-
Especially if tied to You-Know-Who! But we must think before we act, if we mean
to live to see our future!”
“She’s right,” Severus agreed, “There must be other options… It was merely a
suggestion.”
“I believe that I have an idea, though I will attempt such an experiment upon
my return to Hogwarts,” Dumbledore stated, rising to his feet, “For now, I
think we may have had enough excitement for one night. But before I go, can I
be certain of your answer to my request? Will the two of you help me in ridding
our magical world of these bastardized relics?”
“How many are there?” Lily heard herself question.
“I have an idea of where to look for more,” he admitted, “This has helped, and
will prove of tremendous value.”
“At least three,” Severus swallowed, “This being one of them.”
Chapter End Notes
     I'm baaack! :):):)
     A few things-
     I would just like to thank everyone for all of the kind words in
     regards to my kitty, Peppercorn Grey.
     We're over 4000 hits!
     And in case you haven't noticed, there's a countdown beginning... 35
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***** A Ring with a Secret *****
Chapter Summary
     Albus Dumbledore has our lovers accompany him on a very important
     outing.
Chapter Notes
     There is a portion of this third chapter taken directly from the
     brilliant J. K. Rowling in her sixth and seventh books, Harry Potter
     & The Half-Blood Prince & Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows.
     Also, please proceed with caution if you have any triggers.
     Abuse, and illusions to sexual assault in this chapter- Please know
     your own limitations. I don't want anyone to feel uncomfortable.
See the end of the chapter for more notes
   “Love cannot be forced, love cannot be coaxed and teased. It comes out of
                        heaven, unasked and unsought.”
                                -Pearl S. Buck
                                [resurrection]
The house was dilapidated and unkempt, the building mostly obscured by
overgrown trees. Scarcely a ray of sunlight managed to penetrate the heavy
canopy- All light finding itself blocked, with no view of the pretty valley
below. From just one look, no one would dare suspect the shack to be a true
residence, or anything remotely resembling a home. The walls were mossy, the
ground littered with tiles that had once formed a roof- So many had fallen away
that the rafters had become visible in places. Nettles grew all around the
building, their tips reaching the windows; tiny and thick with grime. Upon the
door was the carcass of a snake, a few days old, and nailed like a hideous form
of ornamentation.
It was her curse; her prison.
What former life’s misdeeds had earned her a life deserving of such torment and
horrors had been unimaginable. There was nothing she could ever do right, ever
perform well enough to prove of her true capabilities and worth when it came to
her family. Those odds had been stacked against her from the time of her birth,
when she had murdered her own mother when brought forth into the world. She had
breathed her first breath as her mother had breathed her last, forever cursing
her father with another mouth to feed, and later showing delayed magical
abilities.
Disgusting little Squib.
That’s what he had called her, but he couldn’t have been more wrong. She was no
Squib. Any talents were carefully concealed and magic learned secretly and
alone in stolen moments. She would prove them all wrong- She would make
something of herself, and leave all memories of the disgusting shack and Little
Hangleton behind. Unfortunately, they stole her hope too… Her happiness had not
been enough; they had wanted her innocence as well.
“Pick it up! That’s it, grub on the floor like some filthy Muggle, what’s your
wand for, you useless sack or muck?”
“Killed your mother, you did. Wish it would’ve been you- Fucking worthless.”
“How could anyone love you? Look at yourself!”
Her father and brother’s abuses had had been shouted at her for as long as she
could remember, something she was able to compartmentalize away whenever they
got into one of their spells of drunkenness, or usual meanness. And still,
despite their constant cries of how ugly she was, it had not stopped them from
their most despicable acts.
At fifteen her father had slipped into her room late one evening, smelling
strongly of liquor and stale sweat. His shoulders had always been very broad,
though his arms slightly too long when compared to his height. His hair was
short and dirty, his face hanging in wrinkles, teeth browned from years without
brushing. She had feigned sleep, though found her breath coming faster and
faster with the sense of building dread and unease. Maybe he would leave her.
And then he had surprised her by his large fingers lightly grazing her lank and
dull hair. What once would have been welcomed physical attention, the
comforting touch of a father to his daughter as she drifted off to sleep, sent
a wave of nausea straight to her stomach, and a chill of fear down her spine.
“My Merope.”
He had never called her such, never seemingly gave a care or second thought her
way, and such words spoken were both suspicious to her, and desperately gobbled
up with the hope that he was finally expressing a fondness for her that he had
long kept hidden deep away.
All of that had been shattered when he had crawled on top of her and wounded
her in an act of overwhelming and incomprehensible violence. Those same long
arms, covered in thick, dark hair, holding her down, one large palm muffling
her cries and screams as she attempted to protest- Tried to fight him off with
everything that she had… To no avail. No one would hear her. No one would help
her. No one cared. When he had finished in his pervasive task, he had grunted
as he stood and refastened his pants, staring at her for just a moment before
he left the room.
Her cheeks were stained with tears, her mouth tasting of iron from the bite she
had taken to the inside of her lip. She ached from the sting of brute force to
her most intimate and private of places- Pleadingly meeting the eyes of her
father, seemingly asking a silent ‘why?’
Marvolo Gaunt had smiled wickedly. The last thing she saw had been the dull
glint of light catching upon the gaudy ring he always wore; an heirloom of old.
It was a gold ring that sported an obsidian colored stone, another object
wicked in its reminder of the wealth their family had once possessed.
It was not the only time, and not soon after, her brother too felt the need to
join in.
“She’s ugly,” Morfin had complained.
“Then close your eyes while you fuck her,” Marvolo growled, slapping the boy on
the back of the head, “There must be an heir! Salazar Slytherin’s line must not
die out! Think about her cunt and not about her face.”
With time she had grown numb to their abuses in all forms, praying to whatever
God that existed that she might someday escape their torment- And somehow
remain without child despite their consistent attempts. It had been overtime
that she had occasionally been able to lay eyes upon the tall and handsome heir
of the Riddle family. Tom often rode past the shack on horseback, Merope
keeping to the shadows as she would watch him pass, silently noting there was
scarcely a more well-kept and honorable appearing man. Over time she would
occasionally pass through the yard when she could hear the distinct sound of
his horse approaching. She knew that she was not beautiful- A fact ingrained
into her from both her father and brother’s constant abuses. As if she needed
the reminder. Yet, on two occasions, Tom Riddle had slowed in his ride, once
time meeting her eyes with his own, and on the other tipping his hat
gentlemanly.
It became something of a secret escape, a means of somehow regaining a shred of
that hope she had one time believed in. Maybe she did deserve more… Maybe there
was still hope for her. And then, she had seen Cecilia. Merope had paused in
the shadows after hearing the high-pitched feminine laughter, noting the sound
of an additional horse approaching. When they had come into view she had felt
her heart drop at the sight of her. Cecilia was everything that Merope was not.
She had long golden curls, a beautifully cut sky-blue dress that accentuated
her curves, lovely blue eyes, and luscious pink lips.
“My God, what an eyesore! Couldn’t your father have that hovel cleared away,
Tom?” she exclaimed, noticing the shack.
“It’s not ours. Everything on the other side of the valley belongs to us, but
that cottage belongs to an old tramp called Gaunt, and his children. The son’s
quite mad, you should hear some of the stories they tell in the village…”
“Tom, I might be wrong- But has somebody nailed a snake to that door?”
“Good lord, you’re right!” he stated, voice hinting disgust, “That’ll be the
son, I told you he’s not right in the head. Don’t look at it, Cecilia,
darling.”
Darling.
Merope had leaned against one of the overgrown trees in the yard, her back to
the gnarled trunk and hidden from their sight. She closed her eyes, hands
clutched to her chest as she steadied her breathing. He had called her
‘darling,’ as she had daydreamed he might one day call her. The tightness in
her chest was painful, though she refused to shed the tears which threatened to
fall from her eyes.
“What of the other?” Cecilia had questioned as they continued riding once more.
“Whom?”
“You said that place is owned by a tramp and his children.”
“Ah, yes…” Tom nodded, “There is a daughter too. She seems to be the most
normal of the bunch, though quite defeated looking. I’ve seen her a few times
when riding past.”
“How dreadful.”
“She seems quite lovely in her own sad way…” he remarked as they rounded the
corner and out of sight.
Lovely? Had he actually thought of her in that way?
It had been because of that slight hope, that distinct flutter of something
resembling endearment or affection, which had led to Merope eventually being
caught by her brother one afternoon in her distant admirations for the handsome
heir from the village below. Due to his usual poor timing, Morfin had also
elected to taunt her and reveal her secret to their father when an unexpected
visitor had been present. Bob Ogden had been checking in from the Ministry, and
it had seemingly been a moment of true fate.
“She likes looking at that Muggle. Always in the garden when he passes, peering
through the hedge at him, isn’t she? And last night- “
“Hanging out of the window to look at a Muggle…?” he said quietly, rising to
his feet, and then spinning to face Merope, “Is it true?!” Marvolo had raged,
“My daughter... Pure-blooded descendant of Salazar Slytherin – Hankering after
a filthy, dirt-veined Muggle?”
“But I got him, Father!” Morfin cackled, “I got him as he went by and he didn’t
look so pretty with hives all over him, did he, Merope?”
“You disgusting little Squib, you filthy little blood-traitor!” Marvolo roared,
losing control, his hands closing tightly around his daughter’s throat.
It had been the same visitor, Bob Ogden, whom had saved her. He had fled in a
hurry from their shack, though returned within a quarter of an hour with
reinforcements from the Ministry of Magic. Merope had cowered within the filthy
house, her father and brother fighting the Aurors until they were eventually
subdued and placed under arrest. It had been a short while later that Marvolo
and Morfin had been brought before the Wizengamot and sentenced to time in
Azkaban. The father for six months, the brother for three years.
Merope had known that she had to get away while her father and brother were
incarcerated. If she was still in the shack when they returned, she knew that
her life would once more resume that horrible existence that had been all she
had thought possible in the past. But with them gone, she could finally make
something of herself, prove that she deserved more- That happiness and love
might actually be possible. Tom Riddle had called her ‘lovely’ once. He was the
obvious choice- The obvious candidate to sweep her off her feet, like the
Prince Charming of old. Despite what her family might have thought, Merope knew
herself capable, and not a Squib- Not dumb when it came to looking through the
few old books which remained in the shack and spoke of spells and potions,
learned from past generations that had been able to afford attendance to a
school called Hogwarts. She immersed herself in the recipes and details,
eventually finding precisely what it was that she sought- A love potion. Though
her conscience told her that love was something earned, that with time Tom
would fall for her, she knew that time was not something that was on her side
when considering escape.
His fortune and family status was of no concern to her. Merope had never known
luxuries in her life, nor was she concerned with the finer things that could be
provided to her. No, she merely desired Tom Riddle because he had shown her
some chivalry in his rides past the shack. That he had not called her names or
thought of her as worthless or ugly. He might pity her some, but she felt that
even an emotion such as pity, was something that could somehow transform itself
into endearment with time. He just needed a little push. And what was wrong
with a love potion that helped nudge him in the right direction, so long as it
meant for mutual happiness down the road? Certainly he would see his love for
her in time. Her freedom from cruelty had led her to believe that there was a
true chance, and that was enough to make her follow through with the plan.
Unfortunately, it was not to be.
Though it worked for a time, Merope finding herself married and pregnant from
the handsome gentleman she had loved from afar, her conscience told her when
the time had arrived to stop the draughts of Amortentia. It could have not been
worse. The transformation had been almost immediate, the affectionate and
loving smiles transforming to a look of frightful shock at the realization of
what his life had become, and whom he had unknowingly decided to share it with.
Tom Riddle had fled from her, abandoning Merope and the unborn child she
carried in a rush to return to the home of his parents in Little Hangleton. She
had been destitute. But even more than that, she had been overwhelmingly
heartbroken.
At barely nineteen, on New Year’s Eve, Merope had staggered up the front steps
of Wool’s Orphanage in London. It was snowing and bitterly cold, her clothing
tight around her swollen belly. Earlier that day she had sold the only thing of
value that she was left possessing- A golden locket that had once belonged to
her ancestor, Salazar Slytherin. She had needed the money to pay for the room
she had been staying in- Caractacus Burke offering her ten Galleons. It had
been barely enough, and though she knew it to be worth much more, she just
didn’t care. The baby had been born that night, a son. Though the babe was
healthy and bright, his lungs strong in the freezing winter air, Merope found
it hard to even smile when he was placed in her arms. They had not been able to
fully stop the bleeding from the birth, and her heart was shattered from the
loss of a man she had truly thought would see to her reasoning- To the deep
love that she felt. Either way, magic had proved just how vile it was to her
when Tom had left, and in that moment she had vowed to never utilize it again.
“Call him Tom for his father, Marvolo for mine, and Riddle for his last,” she
had told the attendant, her voice already weak, the little baby slipping down
her arms, “I only wish for him to look like his father…”
===============================================================================
The knock upon the cottage door was startling to both Lily and Severus.
Silently, he had motioned that Lily move to the back bedroom and out of sight.
She had gone without a word, and Severus had drawn his wand, cautiously
approaching the door.
“Mister Snape, it is I, Albus Dumbledore,” a familiar voice said somewhat
muffled through the door, “Your mother same from the noble line of the House of
Prince, and was quite gifted at Gobstones…”
Severus greeted the aged wizard with a deep frown, though stepped aside to
allow him entry. Lily appeared from the bedroom shortly after, much warmer in
her smiled greeting to their former Headmaster.
“I hope that I haven’t caused too much stress from coming unannounced,” he told
them, “I’m afraid that there wasn’t enough time permitting me sending an owl.”
“Can I get you a cup of tea?” Lily offered.
“No thank you, my dear,” he told her with a smile, “You are most kind. However,
I fear that we do not have much time for pleasantries- I believe that I have
located another horcrux and wish that you join me.”
Severus and Lily exchanged a mutual look of surprise, before Severus spoke.
“Have you destroyed the locket?”
“Not yet, though it is on my person,” he replied, “I feel that there is a
strong likelihood that it might open when we reach the location that I have
determined.”
“But how will you destroy both it and this new one?” Lily pressed.
“I have brought with me a treasured artifact that I believe capable of doing
the trick,” Dumbledore stated, though offered no more.
“And where are we going?” Severus questioned.
“All will be explained upon arrival,” he told them, and then led the way out of
the cottage.
“I don’t like this,” Severus told Lily as they pulled on their cloaks, “The
danger, the cryptic nature- “
“You know that’s what he’s like,” Lily shrugged, “I’m sure we’ll be alright,
but we need to be on guard as well.”
“I won’t have you hurt.”
She placed her hand gently upon his cheek, her eyes locking with his own, “I’ll
be careful. But you must also remember that I can do well with a wand too. I’m
not incapable of protecting myself or of assisting when needed.”
“I know,” he told her with a sigh, “Don’t think- “
But she kissed him before he could make the apology that she knew was upon his
lips. Together they met their former Headmaster in the yard and placed their
hands upon his arms at his instruction, disappearing into nothingness as they
Apparated out of sight. When they next appeared, they stood at the entry of a
very overgrown and forgotten hovel. The remains of the residence had seemingly
been reclaimed by the wilds- The grasses at waist level, nettles standing six
feet and taller. The structure itself had sagged and collapsed from years of
neglect and disuse. It was a sorry sight to behold.
“What is this place?” Lily asked in a near whisper, “Where are we?”
“A place long forgotten, as I’m sure the both of you can tell,” Dumbledore
began, “Many years ago it was inhabited by the last three descendants of
Salazar Slytherin, the Gaunts.”
“The Dark Lord has long claimed to be the heir of Slytherin-?” Severus
questioned, brow slightly furrowed.
“Excellent, Mister Snape!” the aged wizard nodded, “And you will see that it is
not just a claim, but truth. The locket was once possessed by the daughter who
lived in this poor excuse for a home. Her name was Merope, the daughter of
Marvolo, and sister to Morfin.”
“They lived here?” Lily managed, eyes wide, staring at the surroundings, “But-
“
“Generations of inbreeding and poor management of fortunes led them to be quite
destitute,” Dumbledore interjected, “The finery and wealth from the time of
their greatest ancestor was lost long before the birth of Marvolo Gaunt. As the
final three members of the line, they were left with only a few trinkets to
show for the famous heritage which they sported… This,” and he held up the
locket, “And another that I predict we will find within.”
“And this Merope was-? Was she the Dark Lord’s-?” Severus thought aloud.
“His mother, yes.”
The thought of such a frightening being having a mother seemed a strange
thought indeed. The fact that Voldemort had descended from the most supremacist
founder of Hogwarts was also quite a terrifying prospect when made reality.
“Be on your guard,” Dumbledore continued after a brief pause in their
conversation, when all eyes had fallen upon the ruin before them, “Though the
locket was retrieved with ease, it was clear from Kreacher’s tale that it was
not meant to be the case. If we had sought it in the original hiding place, it
may have taken years or a lifetime to discover… We were very lucky. We should
not suspect that the others will be quite so easy.”
“But how did you learn about this place?” Severus managed, “How were you able
to discern the truth of the Dark Lord’s parentage and discover the true
location?”
Albus Dumbledore smiled kindly, “I have my ways. Perhaps a tale for another
day… Though know that it was I who first found the orphaned Tom Riddle when it
was time to deliver the news of his magical abilities and his invitation to
attend Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.”
“Tom Riddle?” Lily asked.
“The true identity of You-Know-Who,” Dumbledore explained, “Before he had
transformed himself into something beyond recognition from his years of
learning the Dark Arts, and fracturing his soul repeatedly through heinous acts
of violence and horrific magic to create the objects which we now seek to
destroy.”
“It’s strange to think that he was once a child; once a man.”
“Lily…” Severus protested.
“She is right,” Dumbledore objected, waving a hand at Severus’ warning tone,
“One must never forget that even the Dark Lord is just a man. He has
manipulated himself these many years, transforming and changing himself, though
beneath the security of these horcruxes, he remains still a mortal man. Now,
enough questions for now, shall we?”
After many spells performed by each party in attendance, the three finally
managed to succeed in their admittance to the ruined shack before them. As
suspected, Voldemort had left various fortifications in place, though easily
passed when counteracting charms and enchantments that made it impossible for
one to breach the barrier of entrance. It was not unlike a puzzle or game of
Wizarding Chess when it came to correctly strategizing a means to proceed to
the next stage, and then the one that was to follow. The interior of the space
was just as ruined as the exterior, though the aged wizard entered with his
wand brightly illuminated, taping the toe of his shoe thoughtfully as he
seemingly paced the space until he found what it was that he had seemingly
sought. Crouching at the ground, he traced the outline of the mud caked
floorboards, whispering a spell that popped the edge up so that he was able to
lift the section and gently set it aside. His hand disappeared into the shadowy
depths, and moments later he extracted a golden box which he placed with equal
carefulness upon the soiled remains of a floor. Opening the box, the three
found an ornate gold ring within, a deep onyx stone set into the facets, gaudy
and antique, though undoubtedly hypnotic. Though faint, upon the surface of the
ring, an etching was made only slightly evident by the light from Dumbledore’s
wand. It was strange and almost rune-like in appearance, though nothing quite
like Lily had ever seen before. A triangle with a circle inside of it, and a
thin straight line bisecting the center in a vertical slash.
“Sir?” Severus spoke, breaking the silence, Lily and the aged wizard turning to
look at him, “The locket? Also, what was it that you brought to destroy them?”
Clearing his throat and straightening to full height, the aged wizard nodded,
though he continued to glance with obvious intrigue down at the newly revealed
object- The mysterious ring; an object that must have held some importance to
the evilest wizard of recent history. Without speaking a word, Albus Dumbledore
brushed aside the cloak that he wore, revealing a magnificent sword in the
dimness of their surroundings, the hilt studded with glittering crimson rubies-
Dark and almost alive in the darkness of the ruin.
“The sword of Godric Gryffindor?” Lily breathed.
Severus looked from the object held in his former Headmaster’s hands, to the
woman he had loved for as long as he could remember.
“The very same,” Dumbledore nodded, “Legends have told the tale of the courage
possessed by the founder of House Gryffindor- None of them so exhilarating or
impressive as that involving his fight with a Manticore.”
“Exceedingly dangerous,” Severus managed, eyes shifting throughout the space in
obvious unease.
Dumbledore nodded, “A magical creature exceptionally rare, and renowned for its
deadly nature. They are a thing of true legend- Perhaps why the story involving
such an impressive wizard is made all the more famous. They possess a head
somewhat human-like in nature, but that is where it stops… The body of a great
lion, and a scorpion’s tail and stinger make up the rest.”
“Their skin supposedly repels magic,” Severus added, “No one has ever been able
to utilize any spell against them as a means of subduing them.”
Lily was enraptured by their descriptions, though her eyes held deep discomfort
and something resembling dread.
“They are very rare,” the aged wizard continued, “Perhaps only a handful still
in existence to this day; though rarely seen due to their frightening nature.
The sting of the Manticore is known to cause instantaneous death, and they have
been observed throughout history softly crooning to their victims as they
devour them- Bones and all.”
“And Gryffindor killed one?” Lily pressed.
“If the legends are correct,” he nodded, “Godric Gryffindor was a great many
things, but his courage was renowned… Whether or not he truly managed to slay a
Manticore remains to question. Though we will find out momentarily whether true
or false.”
“How?”
“Manticore venom is exceptionally rare; just like the beast from which it
comes. Horcruxes require damage beyond repair, and there are few substances so
caustic in nature to succeed in such a task. As mentioned before, Fiendfyre,
while burning exceptionally hot, has been known to be disastrous when wielded.
It is something I wish to be our last resort, for finding a location safe
enough to attempt such a complex incantation may prove challenging, and I do
not wish for us to burn down all of England as a result of a spell gone awry.
This sword was forged over a thousand years ago by the Goblin silversmiths.”
“Goblin silver is known to imbibe only substances which strengthen it,” Severus
interjected, “It makes it a formidable weapon when wielded against enemies…”
“And it is my belief that the Manticore venom should prove lethal in the
destruction of Horcruxes,” Dumbledore finished.
“Would there be anything stronger?” Lily questioned, still reserved with the
possibility of failure.
“Perhaps only the King of Serpents, the Basilisk,” their former Headmaster
thought aloud, “Though they are suspected to be extinct. No one has seen such a
monster since the sixteenth century.”
“We have to try,” Severus told Lily, though there was a hint of unease in his
eyes.
She nodded, biting her lower lip, knuckles whitening in their tightened grip
upon her wand.
“We must be ready for anything,” Dumbledore warned, “I suspect the locket may
prove our more formidable opponent… I am willing to face it, if you wish.”
“I would be willing to try,” Severus stated.
“As you wish,” Dumbledore nodded, “Then I shall face the ring.”
As if on cue, in a flash of silver, and swirl of his white beard, their former
Headmaster pressed the tip of the ancient relic of House Gryffindor to the onyx
stone with the strange markings. There was an ear-splitting scream, something
primal in its agony, smoke rising from the heirloom before them. With an
audible ‘crack,’ the stone split, though did not entirely break into two
pieces, the cry slowly fading away into nothingness. With tentative motions, he
then bent at the waist, picking up the object with obvious curiosity, and then
slipped the object onto the middle finger of his right hand. Both Lily and
Severus seemed to be holding their breath in anticipation of what might happen,
half suspecting their former Headmaster to die a slow and painful death right
before their eyes from the action of wearing the once cursed object. And yet,
nothing happened.
Nothing at all.
“It would seem that the legends hold some truth,” Albus Dumbledore spoke,
though there was some sense of relief in his own voice, and a hint of surprise
as well.
“How will we open the locket?” Lily asked, “Kreacher said that he tried
everything…”
“Though I do not claim to be proficient in such a disturbing language, I do
have knowledge of a few choice words,” the aged wizard stated, “I suspect
Salazar Slytherin would have put such a precaution in place over something of
his own creation- “
“Parseltongue?” Severus questioned.
Dumbledore nodded, passing the sword to the tall, former Slytherin beside him,
“When you’re ready…”
Lily’s eyes widened, though she attempted to show a calm and fearless façade.
Severus sensed her worry and gave her what he hoped to be something remotely
resembling a reassuring look, despite the own building unease that was bubbling
beneath his own outwardly collected surface. He then turned to Albus Dumbledore
and nodded, his face unreadable.
The hissing sound which emitted from the aged wizard was low, though chilling
in its sound. Something undeniably foreign, and not meant to be spoken by
humans- No matter their origin. The effect was immediate, and at once the
locket clicked open, its golden doors swinging wide. Behind both of the glass
windows within blinked a living eye, dark and handsome. Despite the appearance,
Severus had a strange sensation that he had seen the eyes before- Perhaps the
way the Dark Lord’s eyes, or rather those belonging to Tom Riddle may have once
looked before becoming scarlet and slit-pupiled. Before Severus could react, a
voice hissed out of the Horcrux.
“I have seen your heart, and it is mine.”
“Don’t listen to it!” Lily cried, “Stab it!”
“I have seen your dreams, Severus Snape, and I have seen your fears. All you
desire is possible, but all that you dread is also possible…”
“Stab!” shouted Lily, her voice echoing throughout the confines of the ruined
shack, the sword point wavered slightly, and Severus narrowed his eyes as he
gazed down into the eyes.
“Least loved, never wanted, by the father who preferred liquor… Least loved,
before, by the woman who preferred your rival… Second best, always, eternally
overshadowed…”
“Severus, stab it now!” Dumbledore bellowed.
Severus raised the sword a touch higher, Riddle’s eyes suddenly gleaming
scarlet. Out of the locket’s two windows, out of the eyes, there bloomed, like
two grotesque bubbles, the heads of James Potter and Lily, weirdly distorted.
Sneering in surprise, Severus took a step backwards as the figures blossomed
out of the locket, first chests, then waists, then legs, until they stood in
the locket side by side like trees with a common root, swaying over Severus and
the real Lily.
“Severus!” Dumbledore shouted, but the Riddle-James was now speaking with
Voldemort’s voice, and Severus was gazing with hatred into its face.
“She was better without you, happier without you, glad of your absence… We
laughed at your stupidity, your cowardice, your presumption- “
“Presumption!” echoed the Riddle-Lily, who resembled the Hogwarts-era Lily of
youth, beautiful, and yet more terrible than the real Lily: She swayed,
cackling, before Severus, who looked both horrified and transfixed, the sword
loose at his side. “Who could look at you, who would ever look at you, beside
James Potter? What have you ever done, compared with him? What are you,
compared with a man who has everything?”
“Sev, stab it, STAB IT!” Lily yelled, her voice choked with emotion, “It’s
lying!”
Severus clenched his jaw, the Riddle-James and the Riddle-Lily reflected in his
dark eyes, their hair swirling like flames, their eyes shining red, their
voices lifted in an evil duet.
“Your mother confessed,” sneered Riddle-James, while Riddle-Lily jeered, “That
she would have preferred killing herself than ruining her life with you… Lily
admits- “
“That I prefer James. What woman wouldn’t prefer him, what woman would take
you, you are nothing, nothing, nothing to him,” crooned Riddle-Lily, and she
stretched like a snake and entwined herself around Riddle-James, wrapping him
in a close embrace: Their lips met.
“Do it, Severus!” Dumbledore yelled.
“Sev-?!” Lily sobbed.
The sword flashed, plunged: There was a clang of metal and a long, drawn-out
scream. Albus Dumbledore whirled around, eyes momentarily crazed and ready for
more, but there was nothing left to fight. The monstrous versions of James and
Lily were gone: There was only the three of them remaining, Severus standing
with the sword held in hand, looking down at the shattered remains of the
locket on the ground.
Slowly, Lily went to him, hardly knowing what to say or do. He was breathing
heavily, his eyes softened, a hint of unshed wetness visible. Her own tears had
overflowed, running in trails down her face, but she smiled kindly as she
placed a hand gently upon his cheek. He covered it lightly with his own, the
corners of his mouth twitching only slightly in a secret show that he was
alright. That they had made it through unscathed, and that he loved her still-
This Lily, the true Lily.
Albus Dumbledore stooped, and picked up the broken Horcrux. Severus had pierced
the glass in both windows: Riddle’s eyes were gone, and the stained silk lining
of the locket was smoking slightly. The thing that had lived in the horcrux had
vanished: torturing Severus had been its final act.
The sword clanged as Severus dropped it, he had slipped his arms around Lily,
shaking slightly. Dumbledore slipped the broken locket into his pocket, and
then approached the two lovers, and places a hand cautiously on his shoulder.
“Though late in my admission,” the aged wizard began, “I would be a fool to not
admit that you are twice the man that James Potter ever could have been. I was
wrong in my assertions and defense of him for so long. You are the better man,
Severus Snape. I’m sorry for all the wrongs I have in part been responsible
for, and I hope that with time you will accept my apology.”
“I’m sorry,” Lily cried, her voice thick with emotion, her head pressed into
Severus’ chest, “I’m sorry that I married him. I know I was a- “
Severus silenced her with a kiss, though he said nothing, he knew that she
understood its meaning. Understood that everything was forgiven, and that there
was nothing left to question or remaining unsaid between them.
Chapter End Notes
     I always wished in the film version of Half-Blood Prince that they
     would have included the story of the Gaunts. I think there is just
     something so tragic and emotionally compelling when it comes to
     Merope and Tom Sr. Due to the nature of the horcruxes in this
     installment, I thought it necessary to include my version of her
     backstory, something I always deduced from reading the novel. I did
     make some changes, of course, mainly because I didn't want Tom Sr. to
     seem like a complete monster. Am I alone in seeing some approval in
     her 'bewitching' of Tom in order to find some happiness? I know it's
     wrong, but damn she deserved so much more than that frightful life
     that she was born into. I also wanted to make sure that there were
     past references to the specific objects that were being destroyed, so
     that we understood their origin in some way, while not delving into
     specific details that would have only made sense years later if in
     the canon novel. Hopefully I did all of it justice! :P
     Sev's own ego would lend him to attempt the harder of the two
     Horcruxes, and while mirroring some aspects of what occurred between
     Ron Weasley and the locket, I find it a very fitting interaction for
     Sev to also be privy to.
     Song:
     She_is_like_the_Swallow_-_Lucia_Micarelli_&_Leigh_Nash
***** The Gray Lady *****
Chapter Summary
     With Rowena Ravenclaw's diadem long thought lost, will Lily and
     Severus be able to somehow find a way of tracking down the coveted
     artifact?
Chapter Notes
     There is a portion of this beginning chapter taken directly from the
     brilliant J. K. Rowling in her seventh book, Harry Potter & The
     Deathly Hallows.
See the end of the chapter for more notes
“Remember that it is nothing to do your duty, that is demanded of you and is no
 more meritorious than to wash your hands when they are dirty; the only thing
 that counts is the love of duty; when love and duty are one, then grace is in
      you and you will enjoy a happiness which passes all understanding.”
                             -W. Somerset Maugham
                                   [diadem]
March_of_1981
Sheets in complete disarray, Lily rested her head upon Severus’ chest. One leg
crossed over his, her right hand laying upon his chest, the fingertips
occasionally playing in the light dusting of dark hair that grew there.
Severus’ eyes were closed, his breathing deep, his own fingers tangled in
Lily’s fiery tresses.
“Where do you think the next one is?” she asked him.
“I only have guesses,” he sighed, stretching out and planting a tender kiss to
her forehead.
“Do you think one might be at Hogwarts?”
“Anything’s possible.”
“I was just thinking that the locket can’t be entirely coincidental,” she
continued, chin resting on his chest so that she might actually look him in the
face, “Dumbledore said he was an orphan; that he was the one who retrieved Tom
from the orphanage… I doubt either of them knew the truth of his parentage-
About his descent from Slytherin.”
“It’s strange to call the Dark Lord ‘Tom,’” Severus told her, “Such a simple
name for such a powerful wizard.”
“It’s his name.”
“Was,” he told her pointedly, “From what I know of the man, from all of my
years in his service, and spent at his side, that much is certain. Why change
your name unless something about it proves too horrible to acknowledge? Too
embarrassing to admit? He could have just as easily become ‘Tom Gaunt,’ or ‘Tom
Slytherin,’ to prove the point of his famous relation, and yet he abandoned it
entirely.” He paused, “He once told me that we shared a mutual hatred for our
fathers- That they were unworthy.”
“What do you think that means?” Lily questioned, “That he was ashamed of the
father that he never knew?”
“It’s all speculation,” Severus told her, “But my guess would be that his
father was a Muggle like my own; a disgrace worthy of his contempt. To descend
from the one great founder of Hogwarts who preached the importance of blood-
purity, and then to end up being a half-blood… The precise thing which
Slytherin was trying to avoid when preserving the ancient bloodlines.”
“I just can’t understand it…”
“Insanity isn’t meant for us to comprehend,” he told her gently, “Regardless,
it seems the only home he ever really knew was Hogwarts.”
“Like you,” Lily said all too quickly, slapping a hand over her mouth almost
instantaneously, her eyes apologetic, “I didn’t mean that.”
“You would be right,” he told her, gently kissing the palm of her hand as he
removed it from its place over her mouth, “However, you’re my home now.”
She was touched by his admission, and kissed him tenderly on the lips, the
length of her naked body pressed up against his.
“Perhaps you’re on to something,” he continued, her lips trailing in little
kisses and bites down his neck and chest, “If Hogwarts was his closest thing to
a home, one would only suspect a fascination with all of its secrets, and with
the founders of old- “
Lily’s kisses and attentions had reached below his bellybutton, the heat and
hardening of his cock becoming an impossible distraction to his thoughts.
“I’m listening,” she told him with a coy smile, eyes full of mischief.
“Are you?”
“Mmmhmm…” she nodded, biting her lower lip, the color rising on her cheeks
slightly.
“We should think about their objects- “
As the last word left his mouth, Lily nudged his hardened cock with her nose
before tracing a playful line with her tongue from base to tip. He groaned,
head falling back, his hand fisting instinctively in her hair.
“Could we speak more about their objects once I’m done seeing to yours?” she
smiled.
“I’m yours, Veela.”
===============================================================================
Apart from the locket of Salazar Slytherin and the sword of Godric Gryffindor,
there were just two remaining artifacts belonging to the Hogwarts founders
which remained to be seen. One was the golden chalice of Helga Hufflepuff, the
other the diadem of Rowena Ravenclaw. Both artifacts had disappeared through
time, from all that Severus and Lily could discern, but both remained certain
that looking into the whereabouts of the two objects was something of high
priority in their quest to uncover all of Voldemort’s horcruxes.
“The trail of the goblet seems to run cold after 1961,” Lily told Severus one
evening, “It appears that the last known owner was a witch by the name of
Hepzibah Smith.”
“What do you think happened?”
“It appears that she was murdered, though records from the Ministry state that
it was a crime committed by her House-elf, Hokey, who admitted to poisoning her
Mistress’ evening cocoa.”
“I suspect an altered memory,” Severus stated evenly, “What do you think?”
“I agree,” she nodded, “Regardless, the trail runs cold with her death. My
suspicion would be that You-Know-Who stole the cup from her and kept it for
himself, transforming it into a horcrux in the process.”
“That’ll make things quite tricky with locating it, if that’s the case.”
“Have you found anything on the diadem?”
“’Wit beyond measure is man’s greatest treasure,’” he quipped.
“Is it?” Lily smirked, “I always thought it surrounded things of a more
physical nature.”
Not for all of us,” he chuckled, “But no, I have found less than nothing if
that’s possible. Perhaps it truly is lost… For one thing, it seems to have been
missing since the time of Rowena Ravenclaw’s death.”
“It wasn’t passed down through the family?”
He shook his head, “No. She only had one child, a daughter- Helena Ravenclaw.
History claims that she died shortly before the death of her mother. There are
no details, though she seemed to be young, thus it was rather unexpected and
particularly tragic.”
“Are there any images of them together?” Lily asked out of curiosity.
“Just the one,” he told her, rotating the book he had been studying around so
that she could see.
After some time staring, Lily’s brow furrowed, her eyebrows knitting together
in thought. Then suddenly, her eyes widened in unspoken recognition.
“What is it?”
“I know her- Or at least, I’ve seen her before. And you have too! Sev, it’s the
Gray Lady; the Ravenclaw ghost! We have to talk to her! We must go to
Hogwarts.”
===============================================================================
When Severus and Lily arrived at Hogwarts via the secret passageway in the
Hog’s Head, they found themselves once more greeted by their former Headmaster
in the mysterious room on the seventh floor. It was late in the evening, and
they would be free to wander the many levels undisturbed in their mission. The
room itself, was located across from a tapestry depicting Barnabas the Barmy,
though the entrance seemed to curiously vanish once they exited its confines.
Looking back, one would only see an unblemished stone wall where the door once
stood, though no hint pointing to a means of making it reappear from the
nothingness. Hogwarts was full of its secrets and mysteries, but Lily wondered
just how many students had ever come to stumble upon such a peculiar place. She
wondered if the room’s mysteries had remained a secret to even the Marauders in
their time of attendance.
Explaining their reason for a sudden arrival on school grounds had been
something best clarified in person, though to their mutual surprise, Dumbledore
seemed mildly disappointed in the discovery that they had made.
“I wish you good luck,” the aged wizard had told them, “I’m sure you will find
her quite unhelpful in your questioning.”
“Why do you say that?” Lily had questioned.
“You are not the first to learn of the Gray Lady’s true identity,” he
explained, “Though far less common a discovery in recent decades, there was a
time she found herself mercilessly badgered and hounded at every turn by
students across all four of the Houses- All of the seeking the location of
Rowena Ravenclaw’s lost diadem.”
“But why?”
“According to legend, the diadem is said to enhance the wisdom of the wearer,”
Albus Dumbledore smiled, “I’m sure you both can understand why so many students
might covet such an object.”
“You don’t think she’ll tell us anything then-?” Severus asked.
“To be entirely honest,” the aged man sighed, “I have come to wonder if she
even knows herself. The Gray Lady is known to be evasive and stubborn compared
to the other ghosts- Often she just wishes to be left alone. If you do manage
to discover something of value from her, it is my suspicion that you may become
two of very, very few persons to have ever earned some form of her trust…
Perhaps to have even heard her story.”
“Then there may be some hope,” Lily said more to Severus than their former
Headmaster.
“Perhaps,” Dumbledore shrugged, “Though you must tread carefully.”
“Where do you think we’ll find her?” Severus questioned.
“Often she wanders the corridor leading to the library,” he told them,
“Unfortunately, there is not much more I can offer you apart from that. Please
seek me out before you leave- Whether successful in your quest, or otherwise.”
On their way from Dumbledore’s office, neither Severus or Lily spoke much, both
feeling the unmistakable melancholy that their lead would end up a waste of
valuable time.
But they had to try.
Upon reaching the deserted marble staircase, Lily caught sight of a pearly
white figure drifting across the entrance hall below.
“Nick! NICK! I need to speak with you!”
When they had reached the bottom of the staircase, Lily and Severus found
themselves face-to-face with Nearly Headless Nick, the ghost of Gryffindor
Tower.
“Why, Miss Evans!” he explained, offering her a little flourished bow, “Such a
pleasant surprise to find myself reunited with a Head Girl so deserving of the
honor!”
“Nick, we need your help,” Lily continued, though with a smile, “Have you seen
the Gray Lady? The ghost of Ravenclaw Tower?”
His expression changed to one mixed with both surprise and mild offense, “The
Gray Lady, of course; but if it is ghostly services you require-?”
“It has to be her,” Severus interrupted, “Do you know where she is?”
“Let’s see…” Nick grumbled, his head wobbling some on his ruff as he turned
around, “That’s her over there; the young woman with the long hair.”
Both Lily and Severus looked in the direction of Nick’s transparent pointing
finger and saw a tall ghost who immediately caught sight of the three of them
staring at her. She raised her eyebrows in an unreadable expression, and then
drifted away through a solid wall. Without hesitation, Lily and Severus raced
after her. Once through the door of the corridor into which she had
disappeared, they saw her at the very end of the passage, still gliding
smoothly away from them.
“Wait!” Lily called to her, “Please come back!”
She consented to pause, floating a few inches from the ground. She was
beautiful, with waist-length hair and an intricately embroidered floor-length
cloak, but she also looked haughty and proud. As they came closer, they both
recognized her from their tenure at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry,
though neither had spoken to her previously.
“You’re the Gray Lady?” Lily questioned, slightly breathless.
She nodded, but did not speak.
“The ghost of Ravenclaw Tower?”
“That is correct.”
Her tone was not encouraging.
“Please: We need your help. We need to know anything you can tell us about the
lost diadem.”
A cold smile curved her lips as she turned to leave, “I am afraid that I cannot
help you.”
“WAIT!” Lily shouted, desperate to not lose the ghost now that they had found
her, “Please…”
“This is urgent, Helena,” Severus stated with seriousness, stepping past Lily
and towards the ghostly woman, “We have reason to believe that the diadem may
have come back to Hogwarts… We have to find it.”
“How did you-?” she managed, eyes narrowing some, her voice obvious perplexed
by his knowledge of her identity, “You are hardly the first to covet the
diadem,” she said disdainfully, “Generations of students have sought the
object; pestered and harassed me to no end- “
“This isn’t about using it,” Lily interrupted, “It’s about the Dark Lord-
Defeating the Dark Lord.”
“He defiled it!” she spat, “Vowed he would destroy it, and rid the world of its
abhorrent abilities for good, but he lied to me! LIED TO ME!”
They were on the right track then. Both Severus and Lily looked at each other
in stunned silence, for a moment, keenly aware that they had the Gray Lady’s
full attention. It was Severus who broke the silence that had briefly fallen
between them.
“Help us.”
“It- It is not a question of- “ she stammered, “My mother’s diadem- “
“Then it’s true?” Lily questioned, “You are Helena Ravenclaw?”
The ghost looked angry with herself, “When I lived, that was my name. While the
diadem bestows wisdom, I doubt that it would greatly increase your chances of
defeating that loathsome creature- “
“Once located,” Severus interrupted, “We will do what he did not. I vow that we
will destroy the properties of the diadem, if that is your wish.”
“Helena, you must help us,” Lily begged.
“And what for?” the ghostly woman spat, “How dare either of you presume that I
must do anything for you- You who were never even in my House! Neither of you
ever approached me before this precise moment, when there was something that
you wanted to fuel your quest.”
“We haven’t much time,” Severus repeated with urgency.
“Perhaps not,” Helena quipped, “I, however, have eternity… For nearly a
thousand years I have been left in this purgatory- Endlessly wandering this
castle and the grounds. Everywhere I turn I see her; there is no escaping the
memory of her, nor the fate easily changed when reversing my prior mistakes.”
“What mistakes?” Lily asked.
“The laugh which emanated from her was pure bitterness as she turned to look
upon Severus, “You. You were sorted into Slytherin, yes?”
He glanced to Lily and then nodded, his eyes reflecting both curiosity and
suspicion at her question.
“Then you have seen him, “ she said quietly, “Though here has scarcely been a
student who ever asked the Baron why he wears blood-stained robes… Why he
carries heavy chains in penance for the sins he has committed.”
Lily covered her mouth with her hand, eyes wide with the realization.
“He killed you,” Severus managed.
“Very astute, Mister Snape,” Helena frowned.
“And yet there was more to it than just that…”
Severus and Lily spun around at the sound of the low and raspy whisper to see a
second ghost had now joined them; the Bloody Baron floated cautiously a short
distance away, the silvery bloodstains unmistakable upon his ethereal garb. The
ghost of Slytherin House had always been somewhat illusive and silent in his
haunting- Never speaking much, and often more startling than the more
approachable spirits at Hogwarts. When not in the dungeons, he often took to
the Astronomy Tower, rattling his chains and moaning loudly in true ghostly
form. Rarely did he ever join his fellow spirits, seemingly preferring his own
solitude.
“Baron-?” Helena managed, clearly caught off-guard by his sudden presence.
“I do not deny my crime,” he continued, “Even a thousand years fails to
adequately give Helena justice for what I did… I will spend eternity trying- A
fate I know I deserve. Yet our end is not the beginning- For this is the place
where it all began.”
“No,” Helena sighed, “No, our deaths were some time later… Brought about by my
own failures; my lack of brilliance and thorough thoughtfulness.”
“Helena- “ the Bloody Baron protested.
“Ravenclaw was my curse,” she said with true sorrow, the words each enunciated
with dislike, “I hated her for my childhood and my pain… Brought up alone, in
the company of strangers all because her own brilliance was always more
important- Her renown made her seek challenges and postings; escapes from
motherhood and a daughter deeply introverted and insecure. While building this
very school with the other founders, she chose to leave me behind… But not
without adding crippling expectations along the way.”
“She loved you…” the Baron offered.
“Loved me like you did?” she questioned, the bitter-sad laugh echoing through
the deserted corridor once more.
Neither Lily or Severus were certain of how best to proceed, so elected to
remain silent as they continued to observe the two ghosts and the interaction
that was taking place.
“Even by the time I came to Hogwarts, I dreaded being sorted into the House
that had been founded by my mother,” Helena continued, “Helga Hufflepuff had
only just placed the tattered hat of my godfather upon my head when my mother
quickly snatched it away. She pointed me over to the table draped in blue and
bronze… I had wanted any other House as a means to define myself; to seek my
independence away from her and the never-ending comparisons. If my mother had
known a thing about me- Truly cared about me, she wouldn’t have forced such
stresses. No one deserved such a fate! Thus, I fell into misery.”
“Surely she would have helped you…” Lily tried.
“Helped me? Helped me?!” Helena repeated, incredulously, “She wondered what was
wrong with me! For the life of her it was incomprehensible why her own flesh
and blood did not possess the same ease and natural talent that she did! Try
harder! Practice more! You must not be studying enough! I was to always
remember that I was her legacy- The only surviving child of one of the greatest
witches of her generation. For me to fail meant that it would reflect poorly
upon her… Failure was never something in my mother’s vocabulary, nor something
I believe her capable of understanding.” She paused for a long moment before
continuing, “I was alone most of my time here… Something I grew used to, always
having felt overwhelming insecurity thanks to the stresses of my studies. Never
smart enough; never pretty enough either.”
“You have always been all of those things and more,” the Bloody Baron stated
quietly, “If only you listened…”
“’If only,’ seems to be my fate,” she sighed, “Why else would I find myself
forced to remain in this un-whole form; left to wander these halls with fools
like the Friar and Nicholas de Mimsy-Porpington?” after another short pause,
“The cruelest fate of all, forced to look upon my murderer- You.”
“I have always loved you,” he told her sadly, “It was my own foolishness and
temper that was my undoing.”
The Gray Lady turned to Severus and Lily, “You want the diadem? My mother’s
true legacy?”
“They want to help- “ the Baron began.
“Help me as you did?!” she shrieked, “The shame is my own to bear! It was I who
stole my mother’s crown- I who only wished that its abilities could somehow
make me share in her uncanny brilliance- To somehow make her proud of me!”
“So you ran away?” Lily asked.
“I slipped into her chambers while she was sleeping and removed it without a
sound. I was sixteen. Still I knew right from wrong and the magnitude of my
crime. Staying would’ve meant eventually being caught, and the look of shame
and disappointment from my mother was not something I wished to face. She was
no fool, and there was no doubt in my mind that she would quickly realize that
the source of such treachery could only be traced back to me. I fled into the
night without looking back.”
“Where did you go?” Severus questioned.
“Albania,” she said almost dreamily in reply, “With only the diadem and barely
anything else… Though it didn’t keep my mother from tracking me down or sending
the Baron to bring me back.”
“She was dying,” the male ghost explained, turning to her, “Helena, you know
she regretted everything that had transpired between you! She only wished to
see you one last time.”
“Which we both clearly failed at,” she frowned.
“Rowena sent the Baron to find you?” Lily pressed.
“She knew to send a man who had long loved me. She knew that he would not rest
until he had found me.”
“You-?”
The Baron nodded, “Rowena was fatally ill. I tracked Helena to the forest where
she was hiding, though she refused to return with me. She refused me as she had
refused me all through our time at Hogwarts.”
“Which was mainly from my desperation to stay away,” Helena said sadly, “I said
things that I didn’t mean, and he became violent. He was furious at my
rejection- My refusal. He was jealous of my freedom and he stabbed me.”
Staring down at his own translucent feet, the Bloody Baron nodded, “I killed
her. The only woman I ever loved… I killed her.”
The Gray Lady lifted aside the cloak she wore to reveal a single dark wound in
her white chest.
“I held her in my arms as she faded away- “ the Baron managed, though voice
choked with emotion.
“When he saw what he had done, he was overcome with remorse,” Helena stated,
“The only comfort I felt as I passed to the other side was the lingering warmth
of his embrace… I wished that I wouldn’t have acted upon my anger at my mother,
that I could have told him I would have gladly stayed hidden forever at his
side.” She paused, and the Baron met her eyes with ghostly surprise all his
own, clearly never having heard her admission until that moment in time, “He
took the weapon that had claimed my life, and used it to kill himself.”
Neither Lily or Severus knew what to say.
“My mother’s diadem remained where I had hidden it when I realized that the
Baron had found me,” she continued quietly, “Concealed inside a hollow tree.”
“A hollow tree?” Severus questioned, “What tree?”
“Lost to time in Albania,” the Baron stated, eyes glued to the ghostly woman
who continued to hold his heart.
“A lonely place I had thought was far beyond my mother’s reach,” Helena added,
“I had thought Tom Riddle would destroy it- End the suffering that the diadem
had brought to all who wore it.”
“You told him?” Lily asked.
She closed her eyes and nodded.
“Helena?” the Baron managed, “Tom? The Head Boy from my House? The Dark Lord?”
“I had… No idea… He was… Flattering,” she tried to explain, “He seemed to… To
understand… To sympathize…”
“So he retrieved it,” Severus stated, “He must have stowed it when he came
seeking the post from Defense Against the Dark Arts.”
“There is a room that appears when you need it,” the Baron interjected
suddenly, “Though remains hidden away and unseen… Most never learn of its
existence. On that day he came back, I recall seeing Tom upon the seventh
floor… He was changed beyond recognition; no longer the handsome lad who had
been brilliant beyond his years. Yet he continued to carry himself in much the
same manner I had long recognized as being uniquely him, a satchel hanging from
one shoulder, and that diary he always carried with him during his time here at
Hogwarts… I found it curious that he would still possess such an object after
so long a time. Speak to Dumbledore. He may be able to help you find that very
same room.”
For a brief moment, Lily and Severus locked eyes with each other in mutual
knowledge of the odd room that they had entered the castle through on two
occasions. Voldemort must have known of its existence, though in a different
form than what they had seen. But how? With the knowledge that they had
received, the pair raced away from the two ghosts. As they rounded the corner,
it seemed as though the Bloody Baron and Gray Lady may have come to a new
understanding- The mutual telling of their story having somehow healed part of
the horrors of their distant past. Both Lily and Severus would later recall the
image of them embracing, before fading completely from sight.
                                      ***
“I’m amazed that you learned so much,” Dumbledore told them, his fingers
interlaced as he sat behind his desk enraptured by the tale they had relayed to
him, “Your suspicions appear to have been correct as well- The Bloody Baron
having witnessed Tom outside of the Room of Requirement is quite the lead.”
“Room of Requirement, sir?” Severus questioned, “Is that what it’s called?”
The aged wizard paused for a moment before speaking, “It is a mysterious room
of unknown origin. To what end the founders of our school constructed such a
location remains lost to time and space, though it has been present for as long
as anyone can remember. I only learned of its existence after becoming
Headmaster- Armando Dippet left instructions as to its location and how to
access it in his succession notes. The passage created between it and the Hog’s
Head Inn was a later addition that came to fruition by Aberforth and myself. It
seemed a necessary exit in case of emergency situations, and a safe-room for
those seeking asylum. The true purpose of such a place escapes me completely,
though it has seen its uses…”
“Does it always take that form?” Lily asked.
“Ah, the true puzzling detail!” he smiled, blue eyes twinkling behind his half-
moon spectacles, “It appears to transform itself into whatever the individual
needs it to be when seeking it. An amazing bit of magic that I have never seen
before, nor do I ever have hopes of recreating, it would seem. There are some
limitations, of course, though the fascinating aspect of it remains the
remarkable degree of sentience it seems to possess.”
“How does one make it appear?” Severus inquired.
“You must walk past it three times while thinking about precisely what it is
that you need. Only then will the door appear.”
“How will we know what to ask it for?” Lily sighed, “It could be anything!”
“True,” Dumbledore told her, “Though it may be far simpler an endeavor than you
think.”
Lily stared at him with confusion, but it was Severus who spoke, half to
himself, half to his counterparts.
“A hiding place for an item of immense value; the Room of Hidden Things.”
Albus Dumbledore accompanied the pair back the seventh floor and into the
mysterious room once Severus had made the door appear. His gut-instinct had
told him that they may need an extra set of hands in finding the diadem- If it
was in fact it which was hidden inside. Their likelihood of discovering
anything was not particularly in their favor, though it was certainly worth a
look. Vanquishing the Dark Lord was their top priority, and they could not
afford to leave any stone unturned. Besides that, he had brought with him the
sword of Godric Gryffindor, an object they knew capable of destroying the
immensely evil objects that they sought to destroy. Entering the space was at
once completely different than on the prior occasions that they had found the
space. There were mountains upon mountains of junk and other objects piled high
to the ceiling and consisting of all types of objects one could imagine.
Towers of broken and damaged furniture- Desks and chairs, cabinets and trunks.
Some crumbling with age, most covered in thick layers of dust. Books here,
there, and everywhere. Left in piles, stacked on forgotten furniture, remaining
in ancient bookshelves. Some of them were text books, some in languages
perplexing to the passerby. The farther in they went, they split down different
pathways that had been carved through the debris, eyes looking about for any
hint of the object they sought. At the far end of the room Lily spotted a
catapult, startling suddenly as she heard crunching beneath her feet. Looking
down to the stone floor she noticed what appeared to be pieces of long-hatched
dragon eggs littering her pathway. Along their former Headmaster’s path, an
enormous stuffed troll- Poorly done taxidermy revealing stuffing in places.
Farther in still, several rusting swords and a heavy bloodstained axe. Severus
breathed in the smell of dust and decay- Recognizing most of his surroundings
as items of refuse, and wondering why they had come to be stored in such a
place, rather than being discarded, as seemed the far better option. A few
heavy broomsticks that looked to be a few hundred years old, cages piled
haphazardly- One holding a skeleton of a five-legged creature within that he
could not easily identify. Various chipped bottles with congealed potions, and
strange corked bottles holding oddly shimmering fluid he suspected of
malevolent origin.
The three paths intersected at a strange little hollow near the center of the
room, the space filled with much the same junk that they had already come to
pass in their wanderings, though a large and forbidding cabinet dominated the
space, strange runes carved into its face, though seemingly constructed of
common wood. Lily shivered in its proximity, not knowing its true purpose,
though suspecting that it could not be related to anything good. On the ground
before it was a pile of old hats and costume jewelry, mothballed cloaks left in
balled up disarray. Upon a charred table lay a few stray dominoes and a
frightful looking mask that appeared to be a cross between a goblin and
acromantula. Beside that was a blistered old cupboard topped with a hideous
pockmarked stone warlock wearing a dingy old wig. The light shone just so in
that moment, all three pairs of eyes catching upon the gleam: An ancient,
discolored tiara.
“Do you think that’s it?” Lily whispered.
“I sense very old magic,” Dumbledore remarked, “And something frighteningly
evil beneath the surface.”
“Give me a boost?” Lily questioned, turning to Severus.
He nodded, kneeling down and interlacing his fingers so that she might place
her foot upon the strengthened surface. He hoisted her up effortlessly, and she
reached for the object in question. She wavered, instead removing the wig from
the statue, tiara still attached, and then having Severus lower her further to
the ground. She placed the dusty bundle upon the nearby table, all three
staring at the mysterious diadem, long thought permanently lost.
Wit beyond measure is man’s greatest treasure.
Though difficult to read through all of the dirt and dust, the engraving was as
clear as day, the image mirroring that of what books and portraits had long
depicted the brilliant founder of Ravenclaw House wearing.
“What now?” Severus asked, his voice also low through the cathedral-like space.
“I believe that it is Lily’s turn,” Dumbledore stated, passing the sword to the
former Head Girl, “It would be unfair for you and I to take all of the pleasure
from destroying the Dark Lord’s horcruxes, and never allowing Lily an
opportunity to remove one herself.”
“I- Umm…” Lily protested, the sword of her House founder feeling very heavy in
her hands, “Are you sure?”
“If you would rather not, either myself or Mister Snape will do the honors,”
Dumbledore said kindly, “However, it was you who suspected that there was a
horcrux hidden within Hogwarts, and it seems only fitting for you to remove it-
If you would like.”
“Only if you want,” Severus nodded, his eyes soft with affection.
Lily nodded, taking a deep breath, and then struck the egg-sized sapphire with
the tip of the blade. There was no ear-splitting shriek as with the ring, no
strange vision as with the locket. For a moment she wondered if she had even
managed to do anything, or if in her own nervousness she had somehow missed the
mark completely. Upon closer examination, the metal itself seemed to be
crumbling, a bloodlike substance leaking from the once precious stones that had
adorned the object of renown legend. It was dark and tarry, the object rattling
with inner torment, the vibration causing it to move of its own accord across
the tabletop it had come to rest upon. When it fell to the floor it shattered
further, a distant scream finally audible from the relic as the horcrux and
diadem alike perished into nothingness.
Chapter End Notes
     You will find that Helena Ravenclaw's story is somewhat different in
     my version, as well as her relationship with the Bloody Baron.
     They've had nearly 1000 years to come to some type of understanding,
     and I feel that the way I left them gave some essence of hope for
     forgiveness.
     As I'm sure most of you are seeing, these last chapters are being
     themed along the lines of the remaining horcruxes, leading up to our
     ending. I have been allowing (as I usually do), for my creativity to
     dictate the lengths of the chapters as I write.
     I hope that everyone is still enjoying the story, I do apologize for
     the increase in some more disturbing content, though I find it
     necessary when describing the backstory and painting the picture of
     what I believe may have happened.
     Only a few more to go! ♡
     Song:
     Hide_&_Seek_-_Imogen_Heap
***** The Diary *****
Chapter Summary
     Severus finds himself once more venturing into the belly of the
     beast.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
        “It is hopelessness even more than pain that crushes the soul.”
                                -William Styron
                                    [diary]

May_of_1981
When Severus Snape awoke from his slumber, he was sitting straight up in bed, a
thin sheen of cold sweat clinging to his body. The bedside lamp flickered to
life at once, and Lily turned to him, gently placing her hands upon his clammy
skin, her green eyes filled with concern.
“I’m alright,” he breathed, fingertips finding hers and interlacing gently; he
repeated himself.
“A nightmare?”
He fell back against the pillows, hand brushing away the dark strands of hair
clinging to his brow, “They’ve become more frequent since we began destroying
his horcruxes.”
“Your mark?”
He rolled his forearm so that she could see it, the skin red and inflamed
beneath the branded mark- The sign of continued disregard for the summons to
the side of his once Master.
“He must know- “
“Of that I am certain,” Severus said with conviction, staring up at the
ceiling, “My betrayal would have been most unexpected; I am positive that he
has been hunting me. I’m sure that he will haunt me until one of us is greeted
by death.”
“Do you see him in your dreams?”
“Sometimes,” he shrugged, “They vary in darkness and morbidity. However, this
one was not without assistance to our cause either.”
“What do you mean?”
“Though seemingly insignificant at the time, I recently recalled something that
the Bloody Baron said when we sought the diadem of Rowena Ravenclaw at
Hogwarts,” he paused briefly, “When seen upon the seventh floor, the Baron
mentioned having recalled him ‘changed beyond recognition,’ though oddly in
possession of a ‘diary he always carried with him during his time at Hogwarts.’
Though normally not something I would consider of necessary value, the ghost
stated that even he ‘found it curious that he would still possess such an
object after so long a time.’ I’m uncertain as to whether or not the Bloody
Baron thought the information important or otherwise- Maybe just coincidental
in his recalling of the moment. However, it stuck out to me in that moment, and
has since that fateful encounter; I believe that I may finally realize why.”
Lily stared at him waiting.
“If I were to recall each of the oddities that occurred during my time in
service to the Dark Lord, we would find ourselves wrinkled with age,” he
continued, “And yet, I distinctly recall the presence of a strange book- Always
kept close at hand for a number of years. It was bound in brown leather, the
corners capped with brass ornamentation- Something making it distinct in its
appearance, rather than seeming to be just a favored old book. I do not
remember him ever opening it, so as to the innermost contents I have no idea…
It would be a fascinating prospect to learn the workings and thoughts present
to such a wizard!” seeing Lily’s concerned expression, the frown growing upon
her lips, he sat up, his hands upon her shoulders, “I do not mean as a means to
follow in his footsteps, or to continue his cause… I refer to the psychological
reasoning that led for such a person to transform into what the Dark Lord has
become.”
“But such a book exists?” she questioned.
“I am certain of it,” he told her, “And if the Baron was correct in his
remembrance of the events of that fateful day, I would not be surprised if that
book is too a horcrux.”
“How many more can there be?!” she sighed.
“I have no idea,” Severus answered her gently, “Dumbledore has yet to reveal
how we will know when they have all been destroyed- If he even knows the answer
himself. They are such a rarity… A deeply evil rarity. But how many times can
the soul survive such fractures? Such stresses placed upon something so pure
and fragile as the soul, could only be disastrous in extreme usage. We cannot
assume that the Dark Lord made a horcrux every time he took a life… If that
were the case, we would be endlessly searching until the end of our days.”
“But the cup-?” Lily questioned.
“I don’t doubt that it is also one,” he told her, “With the locket and diadem
proven in their destruction, and the mysterious circumstances surrounding the
death of Hepzibah Smith, I am almost certain of it. But we have no leads as to
its whereabouts.”
“And this diary?”
“I know where to find it.”
Lily stared at him for a long moment, her green eyes glued to his dark ones.
Though her face remained emotionless, her eyebrows even, her soft pink lips
straight, there was something strangely unreadable in her eyes- Eyes that often
revealed so much as to her innermost thoughts and desires.
“What is it?” he asked her, hands ghosting over hers, and moving in a gentle
sweeping motion up her arms.
“I can’t lose you.”
Her words were spoken unwaveringly, though there was the hint of emotion behind
them- Deep sadness and fear.
He raised his hands to her face, placing one upon each cheek, his eyes
searching hers, “You won’t lose me, Lily.”
“You don’t know that, Sev!” she gasped, the tears springing forth from her
eyes, “Damn it, neither of us know that! I’m trying to be strong, I’m trying to
have faith that we will make it through all of this alive… That we can finally
be together and be happy, but I feel like every time there’s a possibility of
happiness for us, something else gets in the way. It’s as though the world is
out to end us, to keep us forever apart, and I can’t- I won’t let it happen!”
she cried, shaking her head, voice a quavering whisper, “I can’t lose you… I
can’t.”
He brought her to his chest in a tight embrace, his hands holding her close,
lips kissing her hair, her forehead, brushing the tears from her face, “I love
you, you know that?”
She nodded, coughing on a sad laugh, her arms moving around his neck.
“You will not lose me,” he told her softly, “No matter what happens, you will
never be without me. I have spent far too long separated from you to ever allow
something like that to happen again… But you know as well as I that we must do
this- I must do this. It is my penance for the darkness I once allowed to
consume me; my chance to repair the chaos and damage- The evil that I helped
him create.”
“I love you,” she whispered, moving away just far enough so that she could
again look into his eyes.
He kissed her, “I don’t deserve you, I never have. Lily, you are my dreams made
reality; the reason why my heart still continues to beat. You brought be forth
from the darkness when I had believed my own soul to be too far gone to
salvage. You have shown me the way into the light and given me a new reason to
live- To crave my future and the life that is possible for me to live,” a
sparkle of emotion appeared in his eyes as he told her with utmost sincerity,
“You saved me.”
The pang of realization brought about a fresh wave of fear, “You’re going
alone, aren’t you?”
“I must.”
“And you’ll come back to me?”
He smiled, “You weren’t the only one gifted when it came to magic… I have a few
tricks you’ve yet to see.”
She shoved him gently, though laughed in spite of her own tears when he pulled
he close again, pressing a kiss to the pulse upon her neck.
“When all of this is over, Lily Evans, our life will truly begin,” he promised
her, “The world will be ours, and I’ll make you my wife- If you’ll have me,”
she kissed him at his promise, but he broke free of her lips, continuing,
“We’ll walk along that beach outside, our children playing in the sand and
splashing in the water- “
She placed her hands upon his face, lips colliding with his, silencing him
further. The stubble on his face was rough, her chin already rubbed raw from
the desperate kisses she sought. The blankets slipped down from her shoulders,
and she moved onto his lap, straddling him. His hands moved around her, hands
clinging to the satin fabric of her nightdress, clutching it with equal need as
her fingers moved through his jet-black hair. Lily broke their kiss for a
moment, her eyes meeting his, pupils blown wide with an unspoken heat, lifting
her arms above her head in a reach towards the ceiling. He wrenched the garment
up, tossing it to the wooden floorboards as it crested the crown of her fiery
auburn locks. The moonlight filtering through the sheer curtains mixed with the
glow of the bedside lamp set her fair skin aglow. His hands rested upon her
shoulders, though slowly moved down the front of her arms, eyes meeting hers
briefly, as he slid them inward to cup her breasts, lips planting a tender kiss
to the center of her chest. Her nipples puckered at his touch, already
sensitive in the chill of the night air. He moved his hands to her sides,
following the curve of her form, until they came to rest on the flair of her
hips. Her kiss was crushing in its desperation, and within moments he had risen
on his knees slightly, Lily’s arms moving around his neck to keep her purchase,
as he slipped his boxer briefs down from his waist and threw them to the floor.
“Never let go,” she whispered to him, goosebumps prickling upon his arms, the
hair rising on the back of his neck at the feel of her breath on his naked
skin.
He pressed a kiss to the place where her neck and shoulder met, inhaling the
scent of her, relishing the feel of her skin beneath his fingertips, and the
silken glide of her hair. She gasped at the feel of him beneath her, hard and
warm. Softly, she trailed her hand down the front of him, fingers lightly
moving along the lines of muscle, scars, and through the dark and wiry hair.
She slipped the hand between her legs, rising slightly on the balls of her feet
as she grasped his cock, the tip already leaking his pleasure at having her so
close. She rubbed his blunt head along her slit, her own desire mingling with
his, and causing a groan to emit from deep within his chest. He leaned back
from her, right arm bracing himself upon the bed, his left hand holding firm to
her waist and the small of her back. She was a vision of loveliness, and for
the briefest of moments he forgot to breathe at the very sight of her. Curls
cascading down her shoulders and arms, her green eyes focused upon him, and him
alone. There was no one else in that moment- No one more important in the whole
of the world besides the two of them. He smirked at the redness around her
mouth, skin rubbed raw from his unshaven stubble, her lips already swelling
from the intensity of their kisses.
“I love you.”
She paused for a moment, his cock pressed to her entrance, “There is no one
else in this world who can make me feel as you do,” she told him, “No one else
who knows me the way you do- Makes me feel whole. A lifetime with you will
never be long enough for me to show you just how much you mean to me… How much
you have changed my life for the better.”
“You gave me hope when I thought all was lost,” he confided, suddenly aware of
the magnitude of his decision to track the diary; of the real possibility, that
he would not make it back to her alive.
“Hope remains,” she whispered, leaning close to him, her lips ghosting over
his.
He circled his left arm around her tighter, relishing in her embrace, her kiss,
as though it was his very strength, his very life-force meant to carry him
through the danger that lay in waiting. He rolled her beneath him in one swift
motion, pressing tender kisses down the line of her jaw, neck, and chest. She
bit her lower lip, eyes closing to his attentions, hands moving up to tangle in
her hair. Reaching between them, he guided himself into her depths, sheathing
himself fully between her thighs. They made love as though it would be their
last time- Equal parts tenderness and desperation in their ardor. Though
neither would dare admit the truth of it, it was their goodbye to one another-
Their sweetest goodbye.
===============================================================================
It had been nearly seven months since the events on All Hallow’s Eve. Whether
or not Voldemort and the Death Eaters truly knew that Severus and Lily had
survived the horrific encounter, remained to be seen. Albus Dumbledore had been
exceedingly protective of the pair since discovering them within the Forest of
Dean, his offering of the cottage by the sea a perfect and secluded hiding
place. Among the members of the Order of the Phoenix, only a select group knew
of their survival, those individuals sworn to secrecy, and loyal to their
deaths. Upon his last interaction with Lucius Malfoy, Severus had removed all
memories pertaining to their encounter; it had been a necessary precaution when
deciding to go rogue. Yet, he knew that his old Master was no fool- One does
not become the greatest and darkest wizard of all time from believing
everything at face value. Though things had remained quiet, he was certain that
the Dark Lord was keenly aware of the betrayal, and biding his time like his
frightening pet snake Nagini… Waiting for the perfect and opportune moment to
strike.
He had not informed Dumbledore of his decision to embark on his own; something
he had been certain that his former Headmaster would object strongly to. But he
had his reasoning, and bidding Lily farewell had been one of the hardest
decisions that he had ever made. As he exited the cottage that had quickly
become their home- A place they could envision their future life together, he
turned to face her one last time. She was trying desperately to remain strong,
and for that he was grateful; seeing her cry would be just another reason-
Another excuse for staying. He had to do this. And still, as he offered her one
last smile, he found himself breathless as she raced up the pathway and flung
herself into his arms. When he pulled away, he was surprised to find her
stunning green eyes dry- She was strong, she would persevere.
With a distinctive ‘pop,’ he Aparated into the unknown, praying silently that
he would return to her as he had promised.
Severus had elected to keep his plans secret from even Lily in plotting his
actions in regards to the supposed horcrux that he sought. To be fair, most of
it was yet unknown to even himself. He had no way of knowing where Voldemort
and the Death Eaters were, or how they were continuing in their dark and evil
plans. The one clue he could go on was his old friend and link to the cause:
Lucius Malfoy. Finding the egotistical wizard was not something that he was
concerned with, but managing to get him to listen and reveal what it was that
he needed to know was another matter entirely. On top of all that, he was
determined to also remain unseen and ghostlike in his wanders for his own
safety. He had been a lieutenant, and his methods of secrecy and spying had
been renowned within the ranks of the Dark Lord’s army at the time. But
managing to get himself alone with the last remaining official in Voldemort’s
inner circle would no doubt, prove both cumbersome and troubling. Both the
Ministry and the Malfoy Manor were out when it came to options, both being far
too visible, as well as watched by both sides at war. He would have to
discretely stalk the tall and silvery-blonde wizard; map his movements, and
discover the perfect moment to steal him away. Undoubtedly, there would be much
for both of them to share when the moment was right.
It had taken far less time than Severus had expected, but tailing Lucius Malfoy
had eventually paid off. It had been after leaving the Ministry of Magic one
afternoon that he had finally had his chance. Much to his surprise, the Pure-
blood had taken and alternate route in his wanderings, slipping down a side
alley, and out of sight from passerby. Keeping to the rooftops and shadows,
Severus had followed him, slipping invisible and silently into earshot of his
once Hogwarts Prefect. The transformation which hacd come over his once close
friend had been startling in its magnitude. He was gaunt and thin, clearly
stressed from more than just the usual business at the office.
“Has the absence been welcomed?” a voice questioned the silvery-blonde man.
Lucius had his wand drawn as a means of response, rather than speaking. Moments
later a second figure emerged from the shadows of the alley.
“Rosier?” Lucius questioned, “What are you doing here?”
“Dark Lord wanted to make sure that you knew that Wilkes and I had seen him
through to Little Hangleton,” the man explained, “Said he was in the mood for
country air… Mentioned something about his desire to visit the home of his
father.”
“It has been a shame to see him go, though I can understand the want for a
change in scenery,” Lucius sneered, “Thank you for informing me.”
Evan Rosier nodded, “We’ll send word when everything’s settled. You should see
the place! Dumpy and ancient as all get-out, but there’s a certain character to
it…”
“Careful,” Lucius warned, “You’ll do well to keep such observations to yourself
in his presence.”
“Of course, lieutenant,” the wizard agreed, “Good day.”
The two had Aparated in quick procession, the sound of their departure from the
narrow space made all the louder. But Severus had learned something of immense
importance, and if he wanted to act upon the information garnered, he knew that
he would need to do so quickly.
                                      ***
Upon his arrival to the Malfoy Manor, he found the place decidedly different.
It was silent- Oddly quiet for a place that had once been the sprawling
headquarters for the army and innermost workings of Voldemort’s dark scheme. He
had come under the cover of darkness, though that had not assisted him much
when it came to observing the exterior of the mansion. Few lights were lit
within, leaving an increased feeling of dread crawling over him. Had he been
wrong in his suspicion to return to such a place? Had Malfoy been aware of his
presence during his time of following the former Prefect? Had he been tipped
off to the other members of the Dark Lord’s army- Perhaps even to the Dark Lord
himself?
There was only one way to find out.
The House-elf that had greeted him at the front door had been terrified,
disappearing into the shadows as he entered the grand and ancient house.
Slipping through the shadowy interior, Severus made his way to the room that
once been occupied by the Dark Lord himself, finding it transformed into
something resembling its former purpose upon entrance.
“Dobby, who was it?” Lucius questioned, his back to the doorway.
Severus paused, curious as to the question, though figuring that it must be the
name of the House-elf that had answered his knock upon the door. Bursting in
would have been a simple solution, though hardly the polite option, or one
rendering his sudden reappearance as a surprise that might buy him some time to
question his once friend.
“Damn it, elf!” Lucius spat, rising from the high-backed chair, “Are you as
useless as you appear or- “
His words died upon the appearance of the hooded figure that stood poised
behind him, wand at the ready.
“Who-? How did you get in here?” the silvery-blonde wizard managed, attempting
to cover his surprise with a tone of malice that scarcely held any effect,
“Where is my House-elf?”
Rather than responding to his questions, Severus slowly made his way towards
the man, his own sudden anger becoming overwhelming when finally faced with a
former colleague from the inner circle of Voldemort. Though he had seemed
oblivious on the night of All Hallow’s Eve, Severus could not help but wonder
if Lucius had held any part in the attack that had occurred in Godric’s Hollow.
He had seemed unaware when questioned under threat of true death, though
Severus had seen it all before. The demons he had managed to hold at bay for so
long a time were suddenly bubbling with a ferocious intensity beneath his
chilling façade, and he wondered if even he would be capable of keeping them in
check when faced with this creature of the Dark Lord- This painful reminder of
the man he had once been when blindly following Voldemort’s plans.
Lucius stumbled in his attempt to place some distance between himself and the
unknown figure, his wand held uneasily in one trembling hand.
A flick of his wand and an unspoken ‘Expelliarmus’ was all that it took to
disarm his fellow lieutenant, the richly finished dark elm flying through the
air, the silver snake-headed handle glinting in the lowlight of the room. He
caught it effortlessly, slipping the sophisticated object into the inner pocket
of his cloak as he continued in his approach.
The expression upon the former Slytherin Prefect’s face was one of dread and
masked fear, though plainly present to one who knew him so well, “What do you
want?”
Another flick of his wand, and this time, the silent muttering of ‘Levicorpus’
brought about the effects of one of his trademark jinxes. Lucius Malfoy found
himself hoisted into the air by his ankle, arms waving about madly for
purchase, though finding nothing within arm’s reach to help right him. Instead
he writhed in a frenzied rage, the blood rushing to his head with every moment
he remained upside down.
“You bastard!” he seethed, “Do you know who I am?! How dare you!”
Severus approached to the outskirts of the silvery-blonde man’s reach,
crouching down before him, and casually removed the cloak that concealed his
face from view. At the reveal of his identity, Lucius’ eyes widened
tremendously, the unmistakable look of fear coming over his once enraged
features. He sputtered to find the words, all the while appearing as though he
was seeing a ghost.
“It would seem as though you didn’t expect to see me,” he said quietly, his
face expressionless in the darkness of the space.
Lucius flinched, “I-I- No…! Please. We thought you were dead! You disappeared
and we all assumed you thrown into Azkaban or lost completely!”
“Quiet,” he said with vehemence, “Do you have any idea what I’ve been through?
How I’ve suffered?!”
“Severus…” Lucius swallowed, “Please! Please allow me to explain!”
“Your sister in-law and her cronies committed unspeakable offenses… The likes
of which should never be witnessed or bestowed upon anyone. Did you know?”
“No!” he cried, “I only knew that they had been tipped off- That the Dark Lord
had passed Bella the information with the intent of making an example of their
repeated refusals to him… And of finding the location of their son.”
“An innocent child to be sent to the slaughter!” he roared.
Flinching, “It was necessary… The Dark Lord- “
“They tortured and murdered an infant’s parents in order to find the location
of said child, and then murder him too!” he interrupted, “Do not make excuses
for the Dark Lord’s unnecessary evil… It was cruelty of the darkest kind, and
there is no explanation that you could ever give that will ever explain why
such evil occurred… Why so many people had to die as a result of his wicked
plans.”
“It was all for- “
“Do not tell me it was for the greater good!” he shouted, pressing the tip of
his wand hard into the throat of his once friend, “Have you never feared for
your own son, Lucius? Have you ever considered what devastation you might feel
if you and Narcissa were robbed of Draco? The roles very easily could have been
reversed, and I dare you to tell me that you would stand by and give up the
life of your innocent child without a second thought…! Or are you too far gone
as well? Has his poisonous raving diluted your common sense and judgment?” it
took every ounce of self-restraint to hold back the anger that threatened to
lose itself on the wizard before him, “She stole more than just lives aligned
with the Order that night… She stole far more than you could ever imagine-
! Count yourself lucky to have not been on the other side of such evil, for I
dare you to have faced the pain that I have; dare you to comprehend what it
feels like when holding the woman you love in your arms, and knowing that the
child she was carrying is no more because of an act of senseless cruelty.”
“Lucius?!”
The sudden cry of Narcissa Malfoy sent both men reeling with surprise. When
Severus turned to face her, he was standing stark-straight, at full height, his
identity plain in the close-proximity that they shared. For how long she had
been standing there and listening to them, he had no idea, but there were the
tell-tale tracks of tears upon her face, and the glossiness of those still
unshed within her eyes. She wore a white nightgown with deep emerald green
housecoat overtop for modesty, her two-toned blonde and dark brown hair hanging
loose and to the side. In her arms she held her sleeping son- A boy nearing his
first birthday. She was unarmed, her wand remaining elsewhere in the vast
expanse of the house, her arms trembling from the sight before her, though
protectively pressing the silvery-blonde child to her breast.
“Run, Narcissa!” Lucius shouted, “You must call for help!”
Her eyes darted with concern to her husband, though she remained glued to the
spot in which she stood, her attention shifting to Severus instead, “Merlin
save us all,” she managed in a whisper, “What did Bella do?”
Stunned by her surprise presence, Severus found himself at a loss for words,
diverting his eyes from her and to the wand held tightly in his hand.
“Severus,” she continued, “I cannot even imagine, nor can I offer you anything
worthy of insight or apology for my sister’s actions…” she placed a hand in a
gesture of comfort upon his elbow, “Please help us understand; please allow us
to help you.”
“And how do I know that one of you will not betray me immediately to the Dark
Lord?” he asked her, “Give me one reason why I should trust you after
everything that’s happened?”
“Hold out your arms…”
“Narcissa, what are you-? NO!” Lucius objected.
“Enough, Lucius!” she frowned, “We have never been given a reason to question
Severus’ friendship to us, and I will not question his character now.” She
turned back to the dark-haired wizard before her, waiting for him to heed her
request.
Severus swallowed, and then held his arms out as requested. Though he had
sensed her intent, it did nothing to cull the sensation of once again holding a
child in his arms. The last time he had held an infant it had been little
Neville, when staying at the home of Frank Longbottom’s parents. He had finally
given in to the possibility of becoming a father himself one day, desiring
nothing more than sharing his life with Lily, and creating life with her. It
had been a possibility he long considered only a fantasy, and when finally made
reality, it had been snatched away in an unforgettable act of cruelty. But
this, this was something unfathomable. When considering all possibilities for
the outcomes of the evening’s interrogation, he had not once thought about one
pertaining to Narcissa and her son catching him at his questioning. If he had
been completely honest, he did not know himself how everything would turn out,
but the emotions which overcame him at the feeling of holding the innocent
child in his arms was at once overwhelming.
Narcissa watched silently, smiling as the boy shifted in Severus’ arms.
It was with a flick of his wand that Severus released Lucius from the jinx,
lowering him to the ground where he sat grumbling and rubbing his temples from
the pressure of added blood rushing to his head.
“What can we do?” Narcissa asked after her husband had once again rose to his
feet, “How can we help you?”
“This is suicide, Narcissa!”
“Lucius,” she sighed, “You know as well as I do that the numbers behind the
Dark Lord are dwindling. It’s no secret, and it’s no lie! Our odds are stacked,
and it may be time to consider other possibilities- “
“Listen to what you’re saying, woman!” he shouted, “We have given everything to
You-Know-Who! We have allowed him in our home, we have followed through with
his plans blindly, and we now stand here with a traitor in our midst, and
you’re actually telling me that you believe in everything that he says!”
“And you don’t?”
“Your sister- “
“Bella was my sister, yes,” Narcissa interrupted, “But she was also capable of
cruelty beyond my comprehension. She was always frightening, and always
explosive in her beliefs… It does not surprise me that she would commit
something of such unspeakable senselessness, but I had held hope that she would
not. Does that make me a monster as well? Hoping that my own sister would not
prove herself willing to offer the deaths of innocents on a silver platter to a
man who claimed it was for the greater good? Lucius, this is madness!”
Severus passed a sleeping Draco back into his mother’s arms, turning to his
once closest friend, “Listen to her! Lucius, there is still time… Do it for
your wife and son if not for yourself.”
“What did you come here for?” he managed to ask, though clearly flustered.
“Do you recall the bound leather book that the Dark Lord often kept close at
hand? Do you know if he took it with him when accompanied by Rossier and Wilkes
to Little Hangleton?”
“Have you been spying on me?!”
“Would you expect anything else?” Narcissa smirked, “Severus has always been a
champion at his tasks for the Dark Lord.” Lowering her voice and speaking more
to her sleeping son, “Perhaps that’s why he was often considered the favorite…”
Lucius frowned at his wife, “I know of the book; why do you seek it?”
“It’s a long story,” Severus stated, clearly unwilling to add any further
information.
“Try me.”
“Lucius!” Narcissa snapped, “Enough is enough.”
“Damn it, woman…” he growled, “I have it here,” he stated, and turned to the
chair he had been sitting in upon Severus’ arrival, opening the drawer to a
side table nestled close, and extracting the brown leather bound book.
Severus stared at the object held in the silvery-blonde wizard’s hand,
immediately filled with a mixture of both relief and nervousness, “Do you trust
me.”
Lucius laughed, shaking his head with incredulity.
“What is it?” Narcissa questioned.
“A piece of very dark magic that must be destroyed,” Severus told her, eyes
never leaving the book.
“Coming back from the dead to remove the favored objects of your once Master,”
Lucius sneered, “How noble.”
“Is there somewhere you can go?” Severus asked Narcissa, ignoring the mockery
of her husband.
“Umm…” she thought, “It’s been years, though I suspect Andromeda and Ted would
gladly take us in for a time.”
“The blood-traitor?!”
“She was always the most open-minded and forgiving of the three of us,”
Narcissa continued, glaring at Lucius, “Though there has been much left unsaid
between us, it may prove the medicine necessary to heal old wounds.”
“And if the Dark Lord finds out?!”
“Lucius Malfoy, will you listen to me?!” she shouted, “What is more important
to you, your family, or the beliefs you once shared with a righteous and
archaic man? Listen to yourself! Would you risk your own life? The lives of
your wife and son for a cause destined for defeat?! He’s killing children! Your
son could very well have been one of many to face such a fate, and he could
still… How would you fare when faced with the horrors that Severus was forced
to witness? Would you deny seeking vengeance for mine and Draco’s deaths? Open
your eyes!”
It was at her words that the proud Pure-blood wizard finally caved in. Though
stubborn, and resentful at being proven wrong, he stepped forward and passed
the object to Severus, moving to his wife with a protective arm around her
shoulders.
“Do as you must.”
“Hurry to Andromeda,” Severus told them, “Take all in your service, but know
that you will be unable to return to this place for threat to your safety. I do
not know how long it will take until this war is over, but you have taken great
strides in helping end it today.”
“Severus- “ Narcissa began, just prior to their departure, “Be well. I hope to
see you again when all of this madness is over.”
“Take care of your son,” he told her, nodding to his once friend.
“I don’t claim to agree with you, or understand your sudden change of tune,”
Lucius told him, “But I am indebted to your kindness in sparing me… In allowing
us to live despite the choices we have made.”
They shook hands before vanishing into the night, with Severus returning to the
interior of the grand house. He returned to the room where their altercation
had taken place, where the Dark Lord had once plotted and planned all of his
evil schemes. On the bare stone floor, he placed the diary- The object he had
sought; that he knew he must destroy. He had not been able to fetch the sword
used on the other occasions, having left in such haste, and electing to keep
his plans a secret if anything had gone awry. It would have to be Fiendfyre…
There was no other option.
The incantation was complex, though he knew himself capable. The fire billowed
from the tip of his wand, alighting the diary like kindling as it shrieked as
though alive from the burning flames inflicted upon it. With a flick of his
wand, the flame left his wand, transforming into a senseless shape at first,
and then developing into a frightful serpent. Hideous and immense, towering
high overhead and filling the cavernous space, the Basilisk constructed of
molten flame encircles and devoured everything in sight- Everything it could
reach. A blood-like substance poured from the singed book upon the floor, the
pages blackening and crumbling into ash and soot. It was then that he knew the
horcrux to be destroyed, and then that he relinquished control over the curse
he had cast, racing from the fiery maze of the Malfoy Manor, and out into the
cool night air. Turning on his heel, he watched at first one, then two, three,
four, five windows shattered upon the exterior of the mansion; shards of glass
raining down into the yard below, the yellow and orange flames licking
tirelessly within the confines of the house, the red eyes of the blazing
Basilisk alight with unseeing dark magic. Severus Aparated from the scene in
that moment, leaving the fiery wreckage behind.
===============================================================================
The sun was dawning as Severus reached the cottage by the sea. He removed his
cloak on the doorstep, slipping into the house with as much silence as he could
muster, knowing that Lily would likely still be fast asleep. He was sore and
tired, longing to find himself the rest of a familiar bed and the warmth of the
woman he loved. Entering the bedroom, he found her nestled in the blankets,
laying upon her stomach, her auburn curls strung across the pillows in a deep
and peaceful slumber. He undressed, staring at her for a long moment before
getting into the bed, relishing in the sight of her, the knowledge that he
would be blessed to spend yet another day in her arms. He breathed deeply, eyes
closing as his head hit the pillow, and was greeted with the familiar and
comforting press of Lily’s body against him.
“You came back,” she told him sleepily.
He kissed her softly on the mouth, “I promised I would.”
Chapter End Notes
     I am a huge believer that Narcissa Malfoy is an underestimated and
     undervalued character when it comes to her potential. If there is one
     thing undeniable, it's her love for her son, and I think that if
     anyone was able to see reasoning and understanding in such an
     explanation as Sev's, it would be her. Lucius may be a total prick at
     times, but I don't think there's any question in regards to his
     devotion for Narcissa, and the fact that he would follow her blindly
     if she said "Enough is enough."
     (At least in my story- Haha).
     But seriously, when she hands baby Draco to Sev as a sign of trust...
     To me that was just super powerful in her beliefs of right from
     wrong.
     We had yet to see Narcissa since the birth of her son, so I am glad
     she could be a breath of fresh air that this story really deserved.
     Everyone can make fun of me all you want, but the song choice always
     pulls at my heartstrings, and helped influence the opening scene of
     this chapter tremendously:
     When_I_Look_At_You_-_Miley_Cyrus
***** Hufflepuff's Heir *****
Chapter Summary
     On Neville's first birthday, Severus and Lily find their last
     Horocrux somehow hiding in plain sight.
     Unfortunately, not everything is as it seems.
Chapter Notes
     Apologies for my delay in posting...
     It's been a bit crazy with Christmas preparations and all that. :P
     Also, please proceed with caution if you have any triggers.
     Graphic descriptions of violence in this chapter- Please know your
     own limitations. I don't want anyone to feel uncomfortable.
See the end of the chapter for more notes
“You may not be her first, her last, or her only. She loved before she may love
again. But if she loves you now, what else matters? Hold onto her and give her
 the most you can. She may not be thinking about you every second of the day,
 but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break- Her heart.”
                                  -Bob Marley
                                   [badger]
July_of_1981
“Lily-? What is it?”
The occasion of Neville’s first birthday had been a welcome distraction for all
members of the Order of the Phoenix. Not only had it been an opportunity for
all to play their respects to their lost comrades, Frank and Alice, but also a
means to honor them through the acknowledgement of their child who had managed
to survive. The sacrifice that Neville’s parents had made was not something
that went unnoticed when it came to their friends and associates, and though
time had managed to make their absence an easier pain to bear, they were still
missed terribly. Augusta and Robert Longbottom, Frank’s parents, had taken up
the responsibility of raising their infant grandson, vowing that he would be
raised just as his own father had been, and that when the time was appropriate,
and the boy was much older, he would learn the details surrounding their
deaths.
When they had learned of Lily’s miraculous survival on that fateful night,
Augusta and Robert had found themselves immensely relieved. There had already
been so much pain and suffering, death and sorrow when it came to the war that
Voldemort was waging… The survival of anyone was a welcome change, and when it
came to someone who had been so close to both their son and daughter in-law, as
well as the godmother of their only grandchild, they had found it a chance for
hope. With their hearts already so heavy with the loss of Frank and Alice, they
were able to see a light at the end of the tunnel when it came to Lily and
Severus’ continued perseverance. In time they had managed a correspondence of
sorts, and though it was never stated explicitly, they knew that Neville would
never be without his parent’s memory when it came to stories and details that
only someone their own age and close to them as a friend could relay.
The birthday location was decided upon as the home of Robert and Augusta, the
Fidelius Charm an obvious desirable feature, as well as the grand scale of
their family home when it came to comfortably housing all of the attending
members. Lily and Severus had arrived early, longing to spend a little one-on-
one time with the little boy that had not seen for months. How he had grown!
How he had begun to truly resemble his mother and father. Though unsteady, he
was managing to take steps, clinging tightly to their fingers as he navigated
the floors, learning how best to manage his balance. As much as it filled her
heart with joy to be reunited with the little wizard, it also filled her heart
with a deep sadness for the thought of what Alice and Frank were missing. They
would have loved to see him grow, to see him transform into the person that he
would become… And it had all been so cruelly and unfairly stolen away from
them.
Slipping away for a brief reprieve, Severus and Lily had come to the den of the
old house, quietly reveling in their memories, and allowing the sorrow of their
dear friend’s passing to become a bit more manageable before proceeding to help
Augusta ready the house for the festivities that were soon to come. It had
taken Severus completely be surprise when he turned to find Lily staring as
though she had seen a ghost, the blood having drained from her face, her
almond-shaped green eyes wide.
“Lily- What is it?” he repeated.
“There,” she managed, her voice scarcely a whisper, pointing to the curio
cabinet, her eyes barely blinking, unwavering in their stare.
Severus followed the line of her extended finger to the various antiques and
knick-knacks within. After some initial confusion, he caught sight of the
precise object which had captured her attention so completely: A golden chalice
emblazoned with the heraldic banner of Hufflepuff; the noble badger clear as
day upon its surface.
“How-?” she managed.
“You both look as though you’ve seen a ghost,” Augusta Longbottom stated,
entering the room, her hands upon her hips.
“Ma’am,” Severus nodded politely, “It’s just… Well, that cup- “
She smiled kindly, her stare meeting the intriguing object with a proudness
coming over her features, “A family heirloom… I inherited it from my mother
after- Well… It’s been a long time now.”
Lily could sense the sadness in the woman, though was unable to stop the
question, which came out more matter-of-factly than she had intended, “Your
mother was Hepzibah Smith?”
Neville’s grandmother did not inquire as to how Lily might have learned such
information, though she turned and nodded, “A horrible series of events really…
I never imagined tragedy to strike a second time, though it seems as though I
may have been dealt a cruel hand. Then again, I must always remember- As we all
should, that we are never given too much to handle, no matter how dark and
consuming the events might be. Frank and Alice would not want us to remain in
mourning forever because of their deaths- No, they would want us to be strong
and to find a reason to live on in a world that they fought for us to have. My
mother was much the same way… She would not wish me to mourn her after so many
years gone.”
“Then it’s true about the cup-?” Severus pressed.
“Though the name ‘Hufflepuff’ was lost many generations back, it is true,”
Augusta smiled, “With my mother’s death, I became the final member of our line,
though was lucky enough to pass the famous lineage on to Frank- Who in turn
has, of course, given it to Neville. He is now the heir of Helga Hufflepuff,
even though he doesn’t share in her famous name.”
“I don’t mean to seem odd in my questions,” Lily began, “Nor insensitive in any
regards, but how was it that you discovered the cup after your mother’s death?
I only inquire, because of an assignment that Dumbledore has given Sev and
myself.”
“What assignment?”
“One pertaining to each of the well-known objects from the famous founders of
Hogwarts,” Severus replied, “As surprising as it might seem, the cup of Helga
Hufflepuff has been the one hardest for us to track down; all details ending
with the suspicious events of 1961.”
“When Hokey poisoned my mother’s cocoa?” Augusta frowned, “The House-elf
readily admitted her guilt. The cup was within the house under lock and- “
She trailed off, her brow furrowing with deep lines, her eyes slowly moving to
look at both Lily and Severus with a sudden realization, hinted with concern.
“What is it?” Lily asked her.
“It’s just that,” she said pointedly “Mother always kept the objects in that
house under lock and key… Especially anything of extreme value.”
“Not at Gringotts?” Severus posed.
She shook her head, bemused, “She hated Goblins… ‘Sneaky bunch,’ she’d always
say… No, my mother always kept everything that she could in that old house, and
oddly enough, I never thought about how strange it was to find the cup sitting
out in the open after coming to set everything in order. It was upon the coffee
table in the sitting room-! Not far from the very teacup that help the
poisonous residue that had killed her. Why would Hokey just leave it out in the
open? Now you have me thinking…”
“The House-elf was not the one at fault for Hepzibah Smith’s murder,” the voice
of Albus Dumbledore suddenly said evenly, causing the three to turn with equal
looks of surprise at his silent and unexpected arrival.
“Regardless,” Augusta Longbottom continued, attempting to hide her surprise at
the elder wizard’s presence, “It’s been twenty years since she’s passed on, the
circumstances hardly matter much anymore.”
“Ah, but that’s where you’re quite wrong, Augusta,” the current Headmaster at
Hogwarts said pointedly, “Sometimes the devil is very much in the details, and
this case would be one quite befitting of such a phrase… Hokey did not murder
your mother.”
“If she did not, then may I ask who did?”
“But of course,” he replied, blue eyes twinkling behind his half-moon
spectacles, “It was a young man by the name of Tom Riddle.”
Lily closed her eyes and breathed a deep breath: She had been right.
“What-? Who?” Augusta questioned, not having expected such a truthful response
that provided the detail of the perpetrators name.
Severus swallowed, “The Dark Lord.”
Augusta stared at the man who had come to be such a close friend to her son and
daughter in-law with shock and incredulity, turning back the man with the long
white beard, “How could it be?! Albus, what would such a man have wanted with
my Mum?”
“Hepzibah was a great many things, as I remember her,” he said gently, “Larger
than life personality in such a small woman of stature… And yet she was very
boastful when it came to her collectibles; wealth long allowing for her to
procure many coveted and ancient objects well renowned in our world. This cup,
the relic of your ancestor, the founder Helga Hufflepuff, is not just any
antique to bat an eye at.”
Augusta shook her head, “Foolish…”
“She had no way of knowing whom she was dealing with,” the elder man told her,
lightly pressing a hand to her shoulder in a gesture he hoped would symbolize
his sympathy, “We all make mistakes, it was an unfortunate error that Hepzibah
was misled by such a creature as You-Know-Who.”
“What does it all mean?”
“For beginners, that an innocent was framed,” he stated matter-of-factly,
“However the time to exonerate Hokey has long passed with her death occurring a
few years after that Hepzibah.”
“Do you feel it?” Severus asked Lily suddenly, eyes narrowing at the object
they had long sought.
She nodded, swallowing hard.
“Feel what?!” Augusta inquired shrilly, eyes filling with fright, “This is
madness! We’re to have the other guests arriving soon-! Where’s Robert?”
“Augusta,” Dumbledore said calmly, voice showing no sign of distress, “Trust
that your family heirloom will remain in your possession, and that nothing is
wrong. Severus, Lily, and I have something that we must deal with… But allow me
to assure you, that the golden chalice is the key to the Dark Lord’s demise.”
“I don’t understand,” she whispered, eyes meeting each of the three in turn.
“None of us do fully,” he smiled, “Now, greet your guests, my dear… We will
meet you shortly.”
Clearly Augusta Longbottom was eager to remove herself from the room, though
her eyes continued to reflect a certain fright and curiosity as the door closed
behind her.
“Did you know-?” Lily questioned the aged wizard when they were very much
alone.
“I promise that I am quite as shocked at the sudden appearance of our seemingly
final horcrux as the both of you,” Albus Dumbledore told her, “Luckily, I
always travel prepared…”
There was a gleam of metallic in the dimness of the room, and then the dark
sparkle of gemstones- The Sword of Godric Gryffindor.
“Let us not waste another moment,” he told his two former pupils, “I presume
you will have no objection if I am to eliminate this final object?”
Neither Lily or Severus offered a word of objection, and their former
Headmaster acted swiftly and firmly landed the tip of the Goblin-made sword
into the golden cup bearing the crest of the badger. There was a telltale
‘hiss,’ smoke emitting from the place where silver and gold met, followed by
the seeping of think red-black fluid. It had been done.
And then there was only the sound of chatter beyond the door; other members of
the Order of the Phoenix having arrived for the festivities surrounding Neville
Longbottom’s first birthday. None knew of the immensely evil artifact hiding so
close to all of them- An object that had very much been hiding in plain sight
all along.
Albus Dumbledore nodded to Lily and Severus in turn, bending gracefully and
picking up the cup; he juggled it briefly, “Hot.”
None of them knew precisely what their next step would be, but for the moment,
a slowly growing sense of accomplishment began to set in between them. They had
done it!
Soon Voldemort would be no more.
The aged wizard slipped the Gryffindor Sword out of sight into his robes, and
then gestured that the three of them join the party. Lily took Severus’ arm, as
if on cue, and the three made their way to join the other guests. Laughter and
upbeat conversation circled through the grand house, little Neville Longbottom
being passed from guest to guest with smiles and ample attention. He was
clearly enjoying it. Though a secret to their colleagues, there was a certain
lightness that had permeated both Lily and Severus from deep within- A true
sense of hope that the end was finally nearer than it had ever been before.
Perhaps Voldemort would be dead by the end of the year? Or was that too much to
hope for too soon? Regardless, there was a difference in the both of them, and
their radiance was something not overlooked, but rather infectious by those
surrounding them for such a joyous birthday celebration.
With a suddenness not immediately noticed by the surrounding festivities, a
sparling silver began to appear in their midst. A moment later it took shape,
swirling into the form of a fox, reaching the center of their festivities and
sending everyone into an immediate silence.
“Kingsley! The Ministry is falling… The Death Eaters have attacked! We need
everyone capable of fighting at once!”
“Who was that?” a voice questioned, as soon as the Patronus had vanished.
“Dedalus Diggle,” Kinglsey responded, “He stayed behind knowing that I would
want a report the instance something unusual happened… Which it seems has. We
must go at once!”
As everyone began milling about in a chaos of sorts, Dumbledore found Lily,
pulling her aside from the hurried actions of the other members of the Order of
the Phoenix, pressing her hand tightly with his, “You must give this to
Neville… You must allow him to wear it at all costs.”
“But- “
“Promise me, Lily!” he said with an urgency she was unfamiliar with, his eyes
alive with urgency, “You will remain here… He will be safe with you. Tell me
you understand.”
“I understand.”
“And you will give that to Neville- “
“At once,” she promised.
“Thank you,” he told her, “I will return with the others as soon as we can.”
Severus was readying himself with the others across the room, when he noticed
Lily and his former Headmaster enraptured in a secret and final conversation.
He paused, crossing the room to them, though the moment had passed.
“Lily is staying here,” Dumbledore told him, “As Neville was the object of You-
Know-Who’s violence, as well as the subject of the Prophecy, I cannot have us
leave him unprotected.”
“Then I will stay as well.”
There was no arguing the point, it was a final answer. Albus Dumbledore nodded,
his face neither conveying approval or displeasure at the assertion of the
former Slytherin.
Lily was on the move at once, picking up Neville from his new pile of toys-
Gifts for his first birthday. She opened her hand to reveal a square onyx stone
set into a thin gold chain- The stone lightly etched with markings… Markings
that seemed familiar. She didn’t have time to think about that now. And despite
the strangeness of her former Headmaster’s request, she slipped the necklace
around the little boy’s neck, all evidence of it hiding behind the clothing he
wore. As the final witches and wizards abandoned the once festivities of the
immense house belonging to Augusta and Robert Longbottom, a peculiar silence
fell over the place. Augusta and Robert began cleaning up, and Severus found
himself itching with an uncomfortable certainty as Lily went up the stairs to
the nursery to put Neville down for a nap. The events at the Ministry were on
all of their minds, a curiosity that plagued them- The unknown and perils of
the battle that waged calling to them from afar.
But they had a job to do. Orders from Albus Dumbledore were not meant to be
challenged, and all of them knew better than slipping away to the source of the
action. Neville was their priority.
Lily had only just reached the bottom of the stairs when an explosion blew the
door of the house clean off its hinges. She glanced in the direction of the
sound, green eyes widening. It was just as the events on All Hallow’s Eve had
begun, and she would not allow for a repeat. She raced back up the staircase,
the looming sense of dread burning alive inside of her, her heart pounding with
blood and adrenaline, her very veins on fire, and her lungs sucking in air as
fast as she could breathe it. She ran- Ran faster than she ever ran before, her
ears buzzing, though numb to the violence that was almost certainly underway on
the level beneath her. She ran down the hallway, her fiery auburn curls flying
behind her, slamming into the doorjamb as she entered the nursery and pulled
Neville tightly into her arms.
Severus had heard the thunderous crash at the same instant that Lily had, his
wand instantly in hand, and raced after her, close on her heels, sweat falling
cold on his brow and between his shoulder blades; in anticipation of the worst.
He had entered the nursery only moments after she had, the look in her eyes one
of terror, the little child looking about with his large brown eyes- Eyes so
like those of his mother’s. Screams rang through the lower story of the house,
obviously belonging to Augusta and Robert Longbottom, though extinguishing just
as quickly as they shrieked through the house. Were they dead? What was
happening?
When the tall and pale figure emerged into the doorway of the room occupied by
the three remaining inhabitants of the house, the air went cold, the breaths
leaving their lungs in painful bursts. When Lily’s green eyes locked with the
crimson slits, the snakelike features of the terrifying and evil being before
her, she imagined a scream reverberating in an echo through the wreckage of the
house, the horror of his sight eliciting a primal fear that was unlike anything
she had ever before known. Neville began fussing and crying at once, pressing
himself to Lily, his pudgy arms clinging to her as crocodile-tears glistened in
his eyes and fell in heavy droplets down his innocent face.
“Mama!”
Her heart both broke and filled with a deep love she had never before thought
imaginable at the words cried from the beautiful child she held in her arms.
The son of her best friends killed at the hands of cronies hailing to the
monstrous creature that stood before them- A man once known as Tom Riddle, who
had transformed himself into something beyond former appearances, and with the
level of evil and depravity never before dreamed capable in the Wizarding
World.
Severus pushed them behind him, standing between the woman he had loved since a
child of nine, and the innocent baby she had vowed to protect. He stood
sneering at his former Master, the man he had once pledged his life to, his
loyalty and faith… All of which had been horribly misplaced, and yet redeemable
to those understanding that he longed for nothing more than a penance for
former misdeeds and a new life- A second chance.
“Severus Snape.”
“Tom Riddle.”
The dark wizard did not flinch at the usage of his once-name, though twirled
his pale wand deftly in his long fingers, his face conveying nothing except
displeasure, “A name I gladly removed myself from.”
“How-?”
“Did I manage to overcome a Fidelius Charm?” the Dark Lord smirked, “With ease.
Do you think me such a fool as to not keep tabs on the locations I sought to
hide relics most precious to me?” he laughed at the look of surprise that
fluttered across his former lieutenant’s face, the sound both shrill and blood
chilling, “Oh yes, Severus… I know.”
“You don’t deny it?” Lily heard herself ask, rocking the child in her arms.
“Oh Mudblood, why would I?” he bemused, “I made quite a few, though I am sure
most remain. Even with Dumbledore’s assistance, I do not suspect anyone truly
capable of finding all my secrets. You have destroyed this one… Perhaps
another, but not all.”
“Don’t call her that,” Severus seethed, his wand pointed at his once Master.
“Forgive me,” the dark wizard said with a tip of his head, “I forget that you
may call her such, though it is a sin of unspeakable wickedness for anyone else
to.”
“I warn you- “
The laughter sounded again through the closeness of their proximity, continuing
to fill Lily with a building unease, “You. Warn. Me? Do not push your luck,
Severus… I consider myself a patient man, though you have already proven
yourself far more trouble than you are worth.”
“You know nothing!”
“Ah, but I know everything,” he sneered, “I have long seen our similarities,
and welcomed them. I have entrusted you with much in the years we spent
together… The years you performed bravely and dutifully in my service. Have you
told her of your past deeds? Of the Muggles and Mudbloods that you helped
slaughter, that you tortured in much the same way as that child’s parents? You
orchestrated such deeds when I needed them to be performed as a symbolic
genocide of the unworthy. You never questioned such tasks, always seeing them
through to completion and leaving no survivors in the wake. I ask you for meat
on a platter and you would ask me ‘medium or well done?’”
“LIAR!” Lily shouted.
“Am I?” the Dark Lord posed, “Let us hear what your lover has to say.”
“You used us,” Severus said through gritted teeth, “You hand-picked and
selected those of us coming from lives just as you did. You knew we sought
recognition and praise, and you used our talents to your benefit so that you
might change the world so that it reflected something better fitting of your
immoral ideals. We followed you blindly and without question because you gave
us what we had so long desired! And even that was false! All of lies… And we
committed monstrous acts of violence at your behest because of the power you
held over us, the vile and disgusting evil that you poisoned every one of us
with!”
“You betrayed me as no one else has.”
“Because I saw the foulness of my life… The sins I had committed blindly when
devoid of any hope for a family that loved me, a woman who would be able to see
through my mistakes and horrors- “
“This Mudblood?”
“DON’T CALL HER THAT!”
Lily felt a chill crawl up the length of her spine, the déjà vu of Severus’
cries paralleling those which she had once shouted at James and the Marauders
when they attended Hogwarts… A time when their roles had been very much
reversed.
“Forget her,” Voldemort told him, “If it is female company that you seek, I can
promise a Pure-blood to fit your needs. Your treachery can be forgiven so long
as you step aside… Do not get in my way, Severus.”
“You would kill an innocent child?” Lily asked, “Is there any end to your
depravity? All because of some vision that was had-? Are you so afraid?!”
“HOW DARE YOU SPEAK TO ME IN SUCH A MANNER, MUDBLOOD!” he roared, wand pointed
at the ready.
“He’s a baby! she shouted, “He’s alone in the world now because you ordered his
parents murdered! A Pure-blooded child that you would normally protect and
revel in the unspoiled blood which runs through his veins, and yet you seek to
remove him from the world!
“SHUT UP!”
“You’re afraid, I can see it in your eyes- “
“QUIET, MUDBLOOD!”
“Deep down inside you know that it’s wrong…”
“SILENCE!”
“You made an orphan of him!” she yelled, tears streaming from her eyes, “He’s
an innocent child, and you robbed him of people who loved him and wanted him!”
“You will silence her, or I will be forced to…” Voldemort seethed to Severus,
clearly nearing the end of his patience.
“You have made Neville into something not unlike yourself,” she breathed, “But
he will not face the cruelties you were subjected to. He will be raised with
love and never questioning his want or place in the world. You will not hurt
him. You will not rob this world of an innocent because of your own
insecurities and fears. I won’t let you.”
“You won’t let me?!”
Severus turned to look at her for the briefest of moments, and then back at the
foreboding and frightening creature before him. With a silent utterance, and
flourish of his wand, Severus stiffened in surprise, his wand falling from his
fingertips and clattering upon the nursery floor. He took a staggering step
forward, and then crashed down onto his knees.
“Sev-?!” Lily managed, eyes wide.
“We will see how defiant you are when not able to hide behind the strength of
my former servant,” Voldemort told her, his words cold, his thin lips curving
into a frightening smile- The thing of nightmares.
Severus reached up to his neck in a jerking motion scarcely befitting that of
his normal fluid movements, scarlet blood slipping between his grasping
fingers, his hands covered in the lifeblood pouring from the deep laceration
that cut him ear-to-ear. He fell forward with a deafening thud.
“SEV?! NO!!!" Lily screamed; looking at Voldemort, "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!”
“An unfortunate conclusion for betrayal that was not easily forgiven,”
Voldemort smirked, “He wouldn’t have survived this encounter anyways- Of that I
can assure you. But enough of this! The two of you have already wasted enough
of my valuable time with your endless chatter and distractions. Give me the
child.”
Lily felt as though her heart was being ripped from her chest, and yet deep
inside something else bloomed and grew; something she was without words to
describe, but which presented itself at first with merely a whisper, slowly
growing to a louder and louder presence within her very soul.
“Give. Me. The. Child.”
“No.”
“AVADA KEVADRA!”
The green light shot forth from the depraved wizard’s wand, hitting Neville
square in the chest and bouncing off of him. By all accounts known the killing
curse should have left the one-year-old dead instantly, and yet he remained
very much alive and breathing in Lily’s arms. The surprise and utter
bewilderment of such an action was not lost to the Dark Lord as well, and for
the first time Lily was able to detect the visible signs of fright upon the
abomination’s face.
“Neville, we love you.”
“We are so proud of you.”
The sound of their familiar voices startled Lily at once. Frank and Alice? At
once their ghostly images appeared in the room, standing beside the toppled
figure of Severus Snape, and separating Lily and Neville from Lord Voldemort.
“What magic-?” the dark wizard managed, eyes darting with curiosity and horror.
“He still clings to life, though barely,” the transparent Frank spoke.
“Lily, there’s still time…” Alice told her best friend, smiling at her as she
once had done so often.
“Thank you for loving him,” Frank smiled.
“Promise to love Neville always, and never forget us,” Alice added, “You can
still save Severus… There’s still time left.”
“He’s dead!” Voldemort shouted.
“No,” Lily said, tears still streaming from her eyes, “I don’t believe that he
is… But you will be.”
Whether the Dark Lord had thought her capable of it, or merely if he had been
too slow to react- Distracted by the ghostly appearance of Frank and Alice
Longbottom… It was hard to say. But when Lily leveled her wand at the darkest
wizard in recent history, and cried the words of the killing curse through the
air, she wasn’t certain whether it had been truly audible, or something
screamed from the confines of her own mind. With Neville balanced upon her hip,
she held her wand steady as the green light erupted from its tip and blasted
with a prodigious amount of energy into the creature that stood before her.
Voldemort slammed into the wall behind him with a thunderous crash, his eyes
wide with terror, his mouth hung open in a silent scream. As the light faded,
Lily dropped her wand from trembling fingertips to the floor, the sound small
in the ruined surroundings. The Dark Lord was dead, leaning against the wall he
had hit, now crumpled into a pile reminiscent of trash upon the floor. Setting
Neville back into his crib, she fell to the floor on wobbly legs from the shock
of her casting an Unforgiveable Curse- Something she had never thought herself
capable of. The visions of Frank and Alice were gone. They had disappeared just
as quickly as they had suddenly materialized within the space. It had been good
to see them once again; to have heard their words.
She had done it. She had somehow managed to rid the world of Lord Voldemort.
Crawling across the floor of the nursery that was littered with debris, she
reached the crumpled form of Severus, rolling him onto his back, his head in
her lap.
It was a frightful sight.
The blood continued to flow from the deep gash that partially bisected his head
from his neck. His hands trembled in their attempt to keep what little blood
that remained within him from spilling; skin stained crimson, just like his
clothes and the floorboards beneath him. His eyelids fluttered, dark eyelashes
flickering over the deep, dark eyes that continued seeing- Though just barely.
He gasped, trying to speak, though a crude gurgling was the only sound that
issued forth, thick and sticky scarlet blood bubbling at both the laceration
and on the corners of his paling lips. He reached for her with one hand,
fingertips weak and quivering as they brushed a stray auburn curl behind one
ear, though leaving a bloody mark as they lightly grazed her cheek. She held
his hand there, the smell of iron strong in the closeness of their proximity,
her heart shattering into a thousand tiny pieces as she looked upon the
mortally wounded man she had come to love with everything she possessed. He had
helped her through so much- He had been there at her side through everything
that had transpired, and he had not once shied away from his feelings towards
her, or his quest for redemption. They had vowed to begin a life together when
everything was over, and Voldemort had seen to ending that in one last act of
unspeakable violence and cruelty. It wasn’t supposed to end like this! Not now…
Not after they had lost so much- After they had finally found each other,
learned to love without limitations, and trust so completely in each other.
Not now. Not this.
“Lily…” Severus managed.
She bit her lip, tears falling from her eyes in relentless waterfalls, “Yes,
Sev? I’m here…”
“You… Y- You did it.”
Lily swallowed hard, “I- I did… But I didn’t- I didn’t do it fast enough!”
“No,” he managed, eyes locked upon hers, grimacing in pain, “Y- You did
perfectly.”
“But I didn’t save you!”
“You did so much more,” he told her, a smile ghosting across his trembling
lips, “You saved Neville. You didn’t flounder, and y- you ended the evil he was
determined to- to bestow upon all of us. Lily, you saved us all.”
“I’m not ready…”
“To say goodbye?” he coughed, blood flowing anew, “We never are, but I count
myself lucky… Lucky to have spent the time I was able to with you. You are my
everything- N… N- Never forget it. I found my humanity again b- b- because of
you. I found love that I never dreamed possible because of you.” He grimaced,
his hand growing weak against her cheek, so much so that she knew it was only
because of her holding it there that it remained, “I- I- I love you more than
anything.”
The sob that came from her throat was one of deepest grief as she bowed her
head and pressed his lips to his, “Don’t go… I need you. I love you.”
“Be strong, my love…” he struggled, eyes fluttering, “Be… Strong…”
The cry that came from Lily was savage in its intensity as she clung to the
body of her lover, as she helplessly sobbed and cried with an uncontrollable
force.
"Come back! NO! No, you can’t! HELP! SOMEONE PLEASE…! PLEASE HELP!” she kissed
his mouth, the blood smearing on both his face and her own, “Someone… A-
Anyone! Sev… Sev, please!”
In the throes of her sadness, she didn’t notice the shadow that had emerged
outside of the shattered nursery window, or the crystal tears that mingled with
her own as they fell upon the tremendous wound that had been the one successful
method in stopping the former Death Eater in his tracks. Lily didn’t notice
when the members of the Order of the Phoenix eventually returned to the ruined
house belonging to Augusta and Frank Longbottom and found her in the horrific
scene of the nursery clutching the body of Severus Snape with a crying infant
Neville Longbottom sitting unscathed in his crib. She certainly didn’t notice
as a second scarlet plume fell into the crib with the child that had been
prophesized to be the one- The one capable of vanquishing the Dark Lord. A
brilliant plume that was the very twin of which had been gifted to the child
upon the day of his birth.
Chapter End Notes
     A cliff-hanger, I know. ;)
     But I promised all of you a happy ending, and I vow that the final
     chapter will prove just that.
     Everything has been planned out for a long time now, and I am just so
     excited to see how everyone receives the ending!
     I have obviously altered the use of the Resurrection Stone as
     befitting my needs.
     As always, thank you all so much for your comments, kudos, support-
     EVERYTHING!
     It really means a lot... More than I can say.
     Song:
     Purify_-_Lacuna_Coil
***** Epilogue ♡ *****
Chapter Summary
     Life after the end of Voldemort's reign of terror.
Chapter Notes
     There is a portion of this third chapter taken directly from the
     brilliant J. K. Rowling in her seventh book, Harry Potter & The
     Deathly Hallows.
See the end of the chapter for more notes
  “Someone who thinks death is the scariest thing doesn’t know a thing about
                                    life.”
                                -Sue Monk Kidd
                                    [love]
Five_years_later...
For the first time in weeks, the rain subsided. Though the sun still struggled
to make a full appearance, the clouds drifting by with regularity, there were
moments when it did manage to peek out for a few fleeting moments. All was
quiet- It had been ever since the downfall of Lord Voldemort. The Ministry of
Magic had remained standing, and in the aftermath of the fear and evil that so
many had lived in during the Dark Lord’s reign of terror, they reworked many
policies and laws surrounding blood statuses. Sorting magical persons based on
bloodlines had been decreed an archaic method of determining worth within the
Wizarding World, and something that all were quite ready to be done with.
Though it was suspected that the Sacred Twenty-Eight would likely continue in
their beliefs, the steps had been taken towards presenting a community where no
one would again fear for their lives and safety because of being Muggle-born or
Half-blooded. The changes had not come overnight, but when they had finally
been introduced, everyone had recognized it as a move towards redemption that
all sides needed in order to heal fully.
Tom Riddle, the man who was born an orphan, and transformed into the darkest
wizard in recent history, had been disposed of unceremoniously by the Auror
Department as instructed by the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. The
rumor had been that his heart was just as black in reality, as it had been
through the horrendous acts he committed. Those who had remained loyal until
the end, savagely slaughtering innocents based upon his supremacist dogma had
been dealt with severely and imprisoned in Azkaban. Peter Pettigrew had been
one of them. It was later told by Kingsley Shacklebolt, that the bumbling fool
quaked with fear as he was led to his cell within the fortress- The wind and
seas violently turbulent in their fervor. The once Marauder had caught a
glimpse of his former friend, and the leader of their teenaged band of mischief
makers: James Potter. Yet when he called out to the dark-haired man who wore
the wire-rimmed glasses, he was met with an unseeing stare and the utter
feeling of hopelessness. No one who entered Azkaban was able to keep up their
spirits for long… The Dementors saw to that in every regard.
The sun slipped free of the clouds, its rays casting a glow on the figure
draped in a heavy knit blanket, seated upon the worn deck of the little cottage
positioned on England’s western coastline. She closed her almond-shaped green
eyes at the feel of warmth upon her skin, her freckles illuminated in the
sunlight, her long auburn hair alight in surroundings still holding the gray
from the rainstorms that lingered as the seasons began to change. She breathed
deeply, the scent of the sea, salt, and sand fresh in the air. It was quiet-
Peacefully so; just the rhythmic crashing of the waves upon the shore, and the
occasional call of a gull. Though the nightmares and dark memories had faded in
the time since the horrors that she had faced during the rise of Voldemort,
they occasionally slipped back into her psyche when she least expected it. In
those moments she still found them overwhelming, and so powerful that it was as
though they had only just occurred. It could send her reeling before she was
able to remember that those days were gone… She had somehow survived.
She had been the one to cast the final spell that ended Tom Riddle.
And yet in those quiet moments when she least expected it, she would recall the
devastation that she felt when holding Severus in her arms and begging him not
to go; not to leave her.
“Be strong, my love… Be… Strong…”
Just when her emotions threatened to consume her, the memory of that night
seeming once again so fresh- So recent in her mind… Laughter.
It was the sound of purity, new life, and innocence.
Opening her eyes, Lily rose to her feet, her slender fingers resting upon the
worn wooden railing, her curls lightly swaying in the breeze. She looked out
towards the water; the direction the sound had come from. Squinting, she slowly
was able to make out a shape in the distance. She waited, knowing it was only a
matter of time until it came closer.
The man was wearing black pants with a grey and green tartan shirt, a black
cloak hanging open from his shoulders against the slight chill to the air. His
jet-black hair was pulled back, a trimmed black beard adorning his face. He was
laughing, quickly side-stepping and dodging through the sand- Two little girls
at his feet. The elder one shrieked in laughter as he caught her suddenly,
tossing her into the air playfully, her long straight auburn hair shining
vibrantly in the sunshine. Jumping at their feet the younger one clearly wanted
her turn- Her wavy black hair a combination of both her parents looks. Lily
watched them play, a smile curving her pink lips- Her fears and dark memories
already forgotten with the realization that her future couldn’t have been any
brighter, anymore different from those days that had been so full of
questioning and fear.
She had thought Severus dead as she had held him in the wreckage of Neville’s
nursery, her own emotions blinding her to the sudden appearance of Dumbledore’s
pet phoenix, Fawkes. The magnificent bird had given her a gift so rare in its
presence- It had cried with her. Mingling with her own tears, the great crystal
droplets had preserved the man she loved when she was certain that she had felt
his life slip away. It wasn’t until her former Headmaster had knelt beside her
and held her as a father might his own inconsolable child, that she had heard
him speak.
“It is good to find you unscathed.”
She had been enraged at his words, her eyes bleary with tears that seemed
endless, though she had heard Severus gasp before she had been able to level
abuses at the elderly wizard for his insensitivity. Lily had pulled away from
him in that instance, throwing herself upon her lover, who had coughed from her
impact, though embraced her fully.
The only remnant of his nearly fatal encounter had been a thin silver scar
along the fateful line that Voldemort had cut with magic. A mark showing his
sacrifice and bravery- Though he had preferred hiding it with a beard rather
than drawing the stares of so many at such a scar.
They were coming back, the littlest girl upon her father’s shoulders, the other
attempting to walk in stride with him. She held tightly to his hand, though
when she saw Lily, she let go and ran at full speed.
“Mama! Mama, Daddy let us come with him to the beach!” she cried, reaching Lily
and throwing her arms around her.
“I see that,” she laughed, kneeling and pressing a kiss to her forehead, “Did
you find anything?”
She shook her head, dark eyes glittering, “No, but Rosie saw a whale!”
“A whale?!” Lily said with eyes wide, rising to her feet and addressing the
younger girl who still sat on her father’s shoulders, “Rose, you saw an actual
whale?!”
The dark-haired little girl giggled, nodding with excitement, “It jumped! I saw
it’s tail!”
“Did it spray water?” Severus prompted.
She nodded, “It did! It did, Mama!”
“Violet, tell Mama what you did while Rose was watching the whale,” Severus
smiled proudly.
“I made shells float!”
“With magic?”
“Yes!” she squealed, jumping up and down, “I made flowers out of them.”
“Oh darling, that’s very good!” Lily beamed, “You’ll be the brightest witch in
your class by the time you go to Hogwarts.”
“Your mother was,” Severus nodded.
“I want to be just like you, Mama!” Violet said, hugging Lily’s legs.
She ran her hand lovingly through the silken strands of her daughter’s hair,
her eyes finding themselves rested upon the face of the man she loved with all
her heart.
“I’m going to put them down for a nap,” Severus told her, “I’ll be right back.”
“A nap?! No, Daddy!” Rose grumbled, “I want more beach!”
“Can’t we play a little while longer?” Violet agreed, “Please…?”
“Listen to your father,” Lily told them, pulling her blanket closer, “I don’t
want either of you to catch cold.”
“A nap for now,” Severus nodded, “We can play again later… With Mama too!”
Though the girls seemed satisfied with the circumstances, they still made their
displeasure known in regards to napping in general. It took a few moments, but
then Severus returned to Lily upon the deck, his arms moving around her as he
stood behind her, slouching some so that he was able to rest his head on her
shoulder.
“What are you thinking about?”
“Sometimes my mind just wanders,” she sighed, “The darkness is hard to keep at
bay from time to time… The memories- “
“It happens to me too,” he interjected, “You’re not alone.”
“I know,” she told him, “And I’m happy,” she turned in his arms to that she
could face him, her back pressed to the weathered railing, “I want you to know
that I’m so happy, and so grateful for you every day.”
He smiled, pressing his lips to hers, his hands slipping beneath the blanket
she still held close.
“I love you, Sev.”
“And I you, Lily.”
“Did you ever think that our life would be like this?” she asked him.
“No,” he admitted, “I had never imagined that I would be given a second chance
in life- An opportunity to show you every day how much that you mean to me and
how much I love you. Waking up beside you and falling asleep with you in my
arms alone is enough for me to die a happy man. And yet, you have given me two
beautiful girls that fill me with pride and happiness that I never dreamed
possible… You three are my world- My flowers that bloom with hope and courage
alike.”
“If I had lost you- “
He kissed her, “I told you that I had a few tricks you had yet to see…”
“Sev!”
“The dream of what could be was always my fuel to carry on,” he told her, “I
promised you that when everything was over our life would truly begin… And here
we are.” He paused, “Obviously Fawkes helped quite a bit as well.”
“You could say that again...”
“Mrs. Snape,” he said lowly, pulling her flush to him, “Do I need to do
something to free you of this melancholy?” he nipped at her ear, “Perhaps
satiate an inner hunger of sorts?”
“I could use a snack,” she winked, “Though I feel like I’m as big as a house
already…”
His hands slipped down to briefly cup her bottom, before moving over the curve
of her belly, “I think you’re beautiful.”
“I have a feeling it’s a boy this time,” she told him, nuzzling in close to
him, “Things just feel different…”
“Boy or another flower, it doesn’t matter to me.”
“What would you want to name a boy?”
He thought about it for a moment, “Henry.”
“We could call him ‘Harry’ for short,” Lily smiled, “I like it.”
“Are you happy?” he asked her.
“Very,” she whispered, pressing her lips softly to his, her arms moving around
his neck.
He shifted in his stance, the fullness of her breasts pressed against his
chest, an urge of his own becoming more and more apparent by the moment. Lily
reached down and pressed her hand to the growing hardness between them, causing
a groan to emit from deep within her husband’s throat. The heat of his exhaled
breath upon her shoulder caused her skin to prickle with goosebumps instantly,
her nipples straining and chafing against her clothing.
“I want you,” he told her.
“Promise me you’ll never stop?”
“How could I?” he replied with seriousness, fingertips slipping through her red
curls as he gently caressed her cheek, “You’re my everything… You always have
been.”
“After all this time?” she smiled, knowing his answer.
“Always."
Chapter End Notes
     Well, that's it. The End. Fin.
     Guys, we made it. Oh my goodness. :):):)
     I don't think that there are enough words for me to express how much
     everyone's support has truly meant to me while writing this fic-
     Through the annoying trolls and the mild cases of Writer's Block...
     The untimely death of my kitty. It has been an absolute roller
     coaster of a ride.
     But I am just as proud of this story as I was of A_Second_Chance.
     As always, Sev & Lily forever!
     I hope that you all enjoyed the ride just as much as I did.
     ***
     If anyone has any prompt suggestions that they would like to see in
     the future- Ideas of any kind that they would like to see for Sev and
     Lily (or other ships), I would be more than happy to see if I can
     come up with something to run with. If there's something you've never
     seen and would like to read, just throw an idea my way- There's
     nothing too bizarre or crazy that is without possibility. :)
     Final song:
     Here_I_Am_-_Leona_Lewis
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